Based on the song Last Name by I think Kelly Clarkson. It's a good song. I recommend it. Just a one shot unless I get lots of reviews. Hint hint.
Last Name
Kisuke's Inn was a large two-building, the entire first floor taken up by the main dining room/bar and a kitchen in the back, the second-story the actual rooms. It was one of the largest buildings in all of Karakura, second only to the courthouse (which was also the mayor's office andsds pretty much the seat of all governmental business for Karakura), which said more for the town than for the inn.
Urahara Kisuke was a mysterious man to strangers and just plain weird to those who knew him. He employed his two children (?) to serve and a large man named Tessai to cook. He also managed to rope in whatever help her could from 'friends' and 'freeloaders'.
He was currently using several more people officially to help and even more unofficially. Because he was currently the only business open.
Which meant that everyone in town was there. And not only everyone in town, but a large number of soldiers. Which was why everyone was there.
Let me explain.
The Hollows were a foreign invading army that had plagued all of Soul Society for ages. The Gotei 13 was a special army of elite members called the Shinigami (Soul Reapers or Death Gods) who fought against them. This eternal conflict had been going on for – well – eternity.
Then, everything changed when Aizen left.
Aizen was the Betrayer, and had left for the Hollows, becoming their general and launching a full-scale war against all of Soul Society. As such, the Gotei 13 had been forced to take in civilian troops to aid in the war. Which meant that it was no longer just Seireitei's problem, but everyone's problem.
Now, coming back to Kisuke's Inn, we find a party going on. This was not a celebration of the end of the war. Not really. See, the soldiers that were passing through, were on their way to a predetermined spot, supposedly out in the middle of nowhere, to mount one last large attack against the Hollows. The war had been dragging on for many years now and General Yamamoto had decided on one last stand.
Karakura was really having a wake, one last farewell for the soldiers who weren't really expected to survive. Which was most of them.
Well, almost everyone was there for that reason. There was a small group of young adults, barely into their adulthood that were there for a slightly more personal reason.
"Happy birthday Karin and Yuzu! And may you have many more!" Kentarou, one of Karin's best friend raised his cup of sake. The people around this particular table all raised their own cups full of various liquids before drinking.
The birthday girl was safely drinking a non-alcoholic juice. Her friends were not. The night was young and Karin wanted to remember it.
"Karin, now that you are of age, there is something that I need to ask you." Kentarou had a serious expression but they could all see the playful glint in his eye. He walked over to her and knelt on one knee. Karin's twin (who looks and acts nothing like her) gasped excitedly.
"Karin, will you marry me?" He pulled out a wooden ring, obviously self-carved just for this occasion.
"I'd rather gouge my eyes out with that ring than marry a git like you." Laughter erupted around the table. Their laughter matched the general merriment of the whole Inn.
Kentarou turned to Yuzu. "How about-"
"No." The usually sweet Yuzu was surprisingly firm. Double-rejected, Kentarou pretended to sulk before he burst out laughing with the rest of them.
"Seriously though you two," Ryohei spoke up. "You can totally get married now."
"And since every person in town is here right now, you can have your pick of the litter." Heita grinned.
"There isn't a single soul in all of Karakura that I could stomach even the thought of being with, much less marrying." Karin's quick response set them off again.
"Then why don't you look at some of our visitors?" It was Yuzu who spoke, which surprised Karin. Yuzu was calmly sipping her own drink, a safe juice like Karin. She had on a surprisingly coy grin.
Karin peered at her suspiciously. "Did someone spike your drink?" She asked dully.
Yuzu laughed.
Kei spoke over the roar of the Inn. "You did say not a soul in Karakura! That doesn't exclude the soldiers passing through." He and Ryohei grinned at each other, nudging elbows. Not all soldiers were male.
As if on cue, Kazuya called out, his eyeglasses flashing in the light. "10 at 2 o'clock."
Every male at the table whipped around, and dropped their jaws as an extremely well-endowed strawberry-blond female with a way too open uniform walked past, a new bottle of sake in her raised arm, cheeks flushed from who knows how many drinks previous.
"You know, I never know why you bother looking at 10s." Karin sipped her drink. "She wouldn't notice the lot of you if you were the last people in world."
"That's why we look, Karin-chan." Ryohei spoke with a pained expression and voice, none of them looking at Karin. "It's all we can do."
They all watched as she made her way, surprisingly steady for someone who acted as drunk as she did, to a table that looked like higher up officers sat. The Inn was too crowded for Karin to see who was at the table clearly but they looked like they were enjoying the party as much as the female that had just walked over.
"You're all idiots. People like you are the reason why I've given up on the idea of relationships. Guys are stupid."
The bosomy woman hidden by the crowd, her friends turned back to her with protests on their lips. On the other side of the room, a tall, red-haired man had just instigated a fight with a bald man who carried a speak. Karin just shared a grin with Yuzu. Tonight was going to be memorable.
"Hey, Karin!" Kentarou got her attention. "Wha' you drinking?" He slurred.
The party had been going on for quite some time now. The sun had set a long time ago. People were starting to drop from too much sake.
"I think it's some kind of mango/peach juice. It's pretty good actually. Want some?" Karin grinned and offered her half-empty cup. She and Yuzu had been enjoying the drunken antics of their friends and fellow villagers.
Kentarou looked down-right offended. "I's your birfday, woban! You're …" He thought hard, looking slightly constipated doing so. "… older." He finished, not remembering exactly how old she was supposed to be. "Old enough" He added with nod, taking another swig of his own sake.
"Old enough for what, Kentarou?" Karin raised an eyebrow.
"To drink!" He shouted, like it was obvious. He emphasized this point with another drink of his own.
Karin laughed as he almost fell off his chair from leaning too far back. "You're really selling me on, Ken-chan!"
"Even, *hic* even I've tried it *hic* Karin-chan. *hic*." Yuzu stumbled back over to the table. She had left earlier to talk with some of her own female friends and had returned with flushed cheeks and a lost equilibrium.
"Jus' one drink, 'Rin-chan!" Kentarou somehow stumbled over to Karin and tried to pour sake into her juice. He emptied the whole bottle but most of it landed on the table or the floor.
Pleased with his 'success', he gave her a grin. "Now!" He turned to the few remaining members of the table, most were passed out. He held himself steady by gripping Karin's chair tightly. "A toast! To… to… " He looked around for something to toast to.
"To opportunities! *hic*" Yuzu supplied, giggling.
Karin raised an eyebrow. She wasn't really tempted. There antics had actually turned her off of even trying it. But both Kentarou and Yuzu were way too close for comfort and were looking at her eagerly, waiting for to try it.
"Fine." She grumbled. She tentatively raised the cup and after a deep breath, took a sip.
Everyone (meaning Kentarou and Yuzu) cheered. Satisfied, they actually left.
Karin's impression of sake was that it was on odd flavor that slightly burned her throat. The juice helped it slide down but left it with an even stranger taste. The only conscious member at the table now, and with a spiked drink, Karin gazed around the Inn with a bored expression.
Until her eyes caught sea-green eyes several tables down.
"Taicho~!" Matsumoto Rangiku in her drunken glory tried to lean down and hug her shorter, white-haired captain from behind. All she managed to do was send him face-first into the table, to the amusement of the other officers.
The party was in full-swing now and the other occupants of the table were enjoying themselves immensely.
"Leiutenant! You better get off him. I'm not sure he can breathe!" Captain Kyoraku laughed, gesturing with his sake cup to the tuft of white hair that was peeking out from beneath Matsumoto's huge chest.
She got off with a laugh. Then laughed harder when she saw the angry expression that was off-set by the large red mark on his forehead. Turquoise eyes narrowed as he growled threateningly, "Matsumoto…"
"It's a party, Captain! Drink! Have some fun! Find a girl and get freaky!" She cheered and toasted her own words, taking a large gulp from her sake bottle.
The other captains laughed at Hitsugaya's twitching eye.
"It would do you some good to have a little fun, Toushiro-kun." The other white-haired captain raised his own cup. His white hair was straight and hung down, unlike his shorter counterpart whose hair had forgotten what gravity was.
"We leave in the morning. I doubt a hangover will be a comfortable travelling companion." He sniffed and took a sip of his water.
"Ah, Shiro-chan, that's exactly why you need to relax!" Captain Kyoraku spoke up from above his cup, his obnoxious pink kimono over his uniform catching the eyes of those that passed behind him. "It's the last bit of fun for a while. And it's on the town's bill!" A cheer rose up from all around the Inn at his words. Or perhaps it was because Lieutenant Abarai was now in a drunken brawl with Sergeant Ikkaku.
"Loosen up! Flirt! Have a drink!" Kyoraku tried to nudge Hitsugaya. He received a glare in return.
"He's going to need to have a drink before he could even think about flirting!" Matsumoto laughed drunkenly.
They all laughed at the prospect or a drunk and/or flirting Hitsugaya.
"Seriously though, Shiro-kun. You should find someone. You're young! You came of age, what was it, a little over a year ago? You could find a pretty little thing, settle down, get married, have little white-haired babies!" Kyoraku teased. "Or just stick with the first part." This got more laughs.
Hitsugaya ignored them all and continued to sip his juice. He did not notice that Matsumoto had slipped a few drops of sake into his drink. Neither did he notice the increasing amount of alcohol as the night progressed. Or maybe the increasing amount had something to do with his lack of attention.
Most everyone was passed out now. Either from the alcohol or the brawl that had spread till most of the furniture was knocked over if not broken and several soldiers were spending their night nursing a concussion.
Hitsugaya was drunk. His cheeks were very flushed and he had stopped speaking a while ago because his words had started to slur together. Everyone else at his table were either passed out or moved on to more wild parts of the celebration. Ukitake had excused himself to his room due to not feeling well.
His eyes wondered around the room. He would have been upset with how all his soldiers and officers were behaving but the alcohol had done its job and now he didn't care. It was funny, actually.
Then his eyes caught sight of a pair of dark eyes.
Karin watched as the startling green eyes made their way through the crowded Inn. It was mostly steady but there was definite drunken lurch to the walk. For some reason, Karin was nervous as the young (and very handsome though she pretended not to notice) man walked over to her table.
She wasn't sure what to do. So she took another sip.
A part of Toushiro's brain was reprimanding himself for walking over to the pair of pretty eyes but apparently his internal ears were muffled by the alcohol as he kept going.
They were really pretty eyes. And they had a pretty face to match.
He saw a delicate hand raise a cup and pink lips take a long drink. Unconsciously, Toushiro licked his lips.
It's said that the best stories begin with alcohol. Whether this story could be called 'the best' was up for debate, but it did have plenty of alcohol.
We won't go too much into detail about the first meeting. Suffice to say, it involved some embarrassingly honest confessions of beauty and blushing and nervous drinking and more blushing as the more sober of the pair caught up with the more drunken of the pair.
And then lots of awkward, drunken 'flirting' between both inexperienced members. And perhaps a drunken kiss. Or two. Or more.
And maybe there was a harsh whisper and invitation to go to a more private place.
And that, my friends, is where the already drunken mistake became even worse. But that is private so we shall skip over to the following morning.
Histugaya groaned. He had died. He was sure of it. No one could possibly survive this pain. His head was apparently the home of a whole company of troops who were were trying to escape his skull with their rifles and swords. His mouth was dry, as if someone had stuffed it full of cotton overnight.
And he was sore. And there was a banging on his door. Except the banging reverberated through his whole being like cannon-fire. He groaned even louder.
"Captain Hitsugaya! The company is leaving in thirty minutes! Are you ready?" Matsumoto's voice sounded way too happy for morning time.
"Go away!" Came the muffled reply. Matsumoto laughed and left. It was her fault after all.
Blasted duty. Hitsugaya rolled out of bed, barely catching himself on his hands and knees on the floor. That's when he noticed something extremely odd.
He was naked.
His hungover mind thought very slowly. Why was he naked? Then, slowly, horror filled him. Painstakingly slowly, Hitsugaya turned towards the bed and peeked over the edge.
On the other side of the bed, nestled deep under the covers, was a figure. A female figure.
A decidedly naked female figure.
He was up, dressed, packed and out of that room in five minutes. He panted heavily as he leaned against the door he had just exited through, his eyes wide.
"Ah! Hitsugaya-kun! Good mor-" Ukitake's greeting was cut short at Hitsugaya's out of character yelp and jump. He whirled on the startled, older captain.
"Sorry, Hitsugaya-kun." Ukitake apologized, confused. "I didn't mean to startle you. I was just…" He cocked his head as he took in the discheveled, hurried state of his uniform, the blood-shot eyes, and most importantly, the hair that looked like fingers had been run through it all night long.
There was a moment of silence as they stared at each other.
"Hitsugaya-kun?" A slow smile was making its way across Ukitake's face. "Did you-"
Toushiro straightened, masking his expression to cool indifference. He straightened his uniform a little more before grabbing his bag.
"Good morning." He nodded to Ukitake with as much grace as possible. Which was difficult because now the other captain was trying to stifle his laughter in an attempt to be polite.
"Toushiro. Did you have a nightly visitor last night?" He gave a knowing grin.
Hitsugaya sniffed. "I don't know what you mean." Blatantly ignoring the captain's expression.
"Oh?" Ukitake raised an eyebrow and stepped closer to the door to Hitsugaya room. "So if check your room…" He reached out a hand to the doorknob but was stopped by a rather forceful Hitsugaya jumping in front of him, slamming against the door. His expression was murderous.
"You'll see nothing." He hissed between clenched teeth.
Ukitake sniggered but backed off. "Right." He walked past Hitsugaya and headed for the stairs. "Well, come Captain." He said slyly. Hitsugaya heard his parting remark of "Again." But chose to ignore it for his own sanity's sake.
With a deep sigh and a nervous backwards glance at the door, Hitsugaya followed the other captain, to his waiting troops.
Karin was startled awake by a loud thump against the door, as if someone had slammed against it. She groaned at the pounding of her head, like a hundred little Oyaji's were bouncing around, swinging hammers. And she was so unbelievably sore.
"Make it stop." She moaned, her voice raspy from the dryness of her throat and mouth. She pulled her pillow over her head, which did nothing because the pounding was inside her head.
She heard a surprising amount of footsteps going back and forth on the other side of her door. What was that stupid father of her doing?
She lifted her head to shout angrily at her father but the yell faltered in her dry throat as she took in her room.
Or rather, the fact that it wasn't her room.
It was a room in the Inn. She had cleaned enough of them during summers to recognize one when she saw it. With a gasp and dawning horror, she looked down at herself.
Naked as the day she was born.
Well, crap.
The room was empty, a few drawers still open from the occupant's haste to empty them. For that, Karin was grateful. She had never had a one-night stand. It had been something she had been proud of actually.
Karin was extremely upset with herself. Upset and angry. She had always sworn to herself that she would save herself for her wedding night.
She felt like such a- a- a dirty person, she thought lamely. The footsteps had died down behind her door. The window was covered with a thick curtain but Karin could tell that it was still too early for the sun to have fully risen.
She got out of bed, holding the sheets around her like a cape. She went to the window and peeked outside.
The shock and horror had been a sufficient method of sobering her up, which was good because the first rays of sunshine hit her face as she peeked outside. The army had finished gathering themselves and were starting to head out, out of town and towards the battlefront.
She saw a flash of white and quickly drew back, making sure the curtain covered the window to prevent anyone from seeing her.
She waited till the last wagon had pulled out on to the main road before she quickly found her clothes and dressed, blushing horribly when she had to extract her bra from a chair across the room and her underwear from under the bed.
Modest and thoroughly embarrassed, she peeked out into the hall. It appeared empty. Thanking Kami for her good fortune, she quickly slipped out and snuck downstairs. That's where her fortune ran out.
"Kurosaki-chan." It was Ururu, the quiet, odd daughter (?) of the owner, walking up the stairs carrying an armload of clean sheets.
Karin froze.
"Hey… Ururu-chan." She said uncomfortably. Ururu tilted her head to her side.
"What are you doing here so early?"
Karin blinked. She couldn't guess?
"Umm… I fell asleep… on accident last night."
"I see. Be safe going home." And with that, Ururu walked past her to continue her chores.
After a shocked second while Karin pondered the oddity that was Ururu, she quickly decided to not press her luck and hurried down the stairs and out the side door, thankfully not running into anyone else. She hurried down the street towards her home.
She was just around the corner when she was stopped a second time. This time by a government worker, Tanaka.
"Kurosaki-san! Wait! I need to talk to you!"
Karin paused, confused. What would he want with her?
"I'm sure my Oyaji is home if you need him." Tanaka was clutching a piece of paper and had a very uncomfortable and embarrassed expression.
"I'm afraid it's you I need to have a word with."
"Eh?" Karin turned to give him her full attention.
He stopped in front of her and fidgeted for a little bit. "So, umm, some party last night!" He began awkwardly. "Did you- did you have f-" He cut himself off with a blush and tried again. "I mean, I was, erm, I was just in my office, you know, making sure everything was fine from the party last night. Just a few incidents that had to be recorded, you know how it is."
Karin raised a brow. "I guess." She replied slowly when he paused again, looking anywhere but at her.
"And I found- that is, on my desk was- um." He looked like he might have a hernia from nerves.
"You found something on your desk you wanted me to see?" Karin supplied. She really wanted to get home and shower and drink a gallon of water and then sleep for the rest of her life.
He looked relived that she had picked up on his stutters.
With a deep blush he handed her the paper that he had in his hand.
"I just want to say, I was very drunk last night. I normally would have counseled against such… rash decisions but I was not… in full control of my faculties. I hardly remember it myself."
Karin ignored his ramblings, too intent on the paper she was now looking at, her expression forming an ugly mix between shock, horror, fury, and shame.
And she didn't even know his last name.
They had been marching all through the morning. Toushiro had received many teasing remarks and amused grins from his fellow officers. Throughout it all, he sat ram-rod straight on his horse, pointedly ignoring everyone. His headache had not gone away all morning but he couldn't ask for any kind of pain reliever for fear of another onslaught of jokes and knowing looks.
His step-sister, Hinamori Momo, the sweetest and most innocent person he had ever met had thankfully not heard about his nightly antics, or at least, not understood the innuendoes. She was still recovering from the emotional damage of the betrayal of her captain, Aizen himself, but had been allowed to come because they needed every hand they could spare.
She was riding her own horse next to him. She was mostly quiet, only commenting on aspects of their journey.
Her next question, out of the blue, almost caused Toushiro to fall off his horse in shock.
"Shiro-chan, why do you have one of your officer bands on your finger?"
Toushiro looked down at his finger. His ring finger. On his left hand.
There, gleaming in the sun mockingly, was one of his officer bands. Normally, they were clipped around a strap on his left shoulder, the amount of bands indicating the rank of the wearer.
No bands meant a civilian soldier, one recruited just for the war. One was a private in the Gotei 13, the average Shinigami. 2, a corporal. 3, a sergeant, 4, leuitanent, and 5 bands, meant they were of captain status. There were 13 captains. The General had 6 bands.
To lose one of the bands was a great dishonor. It was usually followed with a strict punishment.
Toushiro gulped and looked at his left shoulder. According to the number of bands, he wasn't a captain, just a mere corporal. Meaning he hadn't just used one band as a ring. He had used two.
Unbidden, a hazy memory surfaced of the previous night.
"What about rings? We can't be married without rings?"
"I have an idea!" Clumsy fingers struggled with the tie one his shoulder. "We'll use these." He held up two metal bands that reflected the lights outside the courthouse.
"Excellent!" A man that apparently worked there, Hitsugaya saw his nameplate by the light of single lantern they used to illuminate the room. Tanaka Akihiro – Licenses and Registrations.
"Just sign and it'll be official!" The man – Tanaka – laughed loudly and very drunkenly.
He signed first, his usual scrawl mostly landing on the dotted line reserved for (Groom). He handed her the pen. They fumbled a little, their usual coordination buried under too much sake. Slowly, with careful deliberation, her tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth in concentration, she aimed the pen for the dotted line reserved for (Bride). It landed mostly on.
"I now pronunce… produce… pro… p – You're married!" The words too difficult for Tanaka alcohol ridden brain, he opted instead for a simpler phrase.
The bride turned to him with a huge grin.
"Wait." He frowned. "You need to sign." He gestured to the line underneath both of their's, reserved for the person who authorized the union.
Tanaka blinked. "Oops." He giggled in a manner that was decidedly unmanly. With an over exaggerated flourish his own signature was soon positioned underneath the official couple's.
"Now you're married!"
Toushiro wasted no time in trying to jam the band on her finger. After a full minute of drunken fumbling, they both proudly held up their recently adorned hands, the metal glowing dimly.
"It's too big." She frowned, her bottom lip pouting slightly. "I'll lose it."
He leaned closer, his lips ghosting across her own. "I'll get you a new one. After the war. A real one." Pacified, her expression lit up as the newly-weds left the office, stumbling their way back to the Inn and into his room, ready to make their marriage official in another way.
Hitsugaya, did another thing that he didn't do. In uniform, in full view of all his troops, next to his step-sister, and very loudly, he swore.
Colorfully.
It wasn't until Karin had somehow managed to make it to her house, gulping down glass after glass of water and was in her bathroom undressing so she could take a very hot shower, did she realize something else. Two things actually.
The first was that she was sporting a slightly too large ring on her left ring finger. The second was proceeded by a loud and vulgar expletive.
"I don't even know my last name!"
Tee-hee. This was a plot bunny I had ages ago. I have more chapter outlines but I'll leave it as a one shot unless I get enough reviews.
