You Know You're At Band Camp When:
PIZZA!
You only speak Chinese
You realize band is a prison
Penguin
You call Harloff "Dad"
You get excited about Crayola color names
You want to kill Briseney
You are excited to go to bed at 10:58
You aren't allowed to be a super spy
And so on…
You laugh about the word "funny"
Harloff says "nice hat" when it's the ugliest hat on the face of the earth
Your eyes get raped
You can't find the napkins
You know you don't have a life
You realize penguins have no knees
Webb-isms make your two days
And so on…
Emily fails
Eddie fails
You all are ARMPIT!
No Jefferey!
BRIGHT! (written in neon)
Your dot coordinate excites you
You're reading Josh Lowe's shirt
You start yelling at the lightning – "If that lightning strikes one more time…"
Ellis' jokes are funny
You have no internet or TV
Someone uses a metronome to tell you to get off the stage
You have nothing to say
Webb gives you the "birds and bees" talk
"Horn plays you" isn't a joke
You're hyper at 11 pm.
You are reading this
Your calves/knees/feet feel like burning rocks
Amen
What is "home?" Who are "my parents?" I have a life outside of band?
The longer it takes, the longer it takes.
"No touchin' it, no lickin' it, no sniffin' it, and no puttin' it in your mouth."
And so on
Neon colors are awesome
All you laugh at is nothing
You smash the doughnuts
You haven't peed in 3 days
You know who "Grandpa" is
It's not "one time, at band camp"
Webb is late for his own talent show
You feel like darting in front of every car that drives by
You take the shortcut through the bathroom
You pray for rain
You describe flutes as "3 oz. of pure, unadulterated clouds"
You make a poster about band camp
…7, 7, 2, 6, 6, 14, 12, 10, 8, 8, 8, 12, 12… means something to you
You don't know squat from a radish
And so on
