This is my first fanfiction. I am a massive fan of Rookie Blue especially McSwarek and I cannot wait for the new series in June.

I was encouraged to post this story by a group of girls who have laughed and cried with me and put up with my craziness over the last few months. These 'crazy' girls have now become my friends!

A special mention to a friend of mine, Ash who has agreed to be my Beta for all my future chapters, so I would like to say a big thank you!

The incessant beeping, the pounding in my head and the stinging ache in my stomach rouse me. I blink my eyes open once, twice trying to focus on my surroundings, which even to my blurred vision are unfamiliar. As I regain my focus I notice the breathing tube running from my nose and the confusion sets in as my brain tries to register why it is there and why I am lying in a hospital bed.

There is someone else in the room, I can hear their deep, even breathing and although everything hurts I shift my head to see who it is. Andy.

The sight of her lying with her head at my side and her small hand in mine brings all my memories flooding back to me in a rush, Kevin Ford, his gun trained on Collins, the pain, the ambulance...

We need to talk, I know that, we have hurt each other. I made a mistake, a big one but I was hurting and I walked away. Marlo was a distraction, I cared for her, of course I did but Oliver was right I wasn't being fair to either of us.

A shadow in the doorway draws my attention and as I turn I see Sarah, coffee in hand and tears in her eyes as she realises I am awake. I look at Andy then lift my eyes back to Sarah and shake my head slightly, understanding my meaning she walks round to the other side of my bed.

"Sam..."

The tears are coursing down her cheeks and I can see all sorts of emotions being conveyed in her eyes. She looks like she hasn't slept in days.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I got shot."

I look back at Andy.

"How long has she been here?"

"As far as I can tell she hasn't left your side since you were brought in. I like her."

She looks back at me with a no nonsense look on her face, one I remember as a child before...

"No wise cracks Sam how are you really feeling? I should let the doctor know you are awake."

"Sarah I am ok, in a bit of pain but more than anything I am thirsty, I could use a drink of water."

"I will be right back I am going to get the doctor and get you some water."

As she leaves the room my attention is drawn back to Andy. I love her I know this but why do I find it so hard to accept it? Why do I push her away? Why cant I admit to her that I need her?

The ache in my stomach is getting more and more painful and as I try very gently to get comfortable a sharp pain ricochets through me and I groan out loud. I see Andy starting to stir and I know it wont be long until she realises I am conscious.

She lifts her head and turns to look at me with the same doe eyed look I have come to known and bursts into tears.