"Are you home Mummy?" Molly Weasley called down the muddy hallway of their hobbit hole. When she heard no reply, she decided to stare out the window, and was surprised to see Gandalf the Grey outside her door. She let him in and suddenly became conscious of her wet, hairy, hobbit feet.
"Excuse me sir, but have you got any fireworks hidden in your trousers?" Molly asked as she attempted to dig a razor out of her purse to shave her feet.
"No, sorry, but I was wondering if you would like to go on an adventure with me! You could come and bite the finger off of Frodo Baggins though! That'd be very fun," Gandalf said.
"I wish I could, but I've got to go back to Hogwarts tomorrow. Winter break's almost over you see," Molly said reluctantly. She wanted to go with Gandalf, but she couldn't miss school, even if the reason was totally awesome.
She was very nervous about the upcoming term at Hogwarts. She had a bit of a crush on Arthur Weasley, but he would never like a hobbit like her.
Then, Gandalf snapped his fingers and turned into his sassy, gay as the fourth of July, alter ego, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. Molly gaped at him as he strutted around her home.
"Ooohhh gurl! You shaved those feet clean!" He exclaimed. Molly blushed and shaved the last bits of ginger hair off of her feet. Dumbledore senpai has noticed me! He is so kawaii.
"Well if it's alright for me to miss a few days of classes I suppose I'll go on an adventure with you!" Molly said happily to Dumbledore/Gandalf.
Suddenly, a giant lion came crashing through her window. It was Rumbleroar! He stood there in all of his glory. Then, suddenly he charged her. They engaged in mortal combat, and in an effort to escape Molly activated her emergency portkey.
She realized that she had materialized in Mount Doom, and she could see Frodo Baggins in the distance. His finger looked so delectable, she just wanted to bite it off. The ring he wore on his finger glistened in the light of the volcano.
She charged at him, and took his finger off in one bite. She then jumped for joy, but miscalculated the trajectory and fell into the volcano. She screamed in sexy terror as she fell into the lava. Voldemort had appeared above her and was laughing his head off as she fell.
And that's why the Weasleys breed like rabbits.
