Can You Feel My Heart?
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Nor do I own the song of the same title by 'Bring Me The Horizon'
Can you feel my heart?
It was a calm night in the middle of August. The Land of Fire was especially suffering from the warm weather, yet his heart felt as frozen as the tallest peek of the Land of Snow. He could hear his beating heart yet he couldn't help but think that it might break at a moment's notice. His heart of rock that crumbled at each beat but built another barrier around it stronger and firmer. His heart that he knew had long lost its compassion and love, that he knew could no longer feel happiness nor sadness. His heart that was weakening with each breath he took. His frozen heart. His heart of rock. But still his heart.
Can you hear the silence?
The silence was engulfing the forest in a relaxing calm only interrupted by the sporadic howl of a wolf or the cry of some owl. However he could hear the voices and agonizing yells of his family. Forgive me father, He could hear their shrieks and their pained gasps for air as their chest filled with blood. I'm sorry brothers, He could hear their supplies for help and mercy. So sorry lover, He could hear their heart beating for the last time before stopping abruptly, as if giving up the fight against the Shinigami. I love you mother. He could hear their prayer and their hopes, their regrets and their dreams. He could hear as they gave their last breath. He even could hear as their eyelids closed for the last time in an eternal sleep.
Thud.
The moon shot its bright light, illuminating the whole land in a silvery glow, yet he felt himself drowning in a lake of pure darkness. He felt as if there were no escape. His own life was his prison. His only light in the darkness disappeared behind the ghastly presence of a snake he failed to kill. He submerged in darkness. A black abyss surrounding his entire being. His movement were lazy as if he was moving in a river that was trying to drown him. He no longer could move freely. He had walked through cement that had now dried and stopped him from freeing himself. He was stuck forever in an encompassing darkness that was now his sole companion. He had become part of the darkness. He was no longer human. He was the darkness and the darkness was him.
Can you see the dark?
He was broken beyond repair. And nothing in this world held him back but his regrets. He was haunted by the voices of his family, by the last images of their dismembered corpses. He would forever see their horrified faces whenever it was too dark. He would forever see their despair and their disappointment whenever he closed his eyes. He would forever see their resentment and their misery behind his eyelids. His ears would forever hear their cries and their yells. Their anguished screams and their hollow shouts would forever plague his days and nights as if they were background music to his life. He would forever be tortured by their distress and their pain. A torment that would never end until his death.
Can you fix the broken?
He just wanted for everything to end. He wanted silence and darkness. He wanted to cry and shout, to bleed out everything he's ever done. He wanted to forget everything. He wanted to start anew. He wanted to start over. He wanted to be forgiven. He wanted his mother's soft hands ruffling his hair. He wanted to hear his father's rough voice correcting him. He wanted to hear his little brother's squeaky voice asking for training. He wanted to sleep in his own bed, in his own house, in his own village. He wanted his family's presence and his clan's gossip. He wanted to smell the restaurant's special Tempura. He wanted to start over. He wanted to hope again. To dream again. To believe again.
Can you help the hopeless?
He was tired of life. He was tired of surviving each day. He was tired of waiting for his death. He was tired of hoping his brother came to him before his own body killed him. He was tired of everything.
I long for that feeling to not feel at all.
-0-0-0-
Hi the world!
A little piece to give some insight on Itachi's thoughts after the massacre. His dark moments of hopelessness. I guess I just wanted to try my hand writing something angsty and voilĂ the result. Though personally I'm not a big fan of angst, my poor heart can't handle the pressure. Seriously. But I guess the song has been playing again and again in my head and you know that thought that refuses to leave you alone until you do what it wants? Yeah, this is that pesky thought.
Tell me in what you think. Good? Bad? Amazing? Awful?
sharkswillruledaWORLD is out :)
