Prologue.

After a terrible nightmare I woke up. Screaming, hoping to find something better. My heart beating like a jackrabbit, fast and uncontrolled. I hadn't thought that it could possibly happen. There were so many thoughts going through my head, too much to ever describe and even remember. But my first thought I could still remember very clear: I had to find out what was going on as soon as possible. I just didn't know what I was looking for. The only evidence I had, was that my feelings had changed. I couldn't control my thoughts, couldn't think clearly when he was near. Frustrated as I was, I was pulling my hands through my hair, feeling insecure and a little bit desperate. What should I do? I had to be sensible, but clearly it was already too late for that. My instinct has caught up with my sanity and I will have to live with the consequences. I will have to live with myself, if I'd ever survived. Ever is a dangerous word. It actually meant never, in some sort of way, and that was a word I had never used in my whole life. But right now I couldn't find a more suitable word for it. I had to make a decision. Should I stay or run. Stay or run. It kept echoing through my head. But did I even have a choice? Could I possibly run? Suddenly I saw my entire life flashing back. Nothing was certain anymore, not even my heart pulse, the floating blood in my veins. Nothing, completely nothing. All the years, nothing, everything a waste.