DISCLAIMER: Unfortunately, I do not own Akatsuki or the Death Eaters no matter how much I wish for it.

Knock. Knock.

"What is this, un?"

"What does it look like brat? It's a cabinet."

"But why is it here, hmm? And what is that scroll for?"

"Don't touch the scroll if you don't want Kakuzu to rip you a new one."

The blonde shinobi immediately pulled back his hand. But the young shinobi hadn't had enough of questioning his partner.

"Say danna, why would that greedy zombie buy this useless cabinet and a scroll?"

Sasori looked up from the puppet he was mending. The brat did make sense. The cabinet in question, was made of old wood that the puppet master would never use in making his prized puppets. The handle on its door was made up of brass that needed cleaning. The cabinet itself was dusty, the wood chipping off and looked like a waste of space. Unless Kakuzu wanted to lock his loud, foul-mouthed partner inside, the shoe box cabinet didn't seem to have any other significant use.

Deidara was still checking out the box when the treasurer of the Akatsuki cleared his throat at the door.

The blonde jumped away from the box and gave Kakuzu a sheepish grin.

"Hey, Kakuzu senpai, un!"

Kakuzu ignored the chirpy blonde like he always did and walked towards the cabinet. He reached out for the scroll, two pairs of curious eyes watching him (one subtly and the other not so much). He opened the scroll in a timely fashion, something that irked Sasori, and smirked as Deidara fell face first on the floor trying to crane his neck. The bomber groaned, the puppet master snorted and the money lover smiled evilly.

"What is that, un?" Deidara, who had finally picked himself up, asked.

Kakuzu didn't hear him or ignored him like he always did. He went on reading the scroll while ignoring the blonde's groans and whining.

Finally, he rolled the scroll back to its original form, pocketed it and walked out the room as if the past fifteen minutes never happened.

But before Kakuzu left the room, he did say these words:

"Don't enter the cabinet."

Now Deidara could rival a certain blonde leaf shinobi when it came to rebelling against the rules they need to follow. Deidara had an evil smile, not as sinister as Kakuzu's but evil nonetheless, as he eyed the wooden cabinet.

"Don't even think about it brat."

Sasori, who spent half of his time on his puppets and his entire time with his bomber partner, knew enough (or had seen enough) to advise Deidara against whatever he was scheming.

"I wasn't think-"

"You had that creepy smile."

"No I-"

"Yes you did."

"Hey now-"

"Shut up, brat. Go out this room and blow something up."

Deidara narrowed his eyes and was about to question the puppeteer when the latter added.

"Anything that doesn't belong to me, Kakuzu, Itachi, Kisame, Zetsu, Leader-sama or Konan."

"So I can blow up Hidan?"

"He belongs to Kakuzu."

The blonde rolled his eyes but walked out the room. Sasori sighed. He would have to keep a better eye on the blonde.

Itachi was sitting at his desk, sipping coffee and reading a book on fishes. Kisame was sitting in one corner, talking to Samahada because that is what one does when they have a silent partner like the Sharingan user.

Their peace was disturbed by a deafening blast. It wasn't hard to predict who was responsible but curiosity peaked in the two shinobis to know who the target-

"FUCK YOU! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING, YOU FUCKING BLONDIE?"

Yeah. Nevermind.

Itachi rolled his eyes and went back to his reading while Kisame chuckled. Sometimes he wished for a partner like Deidara and Hidan who talked and blabbered and acted like human beings. But he immediately dismissed the idea when he saw the irritated looks on their partners face. Still, he wished for a partner who would at least talk normally.

Another loud crash, a few swear words and Itachi snapped his book shut. Kisame gulped as the Uchiha now had his sharingan activated.

Run Hidan. Run Deidara. The shark man thought as his partner led himself out the door.

Following quickly behind, Kisame saw the living room of the base was totally destroyed. He also noted that Hidan's room didn't have a door and there was white smoke emerging from the room.

"What is going on here?"

Hidan and Deidara stopped their shenanigans and turned to the speaker. Now the room accommodated the partners of the respective ninjas.

"This fucking blondie disturbed my fucking ritual! I'll fucking sacrifice his fucking ass!"

Hidan pointed at Deidara because that is what a grown up shinobi does in the presence of a pissed off Uchiha and a zombie partner.

Deidara growled. "Sasori no danna told me I could blow up anything. I didn't know you were in that room doing your fucking rituals, un!"

"I told you not to blow the belongings of myself, Kakuzu, Itachi, Kisame, Zetsu, Leader-sama or Konan. Get your information correct brat." Sasori glared at Deidara.

Deidara jumped up like a whiny toddler and angrily pointed at the door. "I blew the door, un!"

"That door belongs to Hidan's room which is in the base which is paid for by Kakuzu. Hence it was Kakuzu's possession."

Deidara went on to speak but was silenced by Itachi's Sharingan glare.

Kakuzu chuckled. Itachi's sharingan vanished as he turned to look at the zombie. All of them did. His chuckle wasn't out of amusement. It was dark, sinister.

"The two of you will pay for the damages."

Hidan and Deidara gulped.

"Come with me."

Kakuzu led them to the room where the box laid. Kakuzu was grinning behind his mask. He had finally found the "test subjects" (hopefully he didn't sound like Orochimaru). He was hoping the blonde would go against his warnings but Sasori drained out his original plan. But Deidara managed to land himself back into the little trap Kakuzu was weaving. He even managed to drag Hidan into it.

Hidan and Deidara both knew they had a choice. Do as Kakuzu says or face Leader- sama. Both would do as Kakuzu says any day over facing a pissed off Pein. And Konan who had actually put effort in decorating the living room.

Itachi, Kisame and Sasori followed the trio, curious as to what punishment Kakuzu would serve the two. Sasori's suspicion grew stronger as Kakuzu pulled out the scroll from earlier and opened it.

"Get in the box."

Deidara's eyes widened. He looked at Sasori for help. The latter just shrugged as he grew as curious as his puppet cat that no one knew about.

Kakuzu grew impatient. "Get in." He growled.

The blonde and the loud mouth jumped in, fearing the rage of the Taki nin.

Kakuzu smiled as the two sweated and closed the door.

"Now, off you go on an adventure."

He performed some hand signs and slammed his right hand on the open scroll.

Itachi waited. Kisame waited. Sasori waited. Kakuzu swore that if it didn't work, he would rip the ninja ,who sold him the box with promises of it working, and sew him back together only to rip him off again. Kakuzu never spend his money on worthless stuff.

He rose from his knees and opened the door of the cabinet.

Itachi gasped. Kisame gasped. Sasori ga- narrowed his eyes at the now giggling zombie.

"What did you do?"

Never had he been so happy about spending his bounty money.