Re uploaded chapter, It recently got edited by PianoPrincess, thanks to her it flows better. Please everyone enjoy and leave me a review i would really appreciate it thank you.
Disclaimer: I don't own the series Uragiri wa Boku no Namae o Shitteiru...The things i would have Luka do to Yuki if I did own it, but it's a good thing i didn't own it i don't think i would do as well of a job as the author her self.
Feelings of the Present
Sunset at the Twilight Mansion, a cool autumn breeze blows through the gardens as Yuki walks through them alone and lost deep in thought.
"Why don't I remember anything from my past life?" Yuki says out loud to himself with a sigh. He stops at a bench and takes a seat. Hands folded in his lap, he stares off into the sunset.
"It's so beautiful here, the sunset is just amazing. I wish…I wish Luka was here." `I wonder where he is.' Yuki thought to himself. `Why do I long for him when he's not around? Why does my soul feel at ease when I am with him?' Yuki thought to himself, 'Do I love Luka? I think maybe I do, but why? Should I tell him? If I do what will he say? Would he turn away? God my heart is so confused, if I tell Luka about how I feel I might lose him and I don't want that.' Yuki sighed and thought to himself, 'Oh what should I do?'
"Yuki" Luka calls, bringing Yuki out of his own thoughts, "Are you ok?" he asks "You seem lost." Luka walks over to the bench and sits down next to Yuki. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine. It's nothing really." Yuki replies
"You know you don't have to be afraid to tell me, I am here Yuki" Luka says gently. Yuki looks up into Luka's silver eyes and thinks, 'Those eyes holds so much pain and loneliness when they look upon me. Why? I just want to reach out and take it all away.' Turning away from Luka, Yuki looks down at the ground. Luka silently waits for Yuki, with a longing to reach out and hold Yuki in his arms.
"It's just…." Yuki trails off. He can't bring himself to say the words he's really thinking `It's just I want to tell you that I love you, but I can't say just yet. I must know about my past first. I have to find out about us.' Looking back up at Luka and wanting to ask if there was more between them then just the contract that was made, but just couldn't bring himself to ask. 'There couldn't have been more. I am his master and that's it, right? But why do I feel like there was more to it. I have to know, but how do I ask without losing what I have now? I know Luka was important to me; I know that deep down in my heart, but just how important was he? What should I do? I want to be with Luka, and I want to see him happy. Can I make him happy...?' Not wanting to tell Luka his thoughts he just says with a forced smile. "It's nothing really I think I might be tired is all. Don't worry yourself about me."
Not wanting to push the subject Luka stands up and holds out his hand for Yuki and says "Ok…" with half a smile "I am here for you whenever you need me. Just give me all of your burdens and I will carry them for you. Remember, I will never betray you."
Why does he always say that Yuki wonders as he takes Lukas hand, 'it must have something to do with our contract.' not wanting to think about it anymore he stands up so emotionally exhausted he falls into Luka. On the verge of passing out Luka gently picks up Yuki in his arms and carries him to his room.
Placing the already asleep Yuki in his bed, he gently touches Yuki's cheek. `Yuki what troubles you so much?' Dropping his hand he looks out the window with a sigh. `Yuki what if I told you that I loved you, would you love me back? Does that love you once had for me still linger deep within your heart?'
Turning to leave the room he looks back at Yuki with a longing. "Sodom, stay with Yuki tonight."
Sodom pops up out of nowhere in his little dragon form and looks at his master with sad eyes. `Oh master' he thinks, then turns and flies to Yuki, curls up next to him, and falls asleep.
In the late early morning while Yuki sleeps Luka goes out to the garden's, and stares up at the stars. He puts his arms around his middle as he starts to think. `Oh Yuki, sometimes I wish you would remember your past life so I can hold you in my arms again. There have been so many times I wanted to tell you about your past, but couldn't bring myself to say anything, because I don't know what those memories will do to you. You asked me about us once and all I said was that we made a contract so I could live and making you my master, but I wanted to tell you everything. I wanted to tell you that we were lovers, and sometimes I wish I could go back so I can tell you. I just wish you knew all this because whenever I see you or am with you, I hold back the urge to kiss you, and tell you my feeling that have been locked away inside my heart this whole time, but if I did that it might cause you pain. I just want you to be happy and if you not remembering will bring you happiness, then so be it.'
Looking away from the stars, Luka closes his eyes and relives the past one last time. Sighing he opens his eyes and looks out to the garden, but not really seeing it. "That life is gone now. I must put my feelings aside and protect the present Yuki." He tells himself out loud. `But Yuki is Yuki the soul has not changed and I will always love Yuki even if he doesn't love me back.'
Dropping his arms he turns back towards the mansion and standing there watching him was Tooko.
"Thinking about Yuki?" she asks
Not answering her, he starts to walk towards the mansion, but suddenly stops, not even looking at her she goes on to say. "It must be hard for you to be near him and him not even remembering you. I mean you two loved each other once, doesn't it bother you? I can see the pain in your eyes every day and it causes me pain just to know that you're hurting. Why don't you just tell him? He is the same Yuki no matter what he looks like, right? I know he would understand."
Taken back by Tooko's words, shock took over his body he didn't know what to say, he just stared at her for a moment.
"And I know he wants to remember all of us, and maybe it's time to tell him so you both can be at peace."
Finally able to look away Luka replies "I don't want to cause him pain."
"Even if it causes you pain?" Tooko says with tears in her eyes.
"It doesn't matter how I feel as long as Yuki is happy, that's all that matters to me." Luka tells her and begins to walk towards the mansion again.
Tooko shaking with sadness from the heart ache she feels deep down, grabs Lukas arm, stopping him. "We are all hurting too it's not just you he has forgotten it's all of us too. We all want him to remember. Just don't give up he will remember I just know he will just give it time." Crying now, Tooko continues "I know you have been waiting for so long for Yuki to be reborn, and now that he's here you suffer in silence, but you don't have to. We are all suffering too. Don't be afraid to talk to us, ok? I just want to see you both happy again. Even if he doesn't remember us as long as he remembers you, it's enough to make me happy." Wiping the tears from her eyes she finishes "I know deep down Yuki will remember you, you're too important to him. What was it that past Yuki said? `No matter what she looked like and no matter what she was born into she would always love you.' Hold on to that 'because deep down I know Yuki loves you… still."
Tear's running down his face Luka pulls away from Tooko's grip and quickly disappears into the night before Tooko notices his weakness.
Tooko left alone in the dark and unable to stop the tears from flowing, wraps her arms around herself. "Oh Luka" she whispers "I am so sorry"
The next morning Yuki wakes up from his dreams and stares at the ceiling. `Another dream. what was this one about? Why can't I remember any of my dreams? They feel too important to forget so why don't I remember?'
Sitting up he notices Sodom laying right next to him "Have you been here all night?" he asks him giving Sodom a quick pat on the head Yuki looks up seeing a dark shadow sitting in the corner. "Luka?" he calls out.
Luka stands up and walks over to Yuki "Are you ok?" he asks
Yuki look deep into Lukas silver eyes and sees only sadness. The feeling of longing comes over Yuki `I just want to reach out and take away his pain. I want to tell him how I feel.' Shaking the thought away `I can't. What if he doesn't feel the same way?'
Yuki just smiles "Yea I am fine it's just another dream I can't remember, it's nothing to worry about."
Yuki's smile warms Luka's heart `I love you Yuki' but doesn't say it, he just says "That's good" with a concerned voice and smiles back.
Yuki can see the sadness behind his smile `Why does he look so sad? Did something happen in the past that makes him so sad? He was a slave to the demon king once maybe that's it, maybe he still feels like a slave cause of our contract? No that can't be, it could it? Maybe I should release from it, will that bring him happiness to those sad beautiful eyes of his. But I don't know if I can, I don't want to lose him. I love him and I can't bring myself to say it.'
Looking down with closed eyes Yuki tells Luka "I'm hungry let's get something to eat."
Nodding his agreement Luka follows Yuki out of the room.
At breakfast everyone seems to be in good spirits.
"Good morning Yuki!" Tooko says with a hug
"Good morning Tooko" Yuki replies
"Good morning Luka" Tooko says with a bit of worry in her voice as she remembers the conversation they had last night. Looking at Luka he just nobs at her and walks off to a corner and sits down.
"I baked a variety of bread this morning" Tooma said bring Tooko to reality. "I hope you all enjoy it… Hey um where's Hotsuma and Shuusei?"
"They're in Shuusei's room having a heated…um…conversation." Tsukumo replies with a red face. "They kinda been at it all night."
"Spying on them are we Tsukumo?" Tooma asks
"No, not trying to, their minds are really loud" says Tsukumo 'I am going to have nightmares for the rest of my life. These images will never go away.' A shiver runs down his spine as he thinks about it. `But I am glad they're enjoying their time together' Tsukumo couldn't help but smile at that thought.
Worried, Tooko looks at her partner and asks "Are they ok? Have they been fighting?"
"Yeah, they're perfectly fine, don't worry about them. I don't think they're going to school though." He says with a smile.
"Not going to school? But they must, I will go get them." Tooko says
"Nooo!" Tsukumo yells then says more softly "Just give them their time together. With this down time we have we may not have another chance like this to be with the ones we love the most. We don't know when Reiga will come at us again, and I think we all need to use this time to spend with each other so just let Hotsuma and Shuusei have what happiness they can get. school can wait." He tells her with a smile.
Tooko stares at her partner for minute, suddenly realizing what Hotsuma and Shuusei are up to she just smiles "You're right" looking towards Yuki then to Luka, and tears start to form. `Oh Luka you will get your happiness back.' "I have to finish getting ready for school" she tells everyone and quickly turns around before Tsukumo sees her crying. As she walks down the long hallway to her room she thinks to herself `Oh Yuki please remember us, and if you can't remember us please remember Luka because he deserves to be remembered. After all you were the one that brought light and hope to his life, to all of our lives. I just want to see the two of you happy.'
That night Yuki makes a silent wish to the stares `Please help me remember my past life. I want to remember everyone, and more importantly I want to remember Luka most of all.' Closing his eyes, `this is my wish.'
With an aching heart he turns around and starts walking to his bed, as he gets closer he notices Sodom curled up on his pillow. "If I asked you about my past would you tell me Sodom?"
Sodom just looks up with concerned eyes.
"Oh forget it your master probably told you not to mention anything which makes me wonder how he truly feels."
Sighing he climbs in not to Sodom, "I just want to remember us and everyone else. I know they all are waiting for me to remember, and its causing everyone pain. I don't want everyone hurting because of me." Tear's running down Yuki's cheeks. Sodom paws at him to try to comfort him, and Yuki pats him on the head in response. "There also are these feelings I have for Luka and I want to tell him I love him but I…" Yuki trails off. Sodom perks and looks at Yuki with a spark of happiness in his eyes at the fact Yuki saying he loves his master. Sodom gets up about ready to change into his human form so he can tell Yuki that his master feels the same way but stops remember what his master told him about not saying anything and sits back down at the same time Yuki begins to speak again.
"I don't know how he would react, does he love me too or no? Why do I feel this way? I know it has something to do with my past so I must know, but I don't know how to get those memories back. Why did my past self, want to forget? Did something happen between her/me and Luka to make her/me want to forget? Is that why Luka looks so sad every time I see him? Grrr! So many questions, I just don't know what to do, what do you think Sodom?"
Sodom just walks into Yuki's lap not knowing if he should tell him how his master feels or not. His master did say not to mention anything, well more like ordered him not to, and an order is an order. `Oh Yuki I wish I can tell you how master truly feels, but it is good to know you feel the same way now master can be happy once again.' Sodom sighs happily and lies down in Yuki's lap.
"Oh Sodom I know you love me, but what about Luka? Oh well I am too tired to think about it right now, maybe I will remember something tomorrow. Goodnight Sodom." Yuki closes his eyes and drifts off to sleep.
