Eight Years Old

I pretend.

I pretend to be asleep, I pretend not to be hurting, I pretend that I can't hear Hue's sobs.

Yes. I pretend.

That is, of course, until his sobs fade to sniffles, and he addresses me. He must have known I was awake.

I need to get better at pretending.

"Mei..." He whispered softly, into the night. "You're awake, right?"

He did know - I definitely had to get better at pretending. I could pretend I was asleep still, maybe, just pretend that I hadn't heard him. But the hopefulness in his voice, the need to talk to someone, made me quickly decide otherwise.

"S-sorry..." I murmured, hoping he would hear me. If he weren't lying on the floor in my bedroom, I'm sure he would shrug with his next response.

"It's fine. I'm so freakin' loud anyways - even your mom is probably up," he responded bitterly, to which I had nothing to say in reply to. Realizing this, he continued. "I can't believe... It's really gone, you know?" I nodded stiffly - what could I say? There was nothing I could say, and no way for me to know he needed my reassurance. Silence dominated the room for the first time that evening.

"I guess... G'night, Mei," he mumbled, pulling his sleeping bag closer to himself.

"Sweet dreams..." I murmured in reply, doubtful that my voice reached him. It was just as well, anyways - with all the stress he was currently undergoing, my blessing would be wasted. So instead, even quieter, I whispered, "Sorry..."

10 Years Old

I pretend.

I pretend to watch the movie, I pretend not to be distracted, I pretend that I'm not glancing over at Hue every three minutes.

Yes. I pretend.

That is, of course, until he catches me mid-glance, and he addresses me. He must have known that I wasn't watching the film.
I need to get better at pretending.

"Mei, are you even watching?" he asked, his burgundy eyes narrowing accusingly.

He did know - I definitely had to get better at pretending. I could pretend I was watching still, maybe, just pretend that I hadn't heard him due to me being so engrossed in the film. But the fact that he caught me red-handed, the fact that he bothered confronting me, made me quickly decide otherwise.

"Not really," I confessed, gesturing to the screen, where a Pikachu emitted a Thunderbolt for probably the fifteenth time since we had started watching. "It's not exactly interesting." Hue chuckled.

"I know. Your mom is crazy, if she thinks us watching this idiot will make us feel any better about me not being allowed to start my journey today," he replied, annoyance just barely grazing the joking tone that masked his feelings. I pulled my pillow to my chest, staring at his face, now in profile due to him turning away from me, considering possible replies. It wasn't because I knew he needed me - no, not yet. It was because we were friends, it was my job to talk to him, to entertain. I didn't consider myself as a comfort, just a source of entertainment. Much like the movie playing before us. I was there to keep him on his toes, not as someone to rely on.

"I don't get it," I replied, laughing dryly. "You're totally capable of taking care of yourself, and you only want to retrieve Purrloin before it's too late, right? These past two years have prepared you for anything."

I was oblivious to the flash of pain that crossed his features due to the hero of the movie commanding another Thunderbolt.

I heard a shift, so naturally I turned, only to see Hue reach for the remote and press a button. In moments, the room was dark, and Silence dominated the room for the first time that evening.

"Why did you do that?" I finally ask moments later, the Silence having overpowered my own thoughts in a way that could only be described as annoying.

"I was sick of it," he replied casually, as though that should be obvious. "The hero is an absolute idiot - he just wants to be a Master for the sake of it. He has no real purpose, has no drive, knows no pain... He's a fool on the express highway to disaster. Also, he spams Thunderbolt too much. It isn't even that strong of an attack and definitely isn't enough to make a Meowth fly away into the Great Beyond. Two humans, sure. A Meowth? Ridiculous." I shrugged, deciding not to debate in any further when he began tugging his sleeping bag closer around himself.

"G'night, Mei," he finished, leaving no time for a response before he set his head against his pillow.

"Sweet dreams..." I murmured in reply, doubtful that my voice reached him. After I was sure of him being asleep, I took the remote from its place beside him, turning the TV on once more to the lowest (but still audible) volume. One last time, I glanced down at him, feeling a shock of guilt as I noticed the annoyed expression upon his features. "Sorry..."

14 Years Old

I pretend.

I pretend to be ecstatic for Hue, I pretend not to be disappointed, I pretend that I'm not being torn apart.

Yes. I pretend.

That is, of course, until he sets down his own sleeping bag beside my bed, and he addresses me. He must have known that I wasn't truly happy.

I need to get better at pretending.

"Mei, are you not excited?" he asked, his brow furrowing, "We've been waiting forever for this day."

He did know - I definitely had to get better at pretending. I could pretend I was just at loss for words, maybe, just pretend that I hadn't been talking about him about the fact that we would finally be able to leave Aspertia City for our own Pokemon journeys. But the fact that he was my friend, that denying the truth would only make things awkward between us, made me quickly decide otherwise.

"I am..." I began honestly, fiddling with my toes. Hue glanced up at me from his sleeping bag, narrowing his eyes accusingly. He knew there was more, I knew there was more. "I really am. I mean, I've always wanted... I wanted to be able to travel with you. Since we've been friends for so long..."

"Mei, you know tha-" was all he could make out before I interrupted him, also burying my face into my knees..

"Not possible, I know. Because just like that hero, I have no real reason to journey. I just want to be a Master for the sake of it," I spat before laughing dryly. "While you've been burdened with pain for over six years. You have a real purpose, a real drive... And I'll only get in the way."

I didn't have to look at his face to know that he was frowning.

"You know that's not the reason, right, Mei? I know you aren't just going to Train Pokemon for the sake of it... You just want to know who you are, right? That's something that Ash Ketchum will never aim for, cuz we already all know he's an idiot." I smiled to myself, a bit humored by the fact that he couldn't see due to me still being in the fetal position. But there was one last thing I needed to add.

"But... I want to learn who I am with you," I mumbled, feeling my cheeks heat up at the confession. I could imagine Hue shrugging - he's practical, and would never find that odd, seeing as we've been friends for years. At the same time, however, maybe it would be more accurate to call him dense.

"I know, but you know that isn't possible. It isn't that you can't come with me, Mei - it's that I can't go with you. I mean, when the only person you ever spend anytime with is me, where is the border? How do we know what's me and what's you?" I had no response to that - all this time I had thought that we couldn't travel together was because I would only get in the way of his mission to retrieve Purrloin. He continued, "Besides, travelling together is so overrated. You saw that show - anyone who travelled with Ash was such a total sidekick character."

It was interesting how much he claimed to hate that show when he made so many references to it.

"But... I wouldn't mind being your side-kick," I admitted sheepishly.

He replied in seconds, "But that would kinda defeat the point of you travelling, wouldn't it?"

I closed my eyes, painting everything black. Interesting how closing one's eyes did that. "But I'll miss you..." I mumbled, trailing off. Hue thought quietly, and Silence dominated the room for the first time that evening.

"It's not as though we won't see each other - we're both starting at the same time and travelling through the same region. We'll test each other's strengths with battles and such when we run into each other. It'll be fun." He pauses, and I finally lift my head from my knees to find him staring at me intensely. "And when one of us needs the other's help..." he trails off and glances away, but it was easy for me to fill in the blanks.

I'll be there.

"You know..." he mumbled fifteen minutes later, when we were both blanketed and close to reaching the land of dreams for the last time in Aspertia before we began on our journey, "I'll miss you too."

I nodded, grateful for his honesty. I closed my eyes and whispered, "Thank you..."