A/N: This is a little companion drabble/oneshot series to Nowhere Fast, my Naruto SI. You should go read that first if you don't want to get totally lost. Basically, a reviewer on my other story (who I am INSANELY grateful for, they have been so much help) pointed out that the many timeskips in the early chapters of NF could be considered lost opportunities for interesting stories in the life of Keiji and Company. But instead of going back over the entire fic and adding stuff in, I figured this would be a good place to put those stories. In any case, I'll write this on the side when I don't have ideas for Nowhere Fast—and perhaps in the process get some good ideas, or at least get extra practice in writing.

And no, I don't own Naruto.


EIGHT YEARS OLD

Okay, so punching my teacher in the dick wasn't the smartest of moves. It was damn funny, though. Unfortunately, it also landed both Naru-nii and me in detention. Well, unfortunate for THEM. Because Naru-nii was about to start something in our brotherly relationship that would make us both infamous in the village.

"Oh come on, Keiji-nii, it's fun! All we have to do is—"

"For the last time, Naru-nii, I'm not helping you pull pranks on our teacher! What I did was stupid and I shouldn't have done it."

Still hilarious, though. But I have to be the adult here—even if I am physically a kid.

Naru-nii pouted. "Hmph. You're no fun, Keiji-nii. And I had something really cool planned out, too."

This managed to pique my curiosity. Naruto, KID Naruto, the definition of a short-attention spanned problem child, actually planning things out? Yeah, I HAD to know what he had in mind.

"Something cool? Like what?"

"Well, you don't want to help me, soooo..."

Oh, you little jerk. I see what you're doing. But again, I'm the adult.

"Ugh, nevermind. That trick won't work on me—"

The teacher swaggered into the room, a smug grin plastered on his face. "You two brats. You think you're so tough? Well, don't worry, I'll make sure your time in here is as miserable as possible!"

Okay, screw adulthood.

"Tell me everything."


"Lord Third, why do you let him stay in this school? Kami, why do you allow him to stay in the VILLAGE?"

"There are reasons for what I do. But I don't have to tell you about them."

"But my house! The two brats..."

The old man sighed heavily. "Hrm. What has Naruto done now?"

"Not just him, the other one too! They... well, see for yourself!"

The teacher pointed out the window in the direction of his house. Which was now lime green with hot pink polka dots covering it.

The old man turned away from the teacher.

"I will personally reprimand the two of them for their actions. You, on the other hand, need to... go back to your job..."

"Lord Third, are you well?"

The old man didn't turn around, lest the teacher see him struggling to keep from choking on his pipe in laughter.


I've always liked how Sarutobi was a pretty normal guy under the "serious leader" persona. He's like the coolest old man ever.

In case you're wondering, yes, there will be plenty of humor in this fic. I won't forget to add in some sad or heartwarming moments, though—and to be sure, there are plenty of those stories to be told, considering how fast I skipped over the childhood/academy years!