HEYAAAAAA PUPPIES, HOW YA'LL CUTIE PIES DOIN', CAUSE IMMA ATTACK YOU WITH THIS FANFIC RIGHT HERE! MWAHAHAHHAHAAHHAJHSAGFGJHGF, OK YES, I'M VERY CRAZY I ADMIT. ANYWAYS, SO IMMA HOPE Y'ALL GONNA LIKE THIS, SO I'LL LEAVE YOU WITH THAT, NOW GET ON WITH THE READING YA NAUGHTY LIL' PUPPIES. BUT FIRST SOME THINGS;
Also, at this point, this is first year in Middle School (For Ai.).
Yes this fanfiction will have some minor Shinichi X Ai in the beginning, and yes it'll develop into Shinichi X Shiho/Conan X Ai (Haibara Ai) later onwards. SORRY SHINRAN SHIPPERS.
I won't do all the Detective Conan episodes, I'm rewatching the series and noting down which ones I wish to incorporate. Some, or well, a lot of things might change in the Detective Conan timeline. Be prepared for that.
Also at the end of each arc there will be a chapter consisting of some scenes from another character's POV, so if you want to see some other character's POV regarding a scene, write it out in the comments, I might or most likely will listen to your request :)
Also there might be some discrepancies with Japan's actual culture, just putting that out, I'll try to be as loyal to it as possible but yes.
NOW GO ON, READDDDDDDDDDDD.
Arc 1: Of Misunderstandings and 'Casual' Encounters, Woah! Isn't The World Small!
Chapter 1:
Ditzy Foreigner
Excuse me
I doubt I should be considered a foreigner SUCKAS
Ditzy though,
I mean, I'm sure Obama awarded me an award for ditziness, well one of my dreams
And Naoki says
I'm gonna die by falling down a staircase
And Narumiya Mei I swear
Bro it doesn't matter to me
But yo I would not want to see you
Get cannibalized by your fangirls dude make them take a chill pill please
~ Shirafuji Ai
"NARUMIYA-KUN!~~~" The tsunami of cringe assaulted me upon the demonic shrill screaming of his name. Despite being encompassed by the incessant mellow chatter of my peers in the expansive immaculate hallway lit by the cheerful azure of the sky, a chill struck through me.
While ignoring the growing female crowd and their shrill rambunctious nature, I continued to casually stroll through the hallway towards the staircase to descend to my classroom with my head as usual, high above the heavens and mostly unaware of my immediate surroundings. I was promptly hit with consternation when some random girl ran past me in a way not that much eloquent than my titan dancing, and of course for whatever reason in the process, dealing grave injuries to me and violently crippling me.
As I cocooned into a trembling leech murmuring obscenities more obscene than the R rated song I was caught singing by him on my first day here, she rushed past without a care alongside the shrill screeching of "NARUMIYA-KUN!~" to said boy in all his glory standing high and mighty full of pride while girls crowded around him like psychotic vultures to a delicious hot chunk of putrid rotting flesh.
"I SAW YOUR PRACTICE MATCH. YOU WERE SO AMAZING!~" I cringed at their incredibly cringe inducing tones and attitudes which heavily impacted my HP healing. Dude, if this was a video game, the only thing which could heal my side and withered right lung would be the healing majesty or something - like hey the healing potions of adorable cat videos.
WAIT-WAS THAT… Woah, even the school council president hopped onto the "NARUMIYA-KUN!~" flesh eating ritual without the actual eating of the putrid, rotting, chunk of hunky flesh which lay before their very eyes on a silver platter. All except Akamori-san, who was basically the cootie hater and the class representative who was also my guide, Igarashi-san, has been trying to hold in her laughter while twitching, and shakily holding up her phone recording from behind the wall for the past 5 minutes. I simply stood there, rubbing my side with a withered and completely cringe induced expression while grumbling about the upsetting trend for people to record everything on their phone now, ranging from a bunch of vultures crowding around a hunky chunk of rotting, putrid flesh labeled Narumiya Mei in a school setting with a side flick of a poor innocent maiden like me suffering a violent unjust attack from one of said vultures to a 21+ obscene scene of someone titan model dancing and screaming of an atrocity of such as per say, a SUPER SEXY DIRTY song.
Narumiya Mei's eyes flickered over to me and a thunder striked across my spinal cord. I thankfully succeeded in holding the eye contact, or more like being frozen for a second helped. My special organ, which pumped blood throughout my body, was the reason I felt it coursing so aberrantly. It then felt like a peculiarly pained crunch due to my slight surprise. Upon our eye contact, he offered up a raised eyebrow with an insidiously shrewd smirk hinting at his devious schemes concerning the fate of a certain cutie.
To have the piqued intensity of those clusters of galaxies focused on me with each bizarre beat of that same special organ, a thundering pulse coursed across my body along with the effect of the cherry flushing of my skin.
Still maintaining eye contact, I once again attempted to muster up my meanest look.
Only to give a constipated teary eyed wrinkled pout that was more puggy than ever as was per affected by the earlier elbow shove. He gave a mocking laugh in his hand before returning to seduce the psychotic vultures surrounding him with his malodorous fetid hunky chunk of meat self. I turned my tail and speed walked away from that location of a soon to be manslaughter and cannibalization.
When I was further enough from the location of the flocking, I paused and took a moment to sigh to myself and trembling away the residual flush. I proceeded to cackle a bit more loudly than intended behind my hand.
I blinked as I felt something light make contact with my head causing me to let out an instinctive "Ow." I looked up to see Naoki peering over with his book and a deadpanned expression holding slight inquisitiveness towards me.
"Move. Why're you even standing in the middle of the corridor laughing secretly like that?" Smiling, I heeded his request and moved a bit, putting space between us while giggling a bit more into my hand.
"It's just that," I leaked some giggles causing him to purse his lips and furrow his brows. I moved on with my words. "My arch nemesis has a truly traditional evil and smug as heck insidiously shrewd villainous smirk and I sorta found that funny." I finished with another burst of giggles.
Rolling his piercing garnet eyes as if they were a game of pachinko and relinquishing an arid sigh far more of a desert than the actual Sahara Desert, he rotated away from me and began descending the stairs ahead of me.
"Well wasn't that interesting. Never knew Narumiya was that much of a clichéd villain." He flatly responded.
I pouted and jogged to pursue him by responding with, "Oh c'mon! You need to check it out! He looks like an actual villain-wait how do you know my arch nemesis is - HOLY CHIPMUNKS HANGING FROM A CLIFFFF-" My voice jumped multiple decibels along with irrelevantly insensible excess words as I missed a step and nearly tumbled down the stairs. It was definitely not like an enormous potato with limbs like the one from Toy Story, tumbling down the epically lengthy majestic staircase of a castle.
Naoki grabbed my arm and steadied me alongside my other hand on the railing.
"OI! Be careful!" His voice was raw and sharp. Consequent to regaining my balance, I let out a relieved sigh as he let go of my arm, yet moving closer to my side. "You should really be more attentive of your surroundings. Your clumsiness is going to get you killed one day." He added with a sharp edge as he kept a keen eye on me while we descended the stairs.
I sheepishly rubbed the back of my head as if I had just broken Humpty Dumpty by mistake with a correlating, "Oops, I'll be more vigilant next time!" With another arid sigh, he shook his head.
Alarmed, I snapped my head to face the source of a highly shrill sound which sounded frighteningly close to a fire alarm, soon registering it as Naoki's last name "AKIYAMA-KUNNN!~" being screeched out by his childhood friend, Arakawa Haruna.
Upon a repeat of the disastrous high banshee bell-how did he not notice it the first time around?!-Naoki finally noticed her and turned himself to face her who came running - similar to a rabbit. It must have taken a lot of practice for her to have mastered that highly impractical running technique. Now that is what I call dedicated - even willing to give up a chance to escape from a serial killer to achieve that impractical kind of ridiculous attempt of cute bunny running.
Where were those leg muscles though?
Smiling up at him with huge glistening eyes resembling polished diamonds, she fluttered her lashes at him gently, completely bypassing my greeting and my lonely hand hanging in the air, raised for a very obvious high five directed towards her to which she responded with a simple uncaring wave.
She continued on with her words; her actions exaggerated like a soap opera.
Unable to register her words, my attention was divided between her potentially coded actions, signaling me to inform her fellow agents of her being suspected as a spy, and my forlorn hand still raised for a high five which shall never arrive, which left my hand to wither to demise.
Nahh, I simply put my hand back down with Mariana trench deep bitter resentment, which would lead me to burgers out of the gallbladders of everyone in that school and whoever was in anyway related to it.
And I didn't even like burgers.
Maybe I would make them into subway instead! Yeah, that was a better idea! Mmmmmm subway..
Upon seeing Naoki vanishing, I snapped out of my human subway manufactured fantasies and wiped the drool off my face and called out to him.
"Nao~ki! Where are you going?" I tugged at his sleeve.
"Hmm? Oh, a friend is calling me over. I'll talk to you later." At his response, I pouted. Shaking his head with a slight rumble, he ruffled my hair and walked off.
I turned towards Arakawa-san with a smile, only for it to fall in puzzlement.
Her lips were puckered in a timid manner but chewed on harshly, eyebrows furrowed and in her darkened eyes, a glint shivered across.
Almost immediately, she fixed her expression with a smile and her eyebrows halfway straightened.
Then she turned her back and left, thankfully dragging the horrible tension along with her.
Huffing not unlike an extremely annoyed ostrich, I skipped across the mildly populated hallway filled with senseless chatter and casual laughter. Having reached across for the door handle of my classroom to slide open and stride in of course like the queen I was, of course I was hit with another wave of consternation of the day.
The door was banged open swiftly and a girl rushed out with her head ducked. I crashed face first onto the girl's tough nut head like a cake, except it was much harder and did not grotesquely splatter everywhere like homeboy's peanut sauce.
"What the diving dicks-" Unintelligible words escaped my mouth in a nasally flood as I grabbed my pained possibly period explosion of a nose, and stumbled back like a dumb drunk horse faced squid. Harshly plunging to the ground, the pair of cheeks not on my face viciously attacked the floor in a severe bomb dropping fall.
Having stumbled back due to the force of the hit, the girl sobbed, yet did not raise her head and instead lowered it even further as her quivery voice wobbled off her apologies similarly to the legs which carried her away.
From the corner of my eyes, I vaguely noted my unintentional assailant still running off in the far distance ungracefully in a very disturbingly similar manner to a remarkably high under aged Pokemon hybrid horse shoe.
"What the nirvanas crapping stardust farts is this?" My voice as nasally as a cow with its nose pierced through, heavy with snot, commanded while rubbing that same pained nose, as after somewhat escaping the abomination and bewilderment upon my word choice. Igarashi-san rushed over to me to tend to me, and Akamori-san followed right after alongside a bellow of my last name with a pause in between to make sure there was no blood.
"Oh no! Is-Is your nose okay?" Akamori-san fretted over me, as I assured her of the only damage done to me was the intense amount of pain which caused tears to well up in my eyes, and as a result made my nose very snotty and thus ever more difficult to breathe through. It possibly made my survival rate upon wheezing or fangirling even less.
"Wow I feel like a clichéd harem boy with all these girls fussing over me." My nasally voice added only assisting in making my situation creepier.
Igarashi-san retracted herself slightly and Akamori-san continued with hesitant confusion.
Naoki gave a side judgmental look before he peaked from the door to where the sobbing girl ran off to. "I wonder why Enomoto ran off like that when class is supposed to start soon," His gaze once more returned to me. "Also why're you sitting on the floor? You okay? Class is about to start, so if you want to wipe your dirty nose, you should go now."
My face flushed - not unlike the appealing apple Adam was so turned on by to eat. I lacked surety in whether the cough Igarashi-san let out in her hands was really one, while Akamori-san simply straightforwardly choked.
"Dude no I got smacked in the face when she ran away take some responsibility, you fickle playing bastard." My nasally voice commanded callously.
Even Naoki appeared confused for a second but soon grasped my words, yet his face once more shifted into confusion. "Fickle playing bastard?"
"Well yeah you did just unintentionally reject her." Akamori-san snapped back swifter and sharper than the escape she makes upon the sight of blood, or well, than the gasp of astonishment that escapes her at my words yet asked me more.
"What?" Naoki responded more clueless than a dog being given orders yet not knowing what they are.
"Don't tell me... Nevermind." Igarashi-san shook her head in larger frustration than anybody else in this situation, including me. More than the frustration of people who straight up were not able to masturbate for 10 years. Hold on. Impossible comparison. Hm, 5 minutes.
The two female companions at my side assisted me in standing up as I still kept my hand around my aching nose, as, what the hell? A thin crowd then began gathering around me until now it seemed as if I was the main dancer at a parade. After a few seconds when the pain seemed to flow away enough, I moved my hand away and attempted to breathe through my nose, succeeding without much birth pains entered my class and so with a sigh plopped down on my seat in the front next to the window.
As the shrill sounding bell akin to Arakawa Haruna's voice rang, I shivered while students took their various places throughout the class. Naoki sat next to me, which was how we first got acquainted and then developed into friends. Igarashi-san sat across from us towards the right in the middle front next to Hayashi-kun, one of our classes' chatterboxes; Akamori-san on the other hand sat right behind me diagonal to Kimiko and right next to her was Hasegawa-kun, who consistently got good grades and listened to some pretty rad music through his earphones often times when class was not in session and he was not chatting with our group, or some of his other friends from the class next door.
As the teacher who once heard me making a horrible joke about him and math concerning his ex and Math's 'X' entered, he took his place in the classroom and sent me one long nasty look before beginning his lesson for the day.
Spending half my first lesson listening to him droning on and on about the mathematical concepts I already grasped, I attempted to make some more Math jokes in my head. Of course I stopped that too when I appeared to reach the brink of keeping my prized polite listening smile on, it soon twisted into a twitching deranged mess which was supposed to resemble a smile.
It earned me some extra nasty long lasting 'glances' from Fujimoto-sensei, causing a lot of collective snickers to pass around this demented ass of a classroom.
As my eyes wandered over to the window, I held in a gasp upon catching his golden mane, glistening under the bright rays of the sun. Goddammit. I forgot his P.E class took place during that day's Math lesson.
I was usually very well aware that during my Math's class, his class P.E took place; as often times, I found myself observing them, specifically annoyingly enough he was the focus of my observation. At times he would childishly argue with the others who would get hilariously flustered with anger. At other times, they would all joke around and have such lovely genuine grins plastered on.
Quite honestly speaking, I did not quite detest him like Vegeta hated Goku in the beginning, or like Batman and the Joker. In fact I held deep admiration for him rather than abhorrence, which is more synonymous to the Powerpuff girl's adoration and admiration for Mrs. Bellium, than Mojo Jojo's childish but sort of endearing enmity towards the Powerpuff girls.
Yet I played along with the role of hating him because he hated me back too. Why must I show admiration to someone who hated me quite so?
Gazing at Narumiya Mei for a while longer like a brain dead fish, I snapped out of my pleasant reverie upon noticing that Fujimoto-sensei has finally distilled some work onto us which I set onto completely. Often times, I let my eyes wander over to him and the homely scenes which played out down there between him and his friendly class.
Having glimpsed at the time, I was not sure if I was disappointed or glad that the lesson was nearing its inevitable end.
When the chipmunk of a bell finally descended upon us to grant us freedom from this class, we gave our work to student on duty and got on with our dirty business.
And no, that did not include getting down in a bunch of orgies, or dealing with LSD and Meth and getting high on some nice old weed. Basically I was stuffing my face with some chips and dip with pleasure moans, and facepalms from Naoki with all the crumbs dusting my face while Igarashi-san and Akamori-san gathered around my table with various levels of teasing and fussing with the occasional flash of Igarashi-san's phone. Take note that I was not literally stuffing my face with Naoki's facepalms, or with my friends gathering around my table.
If you - the imaginary person in my brain reading my monologue - thought that, then you have some major issues. And I do too.
As the squeak of the hybrid baby of a dolphin and mammoth rang out alerting us of the next class starting, I hurriedly rolled the top of my chips and dip packet and placed it inside my school bag. Then I immediately sat straight like a statue as if I had not just been titan feeding on some snacks. Naoki rolled his eyes and with a deadpanned look of a dead puffer fish on a pan-see what I did there? - informed me, "You still have some crumbs left on your face."
With an owl's blink, I rubbed my face with the back of my sleeve. "Did I get it?"
His brows furrowed, "No," And using his own face as a reference pointed to the lower corner of my face.
"How about now?" He was full on scowling now.
Taking my face in his hands which instantly set off the crazy widening of my eyes, he wiped away the crumbs with his thumb.
I could feel Akamori-san's deathly aura from behind me with her screeches of "NOPE," while Igarashi-san was facepalming and basically ripped the skin off of her flushed face while - EXCUSE ME - her other hand raised her phone up as a flash appeared.
As he sat back down after blowing the crumbs off of his thumb, his face morphed back into his neutral expression while I finally took the liberty and inhaled the air which could be fitted in forty five ice cream tubs. "There, all better." He smiled at me and I banged my head on my table.
"Thanks." I mumbled as my nose once more ached and then the teacher entered as I had to lift my damn aching nose again to respectfully greet the teacher, geez, COULD NOT MY MELODRAMATIC TEENAGE LIFE GET SOME LENIENCY SHEESH.
If the fact that this is my new daily life was absurd enough, let me just put it out there. That was not the extent of it.
AND I END IT HERE. Tell me your thoughts concerning multiple things, like your first impressions on each of the introduced characters and etc. Also tell me your other thoughts on my fanfic too! Like everything you can think of! I'm super greedy X'D Also you can comment down any questions you have for the characters ("What's your favourite colour?" etc) or about some trivia concerning them and I'll (or the characters) will answer them ;) That seems like a fun activity to incorporate!
ALSO COMMENT DOWN BELOW. ANYWAYS, LOVE YA'LL PUPPIES, IMMA SEE YA'LL LATER, CIAO PUPPIESSSSSS!~ AI IS OUT!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
