AN: Hello! A few things to note before you begin:
1. This story takes place predominantly during the marauders sixth year (and goes through the summer and beginning of seventh year) but each chapter will begin with some sort of flashback from another year (or possibly from earlier on in sixth year). The main story will carry out chronologically but the flashbacks will be random and will be somewhat related to something within the main plot.
2. It will mostly be through James' POV (third person) although there might be a few flashbacks from others. Also, there are a few scenes from here I might rewrite in Lily's POV and have them as companion pieces to this, if that idea gets enough interest.
3. This fic is rated 'T' for now but will most likely be changed to 'M' for a future chapter. I figured you should be warned ahead of time.
4. I'm looking for a beta if anyone wants to help a girl out. I do my best editing but I get lazy and bored.
Ok, I think that's it! Please enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
o0o0o0o
James knew he should have sat next to Evans again. The fourth year glanced at the red head in the front of the class, textbook out and quill writing furiously, no doubt already starting the homework. She was able to master the spell on her first try, as she was wont to do in Charms. James Potter, on the other hand, was failing miserably at the 'accio' spell. No matter what he tried it on, nothing really felt like zooming toward him the way it was supposed to.
Much to his chagrin, after Professor Flitwick forced James to sit next to Evans last year after an… accident in class, James wound up doing excellent in the class. Not only did he not have Sirius to distract him, but she was always willing to help him whenever he couldn't do something. Even when James realized Evans was fun to pull pranks on and would harass the poor girl on a weekly basis, she still would coach him through whatever charm was ailing him. This year, with him in his usual backseat and her shining brightly in the front, he was back to struggling.
Not that James Potter ever struggled with magic. In fact, he was easily in the running for top of their year. But charms was something that didn't come as easily to him as other subjects. And he was not used to something being not easy.
Her dark red hair fell in front of her face as she sat hunched over her parchment. When Marlene nudged her, asking for help, she finally looked up and quickly tucked her hair behind her ears. Evans grabbed her neighbor's wrist and did the motions with her. James remembered how she would do that all the time last year. The first time she latched onto him, he was shocked at the contact but he soon realized that was just who she was. She was a very take-charge kind of girl, who didn't put up with any nonsense.
She also, James remembered with a churning in his stomach, was a very handsy person. Although he would never consider whatever their relationship was as friends, he quickly learned that she was constantly touching, feeling, contacting people. Every finger stroke, hand hold, shoulder nudge would send fire through his body and he hated the way it made him feel. That was why the pranks started in the first place. But the venom in her voice and the way her green eyes would flash in anger only prompted him further.
"Whatcha looking at?" Sirius asked, breaking James out of his reverie. James looked at his shaggy haired friend, hoping he didn't look too guilty.
"Nothing," he muttered, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Just thinking."
"Checking out Evans again?"
"I do not check out Evans," he cried indignantly, catching the attention of both Remus and Peter, James' other best friends.
Sirius chuckled. "Of course you don't. You just spend all your free time ogling at her banging body."
"Her body isn't banging," James protested, all too aware of how hot his face was becoming.
"I'm going to have to go with Sirius on this one," Remus chimed in. "She is pretty attractive."
"It seems like you lot are more interested in her than I am. Dunno why you're always taking the mickey out of me."
Remus gave him a piercing look and James suddenly felt very self-conscious. "Do you like Lily?" he asked.
"No," he said firmly. The three other boys looked at each other, shrugged, and then carried on with the summoning charm.
Getting frustrated at his lack of ability with the damn spell, James let his mind wander. It happened to wander to Evans. Again. He quickly peeked at her and noted that she was back to doing the homework. He couldn't understand how she was so bloody good at everything she did. James considered himself to be a very naturally talented wizard and didn't have to try to get top marks. But Lily was just as smart as he was and even better at Charms and it just wasn't fair that a person could be so smart and so kind and so pretty. He really disliked her. Hated her even.
Not to mention she was friends with Snivellus, who was basically Satan himself. James had no idea what Evans saw in that pathetic excuse for a human. But, he supposed, that was what made her so Lily. She always saw the best in others and wouldn't let the opinion of others affect her own judgment of a person. Because she was just that perfect.
Really, James couldn't understand why his friends were always making fun of him about the girl. They didn't like each other. Hell, he could barely tolerate her. Sure, she was helpful last year when she would help him in class but he always felt so anxious whenever he was around her. There was no way he liked her. That was just so wrong and weird.
James spent the rest of class musing on all the reasons he didn't like Lily to confirm to himself what he already knew that, no, he definitely did not have feelings for the snarky redhead. By the end of the lesson, he had successfully completed the charm a total of zero times and was given extra homework as a result.
"You couldn't do it once," Peter asked, his blue eyes sparkling with excitement. "Even I managed it!"
"Shut it, Pete," James muttered.
"Leave poor Jamesiepoo alone," Sirius said. "He was too distracted by the sexy ginger in the front to pay attention."
"I wasn't distracted by Evans," James exclaimed. How many times did they have to have this conversation?
"Then why were you staring at her for practically the entire class?"
"I was not staring." They gave him a look of disbelief. "I was just thinking about how much better I did in Charms when she would help me… Do you think she'd help me again this year?"
"I dunno, mate," Sirius said, clapping James on the back. "She seemed pretty ticked with you after you set that niffler in their dormitory."
"Oh yeah. I forgot about that."
"It was three days ago."
"I've had other things on my mind!"
"Like the way Lily's red hair catches in the light, or—"
"Will. You. Stop."
The three boys laughed at James but didn't say anything more on the topic of Lily Evans. That is, until they passed her talking to a few of her friends in a corridor. James strained his ears to pick up on what the girls were saying.
"You can't be that bad Lily," Mary, another 4th year Gryffindor, said.
"It's definitely my worst subject, Mary. How embarrassing is it that Potter is better than I am?"
"He's really smart," Marlene added.
"I know that but I don't like that he's better than me in something."
The four boys looked at each other with grins on their faces. The girls apparently hadn't seen them so they continued to talk about how smart James was. He didn't mind.
"Maybe you can ask McGonagall if she can give you extra credit or something," Mary asked.
"I'm not doing poorly enough to warrant extra credit. It's more of a pride issue than anything else."
"Maybe Potter can help you," Marlene smirked.
"Ew," Lily said. "Don't even joke like that."
Mary spoke up but at this point they were too far away again to hear what the girls were saying. James' heart sped up. Marlene gave him a brilliant idea. If Evans was struggling with Transfiguration, maybe they could help each other out. He didn't care what Sirius said about Evans hating him, she was too nice to refuse to help and if he was offering help in return…
"See, mate, she's talking about you too," Sirius joked.
"I'll meet you lot in the room," James said before rushing down the hall where the girls went. He figured they were either going to dinner or the library. Just as he was trying to figure out which way to turn, he was a glimpse of red hair and he ran after her.
"Evans!" he shouted. No response. "Hey! Evans!"
She turned around, her green eyes searching for whoever was calling her. When they landed on James, he could feel his body tense up as she watched him walk up to her. Now that he was there and talking to her, his mind seemed to have shut down and he couldn't remember why he sought her out in the first place.
"Yes, Potter," she asked, her voice as polite as she could muster.
"Er…"
She raised one of her eyebrows at him while he struggled to come up with words. Marlene and Mary giggled.
"I, er, couldn't help but overhear that you needed help with Transfiguration," he said.
Her cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink. "Are you eavesdropping on my conversations now?"
"What? No! I just heard you say something about not doing well and I wanted to let you know that I am brilliant at Transfiguration and am more than willing to help you."
"I don't need your help, Potter."
"Okay, but erm, what if we helped each other? You know, I help you with Transfig and you help me with Charms. I know how good you are in that class."
She stared at him, her bright green eyes narrowed as she thought it over.
"Is this your way of saying you need me to tutor you in Charms?"
He shrugged. "Maybe."
After a horrible and excruciating pause, her face lit up as she beamed at him. James knew Evans was a smiley person, always laughing with her friends, but he had never personally been on the receiving end of a Lily Evans grin this big. His heart sputtered in his chest and he felt himself smiling back despite himself.
"Sure, Potter. We can be study buddies. I'll meet you in the library tonight at 7:30. Don't be late." And with a swish of her hair, she turned around and walked away with her friends. James stared at her retreating back, rooted to the spot. Her smile, he decided, was yet another thing he absolutely despised about Lily Evans.
o0o0o0o
James watched lazily as Peter and Sirius tried out Peter's new chess set. Remus was sitting next to Sirius, trying to help. It was Christmas break during their sixth year and there was barely a soul left in the castle. With the war getting more serious with every day that passed, people wanted to spend as much time with their families as possible. Remus's cycle happened to fall during their break, though, so they all agreed to stay at Hogwarts to be with him.
There were only three other Gryffindors who stayed this break: some random second year girl whose name James couldn't quite remember, fourth year Jeremy Biggins who played beater on the quidditch team and had a twin in Ravenclaw, and Lily Evans—the bane of James Potter's existence.
Ever since James was forced to sit next to Lily in Charms class back in third year, she had given him Christmas gifts. In third year she gave him a card that merely read 'Happy Christmas, Potter! May your holidays be charming and bright!' He rolled his eyes when he read it but a grin appeared and he couldn't help but laugh at the cheesy pun. Fourth and fifth year she gave him a small bag of products from Zonko's, which both amused and surprised him. This year, it was nearly dinner time and he hasn't received anything from her. Not that he expected to, really. They had been on friendly terms previous years. This year she'd barely said two words to him.
Trying to distract himself from depressing thoughts, James reopened his book on Quidditch teams that Remus bought him. He rested his head against the arm of the cushy, red couch and brought his legs up, crossing them at the ankles.
"Oi, Prongs, help me out, yeah?" Sirius said.
"Padfoot," James said, not bothering to look up from his book, "I'm pretty sure even the three of us combined still won't be able to beat our little Wormy."
"Right, well you look a right mess so I was trying to get you to join your friends instead of sulking about because Evans didn't give you a present."
"I'm not sulking," he grumbled.
Remus smiled sympathetically. "If it makes you feel any better, Lily and I haven't exchanged presents yet either. There's still a chance she'll—"
"She's not giving me anything Moony and you know it," James snapped.
Ever since the incident by the lake, as he refers to it, Lily Evans has refused to speak, look, or even yell at James. He tried apologizing a few times but she wouldn't have any of it. They haven't had a proper conversation since their O.W.L.s, which was rather unfortunate for James as he was fairly certain he was in love with the girl.
"I've been trying to talk to her," Remus said. "You know how stubborn she can be."
"Yeah, whatever. If she doesn't want to talk to me, I don't want to talk to her."
"So, I shouldn't keep trying to talk you up to her," Remus asked, smirking.
"Sod off, Moony. I'm not in the mood for one of your knowing looks."
Sirius snorted at his friend. "You're a bit pathetic, mate," he told James.
"For once we actually agree on something, Black."
James jumped a bit at the sound of her voice and quickly sat up, running a hand nervously through his hair. In his haste, he accidentally dropped his book and hit his elbow against the side of the couch. His glasses hug crookedly off his ears but he didn't exactly care. "Evans," he said quickly. "Hi."
She looked at him amusedly, mocking his patheticness even further, and James thought he might actually puke. That was the first time she looked at him in months. Her eyes, he noticed, were still as stunning and bright as ever. He wanted to say something, anything, but his mouth was unreasonably dry and his mind unsurprisingly blank. And then much too soon but not soon enough, her gaze moved on and James could breathe again.
"Remus," she said, ignoring James' sad excuse of a greeting, "I haven't been able to catch you yet. Happy Christmas!" She reached into her bag and pulled out a huge basket that was much too large to be able to fit into the bag. He realized she must have put some sort of extension charm on the bag and he couldn't stop the small smile that appeared on his face at how clever the witch was.
"Bloody hell Lily," Remus laughed. "How much chocolate did you get me?"
"Well, I know how much you love chocolate and you always complain about your friends stealing from your stock. And you probably got enough books this Christmas."
"This is brilliant, really," he said sincerely, standing from his seat and wrapping his arms around her. James tried to bite down the pang of jealousy at the ease in which Remus could interact with her. It was his own damn fault he wasn't getting anything from Lily, not Remus'. "Here's yours. Happy Christmas."
Lily smiled at him before tearing the wrapping paper off. She looked down at the box before bursting out laughing. James couldn't see the box from where he was sitting but he knew Remus mentioned something about origami. "That's great, Remus. Thank you so much," she said, enveloping him in yet another hug. James tried to remind himself that since the one failed date the two went on, Lily and Remus have only ever seen each other as friends and nothing else.
"How has your break been so far," Remus asked.
"Oh, you know," she said, looking down at her hands, "pretty boring. I don't really have anyone to hang out with so I'm almost caught up with the work the professors assigned us already."
"You could always hang out with us," Remus offered. There was a very tense silence that followed his words. James looked anywhere but at Lily, refusing to see the look of disgust that he was sure was on her face.
"Maybe…" she said awkwardly. James snapped his attention to her. She was still looking down, playing with her hands. Her red hair was falling in her face, covering up the slight blush on her cheeks. He knew he should look away in case she caught him staring but now that he started, he couldn't bring himself to stop; she was beautiful.
"Okay, well think about it," Remus said. "Offer's always available."
Lily looked up and gave him a small smile. "Thanks, Remus, you're the best."
"Now that's cleared up, can we get food? Wormtail beat me again," Sirius said. Peter looked proud of yet another chess win. "You coming Evans?"
"Er…" she said, looking awkward and nervous again.
"You don't have to," James said, finally tearing his eyes away from her.
"No, I—I will," she said hesitantly. James found himself once again staring at her and she was looking right back at him. Again. He felt his face heating up under her gaze. "Actually, I was wondering if I could talk to you for a minute, Potter."
"Me," he asked incredulously. His heart was pounding in his chest at the thought of a private conversation with Lily.
"Yeah. Is that alright?"
"Yeah, sure," he croaked. He cleared his throat before turning to the rest of his friends. "We'll meet you down there." They nodded and each gave him a look that clearly read 'good luck.' He tried to smile at them but he was pretty sure his face was stuck on terrified.
Once the portrait hole closed and they were the only two left in the room, Lily started speaking. "So, here's the thing. After everything that happened last year, I was really angry with you. Furious. You humiliated me in front of everyone, bullied my best friend, and caused Snape and me to end our friendship. I hated you for it. I blamed you for Snape acting the way he did and even though you definitely had your share in our split, I finally admitted that you weren't the ultimate reason it happened. He chose his side and I chose mine and it was going to inevitably happen. Of course, I realized that a while ago and I've been too stubborn to admit that I was wrong and partially at fault too."
She took a deep breath before continuing. "I guess, what I'm trying to say is Transfiguration is kicking my ass this year and I got an 'O' on the exam because of you and I know you've been struggling with Charms as well so maybe if you can forgive me, I can forgive you and then we can go back to being study buddies again?"
James stared at her, his hazel eyes wide. They stayed like that until James finally found his voice.
"Er, what do I have to forgive you for?"
She rolled her eyes. "I said some things in anger that weren't nice. I still think you're an arrogant, bullying toerag, but you still have a lot of admirable qualities and I never should have said you were as bad as Snape. You're loyal to your friends and are the very last person I would ever suspect of getting into dark arts. I'm sorry."
"You're—" James said, trying desperately to think of something witty or clever to say. All he could think, though, was that she was exceptionally pretty today in her Christmas jumper and she was apologizing and he wanted to kiss her so badly it hurt. "'S'ok," was his response.
She smiled shyly at him. "So, we're good?"
"Yeah," he said softly. "We're good."
They walked down to the Great Hall in a silence that alternated between awkward and comfortable. James didn't know what to make of this turn of events but he knew one thing—this was by far the best Christmas present Lily Evans has ever given him.
J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L
They sat the five of them at the mostly empty Gryffindor table, munching happily on the holiday meal in front of them. Sirius was fairly good at keeping the conversation going considering their group consisted of a very silent Lily and a dumbstruck James. Somehow, Peter, Sirius, and Remus started having a heated debate on whether ghosts could have sex with one another. James kept glancing at Lily, who was sitting next to Remus. He was too aware of her presence and was having difficulty eating and was a bit mortified at the topic his friends were discussing.
"All I'm saying," Sirius said as he shoved another forkful of potato into his mouth, "is if Nick can change his outfits, he can totally shag the Grey Lady."
"Yeah," Peter agreed. "I reckon Sirius is right."
"You always reckon Sirius is right," Remus pointed out, stabbing his steak-and-kidney pie with unnecessary aggression. "All I'm saying is they're ghosts. They would just walk through each other. They can't even eat."
Lily was giving them a strange look but wasn't saying anything. James wanted to interrupt and start talking about something not quite as embarrassing or weird but couldn't for the life of him think of anything. So the conversation continued for another ten minutes. Peter switched sides about a dozen times, Sirius and Remus were both red-faced and grinning, and James and Lily both remained quiet.
"Lily," Sirius finally said, turning to her, "what do you think?"
Her eyes grew wide with shock at being dragged into the stupid dispute. "Well," she said slowly. "I think ghosts make the most of their situation but when it comes down to it, they're dead and that means they can't take pleasure in the same things living humans can. So I don't think they can have sex."
"Yes," said Remus triumphantly, raising a fist in the air.
Sirius harrumphed and crossed his arms across his chest. "Fine," he said moodily. "Take Moony's side."
Apparently, Lily's word was the end of the debate and so Sirius switched gears and asked, "So, I know why we," he said, gesturing to the four boys, "stayed at old Hoggy, but why did you?"
"Oh. My family went on vacation so I decided it would be better if I just stayed here," Lily replied. James automatically knew she wasn't being honest. Lily has gone home for Christmas break and every year; if they wanted to go on vacation, they would take her. He knew he would be pressing his luck if he called her out, though, so he stuffed food into his mouth before he could say something stupid.
"Where'd they go," Peter asked.
"Pardon?"
"You said your family went on vacation…"
"Oh, right. Yes. They went to Italy."
"I used to have a Great Aunt in Italy," James said, speaking for the first time since he got to the table. He wanted to change the topic to something Lily might not be so uncomfortable with. "She would always send me the strangest birthday presents…"
"What classifies as weird for you, Prongs," Remus asked.
"I dunno she had a weird fascination for muggle stuff. More than Padfoot, even. Sent me an eyelash curler once… I thought it was a torture weapon before my mum explained it to me. Dunno why she thought I'd need one though, my lashes are perfect."
They all laughed, including Lily, and James felt his heart swell.
"They're not as good as mine," Sirius said, batting his lashes to stress his point. This made them all laugh harder.
"Padfoot," Remus said as he calmed down. "We all know you have the prettiest lashes."
"Hey," James exclaimed.
"Thank you, Moony," Sirius grinned. "It's good to be appreciated."
After that, conversation flowed much more naturally between all five of them, going from topic to topic. James felt slightly more relaxed about Lily's presence and was able to get through the remainder of his meal without spilling his pumpkin juice all over the place.
"So Lily," Peter said after a short lull. "Will you be joining our epic Christmas snowball fight?"
"I wasn't aware there was going to be one," she said, her green eyes still shining with laughter from the joke Sirius just told about a ghoul and banshee.
"There's always one," Peter boasted.
"You can be on Moony and Wormtail's team since they usually lose," James said. "They could use an extra set of arms."
"I'm not sure…"
"Nonsense," Sirius said. "You ate dinner with us. You don't really have a choice in the matter." The four boys got up and looked at Lily expectantly. Under the gaze of the boys who called themselves the marauders, she too rose from her seat at the table.
"'m not properly dressed," she tried weakly.
"Neither are we," Sirius said. "We'll head to our dorms, grab our cloaks, and reconvene in the Common Room, yeah?"
"Alright then."
J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L J&L
Five shots to the face and you were out. The only other rule was absolutely no magic allowed. Everything else was a free-for-all.
James sat hunched behind the small fort he and Sirius built as the two tried to come up with a new plan of attack. Even though it was true the pair had won almost every snowball fight together, they were at a huge disadvantage by letting the other team have an extra player. Plus, Lily was a genius and hated James so really, he had no idea what he was thinking when he let her be on the other team.
"Padfoot are you even listening," he asked. Sirius was gathering up snow and making as many snowballs as he possibly could.
"'Course I am. I know how to multitask," he replied, not bothering to look up from his pile of snowballs. "I still think our best action is for you to sneak over to enemy territory, kiss Evans, and distract them while I come in for the kill."
"I'm not kissing Evans," James said, his face growing warm despite the temperature.
"Why not? I know you want to."
"Yes, but she doesn't want me to. She hates me."
"I thought you said you guys were studying again. That's all you could talk about the two minutes we were in our dorm."
"That doesn't mean she likes me. That just means she needs help with Transfiguration."
"So 'study buddies' isn't a euphemism?"
"Merlin, no!" If James had any doubt about the color of his face, before, this just confirmed it. He stuck his head out of the fort quickly to see if there was any life from the others but all he could see was their fort, innocently hiding the three from sight.
"That's disappointing. Anyway, ready?"
"For what?"
"To put the plan to action!"
"I told you, I'm not snogging Evans!"
"Not that one, the other one." But before James could properly process what Sirius said, he felt movement next to him and Sirius stood up, shouting, "FOR DUMBLEDORE!" He charged at the other fort, his arm filled with snowballs. Scrambling to keep up, James scooped up a bunch of snowballs, hopped up, and joined Sirius' ambush.
They were immediately met with snowballs being launched at them. Sirius, having had a head start, reached the fort first and knocked it down, showering the other team with snow. Then, they were face to face with their enemies. No mercy was shown as snowball after snowball was released. James could barely see, his glasses were covered in half-melted snow, but he trudged on, determined to take them out.
Peter was the first down, begging for a truce.
"I call Moony," Sirius shouted. James turned to see his two friends tackling each other and shoving their faces in the snow. His laughter was cut short by a snowball straight to the face. He was greeted with a smiling Lily, approaching him slowly and deliberately. His smile slid off his face at the sight of Lily heading towards him with a smirk on her face. He swallowed and tried to focus. He knew she was most likely holding a snowball behind her back. He knew they were in the middle of a war and she was the enemy. He knew he should be making another snowball or retreating or coming up with something.
He knew he should not be staring at the way her hips swung as she walked.
He swore she was doing it on purpose, to distract him, and hell was it working.
That damn smirk was still on her face when she finally reached him. He swallowed again and stared down into her gorgeous green eyes. His head spun as he breathed in the scent of vanilla and coconut and Lily. She was so close and his mind went back to that one night in fifth year…
She pushed him and he stumbled backward, landing in the snow on his butt. Lily smashed a snowball right in face before laughing with glee and running toward Remus.
"You got the last two face shots," He asked excitedly.
"Yes! We won! We won!" Remus got up, ran toward Lily, and lifted her up in the air, twirling her around. Peter came running toward them as well. Even though he was already out, he still celebrated in their victory.
Sirius came slouching over to James, completely covered in snow.
"Never should have let her join," he said dejectedly.
James looked up from his seat on the ground. "Funnily enough, I don't mind losing if it's losing to Evans."
o0o0o0o
AN: So, what do you think; can ghosts have sex? (I asked my bf what's something they would argue about and when he said that I almost died because yes, ghost sex is definitely something the marauders discussed at some point)
Don't forget to review, fav, follow, share, etc to show your love! Thank you so much for reading!
