A/N: People make a lot of stupid decisions in life. The writers made one huge one, last week. Killing of Director Luther Wainwright. So to at least lessen my pain a bit I wrote a fanfic. It's a one shot right now but tell me what you think

It always came into view the same way. Usually the sun was setting, and it was nestled between two behind two bushes. So you had the hope that it wasn't there yet every time you were disappointed. It stood there tall and erect cold and emotionless just a slab of stone. It was simple and not overdone. It simply had the following words inscribed

Luther E. Wainwright

September 6th 1985- May 17th 2012

The short time that you were with us, you made the world a bit brighter

To a passerby, it wasn't much yet to me it was the world, or what my world had been. Before I knew him I was cold emotionless and distant. He opened me during those six months; he made me a different person, a better person. That second I remembered a memory that I thought I had suppressed

"I have been told you are the best" the young director said barely looking up from what I could only guess was a mountain of paperwork.

"If that's what it says than it must be true" I said, I was cranky I hadn't had my morning tea yet so things weren't going so well.

"Either way thanks you for working with us" he finally looked up displaying chocolate colored eyes and a rather proportionate face.

"Shouldn't you be in school right now?" again I blame the tea.

"I could ask you the same question" this guy could hold his own with the cranky me that am interesting.

"Dumb question you obviously have read my paperwork which shows that I am a genius by the standards of the British education system, you would also know that I have 3 PHDs and no need for further schooling."

"Just double checking" he said with a smile on his face that cursed smile

I snapped back into the present, and saw that my Tuberous Begonias had withered from yesterday. That was a funny story too.

"Why do you have those pesky flowers?" I asked one day walking into his office seeing him repositioning them again.

"They are fun to care for" he said as he found the perfect light spot.

"They are one of the hardest plants to care for they grow best in partial shade or filtered sunlight. Excessive exposure to sunlight can result in burnt flowers and leaves. However, too much shade will result in lush foliage and few flowers. Having the right proportions is almost impossible."

"Isn't that the challenge?"

"A stupid one since the flowers will die eventually, so you are fighting a losing battle" I countered.

"Then I ask you why you became a doctor since that's a losing battle too"

"Touché. But flowers don't feel pain, since they lack a nervous system and no brain to comprehend the feelings of pain while humans do feel that pain and therefore it is more important to care for humans"

"Sadly I am not a doctor"

"Oh I am not saying you should stop working and become a doctor that would be foolish for many reasons. I am just saying for arguments sake that caring for a human is more important than a plant"

"So you don't disapprove of my plant caring"

"Of course not, I wanted a good argument and you gave that to me. You can care for your plant all you want, I see that it's a relaxing technique for your which in your position and with you having Jane is very useful for you."

I smiled at that, he could always do that, make me smile. I could be having the worst day, but one joke or jab from him and I'll be on the floor rolling. Jane being as perspective as he is was the first to ask about it.

"So you and wainwright" Jane asked nipping at his cup of tea.

"What are you serious?" I said preparing my own cup.

"He makes you laugh"

"If every woman jumped every guy that ever made her laugh than we would have a problem especially in this office and especially with you"

"No, but he makes you laugh more than others"

"You cannot possibly know that you have no idea about my personal life."

I sat there in that graveyard giggling away, now passer-byers would stare, but I couldn't care less about them. I must say it really started after the Mortonson case.

The windows of the CBI were streaked with tears of rain as was my face but these tears were my own. Someone gently touched my shoulder

"Are you ok?" a soft voice came from behind, I knew he meant well but right now wasn't the time.

"I am fine" I said with my most distant and cold voice but I could feel it cracking

"No you're not" he stated factually, and then it just all came out like a volcano that had finally erupted.

"He shouldn't have died I should have been there he was my assignment but I decided to follow along with one of Jane's schemes estimating that the risk that something would happen to him I just keep seeing his face as if it were to say "This was your fault" I am sorry Wainwright I can't keep going I can diagnosis but not chase I can't shoot a gun or any of that other CBI shit"

"How long has it been since we got you from DC" he asked unfazed by my little rant.

"About 3 months 3 days and 12 hours why?" I answered

"That's cool, but beside the point. You have had 3 months to pick up skills that these agents have had schooling and years of experience for you need to give yourself time"

It's hard, my inexperienced just cost that kids life I just…" I felt soft lies against mine as an act of silencing pulling me closer his moth molded with mine and for that brief second we became one. Then the second was over and I was a bit frazzled what did this mean if it meant anything did he wasn't a relationship for maybe not what if I ask the wrong thing.

TO BE CONTINUTED