TRIGGER WARNING: SELF-HARM AND SEXUAL ASSAULT
This is a story I've been knocking around since November, really. The more that I learn about consent, the more I doubt that Blaine actually gave consent to Eli. This is an exploration of a different way 4x06 could have gone if this angle had been explored.
Burt hadn't really wanted to go see Grease. He knew it would bring back memories of Kurt and his mom, dancing around in the living room while watching the musical, back when everything seemed perfect and indestructible. Having Kurt home for the weekend was nice, but it just seemed to remind Burt how much of an absence that Kurt had left.
Oh, and despite how many months had gone by, Burt was still fairly annoyed with the whole institution of McKinley. He couldn't see why Finn was clinging to it in the way he was. But, then again, Finn had never had the same negative experiences that Kurt had.
It wasn't until he and Carole had found their way-too-small seats in McKinley's auditorium that Burt realized another reason he should have stayed home: Blaine. Kurt had refused to say much of anything about their break up, but Burt was of the understanding that whatever had happened, it was Blaine's fault. And that it had been no small disagreement.
Burt had felt conflicted when he got the call. There was a large part of him that simply wanted to tear Blaine limb-from-limb like he'd always thought he'd do if someone broke his precious little boy's heart. But Blaine was, well, Blaine. He'd become a part of the Hummel family, although he'd disappeared somewhat once Kurt had gone. Burt had often wondered in the months before the breakup if he knew more about the kid than Blaine's own parents did.
Ultimately, Burt didn't want to believe that Blaine could have done anything to make Kurt cry that hard over the phone. But he clearly did. So Burt didn't make any move to see how Blaine was doing, deciding that his allegiance should always be with Kurt. This, Burt realized much later, was one of the biggest mistakes of his life.
The show went well, or, at least, better than Burt had expected a production directed by Finn could go. Burt was kinda surprised that Blaine hadn't gone for a lead. Okay, not just kinda, but extremely. But, then again, Burt thought he knew a lot of things about Blaine that didn't seem to actually be true.
Blaine was good as 'Teen Angel' but it definitely didn't come anywhere near to measuring up to his performance in West Side Story the year before. When the curtain falls and the show finishes, Carole decides to go find and congratulate Finn. Burt wants to, but his need to use the washroom takes precedence.
Leaving the washroom and walking past a closet, he hears a strange noise. He pauses. Another noise. A whimper. Burt hates that he recognizes the sound. It's Blaine. Clearly in distress. Burt considers walking away, but a louder sound rings out, a sob this time, and the idea is erased from his mind.
He approaches the door, unsure of what to do or what to say, but knowing that he needs to do something. He knocks quietly on the door. The noises stop.
"Blaine? Is that you? Can I come in? It's Burt."
The door doesn't open, and he hears no reply. As he opens the door, he realizes that there is no light inside the closet. Blaine's already red and tear-filled eyes cringe as the light hits him.
"Hey, buddy." Burt says softly, trying to keep Blaine calm as he steps into the tiny room.
It has the opposite effect. Blaine's sobbing increases, and he shuffles away from Burt as much as the small space allows. He wraps his arms around his body as if to protect himself. Burt is in the process of realizing how much smaller Blaine has become when he understands the action: Blaine is afraid of him.
Burt is not too sure what to do about that, so he sits down across from Blaine, leaving a very clear path to the door. Blaine is no longer cornered; he has an escape route.
"I'm not going to hurt you." Burt whispers, and Blaine looks up, confusion on his tear stained face.
"I understand that things aren't so good with you and Kurt right now, but I remember promising you in the spring that I'd still be here for you even if you and Kurt weren't together."
Blaine is simply staring at Burt now, tears still streaming down his cheeks. He's trembling slightly.
"I can see how much you're hurting, so I'm not going to ask you if you're okay. But I will ask you if I can do anything to help you."
Blaine doesn't say anything, so Burt just waits, trying to prove to Blaine that he's is actually comfortable with being around his son's ex-boyfriend.
It doesn't work – Blaine doesn't say anything, so Burt decides to ask again.
"Is there anything you want to talk about, Buddy?"
Something changes in his eyes. Resolution, almost. Very slowly, he begins to extend one arm, palm up, towards Burt.
"I've been cutting." Blaine says, more a breath than a whisper.
It doesn't exactly surprise Burt, but, all the same, he feels something tear inside of him.
"Okay." Burt says, trying to seem calm so as to not upset Blaine any further. Blaine's still got his arm extended, and it confuses Burt, but he eventually realizes that it's an invitation to inspect the boys arm.
He leans forward and gently cups the underside of Blaine's wrist in one hand, easing up the sleeve of the white sweater as carefully as he can. He sees a bandaged wrapped loosely around most of the forearm, and is alarmed to see that it is stained with blood. He wonders briefly how the sweater is still immaculate.
"Have you been cleaning your cuts?" Burt asks, concern filling him.
The look on Blaine's face suggests that it hadn't even crossed his minds to take care of the cuts, to take care of himself.
Burt starts to peel back the bandage, but it's stuck to the skin. One whimper from Blaine and Burt knows what he has to do.
"Blaine, we need to get someone to clean you up properly. I'm worried that you might be developing an infection."
Blaine shudders at the word, but nods.
While Burt definitely is worried about the risk of infection, it's actually not his greatest concern. Blaine's complete disregard for his body as indicated by not caring for his cuts suggests that the cutting isn't about coping or release or anything like the explanations he's heard before. It's about hurting himself. And if Blaine is genuinely wanting to hurt himself, what happens when cutting isn't enough?
It's too much to think about, so Burt stands up, and crouches next to Blaine to help him stand as well. They walk silently through the building together, and Burt is suddenly glad that he and Carole arrived in separate vehicles. He helps Blaine into the car, closes Blaine's door, and calls Carole.
She's concerned – of course she is. Burt's never met anyone with a stronger mothering nature. Not to mention how much she loves Blaine. She agrees to find Kurt and break the news to him, and then come meet Burt and Blaine at the hospital.
I'm planning for this to be about 3-4 chapters. The next two are written, so I'll post again in a few days. If you're here because of my other in-progress fics, well, I will get back to them eventually, I promise! I've been drafting more of BatK, and plan to start posting during the summer hiatus!
Please comment to let me know what you think of this new fic!
xSarah
