Word limits suck so here's a better summary: Willow had never really liked being called "Red". She thought it was a bit redundant, with her hair generally being around to make the point on its own. But now... she was starting to like that name. It reminded her of blood. Of the pain that came with blood. She liked that thought. Besides, can any Vampire really help but love the color? Willow is turned, and suddenly, the Scoobies' world is also turned upside down. Who is this person, and can she ever be the Willow they knew and loved? Can Buffy stand to mourn and fight at the same time - with the same person? How far can emotions blur the line between humanity and a demon?
AU Post-Seeing Red. Heavy Willow/Tara focus.

How the canon has changed in Seeing Red:
Warren was unable to escape on his jetpack after the attempted back-robbery and confrontation with Buffy (I'd imagine she probably just threw something at the jetpack to make it malfunction). As would logically follow, neither Buffy nor Tara got shot, Dark Willow never came into existence, and the nerd squad got locked up in prison for a good while. It would seem that the Big Bad has been defeated, and all's well in the world!
Spike's disappeared out of town, and no one really knows if he'll come back (whether or not this is because of the attempt in Seeing Red is unclear, it depends on if I want to deal with that issue as the story progresses. Whether or not he comes back is also unclear, as this story starts early in the summer between S6 and S7.)

Previously On: (aka, how our characters have changed since Seeing Red, and where we meet them at the start of this tale)
Xander and Anya are in a bit of a weird place. Both are still deeply hurt by the other's actions (though some more justified that others), but they've come to accept having to deal with each other's presence... The bonding moments otherwise seen in Two to Go have still happened, but just in different circumstances.
Buffy's feeling up to living for the first time since coming back. Assume that her mental state (and her relationship with Dawn) are as they were in Grave, but because of different circumstances. She has maintained her close bond with Willow (which was otherwise strained in the canon S6 finale), and has expanded on her friendship with Tara, who has often been her emotional bedrock.
Willow and Tara are still together, but Willow's been finding it harder to keep with the magic sobriety now that her recovered relationship has lulled her into a false sense of security. She hasn't slipped, and she tells herself she won't slip, but she does hate feeling so powerless. It's quite a bit harder to keep up now that the goal has changed from "until Tara forgives me" to "until forever" (at least subconsciously). She's determined to keep at it, but Goddess does she miss it sometimes... As she encounters more and more dangerous situations in her time with the Slayer, the temptation to tap back into the magic "to defend herself" becomes harder and harder to resist. Until she finds she can't resist anymore.


:: Chapter 1: Dust ::


Willow came to the conclusion that she was a fucking idiot.

A growling vampire stood a few feet in front of her, seemingly untouched by the scuffle they'd been having for the past few minutes. Willow could feel her knees weaken under her, and she leaned against the alley wall for support. She was cornered; she was broken. With pants so desperate they hurt her chest, Willow looked around at her friends for help, but she knew none could come. Buffy was just barely keeping her own against the three vampires that were circling her, and Xander… she could hardly tell if he was knocked out or dead… I guess I'll find out in a bit, won't I? she thought to herself dryly.

Here she was, thinking she could hold her own against this guy, unprepared to the highest degree. In a moment of adrenaline and courage, she'd tried to distract one of the vamps that had just ambushed them – more specifically Buffy – leading him into a connecting alley, and readying herself to finally rekindle her magicks. Thinking back, she realized that was probably a big part of her being a fucking idiot. After nearly half a year without touching the magicks, she had finally found the chance to justify feeling that power again, albeit in a life-or-death scenario. How could she resist that power? How could she let her friend be outnumbered and cornered when she knew she could help? How could she push back the crackle of magic that she had felt on her fingertips?

She was such a fucking idiot.

The man in front of her grinned with excitement, sensing her weakness. In the end she had barely been able to touch him, her magicks having both withered away with lack of use, and leaving her body an aching mess. Tears left her eyes as she realized that it had been her own weakness, her own foolishness at underestimating the temptation of relapse, that would finally get her killed… Tara, she thought longingly as the vampire moved ever closer, trapping her against the wall. Thoughts of her reunited lover filled her head, along with the realization that she would never see her again, fueling her with newfound determination and overwhelming anger. She would not let this thing take her love away! They should have been forever, and Willow would gladly die fighting for that forever.

Sharp pain enveloped her body as she felt teeth sink into her neck, harder than any love bite she had ever received. There was no love in this, only darkness and evil, slowly sucking away the life from her. With an angry, desperate growl, Willow decided she would return the favor, and chomped down on the man's shoulder, trying to do as much damage as she possibly could. She tasted blood, and felt the man yelp and withdraw for just a second. Just a second, as it turned out, was not enough for her to break free, as her feeble pushes and squirms were no match for even the weakest vampire, further weakened as she was by being bitten. Instead of freedom, Willow was greeted only by a sinister chuckle, and the introduction of a cold hand that forcibly held her face to the bitten shoulder.

As Willow felt the flowing blood of the undead fill her mouth and threaten to choke, a distant part of her realized what was happening, making the most pathetic attempts at retreat. The pain at her neck had returned, and she was quickly losing her remaining strength, along with her consciousness. She swallowed whatever the liquid was that flooded her mouth, desperately grasping at the last threads of life.

Tara…


Buffy dodged what could have been a fatal lunge from the last vampire, instead making Mr. Pointy the target of his jump and propelling the stake into his heart. Dusted. She took a moment to calm her breath after the encounter, which took far longer than it should have. Need to start training again… she thought as adrenaline and a hint of fear still coursed through her veins. She looked around for her friends after collecting herself, concerned particularly about Xander, who she'd last seen being thrown onto a concrete wall and collapsing to the ground. Poor Xand, she lamented, this was just supposed to be a cheerful trip to the Bronze, but now looked like it would evolve to be a much less cheery trip to the Emergency Ward... She sighed in relief as she saw him slowly regaining consciousness on the other side of the alley, and diverted her attention to where she'd last seen Willow.

Oh God. Willow…

She saw slivers of red laying on a man's shoulder, motionless, being held up only by the arms of the monster buried in her neck… Her hands lay limply at her sides, swaying as if they'd just recently lost the battle against gravity. For a second Buffy couldn't move. She wanted to puke. She wanted to die. She could feel the color drain from her face, and the stake fall to the ground at her side. She stared, speechless, as the vampire retreated his attack on the redhead's neck with a proud grin. She watched as Willow's head rolled around like a ragdoll, white as the ghost costume she's once worn years ago, the warmth drained from her body…

And then the anger came.

In just a second she had the vampire pinned to the ground, stake headed for his chest. From the corner of her eye, she could see Willow… Willow's body… lifelessly drop to the ground. This time she could feel the vomit coming, but it wasn't nearly as strong as the rage that still enveloped her. Even after the vampire under her had tuned to dust, Buffy continued her attack on the ground, relentlessly driving the stake into the spot where the vampire had been. She could feel the tears go down her cheek with each plunge, until she found herself curled on the ground, crying over the dust of the demon who had killed her best friend. To anyone else, her curled, shaking figure would resemble the prostration of a devout believer, but the screaming thoughts in Buffy's head were far from appreciative of the Gods.

"Aaagh… Buff, you okay?" she heard Xander groan from where he'd fallen, his voice barely making through the turmoil in her mind as a muffled whisper. With a start, she quickly collected herself from the ground, making her way to Willow as she fought to silence her own mind. No, there were more important things than her own pain right now; there was Xander. She didn't want to imagine what would happen if he saw her like that, splayed on the ground like a used toy. She couldn't. Buffy straightened the other girl into her arms, her tears thankfully blurring her vision as her eyes fixed on the bite worn on the redhead's neck. The bite Buffy had let happen... If she had only been a second quicker…

"Oh god." She heard a whisper, "Oh. GOD." Xander ran towards the blonde once she'd come into view, kneeling next to the cradled body. "Will? Will?", Buffy let him grab the redhead by the shoulders and shake her roughly, watched him hope for a sign of life from his oldest friend. She didn't have the heart to tell him herself. She barely had the breath to tell him anything through the sobs…

"No. No way, this can't be…" Xander's voice broke as he stopped shaking Willow, and he instead grabbed at her wrist, his breath catching as he felt the still pulse. Buffy jumped as he snatched Willow from her arms, laying her on the ground and doing CPR on her still body. "Come on Willow, COME ON!", he yelled as he continued his futile attempts at revival. Buffy couldn't stand to watch him after a few minutes, grabbing him firmly by the shoulder as he went in to breathe into her again.

"Xander…" was all she could whisper before her voice broke. An unexpected, grainy texture greeted her when she squeezed his shoulder, and the Slayer finally noticed the layer of vampire dust that was coating her hands and forehead, sticking to the sweat. For a second she felt disgusted that any part of that demon could be on her body – filled with the need to bathe in bleach and burn her skin off to rid herself of contact with the dust. Then the second passed, and in the one that followed she almost felt good. As if she was covered in the proof of her revenge; coated in the blood of her best friend's killer. And for that second it made her feel strong. In control; ridding her of the powerlessness that had filled her entire being. She let the Slayer take over and revel in the kill, and for an idle moment, she wondered whether the dust would turn into mud in conjunction with her sweat.

"NO!" The sudden throaty yell brought her out of the confines of her mind, and the feeling of strength and satisfaction were ripped away from her as quickly as they had been given. As her eyes refocused on the spot where her hand had lay, she stared at the flecks of wet dust that now stained the shoulder of Xander's shirt. She wondered if that stain would ever come out… "She's not- she can't be! She can't. WILLOW!" Xander dutifully continued his attempts to revive the body in his arms, tears racing down his face, and at this point Buffy knew not to stop him. At this point, she knew his actions were more out of the grief of powerlessness than genuine hope. This was his dust. And he needed to let it replace the aching emptiness for as long as it would. She wouldn't rob him of that.

Buffy grabbed her stake and stood up, wiping away at her forehead, and for once her mind was silent. She knew what to do. She had to be the strong one for him, and Dawn and… God, Tara. She had to bite back her sobs and gulp down her tears for their sake. She was the Slayer after all; death was her gift…


A/N As far as what you can expect from this story, be ready for plenty of melodrama like that (probably). That's just how my writing style is, I like my wordy explorations of characters. Other than that, for the plot itself, there will be some delicious Vamp Willow action, and a story arc similar to Willow's canonical arc with magic in S7 (I might loosely follow some conon S7 arcs involving First, but mostly this is a story where our characters and their emotions are the Big Bads...) As far as characters go I'll be focusing on Buffy, Willow and Tara for the most part, as they have some of the more interesting deep reactions to the plot imo. This is a Willow/Tara-centric fic, so keep that in mind. Feel free to review, I'd love to hear your thoughts! I provide compensation in the form of sneak peaks to the upcoming chapter :)