a.n. inspired by the film clip for the song Runnin' (Lose it All)


Annabeth can't quite breathe. She paces around the cabin and wrings her hands, trying to block out the words echoing in her ears. It's her own voice she hears, harsh and unforgiving, spitting words that she couldn't quite bring herself to mean even in the heat of the argument. But she'd said them anyway, because she'd been so angry and she'd wanted to hurt him, and she feels sick at the realisation.

Pieces of the argument flash through her mind. Her, snapping at him over her shoulder, "I have to do this, Percy. I'm sorry that it's taking up so much time, but it's important to me and I need to do it."

Him, sighing and grabbing her shoulders, forcing her to spin around and look at him. His expression was open and earnest and pleading, everything that Annabeth wasn't capable of dealing with just then. "I know, Annabeth, I know how important this is to you. I'm not asking you to give up your study, I'm just asking you to spend your time with me actually being with me. You're always working -"

"Because I have to get this done, I have deadlines to meet." Her words had been rough and clipped.

He'd put his hand on her knee. "You're going to burn yourself out," he said softly.

She pushed his hand away and stood. He tried to follow her across the room, but she shot him a warning glare. "I'm fine, can you please stop worrying!"

"I can't help it, Annabeth. You haven't stopped since we got back from Greece, and I think you need to -"

Anger had bubbled up inside her, because she knew exactly what he was asking of her and she couldn't do it, she just couldn't. "Need to what, Percy? Stop distracting myself and deal with my emotions?"

"You can't just bury it, Annabeth, it doesn't work like that."

"Like you're one to talk -"

When Annabeth got angry she yelled; When Percy got angry he went quiet. His voice was dangerously low when he pointed at her and said, "Don't turn this back on me."

"Why not? You never talk about it either!" Her voice had cracked.

He'd reached out to her and she'd flinched. She'd actually flinched away from him. She can't forget the hurt on his face, the way he'd looked at her - his guilt had radiated in palpable waves.

"Annabeth," he whispered. "We need to talk about it. We've been through it all together once, we can do it again."

She didn't want to go through it again. She wanted to forget it had ever happened. Because if she stopped to think about it, if she allowed herself to focus on the darkness that had blossomed inside her while she was in Tartarus, she was afraid she'd lose herself in it. And maybe not even Percy would be able to save her from that.

He shouldn't have to save her from that; he'd been through enough on her behalf. And that was the crux of the issue, really. He'd done so much for her that she didn't deserve, and she didn't know how to live with that guilt.

She kept her eyes locked on her feet when she said, "I didn't ask you to follow me down there, Percy."

"I chose to follow you, Annabeth."

She couldn't look at him, even though she could feel his eyes boring into her. She wanted to run to him and wrap her arms around him, hold him tight and whisper to him, I'm sorry, I love you, I'm sorry, burn the words across his skin with her lips.

But that wasn't fair. She needed him to leave, needed him to take his space back and step away from her. Maybe with some breathing room he'd come to his senses and realise that he deserved so much more than she could give him. So she braced herself and said the one thing that had any hope of pushing him away.

"Yeah, well, that was a mistake."

It was for his own good. But that didn't mean it hadn't hurt. Her throat had closed over, rebelling against her vocal chords. Her eyes had watered. She'd kept her head down, refusing to look at him.

She'd heard his sharp intake of breath, as though she'd winded him. She'd felt the change in the air. She'd heard his heavy footsteps, felt his shoulder hit hers as he barged past, felt the whole apartment rattle as he slammed the door shut behind him.

She'd collapsed, crying, and immediately regretted everything. She'd cursed herself, worse than any of the curses they'd faced down there, willing him to come back.

That was two days ago. Percy still hasn't returned.

She feels his absence like a physical ache, worse even than when Hera had taken him, because this time it's all her fault. She needs him back, needs to tell him how sorry and stupid she is. So Annabeth chases after him.

The cabin at Montauk is the only place she hasn't already checked. If he isn't here, she doesn't know what she's going to do. The more she paces, however, the more apparent it becomes that no one has stayed in the cabin for some time. There are traces of Percy everywhere, but they're old and faded, remnants of his childhood, from his life pre-Annabeth.

Panic cuts at her like a knife, ripping her composure to shreds. Her pacing transitions to running, and before she knows what she's she doing she's running out of the cabin and across the beach. Soft sand gives way beneath her feet, and she keeps on running until it compacts, until she is running through shallow water, and then deeper water, until she is not so much running as she is wading.

The sea is calm, but that doesn't make sense. She'd expected it to be churning, wild and raging as it mirrors Percy's emotions, but instead it's still. She wonders if maybe she doesn't know him so well after all. The thought makes her want to die.

She calls his name, screams it until she is hoarse, but the wind simply catches the sound and cruelly throws it away. Her stomach sinks.

"Percy," she breathes, ragged and desperate and so, so sad, "Where are you?"

No one answers. Annabeth wilts, curls into a ball, and lets the current pull at her. The water is cold but she is numb, and the salty sea air reminds her of Percy too much for her to want to leave anyway. She sinks beneath the waves, and she wonders vaguely how someone as wise as her could have gotten things so wrong.


Percy feels it immediately. A familiar tugging at his gut, a tightening, like a magnetic connection pulling him closer.

Annabeth is in the water.

He opens his eyes, slowly unfurls his limbs, and wonders how long he's been down here. He'd needed to cool off, needed to calm down before he said something he'd only regret later, and he'd left her without a word, but only because he knew he'd be back. He hadn't meant to be gone for more than a few hours.

But he'd ended up passing out on the beach last night, and this morning the ocean had looked so tempting. He always felt better surrounded by water, and the sound of the waves was almost enough to drown out the way her voice had cracked when she'd yelled at him.

He keeps replaying it over and over in his mind; the way she flinched away from him, the fear that had flickered in her eyes. She's still scared of him, and he hates himself for that.

It's not like he can blame her, though. Percy still scares himself, so he can only imagine what it's like for her. He unleashed something dark and awful inside himself in Tartarus, and as much as he tries he doesn't know how he can keep a hold of it. He pushes it down, smothers it with jokes and smiles, but he hears it whispering to him at his darkest moments. He always knows it's there, and Annabeth knows it's there, and that knowledge kills him. He feels like a monster, so no, he can't blame her for being scared of him.

But she's here, now. He can't see her, but he can feel her. She's come looking for him.

He debates with himself whether he should just let her go - ignore her, and let her go home without him, because wouldn't that be better for her? That argument almost wins, until he realises that no, that wouldn't be better for her. Because Percy and Annabeth, they're always better when they're together. They're stronger, and smarter, and happier, so much happier, when they're together. And there's no running away from that fact.

Percy lets himself sink to the sea floor, and takes off running towards Annabeth.

When he sees her, floating up near the surface, his breath catches. Sunlight, distorted by the water, is making her golden hair glow as it floats around her beautiful face. Her jeans are sticking to her legs, her feet are bare, and when she sees him she goes completely still. He freezes, waiting for a sign. Her grey eyes widen, and he doesn't see any fear in them. All he sees is relief.

"Percy?" she mouths, making bubbles.

That's all he needs. The currents twist, propelling him up and pulling her down. He swims faster than he ever has before. She reaches for him, stretches out her arms and kicks her legs.

He grabs her hand, but she pulls away almost immediately. For a second he panics, thinks that she's going to leave him again, that she only came here to tell him that it's over for good.

But then she grabs his shoulders, the back of his neck, and pulls him closer. His hands fall to her waist and he immediately feels right, settled in the way that he can only be when he's holding her.

"I'm sorry," she says in their little air bubble. "I'm sorry, about what I said, I was wrong and I shouldn't have - I just shouldn't have, because I can't lose you, Percy, I can't."

"I shouldn't have run away," he says.

They're spinning slowly, because he's still agitated and the currents are reacting accordingly. She pulls him in closer, and he envelopes her in a tight hug. She rests her head on his shoulder and he can feel her heartbeat against his chest, strong and fast and so alive, and Percy is beyond grateful for this girl who always seems to find her way back to him.

"I'm scared, Percy," she whispers.

He pulls back but doesn't move his hand from her neck. "What of?"

"I'm scared that if I start talking about it, I'm going to… get lost in it."

"I won't let you," he says firmly.

"But you shouldn't have to look after me like that, Percy," she says sadly.

"You'll do the same for me, though," he says, staring into her eyes. "This isn't a one sided thing, Annabeth. I need you just as much as you need me. The only way we're going to get through this is if we do it together."

She considers his words, and he sees her make the decision before she even says anything. The corners of her lips lift in a small smile. "Together."

She bridges the gap between them, kissing him softly and sweetly, and Percy feels like he's just turned sixteen again, like he's just started dating the girl of his dreams and the future is bright and full of promise.

Surrounded by water and with Annabeth back in his arms, Percy thinks that they might just be able to get through this, just like they've gotten through everything else the Fates have thrown at them. As long as they stay together, he thinks, they can win it all. So he just holds her tight and keeps on kissing her as they begin their ascent to the surface.