DISCLAIMER:

Fam basically its a giant Gryffindor house party on a Saturday night in 6th year. Warning: its legit just talking and setting up the scene. Lots of talking, blackinnon, baby jily, drinking and a tiny (im not joking, it's very little) bit of fluff. Might make into a series. (might) #itsallJKR's


EVERYBODY WONT STOP TALKING

(PLEASE MAKE THEM STOP)

FIREWHISKEY AND VODKA

It was no longer warm ago – three days of snow had left the grounds covered in a thick sheet of snow – but the inside of the Gryffindor common room was practically a sauna. Well maybe not a sauna, but certainly a sunny, warm, shade less summer day. This was mostly to do with the fact that the common room was a swirl of people – mostly grinding on each other in an attempt of 'dancing' (a cover word in case your friend starts to wonder if u have a crush on the person YOU CERTAINLY DO NOT LIKE IN ANY WAY WHAT SO EVER BACK OFF SARAH). The stars of our story have nothing to do with Sarah and everything to do with crushes. Naturally, the stars of our story were the life of the party.

James, Peter, Remus and fucking Sirius hadn't planned the raging party – instead, they screamed from the quidditch pitch after (another) victory. The 'organisation' when as transcribed:

Sirius black, on his broom: "FUCK YESSSSSS"

James Potter, high-fiving Sirius: "WE NEED TO CELEBRATE!"

James Potter flies to the Quidditch Stands in front of Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew

Remus Lupin, leaning over the guard rail: "Party?"

James Potter, smiling: "Party."

Peter Pettigrew, who had run from the guard rail to the Commenters Stand, stealing the microphone: "IM NOT SAYING THERE IS GOING TO BE A PARTY PROFESSORS, BUT STUDENTS, IF THERE WAS, IT WOULDVE BEEN AT 8PM. MCKINNON DON'T FORGET YOU OWE ME FIREWHISKEY. ONCE AGAIN, THIS WASN'T AN ANNOUCEMENT SAYING THAT WE ARE HAVING A PARTY BUT THAT WE ARE DEFINITELY NOT HAVING ONE AT 8PM. CHEERS"

Marlene McKinnon, sitting next to Lily Evans: Fucking Peter.

Lily Evans, smirking as she drinks from their shared flask: You don't have to feed his alcohol habits you know.

Marlene McKinnon, sighing, stole back the flask and took a swig: I do if I don't want green hair again.

Lily Evans: Shouldn't have bet against him.

Marlene McKinnon: Yeah, yeah.

So now, after being lectured by every, single, professor at Hogwarts (including Binns because apparently, he doesn't notice if you burst into song in class but if you mention the possibility of a party he won't stop screaming), the party in full motion. Remus had his arms around two 4th year boys, lecturing them about drinking responsibly as he gave him swigs of his firewhiskey between sips of butterbeer. Peter was dancing on a table with an empty bottle of Marlene's finest. Lily was drunkenly trying to teach herself how to dance. James, sat next to Sirius and Marlene, had fallen asleep 20 minutes ago, staring at Lily's swaying hips until he passed out.

"Merlin, is he ever going to stop staring at her?" Marlene said. Her and Sirius had kicked a bunch of 5th years off the couch next to the window because a) they could smoke without the drunk people throwing up at the smell b) it had a good view of the common room and c) it gave them an excuse to sit next to each other. They'd only every admit to the first 2.

Sirius laughed out breath of smoke (it was the same colour as his eyes, Marlene noticed before immediately taking a swig of vodka and ignoring it). "He hasn't since I've known him."

Marlene sighed, throwing her incredibly tan and incredibly chubby legs over Sirius lap (Merlin Sirius, don't think about how good they'd look wrapped around you). Marley had cut her hair a few weeks ago after some Slytherin's had used her ponytail to pull her down in fist-fight. Lily had helped her cut it chin level that night.

"Tell me something good," Marley asked.

It was hard to pick good things these days, Sirius thought. More and more muggles were being "mysteriously" murdered while wizards just ignored the problem. Or worse, supported it. "My cousins' getting married."

"I thought Andy and Ted already got married," Marley said, taking another swig before Sirius stole the bottle. "Hence the disowning."

Mouthful of vodka, Sirius replied, "nah not Andy, Peter's cousin Merida."

"Oh, then why didn't you it was Peters cousin?"

"Because Pete's my brother which makes her my cousin too." There wasn't a bone in his body that didn't believe it. He loved Pete for all his flaws – ability to turn into an animagi first, complaining when there was no hot water left and eating all his Bertie Beans.

Marlene left her cigarette hanging from her red lips when she laughed, "Okay hippie."

"I have no idea what that means," Sirius confessed. "Is it like a Phoney Balony? Lily called me that the other day in Charms, said it meant being cool or something."

Marlene erupted into giggles. (Okay so it doesn't mean being cool, Sirius thought) "Phoney Balony means to be a fucking liar. Merlin I love that you're pure blood."

"Remind me to jinx Evans on Monday."

"I'll write it on your toast."

"You're a blessing McKinnon."

"I'm aware Black."

They watched the party for a while after that. It was intoxicating – both the alcohol in their blood streams and the people. The people, man, they were alive in every sense of the word. Were their senses dulled? 100%. But were they happy? 100%. Music replaced thoughts and they wound around the dance floor, not caring who they danced with, only that they danced and drank and laughed. After a while, everyone just blurred into one and it became impossible to tell everyone apart. They were all one giant being, dancing badly to the beat. Peter loved it, he thought, as he crashed into the couch.

"Have you heard the news?" Pete asked Marlene, leaning (uncomfortably) over Sirius to do so.

"About your cousin?" Marley asked, uncertain.

Peter screwed up his face. "Nah, about Thomas Andrews and Mary McDonald."

"What about them?" Sirius asked. He pulled out another cigarette and gave it to Pete.

Leaning the tip against Sirius', Peter lit his cigarette. He gave his firewhiskey to Sirius and said, "Apparently they just fucked."

"What?!" Marlene and Sirius yelled, scandalised not by the fact that – per common knowledge and not truth – the Thomas and Mary had been virgins until just then.

"Yeah, I know, right. I mean screw whoever you want but probably wasn't the best idea to lose your virginity while being wasted."

"Tom wasn't a virgin." The boys looked at Marlene, not in shock but in annoyance. Marley had been the school whore since 5th year – her antics didn't surprise anyone anymore.

"When did you screw him?" Sirius asked.

"And why didn't you tell us?" Peter asked, earning a high-five from Sirius.

"Okay 1. Chill," Marlene said, stealing a 4th years abandoned butterbeer from the coffee table. "It was in his dorm maybe 3 hours ago. I was gunna tell you when you sobered up Pete, god."

Peter smiled. Sirius did not.

"You went into their dorm?" Sirius had put his hands on her legs. He traced his fingers over her thunder thighs while she laughed uncontrollably. A smile formed on his face. "You went into the other 6th year dorms?! You traitor!"

Threw burst of giggles, Marlene spurted, "Yours's is better. I. swear."

"Can you guys cut out the flirting please, I'm gunna vomit." Peter had somehow gotten a bowl of abandoned chips and was eating them by the handful. Marlene threw herself into the corner as Sirius pulled his hands away.

"Sure it isn't the booze Pete?" Sirius laughed.

"Yup, 100% positive that it's your sexual tension." Drunk Peter was the best Peter.

"How are you gunna survive ur cousins wedding then?" Marlene asked, desperate to dissolve the tension.

"Merlin that's not going to be an issue, don't worry."

"And why not?"

"Because I've read the best man's speech and it literally talks about how while Merida still drawing in crayons, Drew was playing Quidditch."

"Gross," Marley and Siri said in sync.

"Does make you wonder though," Marlene said, "what our husbands and wives are doing right now."

"Oooh I'll play this game!" Remus giggled, throwing his legs around the coffee table so he was straddling it while clutching butterbeer like it was his lifeline.

"Okay Mister," Marlene laughed at Remus' poor attempt to stay upright. "You go first."

"mmmmmm," Remus said, falling forward. He landed so his torso was lying flat on the table, his head turned towards the threesome and his legs still straddling the coffee table - Sirius wished he had Lily's camera. "Sirius will marry a muggle girl who works in the muggle circus as the elephant poop cleaner-up-erer,"

Marlene and Peter burst into laughs while Sirius contemplated putting flubberworms in Remus's bed. But Marlene had other ideas.

"Nah, Sirius is gunna end up an old bachelor who sleeps on Jamie's couch."

"Who's sleeping on my couch?" James asked, pulling himself upright. His already messy hair was even more askew on one side and completely flat on the side he slept on. Cushion imprints finished off his deshelled hungover look. He reached for Peters firewhiskey.

"Sirius when he's old and lonely," Peter replied.

"Cool," James said, throwing back a swig and relaxing into his armchair.

"Well you're going to be alone too Missy. Alone and with a thousand tiny dogs," Sirius blurted, trying not to be flirty but that was asking him to be Sirius Orion Black.

"Cool just give me a coat and call me Cruella De Ville," Marley laughed, pulling the cigarette packet out of Sirius' jacket. Chain smoking and drinking went hand-in-hand for Miss Cruella De Ville.

"YEEESSSS!" Remus laughed and tried to give Marley a high-five but considering that he was lying down and drunk, it looked more like he was trying to do sign language to the Giant Squid.

The others looked puzzled but considering they didn't know and Remus did – well it meant that it was probably muggle and that was enough for them.

"Do me!" Peter demanded.

"Pete's gunna marry a healer," James said, certain and finite. It left no room for argument.

"Care to give us an explanation champ?" Sirius asked.

"Seemed more plausible than a vet." James smirking a little, shattering his whole façade. The other three marauders burst into laughter at a hidden joke that drunk them found hilarious. Marley did not.

"Moving on." She demanded.

"Remus's wife is gunna be like 20 years older than him," Peter suggested. "Ooh! She'll be his instructor in the ministry!"

"And she'll instruct him on more than how to be great in the office," Sirius winked. James giggled.

"Nah, I bet you that Remus is the actual cougar," Marlene said.

"Oh I like it," Peter smiled.

"I bet you his wife is learning how to write her name in crayons right now," Marlene explained.

"Love, that would make him Andy's daughters age," James explained, handing Marley his drink.

"Even better if it WAS Andy's daughter," Peter added, giggling. Remus gagged.

"Are we not going to do me?" James leaned back, smirking.

"We already know what Lily is doing," Remus said, his eyelids drooping.

Speaking of the devil (yes, devil, don't let the gorgeous red hair and dazzling green eyes and adorable little freckles and shit focus Potter), Lily had waltzed over and leaned on the arm of James chair.

"What am I doing?" Lily drawled. She giggled as she half tripped, half jumped into James' lap. James should've been breathing but he didn't, instead he was laughing and grabbing the bottle from Lily's hands.

"You're going to bed," James said sweetly, brushing some of the hair from Lily's face. She never would have let him do this sober. He knew it. She knew it. Everyone around them knew it. But they let him do it, because in the morning she'd only remember the feeling of his fingers against her ear and how her stomach did flips. And how those flips resulted in vomit in James's lap. And on Peter's arm as they carried her up the stairs. And on her own bedspread. Yeah, it wasn't pretty.