His arms are wrapped around me so tightly that I can't breathe, whispering okay excitedly over and over again in my ear and I can't help but laugh out loud. The world is spinning around me, but I'm not sure if it's under his power or because my mind is swirling with imagination of the future.

My feet find the ground again, but I feel unsteady and I won't let go of him. I'll never let go of him.

I never imagined myself to be this woman, excitedly celebrating an engagement with the man she loved. The woman dreaming of a long life together with the man she couldn't live without.

Hell, before him, I couldn't even fathom the idea of needing anyone but myself.

I feel his lips brush against the side of my neck and it begins in my heart, a swelling. Then it shoots through my chest like electricity to my arms, my skin tingles under his touch and I lay my head against his shoulder as his lips explore their way up my chin.

Every night for the rest of my life is going to be like this.

This or surgery, of course.

I realized a week ago that I had to make a choice, that I had to choose between Burke and surgery. That I couldn't have my cake and eat it too, that I couldn't be happy and successful, and I couldn't think of a way to let him down.

I couldn't think of a way to let him go.

Meredith might not have thought it a gift that her mother was lucid, but the opportunity to talk with the Ellis Grey, a woman who I hold in the highest of respects despite her situation with her daughter...

The opportunity to ask her what she thought was more than I could've ever expected.

It was as if it was all meant to be.

'I didn't try hard enough.' She told me.

Her affair, her love didn't work out because she had to try.

With Burke I don't have to try, it comes easier than anything else that I've ever done in my life.

Sure, it might be difficult sometimes, and we get frustrated with each other, but we're always drawn back together. We need each other.

We need each other like we need air.

There's nothing that scares me about this; with everything we've been through in the past month, the silent treatment, the surgeries, the lies that we told everyone…

We're still together, and not once did it cross my mind to walk away from him. It was never an option. Being without him after everything we've been through has never been an option.

I've questioned myself before. I questioned my decision to come to Seattle just to study under the world's best surgeon when I could be working at some of the most prominent hospitals in the world. I questioned my decision to accept that cup of coffee from him, and I definitely questioned my decision to accept that first date.

My questions changed after that though, after I realized how much I truly cared for him. I questioned my decision to keep the apartment. I questioned my judgment for walking away from him after he got shot. I questioned everything that I used in myself to fight the emotions, to fight the attachment that I'd developed for him.

His lips find mine and I'm drawn back to the moment, the reality of it all hits as I realize that I'm kissing the man that I'm truly going to spend the rest of my life with.

I feel that familiar ache in my body as his hands begin to wander up the back of my shirt, his skin warm against mine and I push him backwards towards the bedroom, holding tight to his lips with mine. We should probably come up for air sometimes, but I want more time.

I need more time to commit this to memory.

I can't remember the last time that we were this happy, this hungry for each other. I shiver as he lowers me to the bed and then himself over me, still kissing me hungrily.

My hand finds his chest and I push him away for just a second, catching his gaze with mine. I want him to know that I'm happy.

Without saying it, of course.

"So what are the odds of you changing your last name for me?" He grins, already knowing that I'd never dream of it.

I bite my lip for a moment, and decide that keeping him guessing is always the best answer ."Isn't that what you do when you get married or whatever?"

He looks surprised and I withhold a grin as for the second time tonight he has to steady himself to shoot back some sort of reply, he leans closer to me, "I love you." He whispers, his silky voice soft and low.

Again, I could surprise him, and right now he probably expects that I'd say it or something, but it's just not the best time for me, as my mind is wandering about something else. "You gonna take my clothes off or what?" I grin and our lips meet once again.

I'll have the rest of my life to say it back. The rest of our lives to say it back.