How To Piss Off 2001 Maniacs
(Mayor Buckman)
If you all wanted to know how to really piss off 2001 maniacs here it is. Highly unadvisable if you want to live and even moreso unadvisable if you are a damn yankee. Not much seems to piss off Buckman but when he gets pissed, watch out.
ask him to tell you how he lost his eye. When he does yawn and walk away
Replace all the meat with soy product and announce that everyone is now on a vegan diet
Pop all the tires on the bus when they take the Guts And Glory Jubilee on a road trip. Hide all the spare tires
Say that *Crow* is a better lover than Buckman
Tell Buckman that Granny Boone is preggo with Crow's kid
Tell Buckman that Milk Maid is more attracted to Crow than him. Make sure you tell him that all the young women prefer Crow to him.
When he says suck my Dixie when he's pissed off tell him that he's got nothing to suck. It's a teeny weeny stump at best
Hide all the weapons he uses for fighting. Replace the bullets with blanks
Tell him the South will NEVER rise again. Ever.
Replace all his flags with the northerner flags.
Write "I love Northerners" all over his room and all of the buildings
Out and Out disrespect him
Tell him that the Northerners beat his ass once, and they can and will do it again.
Now doing this will cause Buckman and his merry crew to chase down your stupid ass to kill you in a most unpleasant fashion. The choice of death my include: acid drink, the press, the nail in barrel, electrocution, sawed in half, drawn and quartered etc. or he may just shoot you.
Direct all the northerners away from his jubilee thing
Get a whole bunch of drunken, pissed off Northerners to meet him and then tell them that Buckman wants to kick their asses. Laugh as his crew run away and Buckman stammers a quick apology.
Ask him if he had sexual relations with a certain lamb that belongs to a certain someone in front of that said someone.
Tell him Milk Maiden and the China girl are preggo and that he is the daddy
Get him drunk and dress him in women's attire. Take pictures. Run away. Fast.
a/n: In case you have not seen 2001 Maniacs: Field Of Screams, Crow is the African American that is part of Buckman's community. He is loyal to them despite them treating him at times as a servant, he fights by their side.
Also this is in NO WAY meant to be disrespectful to either side. Its merely a story based upon the 2001 Maniac movies.
Lastly; reviews are welcome, flames like always, will be disposed of in my toilet.
