A.N. Please don't take this story too seriously, it's ment to make fun of and have fun with Mary-Sues. Warning contains course language. If for any reason you think this this needs a higher rating, please let me know! For future reference, you may have to turn off your logic in future chapters. I do not own transformers.

" Her name was Lady Fyre Stargaze. She has ice blue eyes that went red when she was angry but that rarely evr happened, unless she was Faced with Evil. A single scar went vertically down her left eye, but that just added to Fyre's awesomeness. The Lady's most beautiful feature was her very long, gorgeous, soft, shiny, pure black hair. She had a habit of making ALL the guys fall in lo-"

"What the fuck is this shit?"

Staring blankly at the computer screen, I have to wonder; if I read any more of this shit, will I barf? Or will my brain just implode on itself.

"Um...it's f-fanfiction?" The voice of my best friend, Eddy responds hesitantly. I turned my head to look at her. Red messy hair hanging in a pony tail, loose strands littering her pale freckled face. She looked somewhat disturbed staring at the computer screen.

"Fanfiction my ass! This is crap on a stick." I firmly state.

"Hey, that's an insult to the stick!" Oh, how I love you Eddy. "And we haven't even gotten to the good part yet. She has yet to find out she's the lost second half-daughter of the god-"

Oh, god. She's doing this to torture me, I know she is.

"Shut up! I don't want to here any more, my brain will melt. How can someone be a half-daughter? That doesn't even make sense! And what's with the name? Who the hell names their kid Fyre?" Her parents or author or whatever must hate her.

"Ha! Like you should talk Miss-GAH!"

Fish are meant for eating and living in water. Though they can also be used to shut someone up by shoving one in they're mouth. However I find throwing a fish at an annoying someone's head is also an effective use. I also just so happened to have been eating fried fish at the time. Convenient, no?

"E-eww...Why can't you just tell me to shush, o-or throw a book, like a normal person?" Eddy whined, wiping the fish off her face.

"Because normal people are boring, uncreative, and don't know the true potential of fish. They also give me the creeps. Why do you think I hang out with you? Or vise-versa for that matter?" I retaliated.

"True, true. If you were normal, I would have ditched you long ago for a cactus." Eddie giggles.

"Why a cac...never mind, I don't wanna know. Anyway back to the crap-not-worth-being-on-a-stick. Why do people write this?" I waved my hand at the screen.

"'Cause they're sad and have no lives." she exclaims matter-of-factly.

"Pfft! No excuse!" Placing my hands casually behind my head, I glared at the offensive computer screen, half wishing it would catch fire. Only half because it's a library computer, and I don't have the money to pay for supernatural damage.

"So...ready to troll now?" And that's why we were reading this shit in the first place, to troll it. We tend to do this for fun; finding Mary-Sues and badly written fics just to tear them apart and burn the pieces...Ok, so I tolled and Eddie greatly critics and sometimes trolled, depending on her mood. If you ask me, we're doing the world a favor. There are TONS of these... things... out there and If someone didn't try to get rid of them, then we'd be over ran with crappy fics and fucked up Sues.

"Oh hell ya." Our current universe of target? Transformers. Eddie is a big... um... what did she call it? Transfan! She's a huge transfan. Me? I've seen the live action movies (witch kicked ass by the way. Fucking giant fighting robots for the win!) and I've heard a thing or two from Eddie, but that's it.

Have way into our (my) spam trolling (trololol...) we (I) started getting messages back, if the e-mail I got stating I have a reply to my comment on was anything to go by. So, we eagerly went to my inbox. Two messages. There was a rather sad/pathetic/crybaby/fucking long response from the author. In witched I just laughed. Before I went to respond however, the other message popped up...automatically...must be another stupid update I wasn't aware of.

This message was anonymous and simple:

So you like trolling Mary-sue's, do you?

Funny, I could just picture perfectly what this person's voice was like. Weird, I know.

"Well that's a strange comment..." Eddie pointed out the obvious in confused tone.

"Pfft! Probably just another troll hunter. They need to learn to not feed the trolls! We are on a strict diet." Though this one seems a little odd...

A few lines down I then saw (witch I somehow didn't notice before): Do you think it's easy being a Mary-sue?

I could almost hear this person now.

"Ok...weirdo much? Easy being a Mary-sue... who the fuck cares? I'm sure it's real hard being a sue." Rolling my eyes I leaned back. "What do you think, Eddie?"

"I don't know, seems weird." The redhead just shrugs, how helpful.

"Welp, weirdo's getting trolled too. If people decide to feed me I'll gladly take it and- ...What the hell? That was not there before!" A few lines down was: How would you like it if you were a Sue.

Ok, freaky. Why the sudden bad feeling? It's just some random person with a computer.

"L-let's just delete the message! This is creeping me out a bit..." Eddie seemed a little disturbed by this as well. So without another word, I deleted the message.

...

"This is stupid! We're totally over reacting." I shouted, then got 'shushed' by a grouchy librarian. Que eye rolling now. "We're acting like it's some fricken' horror movie. Ha!" I turned to face Eddie.

"Y-you're right! Totally over reacting hahaha..." Eddie laughed nervously before breaking into real giggles with me. We were being stupid and we knew it. We laughed and giggled for a few good minutes, until Eddie froze and visibly paled into a whole new shade of white.

"Eddie? What's wrong? Ya look like you've seen a ghost, haha..." Don't point to the computer, don't pont-and she fucking points to the computer. Shit.

Slowly turning around to face the computer, I stared wide-eyed in shock.

What's so funny?

This time I swear I heard it. "The hell is going on?" I jumped out of my chair, half expecting the computer to bite me. I'm now getting a really bad feeling about this.

I asked you a question.

"Y-you heard that right? Please tell me you heard that!" Eddie sounded near hystarics. It usually took a lot more to scare or even spook us, but this...thing was really starting to creep us out. I nodded to Eddie.

"This has to be some kind of prank! The guy is probably in hear with us Eddie, start looking!" Probably my jerk of an ex-boyfriend. Asshole.

Turning to find the unlucky bastard that was trying to mess with us, I was shocked still. Everyone, everyone, besides me and Eddie, were frozen. Petrified. As in the librarian was halfway into the 'shush' pose facing us. Some random guy was in the middle of a bite of a hotdog outside the window and another chick was looked like she had tripped and was falling, but none of them were moving! Nobody moved. Even all the computers were frozen.

"Wh-what's going on? Who's d-doing this?" Eddie stammered, she was absolutely terrified.

I think it's time you learned a lesson.

Spinning around to face the computer I found the screen had gone completely blue with nothing but that message in the center. Ya...bad feeling in overdrive now. Am I dreaming? I don't feel like I am... I didn't realize I voiced that out loud until I felt something hit the back of my head.

"Ow!"

"Nope, not dreaming." Eddie says helpfully.

"Bitch, how is that a reason to hit me with a book?" I growled, rubbing the back of my head.

"Revenge for the fish." Bitch.

I'm going to send you into the world of Transformers. Voice lady-I decided it sounds like a chick- continued. The screen started flashing by hundreds of pictures involving giant robots. If the situation were different, this would be bloody cool. Where you'll be transformed into the very thing you despise so much. A Mary-Sue.

"What? No fair! She's not even a transfan how come she gets to go? That's like, my greatest fandom fantasy dream." Eddie was actually pouting.

I gave Eddie my best 'are you kidding me?' look. "Really Eddie? Really? Some creepy voice thing is threatening to take me to some other world and transform me into a freaking Mary-Sue and you're complaining about not being able to come along?" Would it be weird to say that I wasn't really surprised by her answer, or that I expected it actually?

"Yes." Facepalm.

Given time, you will join her. For now you'll just have to wait and keep an eye on her, for I highly doubt she'll get very far without some outside help.

"Hey, I resent that! I'll fucking pwn, help or no help-what the hell am I saying? I'm not going!" Like that's even possible.

Moving on, you'll be sent to the world of Transformers in the movie-verse. Sometime between the 2nd and 3rd should do. You'll find in some cases, that world is much like your own.

"Are you fucking ignoring me? Don't ignore me bitch!"

An as far as you're Mary-Sue qualities go...Haha, well, let's just start with the first transformer to make eye-to-optic contact with you will fall in love with you. So I'd be careful about what vehicles I look at if I were you. Mwahaha.

It laughed at me. It fucking laughed at me. Time to punch in the screen.

"Now wait a second, I don't think you're listening. I am not going and I'm certainly as hell not going to be a Mary-Su-uuuuuuuuuuue..." Pretty colours. Swirling. Being sucked down tiny tube. Twisting. Falling. Fast. Turning. I'm going to be sick!


Edna Brooks stared at the spot where her best friend had just been after a colourful vortex thing came out of the demon computer and sucked in her best friend. When everyone around her started moving again she took a seat in front of the library-grade demon thing. What she saw was that 'Word perfect' had been brought up.

Not knowing what else to do in her current state of shock, cautiously she typed 'what just happened?' She was not surprised to find a response seemingly out of nowhere just below.

Your friend has just been made into a fanfiction inside the Transformers movie-verse. You will be able to read what happens and help (or make things worse) through here until you join her. For now, just have fun.

Unsure of what to do or if she could even do anything about it, the red-head just 'went with it', as they say, like her and her best friend had always done when faced with something weird, unatural, or problematic and uncontrolable happens. Like when that old chicken at the back of the fridge attacked them. 'Ok.' She shrugged then typed. 'So when do I get to go?'

In time child, in time. It shouldn't be long.

'Sweet.'


Ugh. I'm going to be sick... Where am I? The library. Ok. Where's Eddie?

I'm here.

"What the fuck?" I jumped in my seat and looked around. Eddie wasn't there, just the librarian shushing me. Bitch, can't she see I'm freaking out here?

I'm still in our world, talking to you through word perfect. You're a fanfiction now in the Transformers world! This is soo cool!

"Not cool Eddie, not cool!" I shouted at the voice of me best friend in my head, not ccaring at this particulare moment how crazy I looked. "I don't want to be here!"

"Miss I'm going to have to ask you to leave. You are disrupting the others." The librarian approached me with a stern look. Was I just getting kicked out of the library?

"But I-" Yes I was. "I'm going, I'm going." I stomped out of the library and onto the streets of the busy city, mumbling to myself until something caught my eye.

'Iron Giants Tear Up Pyramids. Any relation to the ones from Mission City?' It was a tabloid paper on the ground with a very crappy picture of two robots fighting. 'Not robots,' I thought. 'Transformers.'

I'm actually in the world of Transformers. That bitch actually did it, is actually trying to turn me into a Mary-Sue...

What now?