Wrong-Headed, an AG fanfic. Lissie/Ben
Felicity contemplates her awakening sexuality and her feelings for Ben, and how wrong-headed it seems to be. Ben does likewise. One-Shot.
Valerie Tripp owns the characters, I am just "borrowing" them for a bit. :)
"What a glorious day," Felicity Merriman thought wistfully on a warm June afternoon. She was perched on the roof, where she was once again supposed to be picking apples for apple butter, not to mention preserves and pies, but the sky was so blue and fluffy and dotted with specks of birds flying, that Lissie threw all caution to the wind. Climbing onto the roof offered her thrills she rarely experienced, and she sought them whenever she could. She knew that at twelve, she really should be acting more sedate and restrained, but on such a balmy, gentle summer day as this, she knew it would be impossible to do – her heart longed to soar in the filmy clouds. She knew she wasn't a proper young lady as befitting the times, but honestly, she preferred it that way.
She turned her head, her bright red curls flitting imperiously in the stiff breeze, catching a glimpse of a tall, dark-headed young man emerging from the stable. Felicity stood to her feet, swaying faintly as the wind brushed against her back, nearly causing her to stumble. Regaining her balance, she waved at the eighteen-year-old man impetuously.
"Ben!" She called out, grabbing her apple-filled basket as the wind blew it past her down unto the eaves. "Ben!" She yelled again, attempting to get his attention. The young man glanced upwards, his chocolate brown eyes gleaming with surprised humour at the sight of his master's daughter perched precariously on the roof; somewhere he knew she wasn't supposed to be. However, this was Felicity, a girl almost a woman given to blithely defying societal conventions mandated by their times, and for this Ben sincerely enjoyed being around her.
Ben doffed his tricorne hat towards the girl on the roof, his mouth creasing into a grin as he looked at her. Felicity's green eyes glimmered limpidly at him as they sought each other's gazes. For a moment, the whole world seemed to slow as brown eyes meet green and the connection between them intensified with that one look. All at once, a gust of wind blustered over the roof, thrusting itself over the young woman hanging near the eaves of the house, the strength of it knocking her off of her perch. The basket dropped from her white hands as Felicity clung to the eaves, her eyes wide with anxiety as she glanced at the young man in the yard.
"Lissie!" Ben cried out, dashing over to her, causing the Merriman's lamb Posie to kick up her heels, loping into the barn as he hastened over to the girl, who was still hanging onto the eaves for dear life. She glanced back down at Ben again, her eyes huge, a frown on her face as she endured her very inappropriate, very unladylike situation. She could just hear her little sister Nan's words now: "Oh Lissie, why must be so wrong-headed? Is it really so hard to be ladylike like Mother wishes you would be?"
Felicity sighed, thinking of her younger sister, who was always so prim and proper and ladylike, everything she wasn't. Beside Nan, she was like a stubborn daisy in comparison to her rose-red sister, who was already well on her way to womanhood though she was barely ten. The wind whooshed by the young woman again, causing her to lose her purchase on the eaves. At once, the wood loosened beneath her fingers, making her slip downwards. Felicity held in a scream, trying to clamber back up on the roof.
"Lissie!" Ben shouted again, standing underneath her. "Let go of the roof – I'll catch you."
"All right," Felicity replied, letting her fingers slip out of the eaves. She plummeted through the air, landing heavily in Ben's arms, knocking the wind out of him and causing both of them to collapse on the ground, laughing, their faces nearly touching each other's. With a gasp, Felicity abruptly pulled away from Ben's gentle grip on her, the roses on her cheeks blossoming. Her breath quickened as she stared at Ben, his mouth open in a cheerful grin, delighting in the curve of his pink lips, the soft curls of his brown hair, and the roundness of his cheeks. Ben glanced up at her then, and she averted her gaze, embarrassed to be caught staring. Bending down to pick up her scattered apples lying across the rich deep brown soil of the yard, her hand come into contact with a tan hand and she looked up into Ben's smiling face.
"Thank you for your help, Ben," she murmured, casting her visage downward as she darted into the house, the roses on her cheeks still prominent. She cast a quick glance outside, and noticed Ben watching her, a protective light in his eyes, and her heart began to race. Placing her basket on the counter in the house reserved for making jams and jellies, she explained to her mother and Rose that she needed a reprieve, and then dashed out to the stables, where she readily saddled her chestnut mare Penny. Leaving the horse ready to be ridden, she went back into the main house, picking up a book of fairytales on her way out. Placing it into a satchel, she hurried back to the stables. Penny neighed appreciatively when she noticed the girl heading her way, and then stood stock-still as Felicity climbed aboard.
Kicking Penny gently with her legs, Felicity galloped out of the yard, noticing out of the corner of her eye that Ben Davidson was heading in the direction of her father's store. Despite her racing heart, she reined Penny in next to him.
"Good day, Ben," she greeted him, absently playing with a red curl near her forehead. "I see that you are going in the direction of father's store…"
x-x-x-x-x-x
Ben waggled his eyebrows at her; sensing what she would ask next, finishing her statement.
"And you are wondering if you take me in that direction, Lissie?" He asked; noting that the sweeping white line of her neck reminded him of the suppleness of a flock of birds in flight, her hair was reminiscent of a ruddy apple, and her eyes were like beacons of light reaching across the darkness of his earlier painfully shy world with their subtle encouragement to him, and was one of the reasons why he had spoken up to Jiggy Nye in defense of her horse – he couldn't bear to see those bright eyes dim with regret at the mistreatment of the fine animal.
Felicity allowed a small smile to brighten her face.
"Yes, Ben," she answered, extending her hand to him so that he could mount Penny. Penny whuffled happily as Felicity sent her forward into a canter. Ben placed his arms around Felicity's body, holding her in place as they rode along, and the young girl didn't flinch from his touch. In fact, she leaned against him, relishing his strength. Guiding her mare into the streets of Williamsburg, Felicity pondered a story that she had been reading out of her fairytale book. It had been about a girl trapped in a tower with an old witch named Mother Gothel who had spirited her away for the magical, life-extending properties in her outrageously long hair, and her encounter with a dashing prince called Eugene who taught her about life and awakened mysterious, un-called-for sensations within her, causing her to be aware of the man in front of her.
x-x-x-x-x-x
Felicity gasped, drawing her breath in sharply as she recalled the tale. Ben tightened his grip around her gently, bestowing on her a loving smile. Felicity beamed over her shoulder at him, one clear, sure thought rising among the pleasurable consciousness she was experiencing with Ben's hands on her shoulders: I love Ben Davidson. Not as a brother, which he has been when he first came here to Williamsburg…. But as a sweetheart. Oh, Nan is going to think this so 'wrongheaded' of me to love Ben, as he is six years older than me….. A shadow crossed over her face, and she darted a glance at Ben, who had been idly playing with the curls in her tresses, although Felicity hadn't noticed because she was guiding Penny along the dusty streets of the city.
x-x-x-x-x-x
Ben meanwhile had been lost in contemplation himself as the two cantered into the burgeoning town of Williamsburg, Virginia, bustling with activity as shopkeepers opened their stores, traders bearing baubles on their satchels entered the thoroughfare, and woman began migrating in the direction of Merriman's Mercantile, eager to buy their purchases and catch up on gossip about the tempest of war on their horizons. Felicity repressed a sigh, knowing full well that since Ben was now eighteen, he would be leaving any day now to join the militia. She cast her face downward, tears trembling on her eyelids as she realised how much she would miss him – especially so because her heart was bursting with love for him, only for him to be snatched away from her – and so abruptly! Oh, she had to find some way to let him know she cared…
The young man squeezed the young girl's shoulder's companionably, gently putting a strand of hair that had escaped from Felicity's mobcap back inside her ear with caring emphasis on the slight action. As he gazed at the bonny red tresses teasing him almost provocatively inside her cap, he allowed a small grin to come into his eyes as he considered her slender form, and the thought surfaced in his mind: I love Lissie. For many, many things – for being my friend when I was a shy lad apprenticed to her father, and for her care and sacrifices for me when I tried to run away to join the militia, and how she told me the truth then about my behavior. Admiring once again the curve of her finely shaped neck, he mused, I love her! Not as a brother, but as a sweetheart…
x-x-x-x-x-x
As Ben's thought trailed off, Felicity pulled Penny up to the mercantile, leading her around the corner where it was cool and shady for her horse. Ben swung himself off first, landing squarely beside the chestnut mare, extending his hand to Felicity to help her get down. Felicity accepted his hand almost gingerly, looking into his eyes as she allowed him to help her off the mare. They stood there in the shade for several moments, lost in a world all their own, and then … And then Ben leaned in next to the young woman, his lips just faintly brushing hers, bestowing on Lissie her first real kiss with a boy. Felicity didn't shy away from his touch, brushing her lips against his as well, and their bodies melted together in the shadows as they silently claimed each other as their own.
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