Did you ever wonder why Rachel was so shocked when the pregnancy test was found in Monica's trash? Did you ever wonder what the test was doing there in the first place? Did you ever wonder how Rachel felt when she found out she was pregnant? Well, here is my version of events, as it happened on the morning of Monica and Chandler's wedding...
Testing
The morning rays shone through the window as birds began chirping. With a sudden start, Rachel awoke. Groggily she shook her head, wondering where she was. She sat bolt upright in bed as she remembered. Today, Monica and Chandler would be getting married. What an exciting day!
Her stomach churned as she thought of the implications of tonight. It was exciting. It was unbelievably exciting. But wait – why did she feel like throwing up?
Waves of panic washed up against her. NO. It couldn't be. It couldn't be happening. Struggling for breath, she lay back on the pillow. There was no denying it. This was the fourth day in a row that she woke up feeling extremely queasy, to the point of needing to barf. This was unusual for her. At first she attributed it to food poisoning, but now it was out of hand.
Suddenly she jumped out of bed, switched on the bedside lamp, and rummaged in the night table drawer. Of course, meticulously organized Monica had a tiny pocket calendar in the top drawer. Frantically, she turned the pages back and forth as she made mental calculations. Finally realizing the truth, she sat heavily down at the edge of the bed. She had to admit to herself that it was two weeks since she had missed her period.
Wow. She could barely handle the revelation, even just to herself. Although she wasn't perfectly regular, she had never gone two weeks overdue. And with these waves of nausea every morning, it all added up. She never dreamed this would ever happen to her – she was so careful. She always used protection. How in the world had this happened?
Well, there was only one way to know. Cautiously, she got dressed and tiptoed quietly out of the guest room. It felt kind of weird to be back in her old room, but she'd given up her bedroom for Chandler tonight, and was back in her old, plush, cozy room, which was so beautifully spruced up by good old Monica.
Gently walking on her tiptoes, she left the apartment, in the wee hours of the morning, and hurried to the closest Duane Read pharmacy. Then realizing that she didn't want the checkout girl to see what she was buying, she changed course and walked a few blocks in the other direction, to a larger store with more counters, where no one would know her. Her entire body shaking, she reached the display case with the pregnancy tests.
Which one to choose? The EPT was the most reliable, but also the most expensive. Resignedly, she took a cheaper brand and hurried to the counter with her credit card to pay. The checkout girl was actually surprised to see someone so urgently needing a pregnancy test at 6 in the morning, but it was none of her business, so she shrugged and entered the purchase.
Clutching her precious bag, Rachel hurried back to the building, hoping to enter unobtrusively. She figured that Chandler and Joey were probably still asleep, and thought it would be the best idea to do the test in her own bathroom. But to her dismay, the door was locked. She would have to do it in her Apartment 20.
As stealthily as possible, she slithered back into her apartment and rushed into the bathroom to conduct the test. When she'd finished peeing on the stick, she laid it down on the sink and waited the required three minutes.
As she waited, her heart pounded with the intensity of a hundred sledgehammers. She was downright terrified. She, Rachel Green, was possibly having a baby? It was too scary to contemplate. She wiped the sweat off her forehead. Wait til her friends heard this. They would have a fit. And wait til they heard with whom. They would be shocked to their very core. They wouldn't believe that she had actually caved and had a one-night stand with Ross. They would never understand her. And gosh, how would Ross react?
Waves of panic overcame her. She absolutely couldn't handle knowing. She'd thought she was strong enough to know the truth, but she just couldn't. Shutting her eyes tightly, she stuffed the offending test in the trash can and covered it with tissues. Monica certainly wouldn't notice it, today of all days, and later, when she'd have the courage to confront her uncertain future, Rachel would come back to peek at it. She headed back into her room for a nap.
When she awoke at 10 in the morning, all thoughts of the pregnancy test flew from her mind as Phoebe came over to keep the bride and her company. Fifteen minutes later, the pregnancy test was as good as forgotten as they had a bigger problem on their hands: the disappearance of the groom.
Dazed, she went back into the apartment, wondering what to do. Monica had just woken up, and she came rushing from her room, screaming, "I'm getting married today!!!" She suddenly tripped and fell over, but picked herself up. "I think I just cracked a rib. But I don't care because today's my wedding day! My day is finally here!!" Without waiting for a reaction, she dashed back into her room.
Phoebe looked startled. "Y'know, she might not even notice he's gone."
Monica peeked out of her room. "I'm gonna start getting ready!" she exulted.
"Don't!" Rachel cried. "We can't let her start getting ready! This is too awful! Oh God, but wait she'll be in the gown and then he won't show up and then she's gonna have to take off the gown..."
"Shhh! Stop it! Stop it Rachel!" Phoebe admonished. "You can't do this here!" She dragged Rachel into the bathroom."
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's just...It's just so sad!" But Rachel was panicking over something else. Why was she crying like that? She didn't remember ever being so teary before. Did this have anything to do with pregnancy hormones? Oh no, if she was pregnant she definitely had to hide it from Phoebe! She asked Phoebe for some tissues to hide those stubborn tears. Phoebe rummaged around but couldn't find any. She bent into the trash can and fished one out.
With a sudden start, Rachel realized – the pregnancy test! It was still there in the garbage! There was no way Phoebe could discover it – this was dangerous territory! She had to distract her away from the tissues in the garbage.
"Oh God I just cannot imagine what is gonna happen if Chandler doesn't show up!" she blabbed. "Oh, I mean she's gonna be at the wedding waiting for him and people will be whispering, 'Oh that poor girl.' Y'know? Then she'll have to come back here and live all alone." The tears kept coming.
"Oh my God!" Phoebe cried.
"What?" asked Rachel, fearing the worst.
"There was a pregnancy test in the garbage, and it's positive. Monica's pregnant," said Phoebe in shock.
So it was positive. It was. Rachel was speechless.
Phoebe and Rachel looked at each other for a full minute, both recovering from their very different shocks.
"Oh my God!" Rachel cried.
"I know!" Phoebe exclaimed. "Monica's gonna have a baby! Hey, can this count as her something new?"
But Rachel wasn't even listening. Her head was spinning like a carousel. It was positive! She was pregnant!
"Oh my God!" she repeated.
"Hey, do you think this is why Chandler took off?" Phoebe wondered.
Thinking quickly, Rachel said, "No, she had to have just taken that test because I took out the trash last night."
"Oh God, this is turning into the worst wedding day ever! The bride is pregnant. The groom is missing. And I'm still holding this." Phoebe threw the test back into the trash.
"Listen," Rachel said, her voice shaking, "Leave that there... Obviously Monica doesn't want us to know, otherwise she'd have told us. It's best if we keep this a secret between us and don't tell anyone until Monica is ready to reveal the news to us, okay?"
"Of course," Phoebe said emphatically.
"I need some time to digest the news," Rachel said, her voice still quivering.
"I'm going back to my room for a bit. You try to distract Monica meanwhile, okay?"
She didn't even wait for an answer as she forcefully closed the door to her old bedroom and sat down hard on the bed. Her jumbled thoughts tumbled over each other in circles and all kinds of other shapes. Her head was spinning so fast, she thought she would burst.
She was pregnant. With Ross's baby. The former love of her life, the guy she had thrown out of her life when he'd cheated on her – he was fathering her firstborn. How ironic could that be?
Rachel took a deep breath. No. This couldn't be true. She wasn't ready to have her life turned upside down. Deep denial took hold of her. She hadn't even seen the pregnancy test. Maybe Phoebe had misinterpreted it. Maybe there was only one line there. She didn't have to believe Phoebe.
She wasn't going to deal with that big question just yet. First, she was going to help her best friend cope with her disappearing groom. The question of her pregnancy would have to wait.
Feeling better about the whole thing, she turned the knob of the door to join Phoebe and Monica in the kitchen. Her hand was no longer shaking.
