Farkle couldn't pin point the exact time things had changed over the year, but he could think of some moments in time that were steps towards where things went even if they seemed bad at the time.
The first time It happen was the day Riley, and Lucas broke up. He had gotten a call from Riley giving him the news, and even though she said she was okay he knew she wasn't. It was midnight as he headed off to Riley's to check on her. When he got there the window was unlocked like he knew it would be, and he lights were down. He slipped in, and took a seat seeing that she was on the floor writing something.
"Hey Farkle." Of course she noticed he entered somehow she always did. Making his way closer he plopped down next to her trying too see what she was writing. "After our phone call I just wanted to come make sure everything's okay."
He heard a small sigh come from her before she peek up at him "I'm okay just disappointed mostly I think." she didn't even smile at him before she glanced back down at her paper. He didn't know what she meant by disappointed, and he didn't exactly what to ask her yet. Putting his attention on the paper too he pointed at keeping his voice soft. "So what are you writing?"
"I was trying to work on a paper for school, but I just can't right now. Farkle can I ask you something about Smackle?" His curiosity was peaked at this point as his eyes met hers. In all the months he had been dating Smackle Riley had only really asked about them once, or twice. "You can ask me anything Riley."
He could tell by the way she pursed her lips together that she was thinking. She started to shut the notebook before placing her hand on his knee. The feeling that went through him confused him for a moment. The way it tingled, but he pushed it away not knowing what to do with it. "How do you know You love Smackle?"
The question caught him off guard making him suck his lip in as he thought on it for a few seconds. He wanted to know why she even wanted to know that. He cared very much For Smackle, but love still confused him. He wasn't sure what exactly what all it meant to love someone in a none friendly way. Clearing his throat he put his hand top of Riley's bringing all of his attention to her " We get along really well. She's cute, and she accepts even if I'm not most affection guy in the world. All in all I don't exactly know, but I'm happy to be her boyfriend."
A soft smile grew on Riley's face "I'm glad your happy Farkle you deserve it. I hope one day I get a chance to experience real love instead of being caught in what I thought it was suppose to be. What if I never find it Farkle?" He could hear the change in her voice letting him know she was close to tears. Instantly he brought her in to his arms his chin rested on her head, and his other hand on her upper back. "I may not understand love completely, but I know you will Riley. You give so much love to others that I know one day you will receive it back the way you dream of. Eventually someone is going to come in to your life, and they will notice all those things that make you amazing. The way you giggle, how you'd save all the cats in New York City if you could, That you have a beautiful soul, and you can light up the darkest days with your smile. Just remember I'm always here for you, and I love you. So whenever that day comes they will have to pass through me first to make sure they really deserve you." He then pulled back to see her face which now had a smile on it. Knowing she was going to okay Farkle started to get up to leave when he felt Riley grab his hand making him turn back."
"You really mean all that Farkle?" Her voice was quiet, but much happier then before. Squeezing her hand before slipping his out a genuine smile on his face to match hers. "Of course I do Riley." She opened her notebook again , and Farkle started to climb out the window when he heard Riley say one last thing "Thank you Farkley." He Finished getting out the window before he knelt down where she could see answering her back "Always." A small lump formed in his throat at the way Riley had looked at him when he left. Shaking it off he just decided he was tired , and how he couldn't wait to get back to his bed.
The second time Farkle hadn't slept properly in a few weeks. His parents fighting had grown to an almost nightly thing, and it was starting to take it's toll on him. He was tired of the constant yelling, and the the sound of items being broken. It finally got to a point to where he needed to talk to someone. He didn't even really think about if it was weird, or not that he wanted to talk to Riley instead of his girlfriend. Taking a moment to check the clock he saw it was 9:30 he knew she would still be awake. So he quickly grabbed a few things putting it in his backpack before heading for Riley's. The window was already open so Farkle just slipped inside with ease dropping his backpack by his feet causing Riley to jump. Sitting there quietly Farkle still didn't know why he ran to Riley's, but he just felt it is where he needed to be. His hands in his pockets he stayed silent not really knowing what to say, and his eyes were starting to hurt from not getting enough sleep. "Farkle?"
He heard, and he attempted to say something it's just the words wouldn't come out. Slightly shocked by how fast Riley made it over he felt her hand go on his cheek pressing it lightly so he was looking at her. The sincerity in her face made his heart not hurt for the first time in a few days, but it also made what was bothering him want to crawl out. "Farkle Whats wrong?"
Searching his head for how to even to begin he decided to start with the thing that had pushed him too the edge. Grabbing his backpack he opened it so he could get the item out. When he finally found it he gently placed in Riley's lap letting her inspect it. It was a broken picture frame of his family on their last vacation. There was a crack right where Farkle stood making it seem like he was in two. "What happen to this picture?" He watched as Riley's finger ran down the crack.
Taking in a deep breath Farkle took his hands out of his pocket fidgeting a bit. "It was thrown." After that statement his leg starting bouncing, and he couldn't get it to stop. His emotions were beating him right now. "What do you mean it was thrown Farkle?" Riley's hand went on his bouncing leg, and he was shocked by how it just stopped a small calming feelings washing through him. It didn't make it all go away, but he felt more focused to get words out.
"It just never stops. They just keep yelling. I don't know who threw it. I just stay away until there done. Then I go out, and clean everything up before the maids see it. This was just the newest victim, but when I saw this it really hit me that my family is broken. No amount of logic can fix it, and I'm so tired Riley. I miss them, and sometimes I feel as I'm to blame for unhappy they are. " He felt some tears brimming over his eyelids so he wiped them with his sleeve. "Am I the problem? Did I do something wrong? I just don't get how they can hate each other so much." Feeling more tears starting to form he turned his head away not wanting Riley too see.
He felt a soft small hand go under his chin as he moved his head. Farkle knew it was Riley's, and he couldn't even fight it. He was met by brown eyes that for some reason always could feel him with hope. "Of course you aren't Farkle. Your parents love you. I know they do even if it doesn't seem as they do right now. You have done nothing wrong." Tears started streaming down his face as shes speaking, and its a mix of sadness, and feeling comfortable enough knowing Riley is there for him. Riley started to lead his head down to her lap, and he laid down without a struggle. He felt his whole body start to relax as Riley ran her hand through his hair. "You are such a great guy, and I know they are proud of you. Things will look up eventually Farkle, but you will always have me through it all, because I love you. You will never be alone." He felt as if there was a million things he needed/ wanted to say, but he couldn't really form a coherent thought. His tired mind finally shutting down enough with Riley's aura all around him. Before he could get a word out his eyes grew heavy, and for the first time in a few days he was actually asleep.
The third time Him, and smackle had decided to go their separate ways. They just figured out things had been changing between them. With the plan to stay best friends, and continue to fight to take over the world first things had ended really well between them. He was on his way to Riley's with two hot chocolates, because she is the first person he wanted to talk too. Though Smackle suggested he should to which he thought was really weird. Making it too Riley's he stuck his head in far enough to make his attention known.
"Hey Riley. You want to come out, and drink hot chocolate with me under the stars for a bit?" He watched as his favorite smile went across Riley's face as she stood up taking a blanket with her. "Always Farkle." When she got the blanket set out they both sat down. Farkle handed her hot chocolate trying to ignore the tingling he felt when her fingers grazed his.
Putting his attention on the stars he kept his voice low "Smackle, and I broke up." He decided to just get it out instead of beating around the bush. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Riley stumble her cup in her hands almost dropping it. He tried not to laugh at her actions knowing she was probably shocked by the statement. "Oh my god Farkle are you okay? What happen?" Her voice full of worry making him swallow not meaning to make her feel that way.
He shifted toward Riley where their knees were touching, and he gave her grin trying to let her see he was okay. "We just drifted apart is all. She is still one of my best friends, and I'm good. I get what you meant by feeling disappointed now." Riley leaned her head on his shoulder, and he shivered a bit at the touch trying to act as if his rushing heartbeat wasn't happening. He could never get over just how Riley understood, and he was the same when it came to her. Riley was the most illogical thing in his whole life, and she never stopped baffling him. Melting in to her touch he wrapped his hand around her side pulling her closer. He swore she jumped, and let out a little eep though it was too quiet for him to be sure. "The stars are beautiful Farkle. Thanks for inviting me out here with you."
Not until she said those words did it hit him that he was staring at Riley thinking the same thing she was about the stars, but about her. "yeah..." With a choked up voice he blinked a few times trying to form the rest of his words. "Very, beautiful."
The fourth time Farkle felt as if he might be malfunctioning his home life growing a bit worse over time. Now he was struggling with math, and that was something he was really good at it. Ripping up the The fresh F he got so he could toss it out his window. Feeling as if he couldn't breathe right, and the sound of his mother talking to some other guy laughing as if nothing was wrong ringing in his ears. It was time to get away. He snuck past without anyone seeing, and he started walking to Riley automatically. His feet just led him as he kept getting caught in his panic, and clouded brain.
This time he just went through her window even hitting his head on the way in due to his disorganization. "Did you know I'm actually having issues in a class, and the person I know could help me is gone. My dad just moved out one day, and I don't think my mom even cares really." The words just kept flying out as he paced back, and forth on her floor. He could hear her getting up, but he just couldn't stop letting things out. "So my family is Falling apart, and now my grades are going to as well. It's the only thing I have going for me that make sense in my life right now..." He felt his lungs start to close up a little. His chest tightening making him feel like he couldn't catch his breath. Harsh breaths fell from his lips as he started to worry he was having a heart attack.
"Farkle! You need to calm down." He heard Riley, but it was all to blurry so he couldn't find her. Then she found him, and he felt two arms wrap around him as they pulled him down to the floor. He was starting to shake a little at this point, but the arms stayed around him. Time stopped when he felt Lips on his lips. Things started to become focused again his sight adjusting it fully registering it was Riley kissing him. He parted his lips kissing her back. While his hand was entangled in her hair he genuinely smiled for the first time in awhile.
When Riley stopped before he could say anything Riley put both of her hands on his cheek's. "Your wrong Farkle. You have me, and you have us. What we have will always be here, and you will never lose it. We are forever Farkle. It's you, and me." Her brown eyes full of so much life as they stared at him. He felt her hand go off his cheek as she slid her hand into his intertwining their fingers. "Why didn't you come talk to me sooner Farkle? You don't have to go through any of this alone. We can find someone to help you with math, and that's okay if you need a tutor it happens to the best of us. Doesn't make you any less smart. It's just sometimes life can be overwhelming even for the genius who tries to act as if he has it all together all the time. " Riley softly squeezed her hand making him take a breath in as it hit him hard that he was in love with Riley.
He started to lean in again when Riley bit her lip, but he stopped himself worrying she didn't feel the same. Nothing else tended to work out, or stay consistent except for Riley. The fear that kissing her could ruin all that made him afraid too even if he really wanted too. He swore for a split second a look of disappointment came across her face, but she quickly stood up taking him with her. "It's going to be okay I promise, and I will be with you every step of the way. So no more hiding stuff okay?" He knew right there his heart was hers, and no one else could ever make him feel how a Riley matthew's could. "I promise Riley. Thanks for being you." He kissed her forehead before turning to leave, and he hoped one day she give him a sign that she felt the same as him.
The last time he came home to both of his parents which already sent up red flags. An hour later Farkle was sitting in his living room in the same spot his parents had asked him to sit. All the things they said still processing through his head. He knew it was probably coming, but to actually hear them say they were divorcing broke him. His genius side knew everyone was better off that way, but the little boy who just always wanted to understand love felt like he was drowning. As he got up he shoved the chair he was sitting in a bitterness taking him over. Not even Riley would be there this time since she was off on her date with Paul. In his wave of emotions he was having he was starting to convince himself he was for once left on his own. That he might as well accept it now since after awhile he always gets forgotten. He knew he was telling himself lies, but right now they felt true as he let himself fall on to his living room floor. For the first time since this year had started he was left with his own thoughts, and he wasn't prepared. He smashed everything on the living room table then curled up just silently laying there among all the broken glass.
He didn't how long it had been when he heard Riley's voice call out sounding full of panic "Farkle! What did you do?" He thought at first he might be dreaming so he kept his eyes closed trying to get her out of his head. "Please..don't let him be hurt." He started to feel small hands checking his body as she kept speaking. "I'm so sorry I wasn't here Farkle, But I am now." He felt frozen as he felt her move his hair out his face, but he still didn't open his eyes not on purpose this time. "Farkle wake up..." He could hear that she was starting to cry by her voice. "Hey I know you don't believe in destiny, and I always have. Tonight even for a person who does believes in it I found it weird. I Was out on my date, and for some reason I kept getting a feelings it wasn't where I was supposed to be. So I left, and without even knowing it I ended up here at your door. I bet it sounds crazy right? That my feet just went where they wanted to be before I knew it what was I needed.
He snapped back fully at the last bit of what she said, and just sat up staring at her intensely trying to pick the perfect thing to say. "You're okay! Farkle you scared me!" He felt Riley jump in to her arms as she sat on his lap. "I was happy for that key to your house you gave me. When I came in there was all this broken glass, and all I saw was you laying there still. I don't know what I do without you Farkle." Her hands slid across his neck as she started to cry against his chest. It must be magic that she was sitting in his lap saying everything he was thinking no one would ever think about him. That she had shown up exactly when he needed her, and when he was close to just letting himself shut down. Thinking on it he came to conclusion that was something they had both done for each other their whole lives. It was one of the many reasons he knew Riley was his..., and a word he didn't truly believe in until he started to fall for Riley. He knew she was his soulmate, and he couldn't wait any longer to tell her how he had been feeling for her. Placing his one hand on her cheek, and the other on her lower back.
"Okay I can't take it anymore Riley...I'm in love with you. So in love with you. The rest of my life might be confusing right now, but not you. You make complete sense, and I'll admit I fought it out of fear of how much I feel for you. This past year has been one of the hardest of my whole life, and you made sure I made it through it. After tonight it's undeniable how much I love you. You balance me out in a way I didn't know was possible. Also it's not crazy how you ended up here since I have done it plenty of times the end result being your place. You are my soulmate Riley, and no I didn't hit my head. I just finally get what that word means, and I'm pretty sure its always been you. It just took a year of getting my ass kicked too see it. If you don't feel the same way I completely understand, but I don't regret telling you." It was even more telling that Riley just had a way of making him feel better. His mind no longer focused on his parents divorce, but he knew now no matter which way this went he would have someone as amazing as Riley to help him. His heart racing like he just ran a marathon while waiting too see what she would say back.
"I know this year has been rough on you, and I'm so happy I'm the person you let in. I'm so lucky that out of the guys in the world that could have been chosen for me it was you. I still remember the boy who was afraid he would never understood love, and now hes fought against everything that could make you never believe in love. Coming out in the end to find his soulmate instead of letting it break him. I am love with you too Farkle. Have been since the first grade, but it really came to me after I kissed you when you were failing your math class. You are my soulmate, but I already knew that I was just waiting for you to catch up. It's always going to you , and I until the end of time." He chuckled at the part where she was waiting for him to catch up. Hearing her words he felt his air return to his lungs, and despite his parent's divorce he felt a little at peace with his life. If he hadn't been for this year he may not be here right now with Riley in his arm's while she confessed her love for him. "Next question..Will you go out with me, and we can officially start our life side by side?"
"Yes, and you have no idea how long I waited for you to ask me that." Just as she let out his favorite sound Farkle leaned in softly kissing her. Using his lips to part hers he deepened the kiss, and he felt her kiss back her hands getting looser around his neck. In the midst of all the chaos in his home, and life he had found his light. How ironic that while his parents were falling out of love that he was learning what love meant.
