Formerly part of Blood Shot One Shots...I thought it deserved a place of it's own. Be sure to read the companion story Mediation

I own nothing

Genre: Romance

Rated: K+

Meditation

Danny found Sam sitting in her bedroom, sitting in the full lotus position, her hands in her lap, her spine perfectly straight, and her eyes only half closed. He took a moment to admire her as she breathed deeply in her nose and out of her mouth, a mouth he wanted to kiss, but couldn't.

"What are you doing?" he whispered. She didn't react to his voice in surprise, it was likely that she knew he was there the moment he phased into her room, but she said nothing, just continued on as she was before, sitting, staring, breathing.

"Sam?" Danny asked almost worriedly. She still didn't react or give him any indication that she knew he was there. He sat beside her and watched her curiously. How was she doing that? Just sitting there, staring, breathing? How did she have the patience to just sit?

He knew she was meditating, he wasn't stupid, but what he hadn't even been aware that Sam meditated at all. He figured she must meditate a lot or she wouldn't be as good at it as she was. He sighed, wondering how many other things he didn't know about Sam. She hid her secrets so well. It was one of the things he loved about her.

Danny decided he'd have to be patient and wait until she was finished doing, whatever she was doing, so he looked around the room. On her bed he found a sheet of paper which read, "Meditations on Attachments to a Person." He looked at Sam for a moment. She had her back to him.

"Who are you attached to?" he asked. She didn't answer. He looked at the notebook on the bed, the fist page, was open and was written in Sam's handwriting, "Meditations on Jealousy." He laughed slightly, wondering who and what Sam would have cause to be jealous about. He smiled at her fondly then looked at the next page. "Meditations on fear."

Danny closed the notebook, at least he did know that Sam had reason to fear. He frowned as he watched her, wondering exactly how long she had been in that crazy position and how much longer she intended to be and if it would be bad for him to just pull her out of it.

He kicked himself for being selfish. His reason for invading her space were selfish, he told himself needed to take a look at her notes for History. He had actually been attempting to study when he realized that his notes consisted of funny squiggles and doodles, which were the results of boredom. But, now his intentions became even more selfish as he ached to pull her from her trance. It was a trance right? He wanted her attention and found himself jealous almost unreasonably so of whatever it was which was keeping her from him. What was it? A oneness with the universe? Could a person be jealous of the universe?

Danny looked Sam's notebook again and reflected that he could probably stand a little meditation on jealousy himself. He seemed to feel that emotion a lot lately, but really only in regard to Sam.

Only this afternoon at lunch, he found himself jealous of a fork as it was allowed to be held in her fingertips. That stupid utensil felt the brush of her lips. The table she sat on was allowed to hold her. The shirt she wore, to caress her skin. He was jealous of Tucker who could make her laugh so easily and could carry on a conversation, flirting with her madly without blushing or stammering.

"Oh Sam," Tucker had told her when she expressed dissatisfaction with her hair, which Danny personally thought was perfect. "You're beautiful just the way you are." Danny felt his teeth grinding, how dare Tucker tell her she's beautiful. Why could he do it so easily. Sam had sent Tucker a dazzling smile. Danny wanted that smile for himself. He wanted her for himself.

He pulled himself away from his intense thoughts, blinking slightly at Sam, who was still meditating. He had no right to feel so possessive, so jealous over her, and he shuddered to think what Jazz would say about his latent emotions.

All that was important, he told himself, was that Sam was safe and happy and that he got to see her everyday. He had been really good at keeping his jealousy at bay. He didn't visit her room at night as much as he used to. He rationed his time with her in order to help control this strange obsessiveness. He was terrified that it would take him over, and in turn take her over. Danny cared too much about Sam than to burden her with his strange neuroses. Unfortunately, his latest was getting harder and harder to deny.

Would things get better or worse if he gave in to it? Would he stop thinking about her every five minutes? Maybe if he could just kiss her it would ease the thoughts in his head which sometimes were just overwhelming about her.

It wasn't just a physical thing. Her laughter made him happy. Her safety made him happy. Knowing she was feeling peaceful or comfortable, made him happy. Kissing her would make him happier yet.

"Someone help me," he groaned as he put his hands in his hair and leaned forward. He was scared that if he gave in to his desires, he'd lose her. Losing her would drive him insane. He was also afraid that he would overwhelm her, devour her, not stop until she was as caught up and obsessive about him as he was about her.

Why her? He wondered. Of all the people in the world, why did he have to be obsessive about Sam. She didn't deserve to be subjected to something so potentially ugly and destructive. If he was jealous of a fork or a pen or a table or one of her best friends, what was it going to be like once she fell in love with someone? Danny writhed in agony at the thought. It would kill him, or he would kill the guy, he wasn't sure which statement would win, maybe both.

He wished that she loved him too, it might make things easier if at the very least she returned his affection. But, Sam kept her distance, growing quiet in what Danny interpreted as horror as he sent out little feelers to test the water of her affection. He'd done his best to become interested in someone other than Sam. Valerie had been a good choice. It bothered him that Sam didn't even seem to care who he was interested in except to express worry about the wisdom of trying to date someone who hated his ghost half.

Valerie kept him occupied for awhile and he was able to distance his emotions from Sam a little bit. He did his best to focus on Valerie, she had been the perfect distraction, keeping his obsession about Sam from overrunning everything, and then Gregor came into the picture and laid waste to all his hard work.

Danny sighed heavily then looked at the entry in Sam's notebook named, "Meditations on Jealousy." He ripped the page out of her book, hoping he'd forgive her, but maybe it would work for him, he just, loved her too much to risk losing her to his obsession.

"I'm going now," he told her. She didn't respond as she stayed in her strange little trance.

He hesitated for a moment then kissed her cheek lightly. "I love you , Sam," he said then flew away.

Sam blinked a few times and looked around the room thoughtfully. "I love you too, Danny," she replied.

The End