Picture Perfect

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So… my writer group had a challenge to actually make us write for once instead of bitching about not writing… the theme was Rusame and car sex. So obviously I had to make them get it on in a Civic 1999. It's probably a hatchback. Because we've all been in some dude's shitty car with the speakers all loose in the back or without a rear window… dedicated to all of the cars who are actual turn offs and all of our awkward teenage years. Anyway, enjoy reading!

Rating: 18+

Pairing: Russia/America

Warning: car sex, taking pictures, ect… yeah no one dies for once!

Disclaimer: I totally own Hetalia. Not even joking. I swear.

Notes: Also posted on my tumblr (elucubrxtions) and ao3 (spankreich). If it's anywhere else, it was stolen.

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How did he even end up here with Ivan anyway?

Alfred was still more than surprised he was going out with the tallest asshole possible each time he thought about it. Dad always told him it wasn't a good guy for him – but fuck Dad. He was a teenager… this didn't need to last. He wasn't some boring sack like Matthew, who did everything to make their mommies proud and went out with only people he thought he could marry. Really – it was 2016. Who the fuck still dated with that in mind? At seventeen, it was time to have fun, or he'd end up an old drunk like Gilbert.

"I got a surprise for you, comski," Alfred said, grinning, looking at Ivan from the passenger seat of his old Civic 1999. Ivan wasn't the stereotypical douchebag deep down… but Civic often lied about their owners, it seemed. Alfred wished his parents would buy him a Tiburon or a Mustang, but these two assholes kept saying he needed to work for a car.

"Why do you refuse to call me by my first name?" Ivan rolled his eyes, pushing his ash blonde hair out of his face as he gave a look to the back seat, then Alfred's annoying grin. "Look, let's get to the backseat. I'm sure you didn't ask me to drive in the middle of nowhere to show me your amazing science grades."

Alfred pouted. Alright, maybe he had bragged a little too much about that… Moving to the back, the American let his boyfriend climb over him, kissing him with a little giggle. "Sorry, man. My dad's kind of a dick." Mom… well, Mom was a weird one – she made dirty jokes all the time, flustering Dad just like she loved to see him. All his friends made jokes about fucking her all the time, which was… weird, even though he could definitely that she was a total babe, but she was still his mother.

"I guessed, if he doesn't even want me to come. What are you, six?"

Alfred glared, pulling him close to kiss him. "Shut the fuck up. He's not so bad. He'll stop being a cunt soon enough." Probably. But Arthur could be terribly stubborn. "Anyway, are we there to talk about how much of a dick my dad is? Because I thought we were here so I can get it."

Ivan laughed, barely fitting on the tiny back bench of the Civic, but kissed him again.

Fumbling around a little to find the best position, they finally decided the best way to go was to push the front sea forward and lower them, just to give their legs some space – after all, they were both taller than average, especially Ivan – he looked much too big for that tiny car… Sitting on his boyfriend's wide, comfortable laps. His cock was already hard against his hip. Alfred bit his lips, toying with its impressive length, cackling at a pitiful moan from the other, earning him a hard pinch to his nipple.

Some lube and preparation was always needed – Ivan was just so big, and Alfred wasn't afraid to call himself a size queen anymore. The thin line of pain and pleasure was definitely his favourite and Ivan could get so, so deep inside him… It made him excited each time. Surely he'd miss that piece of meat if they were to break up… hopefully, at least some of the other fishes of the sea had such a big caudal fin.

Sinking on Ivan's prick, the American let his head roll back, bouncing on his laps gently to ease himself in his newfound favourite sport, feeling the cold leather of Ivan's windbreaker against his heated back. The low ceiling of the car almost forced the Slav to kiss and bite his neck, leaving him a noisy mess under his teeth and tongue.

Fisting his hand into the other man's hair, the teen pulled his iPhone up, feeling a jolt of Ivan's hips as the sound of a shutter resonated in the car, followed by a quick laugh.

"Really, Jones? You… you like looking back to yourself getting fucked like a hoe?" Ivan's accent resonated in every words, making Alfred moan at the idea of the commie taking him, talking to him like this.

"Fu-fuck you!" Taking another picture, Alfred could feel himself tip right over the edge, almost at the same time as his lover, eyes closed, the sound of each pictures taken almost finishing him.

Ivan pulled him off of him, covering him with a blanket he kept – the air conditioned was broken since he had bought the damn car –, lying next to him as Alfred watched him, as if to dare him to stop him as he sleepily opened the Tumblr app, posting each pictures to his blog. Ivan rolled his eyes, pinching him again.

"Attention whore."

"You bet, comski."

Ivan shook his head, ignoring him as he reached into his pants to scroll through his apps in the post coital bliss, staying silent for a second as Alfred decided to play some Neko Atsume, enjoying his boyfriend's warmth, tasting one of these rare moments of intimacy…

"Uh, Alfred?"

What the fuck now, again? "Yes, I know Neko Atsume is dumb, wha—"

"No, it's not about that!" Showing him his dim-lit Samsung, Alfred noticed the problem before Ivan even spoke, his voice sounding even more panicked than before.

"Did you really just post this on fucking Facebook?!"

His phone rang. Heart hammering in his chest, Alfred looked at the number on the screen.

Dad. With a skull emoji. And an angry emoji.

He was literally fucked.