My offering for the dwsecretsanta exchange over on tumblr. The lovely roseinthevoid requested "Spy/espionage AU, where Rose and the Doctor are secret agents of some sort who are forced to work together. Bonus points if there's some initial confusion and they don't quite understand each other's methods!" so that's what this is :D I hope you like it, dear!
This will probably be two or three chapters :)
"No," he said, shaking his his head. "No, this is not going to work at all."
"John, it's our best option. Can you at least pretend to consider it?" Romana asked, exasperation coloring her voice. She'd known he would be resistant to her proposition but she hadn't expected him to dismiss it out of hand.
"No. This is insane. You can't expect to just give me a new partner and send the two of us on a mission the next day with no prep or time to figure out if we can even work with each other," John retorted. He was pacing Romana's office, having gotten to his feet when she attempted to broach the topic at hand.
"The buyer is expecting you particularly."
"And I'll be there, just not with this 'Rose' that you seem intent on foisting on me."
Romana sighed, resisting the strong urge to roll her eyes. John was a friend and one of her best assets but he was impossibly stubborn at times. "The buyer is expecting you to come with your partner, a blonde woman. He's heard stories from others, apparently, that tell of how you're usually accompanied by a pretty, blonde companion." Romana waited until he met her gaze before commenting dryly, "You have developed a type, it seems."
"Two hardly constitutes a type," John protested. He flopped down artlessly in one of the chairs in front of Romana's desk. "Speaking of which, isn't Charley or Lucie available for this mission? I know I can work with them."
"Your demands to work almost exclusively with one of them on missions requiring a partner is why you have a reputation for having a blonde on your arm."
"Come on, Romana, you know it's not like that with them," he said, hearing her insinuations building with every comment.
She just gave him a hard look until he started talking again.
"Alright, fine, it was like that with Charley for a bit but that's over now. Lucie and I have always just been friends and that's how it will always stay."
"That's all fine and good but Charley's liaising with another agency for the foreseeable future and Lucie's on another assignment and won't be available for at least another two months. This mission is a matter of some urgency, as you well know." She pinned him with a glare. "You're going to go on this assignment with Rose because I am ordering you to and I'm in charge."
"You enjoy telling me that far too much," he grumbled.
"Maybe you should actually start listening," she shot back. "Maybe then I wouldn't have to remind you of it so often."
"Then where would you get your entertainment from?" John drawled out, lazy smile on his face.
Romana knew he was faking it, could still read tension and displeasure in the tautness of his muscles and lines of his face even as he affected a boneless sprawl and carefree smile. He'd do what she ordered him to do but he was not going to make it easy on anyone.
"I'm sure I'd figure it out."
"So, when am I going to meet this thorn in my side?" John asked when it became apparent that Romana was not going to dismiss him anytime soon.
Romana bit back a smile. "I'd advise you not to make any Rose-related puns where she can hear you."
"She not find them funny?"
"She'd probably deck you."
"I'll take my chances. I don't think I can work with someone who doesn't enjoy puns," he said.
It was getting more difficult with every word he said for Romana not to roll her eyes. If it wasn't unprofessional she would have done so ten times already. "Lucie groaned at more than half of your puns."
"That's appreciation at its finest."
"This is probably why I have a list of assets that refuse to work with you," Romana sighed.
"There's a list?" John asked, perking up. "Why have people requested to be put on it? And how?"
"You're not going to put Rose on the list just to get out of working with her."
"I really do want to know how one gets on this list," he pushed.
"Later," Romana said, already regretting divulging its existence.
"Fine. You never did answer me as to when I'm meeting this partner." John pronounced the last word like it was vile.
Romana had just opened her mouth to tell him off again, to remind him that working with Rose was necessary and he was going to do it whether he liked it or not, when there was a knock at the door.
Before Romana could call out an answer, the door swung open and a blonde in a pink top and form-fitting jeans stormed into the room.
"What do you mean you're assigning me a mission that I leave on tomorrow with a partner I've never met? I just got back from New York yesterday, Romana!"
John watched with interest as the blonde was waved her mobile around while speaking, apparently having been informed of her mission via text or email if she hadn't had a chance to give Romana an earful already.
Honestly, he could appreciate anyone who waltzed into the Director of Operations for the entire agency's office and started yelling. He'd done it a time or two himself.
Romana rubbed at her temples. These two were honestly going to be the death of her. She chanced a glance at John and saw the small smile playing across his face. He obviously hadn't pieced everything together yet if he was still amused.
This should be fun.
"I'm aware that you just got back but I need you on this mission. You're the best asset for the job and we can't afford it going wrong," she started, well aware that she was going to be interrupted.
"You haven't even told me who my partner is. You know I don't like breaking in new partners on short notice," the blonde huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. She hadn't once looked in John's direction and Romana wasn't sure she'd even noticed his presence.
"Well, he's experienced so you don't have to worry about that aspect overly much," she hedged.
"Just tell me who he is so I can get in touch with him and start planning things."
"He's right here, sitting around distracting me from my work while he complains." Romana gestured to John whose smile had rapidly disappeared as he sat bolt upright in the chair. "Rose Tyler, meet John Edwards."
Rose finally turned to take a look at the man she'd vaguely registered as being in the room. John almost felt insulted by the way she flicked her eyes over him twice before turning back to Romana, unimpressed look on her face.
"No. You're not pairing me off at the last minute with someone who has a reputation of not working well with others," she said, crossing her arms again and thrusting her chin out stubbornly.
"I'm right here you know," John snipped, irked at her immediate dismissal. "No need to talk about me like I'm not in the room."
Rose turned on him and Romana's comment about Rose decking him flashed through his mind. The woman in front of him definitely looked capable of delivering a punch and more than willing to give it a try.
"I'd rather not talk to you at all, ta," she said with a sickly sweet smile. "You don't play well with others and I'd rather not risk working with you and getting a black mark next to my name because you complain about me when we get back."
"You planning on doing something that would warrant me complaining?" John shot back, deliberately leaning back in his chair to look like this conversation wasn't bothering him.
"Not specifically but you always find something to complain about when you're forced to work with someone and I'm not going to put up with your shit."
John surged to his feet and took a step towards the fuming blonde. "Has it occurred to you that I'm not any happier being assigned to work with you than you are to be assigned to me? I don't want to work with someone new."
"Well that makes two of us. Maybe you should go on your own."
"With pleasure," he drawled. He turned back to Romana and gave her a look that communicated that he thought he was right and that he had won whatever argument he thought they were having.
"Neither of you are getting out of it. We don't have anyone else who can go on such short notice and the mark is expecting John specifically," Romana explained.
"That doesn't mean I have to go with him," Rose cut in.
Romana kept talking, ignoring Rose's statement. "Not only is he expecting John, he's expecting him to show up with a blonde female."
The blonde in question's eyes caught fire. "So not only am I being stuck with someone I don't want to work with, you're tellin' me I'm just supposed to be arm candy?"
"No, you're going to work, just like he is. If the buyer thinks you're arm candy then it'll just make the job easier."
Rose muttered something under her breath that neither John nor Romana caught.
"Are you sure I have to have a partner?" John tried, just one more time.
"Yes," the director answered, a note of finality in her voice. "Now the two of you need to quit cluttering up my office, I have work to do. The details of your assignment will be sent to you shortly, until then, John please bring Rose up to speed on what you know."
They both stared at her, disbelief plain on their faces. She suppressed yet another sigh. "Leave. Now. You can come back and complain later when I'm not busy."
Romana watched as they silently turned their backs on her and left the room, both of them still tense with anger. When the door closed she rubbed her temples, smiling softly. She'd been looking for a good reason to get Rose and John working together. John would actually be able to keep up with Rose and vice versa, which was hard for most of her agents to do. Plus, she had a feeling that Rose could more than handle John and his ego and quirks and that took a special kind of person.
If they could get over their animosity, she felt like they could be the best partners the organization had ever seen, maybe even the world. She couldn't wait to see how it played out.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Once they were outside Romana's office, John and Rose just looked at each other for a moment, neither really knowing where to start.
"Well, I'm starved so why don't we go get food before you start briefing me," Rose suggested.
"Food doesn't sound like a bad idea. What do you have in mind?" John answered cautiously. He wasn't sure what to expect from this woman yet.
"Chips," she said, raising an eyebrow like that should have been obvious. "I've been in New York and it's almost impossible to find decent chips."
"Lead the way, then," he said, gesturing towards the lift.
They were silent the entire way to the chippy and John had the distinct impression that she was freezing him out intentionally, especially when she was so cheerfully friendly to anyone else she interacted with.
They were going to have a lot of work to do before the mission.
As soon as they both had packets of fish and chips they headed back to headquarters so they could discuss the mission openly.
"So, what's so important that they're forcing us to work together when we don't want to?" Rose asked as she licked her fingers. The vinegar she'd slathered on her chips stung her lips and she almost hummed in pleasure. She loved travelling but being away from authentic chips for months at a time was always hard.
"Arms dealer," he said succinctly after swallowing a bite of fish. "Kingpin of the weapons ring I've been trying to take down for the last year."
"I take it this isn't your run of the mill arms dealer then?"
"Not in the slightest," he drawled before beginning to list all the militant groups their target had armed.
Rose held her hand up to halt him. "Okay, I get it. He's dangerous and needs to be taken down. Why exactly do you need to have a blonde with you, though?"
John looked down at his last two remaining chips. He slowly picked on up and bit down on it, the starchy, fried vegetable exploding on his tongue. He savored the individual grains of salt before looking back at his partner who was waiting with ill-concealed impatience for an answer as to why she had been deemed necessary for this mission that seemed like his pet project.
"The first time I encountered the ring, I was working with Charley," he said after washing down his bite with a drink of water. "She was with me through the first few contacts with the minor players as I tried to find a way in. She ended up getting reassigned though," he shifted his gaze, not really wanting to let on that Charley had requested the transfer. They were on good terms now but their breakup, both romantic and professional, had not been the cleanest.
"After she left, Lucie was assigned to help me with the case. She's also blonde so the people in the weapons ring think I just have a type and a new woman on my arm every few months, apparently," he grimaced to make his displeasure at their assumption obvious.
"And they'd think it was suspicious if you showed up without a blonde, then?" Rose asked, holding back the questions she wanted to ask about his former partners. They seemed to be important but not something he wanted to talk about.
"Apparently," he repeated. "All reports of me to the man in charge have included my predilections so that's what he's expecting."
Rose leaned back in her chair with a huff. "No offense, but this is bullshit."
"I agree. I don't like working with new people, especially with this much on the line."
"Neither do I. I don't even know how you operate or have any background on this group yet. It's driving me spare."
"Like to have everything planned out?" He asked, interested to get a glimpse into the operating methods he would be having to mesh with.
"Maybe not everything, but I do like to know what I'm getting into, yeah. It's usually useful to know the basics about all the players and the venue if possible so that if a plan goes pear-shaped like it normally does it's easier to come up with a new plan on the run."
John shrugged,small smile playing on his lips. "I'm more of the jump in headfirst and see what happens type."
Rose stared at him. "How are you not dead?"
"Bit like a cat, have nine lives or something," he replied flippantly.
"Used up most of them?" She shot back, narrowing her eyes at him.
"About eight of them."
"Great, so you're going to finally run out of luck on my watch."
"Not likely. I'm afraid you're rather stuck with me until the end of the mission." John was having to resist the urge to roll his eyes.
Rose opened her mouth to answer but the ding of her phone going off distracted her. John's vibrated a moment later. They exchanged a look and then both reached for their devices.
Mission details had arrived and it was time to get to work.
