Chapter I:
Different Endings
"When you have lost hope, you have lost everything. And when you think all is lost, when all is dire and bleak, there is always hope."
-Pittacus Lore
She knew she was going to die.
Despite what Hotaru said, everything felt constricted and so tight around her chest, making it harder to breathe. It was the cold pain of death she felt coming on to her side as she saw her best friend's tears drip down the pale cheek.
Some people often died painlessly, but she knew that wasn't her ending. It would be too light a punishment for her, a girl who comitted too many sins and caused grief all around. Her fate was to die, with every detail clear to the finest point, including the suffocating pain.
Looking up at the ceiling as she took her last breaths, she wondered if it was too much to wish to be with her friends forever. Taking in one last breath, she smiled at Hotaru as the world faded from her vision.
A girl was walking lightly through the academy. Her long, auburn tresses, normally held up in somewhat childish pigtails, were loose and limp, framing her pale face. Her hazel eyes, once sparkling and lively, were dull as if she lost hope in everything she believed in. In a way, some would think that maybe she had.
Her knee-high, black boots clacked softly in the empty, extravagant halls of her beloved academy, the foundation of everything she knew and loved.
But soon, it would all be gone.
The girl found herself wandering through the corridors, drinking in all of the features in hopes that it would inscribe itself into her brain and never fade. She walked aimlessly for what she thought would be the last time.
The sky was clear, except for a few fluffy clouds here and there. The sunlight spilled through the windows all the way at the top of the walls, casting shadows where the sun didn't hit. Though one would think it was overall a beautiful day, with a slight breeze ruffling the bright green leaves, a close observer would disagree.
They would notice how the clouds looked rather ominous, with the imperceptible shade of gray. They would notice that the shadows the sun cast were looming over over the few dead plants remaining, even though it was April. They would notice how the breeze was like a whisper, warning those who listened about a danger soon to come.
Nature was right, but no one had listened.
OoloO
Narumi paused right in front of the doorway of his classroom at the sight of the girl. She was renowned for her optimism and her ability to make anyone laugh. To see her like this, almost like a lifeless doll, was a rarity practically no one had even heard about, much less seen.
Narumi turned and continued walking until he was right in front of the girl. She didn't seem to notice him until she bumped into him. "Are you okay?" he asked out of sheer concern.
The girl froze in her steps. "Yep," she said, fidgeting.
Narumi opened his mouth to say something, and then closed it. He meant to ask if she was okay emotionally and mentally speaking, but she obviously wasn't. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. He could tell she was lying, just by how tense she looked and the way she was averting her eyes.
He shook his head, making the blond locks follow the small motion. "Okay. Never mind then."
The girl smiled before walking away. Narumi's smile dropped from his lips. He turned around in the opposite direction the girl had went, pitying her.
Her eyes had a worn, beaten-down expression, one that most adults didn't have until they were dragged down with problems of their own. A teacher at a problematic school that was corrupted from the inside out, and his amethyst eyes had yet to gain that darkness that had lingered in her hazel ones.
Her eyes, he thought with a shiver, are too mature and aged for a twelve year-old girl.
As the thought passed through his mind, he instantly felt guilt weighing heavily upon his shoulders. He felt as if he was responsible, as if he had betrayed the brunette somehow.
After all, the girl had done pretty much everything in an effort to make the academy change its cruel ways. Her work paid in the end, but she had given things nobody should sacrifice. She had gone through dangers only kids with hyperactive imaginations would merely dream of as they wished for a similar adventure. Narumi betted she would've been that kid with the overactive imagination, but that time had long since passed.
Narumi scoffed at himself. Somewhere along the way, she had lost her innocence along with her childhood that should've lasted much, much longer. She wasn't even a teen yet, just barely twelve but she lost her childhood before it had even begun.
Like a childhood that should've come with parents.
For most of her life, she had been left in the dark involving the topic of her parents. She grew up on the rural side of Japan with her 'grandpa', abiding his rules and the reprimands that occasionally came with her many mistakes.
It wasn't until after she attended the academy that she finally learned about her parents. She found out, with the help of a somewhat unwilling teacher, that her father had died before she was even born. She had watched him die, but she could've prevented it. They had been so close, standing just mere inches away from her. Then, as she ignored the protests of her friends beside her, she had reached out her arm to do something, anything. She had been too late though. He was already gone.
She had an uncle named Kazumi, but she didn't even know she had other relatives besides her grandpa until she came to the academy. Unlike her father, Kazumi was a serious, strict man with a strong sense of duty. He had the Longetivity Alice that made him look like he was in his twenties forever and the Detection Alice, which allowed him to see of a person had an Alice, be it through a picture, meeting in person, or in a reflection.
She had been deprived of a childhood that came with friends and hopefully, love.
She had friends. That, no one could deny. Yes, she had friends but she couldn't remember them after this day- she wasn't permitted to.
As for love? She had gotten her love, but as was the case for most of the things she had, it came with a price.
For one, when she met him, he was cold and distant to everybody except his best friend Ruka, but even the two were growing distant. The rest of his class were either in love with him because of his rebellious and 'bad boy' act that wasn't really an act, followed him because he was a role model for other students that hated the teachers and their ways of deceiving others, or scared of him because of rumors that he murdered a person or that he burnt a whole city down.
Secondly, the person she loved was slowly dying and it wasn't from an illness or disease. Actually, it would've been better if that was the cause of his deteriorating health. At least it would be curable. He was dying from his own power, called an Alice.
He was allowed to access fire whenever he wanted, in whatever shape. Every time he conjured fire, though, in order to protect his friends who didn't even realize they were being protected, his life force was drained, promising him a very slow, painful death.
Thirdly, after years of naivety coming from the young girl, she found his true feelings towards her in a not-so-normal way, triggering her feelings and finally allowing her to reply that she loved him too. It was all a very sweet moment, but it couldn't last. They were forced to separate and after her mother was killed by a betrayal that came from a student, the girl was taken hostage.
Conflicts ensued and the boy had died as a result.
What happened was that a controlled student had stabbed the boy in the back as he was distracted. After a moment of hesitation, the boy had decided to kill the elementary school principal, the man who had caused the academy to be corrupted. He had shooed off his friends and saying that he wouldn't die; at least not before seeing the girl's bright smile.
That promise wasn't kept.
The girl had arrived just in time for the notorious fire-user nicknamed the Black Cat to take his last breath. She had pleaded with him, hoping for him to respond, reminding him of their promise on Christmas while all her friends had watched sadly as they had known the truth.
Seeing as his hand was still warm and his flames were still ongoing, she had taken it as a sign that he was still alive - just not breathing.
The flames were taking away his life, and the girl had known that fact all too well. She had begged him to stop the fire, but to no avail. His hand was slowly growing cold.
Tears had streamed out of her eyes without her knowing it, and her body had begun to be bathed in a strange light; exactly like the one earlier when she stole all the stones of the Soul-Sucking Alice out of some peoples' bodies. As she hugged him, wishing for him to come back, her body was fully engulfed in the light. With a flash, the light was gone, along with the flames and the girl's consciousness.
Kazumi's mask had cracked gradually until it eventually fell to the ground, shattered in pieces. A thought had sprung into his head as he dropped to the ground to pick up two stones - but they was no ordinary stones. The crimson stone, the same color as the boy's eyes, was, in a nutshell, the boy's Alice in a condensed shape in form of a stone. Because of that, the stone was called an Alice stone. The other Alice stone, however, was a light but at the same time, a deep orange that wasn't as big as the boy's. It was the girl's Alice stone.
The girl's eyes had fluttered open and she had snapped awake at the sight of the boy. She had skimmed her hands over his face and arms, hoping to see a sign - a twitch of his fingers, a groan from his injuries, even a heartbeat - that implied he was alive.
He wasn't.
The girl was about to cry from despair, but her uncle provided another alternative. With shaking hands, Kazumi (who happened to be the High School Principal, called the HSP for short) had explained briefly, saying that since the boy's Alice was taking away his life, giving more of the Alice back might lengthen it.
The girl had lunged for the red stone and held it down on the boy's injured chest, praying that her power would come into play. Her Alice was a rare one, one that had only been seen once before. Her Alices were Nullification, giving her the power to literally nullify any other Alices, Insertion, which was the power to insert any Alice stones into someone so they may temporally wield the power the Alice stone held, and finally, Stealing - the ability to steal Alices and shape it into an Alice stone. The last wielder of the Nullification Alice was her dad, while Insertion and Stealing Alices were inherited by her mom.
As she had hoped to insert the stone into the boy, prolonging his life even just by a bit, the stone had refused to budge and stayed in the palm of her hand, pressed firmly on the boy's chest.
Her power was gone. Her Alices were the only thing that was keeping her in the school. Now that it was lost...
Only the girl's friend, Hotaru, was thoughtful and smart enough to see a chance to turn things around. That chance came in the form of a certain teacher who was conveniently there at the time and had the power to time-travel. Nodacchi, Hotaru, and her brother Subaru who had the Healing and Pain Alice, they took along the dead body and time-travelled back a few days to prevent all of the events that had transpired from happening.
After a week of no communication, even she, the girl with even she, the faithful and unwavering girl, was starting to have doubts. Eventually, Hotaru had come back, with the boy in her older brother's arms.
In the end, the hope amounted to nothing. The hope was crushed and trodden on, for he was still dead.
If the girl had looked more closely, she would have noticed the anguished look in her friend's violet eyes.
That way, she would know. She would know that there was no saving the boy she loved.
That way, Hotaru wouldn't have had to speak in such a resigned tone and tight voice with all her regrets and grief tangled into it. The girl would've seen Hotaru's eyes were dark with emotion, something Hotaru hadn't shown in quite a while.
That way, the girl would know there was no hope.
All this ran through Narumi's head as he strode back toward the faculty room, hoping to try and convince his superiors to rethink the decision.
The girl sighed, swinging her long legs back and forth as she gripped the stone bench she was sitting on with pale hands. She was in the courtyard, thinking about what to say when it was time to leave. It was her last day here, after all.
"... Can it work?"
Distant voices spoken in a whisper drifted along with the wind. It was so inaudible, that the girl almost didn't catch the words.
"I don't know."
A hesitant pause.
The person continued speaking, a girl, her voice becoming clearer by the second. "There is a slim possibility that it could work, but there would have to be something lost."
Subaru and Hotaru, the girl realized. Hurriedly, she looked around for a place to hide. Finding an oak tree, she quickly scaled it and was halfway up the entire tree when she thought, Why am I doing this?
Despite her thought, she continued climbing and watched - eavesdropped on - the conversation.
"Who?" Subaru asked quietly.
Hotaru sighed, looking up at the sky. "I don't know. This thing," she gestured toward a rectangular invention in her hands, "will tell me. It will know. That is, if it'll even work."
The invention looked like a metal box. The box, the size of a large textbook, was white and smooth, with only a few buttons in the corner, all of which beamed different colors.
As Hotaru got up from the bench that the girl had previously sat on, the invention began to blink a red light, as if telling Hotaru something.
Hotaru looked around to see if someone was near, and was rewarded by the sight of the girl grasping a branch with her hands. "Mikan?"
Mikan Sakura hesitantly looked down and after a moment of hesitation, she jumped down, wincing when she landed on her right knee, scratching it. "Hey, Hotaru. What were you talking about?"
Instead of answering, Hotaru looked towards Subaru, who in turn looked at her. "Is it her?" Subaru said.
"It is. Though I don't know why it would be her since she..." Hotaru's eyes widened a bit, as if she realized something. "Of course. Nullification, Stealing, Insertion."
Mikan felt uneasy. It was her Alices... or her used-to-be Alices. The blood from her scratch began to trickle down her leg in a thin, red line. She shifted almost unconsciously to her other foot, putting her weight on it. She paid no heed to it though as she attentively watched the two siblings in their silent conversation.
"What about those Alices?" Mikan asked.
Seeing as her best friend wouldn't reply, she looked at Subaru, who also seemed to realize the same thing as Hotaru. After a few seconds, he visibly relaxed and shook his head, saying, "It can't be her. She lost her Alices so it wouldn't work."
Hotaru didn't seem to hear him as she took out a notepad and a pencil and wrote furiously. A minute later, she showed her older brother what she wrote, who took it with calculating eyes.
When Mikan got a small peek at it, her head swam. It was full of numbers and scientific terms that the thought of it made her dizzy. As she scanned the paper, she saw some words she understood, like 'lost', 'Alices', 'life', and 'box'. That was it.
Directing her attention somewhere else, her eyes landed on Subaru, who was frowning. His violet eyes, sharp behind his glasses which made him look all the more smarter, were churning with an emotion Mikan couldn't comprehend. Sadness? Relief? Anger? She didn't know.
Just as Mikan was about to ask what the matter was, Subaru spoke heavily. "According to your calculations, if she goes through with this, there is no 'if'. Her life will be lost in the process."
Mikan scrunched her eyebrows. What were they talking about?
Hotaru looked at her brother with blank eyes. "This is a waste of time. It won't work. I'll just destroy this or recycle it. It might be good for spare parts."
Mikan gasped. "No!" Two heads swung toward her direction. "I won't allow it! Whatever it is, you can't let one of your inventions go to waste!"
"Mikan."
Mikan clamped her mouth shut. Hotaru's voice was dangerously low as she proceeded to say, "Do you even know what you're saying? This invention could - no - will destroy you. It will take away your life."
Mikan blinked, blinked again, then smiled at her best friend. "Tell me what it does, then. If it could take away my life, I should at least know what it does."
Hotaru seemed a bit taken aback at this. Regaining her composure, she replied, "It has the power to take away all Alices and put it in this box. Any Alices in the world... Any Alices in any world," she explained.
Mikan's eyes widened. She fidgeted as she asked, "What's this have to do with my life then?"
"Dummy. Your Alices could potentially nullify and steal the other Alices, then insert it into the box."
"Why would I need to nullify when I can steal or vice versa?" Mikan asked, tilting her head.
"There are Alices more powerful than yours. You couldn't possibly steal them all in one go. You would at least need to nullify them partially, steal them, and then insert it into the box," Subaru said.
"Okay, I guess I can understand that. But what's it have to do with my life?" Mikan asked again.
"An Alice is a power," Hotaru said simply. Her eyes were diverted.
Mikan looked at Hotaru. "So?"
"Theoretically, you can get your Alice back."
Mikan's eyes widened once again. "I can? But how?"
Hotaru refused to speak, keeping her eyes on the grass. Seeing as his sister wasn't going to speak, Subaru spooe up. "... You can get your Alice back-"
"At the price of my life," Mikan interrupted as she realized what Hotaru tried to say.
Hotaru nodded stiffly.
"So let me get this straight: I could gain my Alices back, but momentarily. Then, we could use those Alices to nullify, steal, and then insert the Alices in alternate universes at the price of my life. Including parallel worlds too?" Mikan asked.
Subaru and Hotaru were surprised. "I'm shocked that you know about parallel worlds, Mikan," Hotaru said, sounding mildly impressed.
Mikan pouted. "Just because I'm not the smartest-" Hotaru snorted, "-doesn't mean I don't know some things. So parallel worlds count too, right? Past and present included?"
Hotaru and Subaru nodded.
"Then let's do it."
Hotaru firmly stated, "No. Are you trying to throw away your li-"
"I am not," Mikan said equally firmly. "I–Hotaru. If you knew that you could change the world for the better, would you do it?"
"So you're doing it for heroics? You-"
"I'm not!" Mikan yelled, losing her temper. Subaru watched quietly with mild interest. "Think about what I could do. I could prevent this from ever happening. I could prevent people from getting injured. I could prevent all of the pain and agony caused by the ESP and I could prevent people from dying because of what happened."
With that, Hotaru narrowed her eyes. "You're doing this for him."
"I'm not!" Mikan quickly denied yet again. Seeing Hotaru's glare, Mikan deflated. "Okay, so maybe I am. But it's also for everybody else. Kids wouldn't have to be taken by the academy anymore. They would live normally— not outcasts from society, just because their capabilities are beyond what is considered 'normal'. I want to change things."
There was a ring of finality and determination in Mikan's voice. Hotaru stared at her for a bit longer, then she sighed. "You do know this can take your life? No... it will take your life."
"I... I know that. But I will change things," Mikan repeated. Her hazel eyes were a bit lighter in color and she seemed to stand up straighter. The new 'theory' had somehow revived Mikan to being her old, personable self within moments.
"I still won't allow you to do it."
"Allow me?" Mikan said. She was practically seething with anger. "You can't not allow me to do anything, Hotaru!"
Subaru seemed to be surprised. It was maybe the first time Mikan had blown up at Hotaru with such intensity. Sure, she occasionally used sarcasm or would make indirect rude gestures, but never had the brunette blown her top off at his sister. Never.
"I can and I will," Hotaru snapped back coldly.
Mikan glared at her, and Hotaru glared right back. Neither looked like they were going to back down anytime soon.
Suddenly, Mikan seemed to crumble. "Just let me do this," she whispered. "I don't know what kind of life I'll have when I go back to my grandpa's home. I know that it's not my home anymore, and he probably knows it too. I've been gone for more than two years and just going back out of nowhere would be..."
"It's still better than losing your life, idiot Mikan!" Hotaru snarled, her voice fierce.
"Is it?! Is it really?! Because, no, Hotaru, it's not. To me, sacrificing myself would be better than going back to my grandpa, knowing that when I could've done something, I didn't. I also know that, for you, it will be a thousand times worse." Hotaru's eyes widened in shock and disbelief for Mikan's words were the truth.
Softly, Mikan continued. "Hotaru, I know that if I alter another universe, this one won't be changed. But you need to stop thinking of how you would feel and start thinking about how everyone who died or suffered would feel. How I would feel," Mikan pleaded.
Several moments of silence elapsed between the group. Mikan held her clenched fists by her side in determination as the violet-eyed girl quavered slightly in trepidation. Hotaru now saw it: she was going to lose Mikan. She was going to lose her best friend. Being the brunette's best friend, she saw all of the signs: the jut of Mikan's jaw, the quivering of her legs, the reddening of her ears. She would never give in. For once, Hotaru Imai had lost.
"There's no getting you out of this, is there?" she said finally.
"Yeah."
Hotaru sighed. "I have no choice, but I won't let you do this alone. Let's go."
"Go? Go where?" Mikan asked.
Hotaru sighed again, but this time in exasperation instead of resignation. "You do realize that the teachers will most likely try to prevent this?"
Mikan bit her lip then nodded. "Where do we go?"
Hotaru turned to Subaru, who also sighed and proceeded to point to the high school division.
"There," Subaru said. "It's the most secluded place there is and therefore, the most reasonable place to do this."
The two girls nodded and they all walked off to the large building.
After making the short journey, they finally settled in Subaru's large dorm and slipped inside, putting the box on his bed, which laid between a window and the balcony. Mikan looked around for a second, impressed. It was the standard Special Star dorm: double doors, a closet to the side, a small window on the opposite side, a balcony with a few chairs, and a table that had a great view of the courtyard.
When Mikan stepped towards the floor-to-wall windows of the balcony, she gasped and ran outside, grabbing the white railing and leaning forward. Since Special dorms were always on the top, she could see almost everything that Alice Academy had to offer.
The wind gently picked up her tawny strands as she gazed down at the view. Hundreds of students milled about below, passing through beautiful gardens or sitting under the swaying shade of trees. People laughed and chatted; but many also sat staring in despair at the sky.
The brunette's heart clenched tightly as she knew most of their thoughts.
Why did this have to happen to me?
Who's at fault?
What could I have done to help?
Her hands clenched tightly around the rail as her resolve fortified itself, her once sprightly hazel eyes hardening into determination.
She would make their pain go away. She would heal the wounds that she had created.
"Come on, idiot Mikan. We don't have much time."
Mikan breathed in the fresh air before reluctantly going to close the window. As they were about to close shut, Subaru's hand clasped around her wrist, halting her actions. She looked up at him, curious. The older boy shook his head and just jerked his head towards Hotaru in a barely noticeable motion, letting a slight smile grace his face as he did so.
Mikan blinked at him for a second before smiling widely back at him. She thought his smile looked a bit sad and inwardly frowned. Before she could pursue her thoughts on why that might be, Hotaru spoke again, her monotone voice tinted with annoyance.
"Come on, dummy."
Subaru released her wrist and Mikan ran towards the box, her breath coming a little quicker than usual when she reached it. 'Why is this dorm so big?!' she thought in her head. She shook her head to clear her thoughts and took a deep breath.
She needed to be absolutely focused if she was to be successful with the transfer.
"First, you press this button," Hotaru said, pointing to the first black button on the side.
Mikan pressed it tentatively, like it would blow up in her face if she pressed it wrong. The button made the box turn a shade darker, then went back to its normal, shiny, white form.
"Then release it and place your hands on the box."
Mikan did, taking another breath in an attempt to calm her racing heart. A pure orange glow in a perfect circle rippled across the box from where her hands touched it, but it went unnoticed by the brunette as she looked at Hotaru for more instructions.
"Picture all the Alices in the world and think of it as a substance. Then picture your own Alices and imagine using your Alices to put it into this box. Closing your eyes might help."
Mikan took another deep breath, closed her eyes and pictured the Alices as a black, gel-like substance and her own Alices, an orange glob, being fused with the other Alices and disappearing in a flash into the white box.
Slowly but surely, the faint orange light from the box moved smoothly across from the box to Mikan's hands. With each passing second, the glow became stronger and brighter as it slowly enveloped her. The light moved over the girl's legs, torso, and arms before finally covering her head.
Hotaru and Subaru shaded their eyes with their hands while squinting, attempting to escape the piercing glare. In a split second, all the light was gone as if it was sucked out and inserted into the box. It rose a few feet and glowed for a millisecond before clattering onto the floor. At the same time, Mikan crumpled to the ground, seemingly spent and exhausted.
"Mikan!" Hotaru cried, raising her voice.
The two Imai siblings ran forward at the same time. They reached Mikan's side within seconds, kneeling next to her limp form. Mikan knew that her face was pale, completely drained of blood, and that her eyes were glazed over and unfocused.
Out of habit, Subaru put his hands on Mikan's face, trying to heal her with his Alice. After a moment of nothing happening, he retreated his hands and sat down on the wooden floor.
"Hotaru... I feel really sleepy.." Mikan mumbled, her eyes fluttering.
As she spoke, she saw images of her beloved friends flash before her eyes, almost like regrets. Two boys with dirty blond hair and glinting, mischievous eyes peered at her. She could see them relentlessly teasing her, always calling her dumb or an idiot, but always in a joking manner. They had pulled countless of pranks on her, but it only served to make her more determined. In that way, she had won them over, astounded by her resolve.
Hotaru glared at her through her tears. She grasped Mikan's hand tightly like it was she that was dying, not Mikan. "Don't you dare close your eyes."
"But Hotaru..." It seemed that Mikan was going to whine to Hotaru until the very end.
"If you do, I'll never forgive you," Hotaru said, her voice cracking a little despite her efforts to keep calm. She cleared her throat and spoke again. "Don't close your eyes," she repeated.
As Koko's and Kitsuneme's laughs faded, another sound replaced it. It was a girl with permed, green hair scorning her, but she could hear the smile in the girl's voice. The voice grew clearer, and so did the image. Permy, she and her friends often called the girl, was glaring at Mikan through tears, hating herself because she showed weakness. It was back when Narumi had announced that Mikan was going to leave the academy, and many had cried at the news. Although it took a while, Mikan had gained Permy's trust gradually, until she was sure Permy was her friend.
No, not Permy, Mikan reminded herself. Sumire Shouda was her name, a beautiful girl with sparkling green eyes.
Subaru walked out silently, feeling as if he was intruding on something important. Something that belonged solely to his sister.
"Hey, Hotaru..." Mikan whispered.
Loud, boisterous, unbridled laughter reached her ears. The sound became clearer and clearer as seconds passed by, and Mikan could identify it as her two senpais' laughs, Tsubasa and Misaki. She knew the two were perfect for each other, and words couldn't describe the elation she felt when she heard news of them finally getting together as a couple. It seemed as if everybody but the two knew that they had feelings for each other, and it was quite amusing to watch their story play out.
Mikan could remember the admiration in Tsubasa's navy wells as he would gaze at Misaki's cardinal red hair. The brunette couldn't help but to laugh weakly as she recalled how Misaki had done the same: practically burning a hole in Tsubasa's navy mop of hair with her matching red eyes. That was when she had finally concluded that the two were indeed in love and that yes, Tsubasa was dense.
"What?" Hotaru replied quickly, trying to keep her talking.
"Can you... forgive me?" Mikan asked, looking at Hotaru through half-lidded eyes.
The pink and blue-haired teens went farther and farther away, until Mikan couldn't see them anymore. Then a new image took its place, one with lots of vibrant colors. Wavy, bubblegum pink and stick-straight, midnight blue hair. An image of her two girl friends, Anna and Nonoko, broke through the darkness. The two were practically inseparable, always seen as a pair. They were two of the few students that didn't make fun of Mikan when she first arrived. They were accepting and gentle, not caring about her reputation or her status, being nice to her just because they were kind like that. Soft, ocean blue and dark, indigo eyes twinkled as the two smiled at her.
Hotaru stared at her friend for a second before scoffing. "I'll forgive you after you live."
Hearing Hotaru's cold voice, it reminded Mikan of her small friend, Youichi. As if inspired by her thoughts, the next image was that of the three year-old boy. He was a lot like him, of that there was no mistake. Both were cold and quiet, speaking barely a few words at a time. Although he acted that way, Youichi began to warm up to Mikan slowly, eventually thinking of her as his big sister. Because he protected her, clung to her, and even cheered her up, she also thought of him as a brother. The image began to dissipate from her mind, and her last thought of Youichi was, It would be nice if he really was my little brother.
"We both know... that I'm not going to. You said it... yourself..." Mikan let her eyes close. "So forgive me... please?"
Hotaru scoffed again. "Whatever, she muttered.
"You sound like... N-Natsume," Mikan said. She felt like she was speaking through a ball of cotton. It was getting harder and harder to speak as every second passed. Even so, she managed to laugh a little. "He's going... to kill me after he sees me."
A handsome blond who always been there, encouraging to continue her steps no matter the obstacles, began to materialize within her mind. She could remember how when he heard her laugh instead of cry, his cerulean blue orbs would glimmer in the suns' rays like that of the ocean. He was always so cheerful and even though he was a bit of a worry wart, Ruka knew how to stand before an enemy with unwavering courage.
Ruka's face began to dissolve from Mikan's mind as her best friend's face overtook it. Violet eyes glanced sideways at Mikan with a small, elegant smile gracing the maiden's lips. Hotaru was stoic and blunt and cold, just like him. She was also lazy - inventing things that made mundane tasks easier to do -, an expert blackmailer - logical to the point it could be funny but it wasn't -, seemingly detached, and extremely threatening. Yet, that was what made Hotaru herself.
"Isn't that obvious, dummy?" Hotaru smiled. It was barely a smile, just her lips lifting the slightest millimeter upwards, but it was still a smile nonetheless.
Hotaru's image faded, leaving behind a cute scene. Mikan could see Hotaru and Ruka sitting on a bench together, having a one-sided argument about blackmail. Though to most people Hotaru seemed like she was a robot with no emotions, Mikan wasn't like most people and she knew her best friend better than anyone. She could see how Hotaru's lips tilted upwards at the smallest angle. She could see how Hotaru's violet orbs were more lively than ever, even when she talked about her inventions or money.
Mikan knew that Hotaru really did love Ruka.
"You should... smile more... I'm sure... that Ruka-pyon... will like it..." Mikan mumbled. The tiredness was almost heavy, pressing on her body. She just felt so tired. She wanted to let go, to let the darkness take her.
"Ruka?"
"Yeah."
The picture grew dim yet again, but was swapped by another image. It was a picture of a boy, one with stormy, crimson eyes and short eyebrows, shadowed by flowing, raven-black hair. It was a picture of the boy she loved, Natsume Hyuuga. He was cold, blunt, rebellious - the exact polar opposite of Mikan. But he was also intelligent- he could be called a genius - and he was caring, gentle, kind, and willing to suffer in order to protect those he loved. In that sense, he shared those last few characteristics with her, along with the fact that they were easy to anger. It was because of that many fights and arguments broke out between the two. In spite of that, she would change nothing about him.
"Stupid Mikan. You're muttering weird stuff again," Hotaru said, barely choking out the words.
One last picture came to mind. She saw herself surrounded by her friends, laughing as they pulled a prank on a grumpy math teacher named Jinno. They were all smiling, happiness gleaming in their eyes. They were all different, with multicolored hair and eyes, personalities ranging from stoic to troublesome to snappy. But that was okay. They were her friends and she would change nothing.
"Sure... Hey, Hotaru... I realized something..."
"What?"
She regretted nothing. She realized that the images and flashbacks were gifts, given to the ones controlling her fate high up above. It was a present, a 'thank-you' as she departed from this world. Realizing that, she smiled, her true and pure smile that everybody loved.
Mikan squeezed Hotaru's hand tightly and opened her eyes to meet Hotaru's wet eyes. "There's always hope..."
With that, Mikan's grip on Hotaru's hand lessened until it wasn't there at all, slipping out of Hotaru's hand as it fell to the cold floor. Her face was serene, peaceful. It was almost like she was sleeping, but Hotaru knew otherwise. Her skin slowly became cold. Hotaru gazed at her best friend, anger, frustration, and depression written all over her elegant face. Her lips set in a thin line, she brushed away the few strands of hair that fell on the brunette's face.
Hotaru had a belief that everything could be explained scientifically. She understood that quick anger was due to adrenaline, a fight or flight response to major problems. Anger was just the 'fight' part. She understood that it was normal for people to be sad and when they were, they cried. It didn't help anything, but it was just a normal response.
That was what she did. Tears pricked her eyes and she let them fall, not caring if someone was watching. She knew it didn't help anything but she allowed it to happen anyway. It was a normal response after all. Later, she could get her emotions in check, but not yet. She just had to let them loose.
Sakurano Shuuichi, a friend of Subaru and the former wielder of the Teleportation Alice, had heard Hotaru's cry and barged out of his room, looking for Subaru. Sakurano found him standing outside his dorm, his iridescent violet eyes downcast.
It didn't take long for the news to travel and soon, almost everybody was standing outside of Subaru's dorm - crying their eyes out, yelling at Mikan, asking why she had to die, and crying all the more harder when they saw Hotaru Imai, the legendary Ice Queen, with silent tears streaming.
Hotaru didn't make a sound, and that was what made people bawl to near hysterics. The silent things are always felt with the heart. That's why people who are close to each other can seem to communicate with their eyes. That's why a kiss is silent. That's why a person laughing hard looked like they were just vibrating.
When people are truly sad, they cry silently, not letting anyone hear their heart and soul keening, tears full of loss and pain.
Long after Mikan had died and was given a funeral that took place in a magical bear's cabin, the last words that Mikan spoke were still ringing in Hotaru's ears.
"There's always hope."
Hotaru sat up in the soft, green grass, wiping off the small sheen of sweat that had accumulated on her pale forehead with the back of her dirt-covered hand. Next to Mikan's grave was a freshly covered spot where a red Alice stone resided; others like it could be found in various parts of the academy. It wasn't for the current students that attended though. It was for a time later on - a time far, far away. She smirked, feeling a cheap sense of accomplishment.
Hotaru glanced at the sky. It was clear, free of any clouds, and for some reason, seemed brighter than ever. A breeze swept over the courtyard, but it was warm and gentle. The birds were chirping, the plants were reviving, and Hotaru honestly couldn't find anything wrong - except for the fact the birds were too annoying.
Somehow, she felt that in another world, Mikan was still alive. She might not have any memories of what had happened along the road, but Hotaru thought there was a world where Mikan was exactly the same, more or less.
"There's always hope."
The words reverbrated in Hotaru's mind once more as one last thought flitted in her head. She left the clearing with the grave, a small smile on her lips, violet eyes dancing with what could be called true hapiness.
Hotaru Imai was not an optimistic person. Often times, she simply refused to believe way too optimistic things, which was why Hotaru and Mikan were seen as a strange pair. She always thought that Mikan was naïve, talking about their lives in the future when they weren't even sure of the present.
Although maybe this time...
Perhaps Mikan was right.
