A/N - Written for the Big Bang Theory Holiday Challenge. 5 of the following 8 words must be used: snow, feast, jolly, mistletoe, gravity, passion, slippery, hilarious. Words used are in bold in the story.


"Merry Christmas!" announced Amy, as she and Penny came through the apartment door laden with bags.

Leonard looked up, eyes brightening at the sight of his fiancée. Sheldon looked up and scowled.

"Not this infernal nonsense again! If you must harp on about this thinly veiled excuse to force religion on the masses, then that greeting is only appropriate for the actual day of the holiday. It is merely the day before the holiday, so the proper greeting should be 'Good evening'."

"Sheldon, it is Christmas Eve. That is a part of the Christmas holiday too. When my father was alive, we would go out driving on Christmas Eve to look at all the beautiful lights around the town. Then, even though my family wasn't particularly religious, we would go to a midnight Christmas Eve candlelight service at a little church down the street. I loved the ceremony and the decorations and felt like such a big girl when my father let me hold my own lit candle."

Sheldon snorted, "A fire hazard, clearly. Someone should have notified the fire marshal."

Penny interjected, ignoring her irritable neighbor. "We loved the lights too. And we always had the children's Christmas nativity pageant early on Christmas eve. I remember the year that I got to be Mary – all the girls wanted to be her, but it was my turn. Of course, that was the year Tommy Webster played Joseph. He tripped going up the stage and fell face-first into the manger." She giggled. "Thankfully we hadn't put the baby Jesus into it yet."

Amy looked enchanted. "Oh, bestie. I never got to be in a Christmas pageant, but I bet you made the most beautiful Mary ever."

Leonard got up and gave Penny a hug. "I have no doubt of that at all. I had no idea, Penny, that this was part of your traditions, but I think it's great. Some day, Uncle Sheldon and Aunt Amy will come and watch our little golden-haired daughter, a little actress like her mom, play Mary."

Penny smiled and gave Leonard a tender kiss. Amy nodded eagerly and looked hopefully toward Sheldon.

However, Sheldon rolled his eyes. "Completely impossible. I do not attend amateur productions, particularly in churches at such a meaningless time of year and especially with the potential for death by fiery inferno. Now please clear away all that unnecessary packaging and the womenfolk and let's get ready for Halo Night."

Leonard stood up. "Sheldon, don't you remember that we are all invited to Raj's apartment for a party and gift exchange? The email invitation came last week."

Sheldon leapt up in alarm. "That wasn't a joke! It clearly had to be a joke. Surely I have made is abundantly clear that this farcical 'holiday' is not an appropriate occasion for gift-giving. I would expect you all to comply with my wishes in this regard."

Sheldon plopped back down in his spot. "I am just going to sit here, playing video games until you all come to your senses and join me here for the properly scheduled evening."

Leonard shook his head sadly. "Well, Sheldon. It will be a lonely evening. Come on, Penny. Would you like a ride, Amy, or will you drive yourself?"

Amy looked at Sheldon, who had his arms crossed and a pouting look on his face. A pained expression entered her eyes and her smile dropped. "You know, Leonard, I'm really not feeling up to a party this evening. I think I'm going to go home instead."

Penny rushed to Amy. "Sweetie, don't be alone tonight. Come with us. It'll be fun – you'll see. Ignore Mr. Grinch here."

Amy shook her head. "Thanks, bestie, but I think I'll pass. Have a great evening and thank Raj for me." With that, she picked up her packages and left the apartment.

Sheldon shouted after her. "Good job, Amy! I'm glad you came to your senses and have forsworn that travesty of a 'good time'." He settled back complacently until Penny smacked him in the head.

"Sheldon, you are such an ass sometimes. Amy spent all day looking for the perfect gift for you."

"Language, Penny, language! Well, she shouldn't have done that. I have not contracted with her to exchange gifts – we would have had to pre-determine a spending limit, as well as other appropriate rules. Since she took this upon herself without the proper authority, I do not need to accept her gift or to reciprocate."

Leonard sighed. "Sheldon, I thought you loved her. You still have a lot to learn, my friend." Upon receiving no acknowledgement, Leonard turned to Penny. "Let's just go now."


Sheldon sat in his spot for an hour, waiting for the boys to come back for Halo Night. When it became apparent that that was not going to happen, he prepared for an early bedtime – brushing his teeth and putting on his Wednesday night pajamas, before climbing into his bed and assuming his traditional coffin-like sleeping posture.

However he had some trouble settling in.

This absurd situation is upsetting me. I am in the right here – they all know how I feel about this time of the year. It was terribly inconsiderate of them to put me in this position. I do not need to feel bad about Amy. She's just fine.

Somehow, though, being right didn't settle him down. Tossing and turning, finally, Sheldon drifted off to an uneasy sleep.


"Hello, Sheldon."

"Professor Proton! It's good to see….Good grief, what are you wearing?"

Professor Proton was dressed in a way that Sheldon had never seen before. He was sporting a bright red and green sweater, with a picture of Rudolph the Reindeer on it and a blinking light where Rudolph's nose would be. He had on a pair of antlers on his head. And when Arthur turned around, Sheldon saw that the back of the sweater had Rudolph's behind on it with a big brown pompon tail.

"Um…perhaps it would be better if you put on your Jedi robes?"

"Sheldon, even in the after life, we can have an ugly sweater Christmas party. And I've just about maneuvered my friend, Muriel, under the mistletoe. I'd like to get on with this so I can get back to my evening."

"Oh, of course, I'm sorry, Arthur. Why are you here tonight? I can't imagine why you think I need you right now."

"Well, Sheldon, every person should participate willingly in the love and spirit of humankind. Not to do so endangers the soul and life – a line you are teetering on. In life you forge the chains that drag you down and they are harder to remove the thicker they get. So I was sent with this message and to prepare you."

Arthur paused for effect. "This evening, you will be haunted by three ghosts."

"That hackneyed old chestnut?! Really?! Hasn't the whole Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol thing been done to death?"

Arthur sat down on the edge of the bed. "Yeah, I know. It has. Most story franchises resort to it at some time or the other. I've met Charles Dickens now and he is terribly embarrassed that humanity sees this as his premier work." But then Arthur looked up and firmed his expression, "Regardless, Sheldon, there is a reason it is used so often. Because its message of life review, regret for wrongdoing, and possible change speaks so much to all of us."

Sheldon smirked. "This is hilarious! Oh, I know…this is what I'm supposed to say – 'You may be an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of an underdone potato. There's more of gravy than of grave about you, whatever you are!'"

Arthur sighed. "Yes, Sheldon, you've read the original story. Good for you. But Sheldon, this is not a joke; you need to understand the gravity of the situation. I have visited you before – you know that I will come when you need me. I am not an apparition caused by your dinner!"

Sheldon thought for a moment. "I suppose that is true. All right, Arthur. I question that I have wrongdoing or regrets or changes that I need to make in my life. But I can visit with these ghosts and see what they have to show me. Bring on your ghosts."

"Thank you, Sheldon. I will be going now – Muriel awaits. But, please … learn from this experience."

"I learn from everything, Arthur. Farewell until I see you again."

With that, Professor Proton vanished. Sheldon sat up in his bed, shaking his head in disbelief. If I can't sleep, I might as well enjoy a walk down memory lane. I wonder what the Ghost of Christmas Past will look like?

A throat cleared behind him. "Sheldon?"

Sheldon turned around and gasped. "Dad?"