Anger's Backwash

Anger's Backwash

Part One


Prologue

The girl was watching the sun rise. It wasn't a spectacular, flashy, shine-pink-till-you-drop sunrise. It was a gradual change. The dark gray sky got streaked with feathered orange. "It's going to be a gray morning." the girl thought, feeling a little glum. That was before she saw the sun. It was shining happily through the light gray, and soon the bright blue sky came through. The girl smiled. "Maybe not." she thought.

The rat peeked out from underneath the empty beer can. The world was large. The sky stretched high. The always-near-by sandy ground reeked of many smells, of the many strange activities of other beings, of the belongings they left behind. Still, a faint wisp of the naturalness of this place was alive. The reek of humans was not too strong. Strong enough to be of interest, light enough to know that nobody was going to come storming into territory at all times of the everlasting days. The days that never ended, that stretched into one another till the morning of death.

She saw the other rat peering at her with interest. She waited there, for him. If he had been a normal rat, like the others on this island, he would of ran to her, would of felt the pulse, and joined her.

But he was not a normal rat. He stared at her for a while, and she stared back, waiting. Finally he turned away. He left her there. She didn't feel hurt. Maybe a glimpse of surprise if that's possible. But the rat didn't feel discouraged. She left the area in search of new.

The male rat, the one who had turned away was staring out at the ocean.

So strange.

He was staring out at the horizon. The look of a racing mind peeked out from his eyes. The look of a mind in deep thought. The other rats often regarded him with the sense that he wasn't there. In a way, he wasn't. He did not act like them. He instead, avoided them. So, each rat had decided... no that's not right, each rat's instinct had decided, that he couldn't possibly be one of them.

They left him alone. He left them alone.

YOU'RE ALL DEAD! the male rat shouted at the horizon. ONE DAY I'LL BE THE ONE LAUGHING! I'll watch you all burn in hell! I promise you that! I PROMISE YOU THAT! The rat broke into a fit of sobbing as he realized the little truth in these words. His wailing went on, curses wrapped in among the pleads, threats, and incoherent words.

The other rats ignored the strange noises. These endless noises in their heads meant nothing. A bit startling at one time. But no threat. They had learned this, eventually. These babblings running through their heads happened every day and were as harmless as a dead bug.

It was on this day, no different than any other, that every being on that rocky island, much more rock than island, heard the far off thunder. They were used to it. Many times they heard it. The thunder always brought humans with it. Usually the humans would glance over the filthy island/rock and decide, within a right mind, not to explore it. Usually the humans would look at it with disgust and decide that they would have more fun making out with their lover on a clean island where they could escape from it all... It was true that this island was nothing but a rat-infested reminder of how despicable human nature could be at times. Needles, trash, condoms, and worse. So, this little rock, this island to the rats, was usually left alone. The thunderwould pass. The rat... the different rat, would go on sobbing. Life would continue, undisturbed.

But this time, while the rat wailed, the thunder didn't slowly fade away. It stopped. Flat out. And then it came back louder than before. Back towards the rock... And then... Then there were footsteps. One after another. Undoubtedly human.

All the rats and other various strange animals disappeared instantly. Except the one strange rat. Was he fearless? Or merely suicidal?

The footsteps came closer and closer. And the thought-speak voice of the rat became more shrill and excited.

he shouted.

"Yes..." a voice answered. "I am here to help..."

Chapter 1
Cassie

My name is Cassie.

And I hate the beach.

By beach, I don't mean nice warm sand slipping through your toes, or the sound of waves crashing. I don't mean a place with wildlife beyond belief, a whole different elaborate ecosystem, that human beings can only imagine at times. Land meets water. Earth meets sea. Two environments, clashing.

I love that beach.

I hate the beaches where the soul purpose is to provide a place for people to burn to a crisp (tan), or make out, or get in fights with angry parents over where to sit. People push and shove. Mothers smother babies with sunscreen before they lay out a towel and put on sun glasses as they try to get skin cancer, reading a cheap novel. They throw unwanted trash into the ocean they claim to love so much. The beaches where sometimes the waves can barely be heard and tides are looked down upon because they sweep sand castles away, into the oblivion.

I'm being ranty. More ranty than usual anyway. And normally, I wouldn't complain. I'd let people be people. They can have their beach, and I'll have mine. As long as the boundaries aren't crossed, go ahead, enjoy the paradise, and after you're finished, dispose of it. I won't curse you out for it.

At least not to your face.

But today, I was being dragged into this lovely environment. Almost literally, dragged. People pressed in on all sides , gabbing, talking about stupid, silly things they figured the whole world revolved around.

The only reason I was here, was due to my best friend, fellow warrior, and opposite, Rachel.

"Rachel!" I said, in only a slightly whiny voice. "Can we leave yet?"

"Hm?" Rachel said. She was laid out on a towel, eyes closed, working on a tan.

"The beach. Leave. Us. Please?"

"Just a few more minutes."

"Wasn't it a few more minutes like, an hour ago?"

"Mmm." she said, not really listening. I couldn't imagine a better friend than Rachel, but at the beach she gets a little... dazed.

A little too dazed, if you ask me. This "dazed" state left her totally oblivious to the fact that I was there, and she was there and the fact that she promised she wouldn't leave me to stand around now meant nothing. So I was left to watch guys gawk at her. Quite the fun-filled Saturday.

I rolled my eyes as she once more fell silent after the echoing hmm noises she made. "I'm going for a swim." I said, not sure why I had let Rachel convince me to come here.

"Mm." Rachel acknowledged.

I walked into the peak of a wave. I didn't expect to find any interesting wildlife. Most of it had been chased away by the crowds of people, I was sure. But the water was fairly empty. Might as well enjoy myself. I traveled aimlessly along the surf, kicking waves as I went. My mind started clearing and I was starting to feel better, less selfconscious.

Until, that is, there was a call of,

"Cassie!"

I turned around and saw Jake. I jogged up to him. I was happy to see him of course, but his expression immediately told me he wasn't here to bring good news.

"What's wrong Jake?" I asked.

"We're having a meeting." he said. "Is four today okay for you?"

"Sure." I said quickly. I took his arm and lead him into shallow waves where he could still wade in his cutoffs and where it was mostly vacant of people.

"The Yeerks have been so quiet lately." I said, once we were a safe distant away from the crowd. "Is it really so important?"

He sighed. "When they're quiet, it always means they're up to something."

I nodded, "I'll tell Rachel."

"Rachel's here too? I didn't see her." He scanned over the crowd, and I pointed her out. "I couldn't take much more of just sitting there." I said. "So..."

He grinned. "The Rachel ego is a burden to bear when it turns you into a speck.."

I grinned too. "Agreed." We walked out onto the sand over to his bike, slacked against the dock. "Anyway, what's the deal?" I said as he prepared to leave.

His shoulders slunked. "It's a long story, and I don't have much time. Four?"

"Four." I confirmed. He smiled weakly and I gave him a hug.

"Just keep at it, fearless leader." I said into his ear.

~~~

Marco and Jake walked into the barn as I was cleaning out the old food of a sick duck. "Cassie!" Marco said, jovially. He glanced at my boots, covered halfway up in muck. "Looking glamorous as always!"

"Why thank you Marco." I said, innocently avoiding his good nature sarcasm.

He sat down on a bale of hay and Jake looked over at the sick duck. "Need any help?" he asked me.

"No, thanks." I said. "Is Ax coming to the meeting?"

"Nah." Jake said. "Ax is staying at his scoop. He didn't want to miss an episode of The Real World that's on now. It's one he hasn't seen yet."

I sighed. "What kind of reason is that to miss a meeting?"

"Well... Not much of one, but I felt kind of bad. He was a little peeved earlier. He missed Tom Green for a meeting last week"

"Oookay. And whose idea was it to give him that TV again?"

Rachel entered before I got an answer. She looked grumpy. "Tobias is on his way." she said as she took a seat.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Serious sunburn." she replied. "I was only out on the beach for like an hour!"

"Or two. Or three." I interjected. Rachel ignored that.

"The point is, now I'm in very great pain."

"Don't blame me," I said as I moved on to another cage. "I didn't want to go in the first place."

Tobias flew onto his rafter. Cassie's dad just drove off, and you're mom is still at work, right?

"Right." I nodded.

Anyway. Tobias said. What's this about?

"The Gardens." Jake said.

"The Gardens?" I said, in what was almost sharply.

Jake glanced at me and his eyes flickered with concern before he continued. "Yeah. See, Marco and I were in bird morphs flying over the Gardens and..."

"Wait a second." Rachel cut in. "What exactly were you and Marco doing in bird morph? At the Gardens?"

"Uh ...."

Tobias, Rachel and I waited expectantly.

After a second Jake sighed. "Fine, fine." he said. "See, the Gardens is building this monster roller coaster. I just wanted to... take a peek at it..." We raised an eyebrow at him. "Hey, it's supposed to be bigger and better than anything we've ever seen! And it was behind this huge wall for 'authorize personal only.' I mean, they're dramatizing so much, they're just ASKING for someone to sneak in! Marco and I just had to see it." He gave Marco a sidelong glance. "Well... I just had to see it anyway."

If Marco didn't want to see the roller coaster why did he go in the first place? Tobias asked.

"Marco," Jake said, still looking at Marco, "had his own agenda."

We all turned to Marco, who looked down at his feet. "So Marco." Rachel said, smiling slyly. "What might this agenda of yours be?"

Marco coughed. "Nothing..."

"'Fess up Marco." I said, as I continued to do rounds.

"Okay, okay. See... there's this girl."

Rachel broke into a grin. "Marco, you were stalking the poor girl?"

"No!" he said quickly. "I just.... needed to know more about her. Before I made any move. Just so I'd know what to say and do... And you see, she was at the Gardens today..."

"Stalking is illegal!" Rachel continued. "You could go to jail!"

"Excuse me," Jake said, "but can we please at least semi-stay on topic?"

"The topic!" Marco said, grateful to change the subject. "What a wonderful idea!"

"Finally." I murmured, suddenly not in a very good mood.

"Okay. What's the deal?" asked Rachel.

Marco immediately grew serious. "The Yeerks." he said. "The Roller Coaster they're making isn't only what's behind that wall. Those slugs are also making a pool entrance right behind it. Easier to get to pools, easier to get new hosts, they figure. You go in back of the coaster like you're going to the bathroom or have to throw up, but make a turn behind a bush. The entrance is right in front of this rock. Knock on the rock three times and the entrance to the Yeerk Pool is accessible."

There was an echo of silence as we all tried to figure out this abstract idea.

This is bad. Tobias said, quietly. Really bad. Do you guys realize where we'd be without the Gardens? It's the main source of all our morphs with teeth, not to mention some other essentials we need for fighting the Yeerks.

Marco nodded. "And now this place is going to become a controller hot spot. They're going to be swarming the place. They can get new recruits like that. Tell people to meet them by the new coaster... Boom! You're cornered by guards. No way we can keep up our cover there when half of the people are controllers. We're bound to do something that will set off an alarm in a Yeerk's radar... something less than a normal, innocent human would do."

"When we're at the Gardens, we can only keep the regular kid act up so long." Jake agreed. "And if a large percentage of the people there are hungry controllers..." he sighed. "It's too valuable of a resource for us. So. What should we do?"

"Destroy it." Rachel said immediately. "The quicker it's gone the less chance of getting caught. We can't risk going in and out of that place. If we stealth around at night, chances are a controller will see us and figure that kids with nothing better to do than hang out in the Gardens at midnight have no familles: perfect controllers. And I'm pretty sure they can recognize the acquiring process. I mean, they're under Visser Three's command, after all. It's probably something they need to know. They see some normal kids acquiring the animals? It won't take long for them to realize WHAT we're doing. Controllers rushing in and out, to-be hosts walking around, it just won't be safe for us. So we destroy the entrance."

"That my not be safe either." Jake said. "You should see the security on this place. Controllers covering it everywhere. The only reason they all didn't get suspicious of two birds of preys soaring right over them for ten minutes is because there was some distraction. Visser Three sending out death threats or something."

"How lovely." Rachel mumbled. "And how like him." She shrugged. "I still think we should destroy it right away. The quicker the better."

"They're moving kind of slow right now." Jake said. "And Marco and I didn't catch all of the security they have, or are planning to install."

"But..." Rachel said.

We spy it out? Tobias interrupted.

Jake nodded. "It's really the only alternative to doing nothing."

"There's always another alternative." Rachel said. But Jake looked at me. He had noticed I had been more quiet then I usually was at these meetings. Silent practically. That's because of the thoughts that were racing through my head.

"Cassie, what do you think? Should we bother with this? Is it important enough?"

I winced. I don't like making life and death decisions. Not that Jake loves to decide his friend's fate or anything, but I can't ever get used to it. "Go for it." I said, giving a weak smile. "It's... important." I gulped. "We need the Gardens. And maybe we can destroy the Yeerk Pool."

Jake didn't look satisfied with my answer but let it go. "Okay. We go But just to spy it out, Rachel. We'll figure out some meeting time and plan later."

Rachel sighed and walked off. Tobias went off to find Ax and tell him the story, and Marco left a minute after. It was just Jake and I left in the barn. I got up and began my rounds around the barn, my back turned to Jake.

"Cassie?" he said.

"What?" I asked, trying to concentrate on coaxing a baby wolf into eating.

He paused. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing really." I said stiffly. No need to worry him further. His silence told me he knew there was something else so I continued. "I'm just worried... About the mission. If we fail, the Gardens will practically be off limits." It was lame excuse, but I couldn't think straight.

"What's wrong really?" he asked, not fooled.

I turned around. "It's... Jake, my mom. She's a head vet there. What if... I mean, they're going to need to make at least half of the staff there controllers and..." I stopped, as I felt myself about to cry. I needed to stay strong. Rachel was already mad about this mission, someone would need to make sure things went the way planned.

Jake walked up to me and took my hand. "Cassie, I promise you." he said solemnly. "I will do everything in my power to make sure your mother isn't harmed."

I couldn't say anything.

Jake looked down and after a moment walked out of the barn, and left me standing there.

Chapter 2
David

I looked up. There was a man leaning over me. My rat's instincts told me to run. Run and hide. You would think after being trapped as a rat for so long, I would have been able to handle all aspects of the rodent's brain with ease. You'd be wrong. This instinct was very, very strong. The instinct of prey. The instinct that could barely stand this, this enemy peering over at me, while I simply looked up at the strong predator, helpless. I, the human, felt no fear. But the rat brain was another story. The best thing I could do was to pretend to ignore the instinct of terror, even though I heard it loud and clear.

Keyword: Pretend.

I am David. You might know me as a traitor, an ingrate, a coward. You may very well know me as a rat.

Help! I said again. Help!

"Shh, shh, calm down." the human said.

A human voice. I reveled in it. So long... So long since I had heard the voice of a human. The motor boat had brought me this. A controller, a human, And possibly my life.

I said, a bit more calmly. Only a controller would have recognized my thought-speak pleas.

"That's right." the human said. He made no attempt to hide it, and I was relieved. "And you," he continued "are an Andalite

I would of made a wry smile if I was still a human, and capable of it. But that was among the long list of what the Animorphs had stolen from me: The ability to express emotions with out saying a word. It seemed a miracle to me now, a wondrous miracle. And the Animorphs had snatched it away so that it no longer was a miracle I possessed. Just like that, in a snap.

I told the controller.

"You are trapped in a morph. I can see that much. But you are still an Andalite. Arrogant. Thinking you are the master of the galaxy. Considering us fools. You are nothing but a smug RAT now." the controller started to scream. "A RAT!!! RAT RAT RAT!" he shouted, showing the imbred anger Yeerks have for Andalites.

I laughed, silently in thought speech.

"I'm sure." the controller said with a sneer.

You have no idea. I replied.

"Don't I though?"

Well... I said, in mock consideration. Let's see. You sure got the rat part right. But the Andalite part.... Eh, I can find some errors there.

"What do you mean???" the controller snapped. But I saw that he could see that something about me was wrong. That I didn't act quite like the Yeerk idea of an Andalite.

What I mean is I'm not an Andalite, fool.

"What are you?"

Guess. I said. You might think I was trying to be annoying, but I wasn't. I just wanted to hear a human voice again.

The controller glared. "I don't have the time for games. Tell me, or I'll leave you, stranded on this rock, to lead out the rest of your miserable life as a rabies-infested rodent."

I didn't have rabies but I decided not to take offense.

I'm human. I told the controller.

He looked shocked, to say the least. "Humans?! They don't have the morphing power!"

The average human doesn't. I agreed.

"How? How did you acquire this morphing power of yours?"

From a bunch of other humans . I said easily. The bastards.

"OTHER humans? You mean...there are more? More who have this power?"

I said. I knew I wasn't exactly being nice. Then again, what has ever been gained by that? This controller wanted something of me. I wanted something of him. Mutual relationships. Still, just because I needed him, didn't mean I couldn't bluff a little, right? I didn't have to act like my life depended on this controller.

Either way, it didn't matter. The controller ignored my tone. "Tell me then, little human. Where did they, the other humans, get this power?"

I searched my memory. An Andalite . I said. I know that much. A...a...A prince. Yes. I struggled with the name, which I could barely remember. Eltooth? Edgar? Elf...Elf... I couldn't remember the rest. But I don't think I needed to. The controller mouthed the word.

"Elfangor..." he whispered.

Yeah! I said. That's it!

"Elfangor." he repeated. "Elfangor."

okay, okay, I get it. Now the thing is, I KNOW who these humans, resistant of the Yeerk empire with the morphing power are. I know their names. I know where some of them live. I know who they know. I know who the very people who have been causing you this trouble are. I know where an Andalite runs free, and what the secrets of the group members are.

The controller stared at me, mesmerized. Encouraged by his rapture in all the secrets he could discover, I continued. What I'm trying to say is, I know. And the power of my knowledge is great. If your empire gets it's hands on this knowledge the battle of earth is won and you are the Victors. And the battle of other planets may be won, because of your triumph over Earth. Help me, and I'll unlock my secrets. You don't even have to help me. Just be kind to me. And kill them. Kill them. That's all I really ask. Now that's not too much, is it my friend? The words seemed so familiar. I had planned this speech, a long long time ago. I had recited it to myself every night. To finally say the words, and have actual meaning behind them was a feeling beyond belief.

The controller stared. Finally he shook his head. "N..no. Not too much to ask at all."

YES! YES!I screamed in my head. I'M GOING TO WIN! Maybe I'll be human! Maybe! Maybe I'll win and for once the Animorphs will lose! I am going to make it! Me, myself , and I!

I remembered the controller. So. I said. Are you going to leave me here all day?

"What? Oh... No." The Yeerk didn't seem to regard me as an enemy. He scooped me up, and headed back to his motor boat. He started the motor and the rockish island, or islandish rock, dissapeard from my bad eyesight. And stay outta my sight. I thought to myself.

Freedom! The Animorphs were MINE! Mine! I'd make them suffer like I did. "I've won!" I thought to myself. "I've won!"

At which point I woke up.

Chapter Three
Cassie

"Pass the potatoes please, Cassie?"

I picked up the steaming bowl and passed it over to my mother. She dished some of the potatoes out and set them back down. My father went to the sink and washed his hands. He sat down at the table and began piling food on his plate. "So, how was school today Cassie?" he asked, wiping his glasses on his shirt.

I shrugged. "It was okay. I got a B+ on my paper in Science."

"That's great, honey!" my mom said.

"I could of done much worse." I said, making a mental note of when she said 'honey', not something she would usually say. "How was work for you guys?"

"We got some more funding from that guy who saved the rehabilitation clinic a while back. His daughter has been pestering him again. Where do these people get their money?" My father chuckled and I smiled to myself. Karen's influence, of course.

"Work went so-so for me." my mother said flatly. I could tell something was bothering her, and so could my father. We both exchanged looks of slight worry. Of course, my real worry was hidden. Had she been taken? Was my mother one of them?!

Calm down, Cassie. Take a breath. Let the air go through your lungs. Don't suspect until there's a sure reason. But I couldn't let the thought that my mother was a slave drop. Casually I took a bite of my food, swallowed and looked up.

"Hey, Mom. I heard about that new roller coaster being built. Pretty cool, huh?" I took another bite.

"No, it is not 'cool', Cassie." She put down her fork angrily, with a slam. "Those assho...er... the staff who work in the amusement park section are such morons!"

My ears perked up. "Sorry Mom." I said carefully. "What are they doing this time?"

"That roller coaster!" she said. "Do you know how much space that thing takes up?! This pointless thrill ride?"

"Um... No." I said, even more carefully. Okay, so maybe my mom wasn't a controller.

"A lot of space, that's how much!" she said. "Enough that we have to reduce the Gazelle's habitat and condense the reptile exhibit! All for some cheap ride! If you ask me there's enough rides! And all the same too. Take up lots of money. They won't even let me see the damn coaster! They said I'd get to see it soon enough but..."

"What?!" I asked, alarmed.

"They said I'd get to see it soon enough but I don't..."

"Don't go in there!" I shouted. "Mom, you can't!"

My mother looked at me strangely. "Why not Cassie?"

My mind drew a blank. "It's... not... Sanitary! No, safe! It's not safe Mom!"

She shook her head. "It may be cheap, and like every other ride in this country, but I'm sure it's safe. The Gardens is very big on safety, you know. More so than other Amusement Parks."

"Oh, yeah?" I said, trying to buy time to think. "That's what ALL the thrill parks want you to think! Everything is completely safe, until someone gets thrown out of a car or the controls stop working, or the seat belts bust, or the tracks rust, or there's a thunder storm, or you..."

"Cassie!" my mom said, stopping me. "Since when exactly did you become so paranoid?" I smiled sadly to myself. Since that day I walked through the construction site, mom. Since the day I've become responsible for stopping an alien invasion.

Of course I didn't say that. "I'm not being paranoid!" I said. "I... just don't want anything to happen to you." The truth.

"That's very sweet, Cassie." my mom said. "And maybe I'll believe you some day. But for now, let's just eat and I'll complain about the crap that's cutting into my paycheck some other day, okay?"

"All right, all right." I said. "Just promise me you won't go near the ride! Please!" It was stupid to tell her that, of course. Nothing will get in the Yeerks' way if they decide to be stubborn. If they really wanted to make her a controller we'd have to watch them all the time to stop the infestation

But my mother just raised an eyebrow and nodded. My father got up and massaged her shoulders.

"Don't worry." he said. "I'm sure that everything will be fine." He grinned. "I'll talk to those bone heads if you want. See if I can straighten things out."

The thought of what would happen to my father if he did 'talk' to mom's dear coworkers was enough to make me want to throw up.

My mother laughed. "It's a tempting offer, but that's okay, don't bother." she said, and my heart slowed down. "A few friends from work and I are going to protest later anyway." she continued. I quickly pushed away my food.

"May I be excused?" I asked weakly.

Up in my room I looked out the window, my eyes wandering over the familiar view. I barely remember when we moved to the farm, but the clearest memory was of my mom, picking me up to see what was outside the window of my room.

"This is our home, Cassie." she said.

"Our we gonna have aminals?" I asked, using most of my three year old vocabulary.

"Lots of animals." my mom replied. "And of course you'll be allowed to help daddy." This thought excited me quite a bit and I jumped out of my mom's arms and went clamoring down the stairs to help my dad set up.

I sighed, feeling stupid after getting so nostalgic. But it was comforting to think of the past through all this confusion and pain, even though it made my heart ache sometimes, whenever I think of before. My mom, a controller? The thought made me want to cry and make everyone of those slugs feel the power of a regular, cheap sneaker. I wanted them to feel the pressure and the pain as their fates were crushed, here and now. Jake said he would protect her, my mother, but as much as I trusted Jake, this didn't make me feel much better. So many things could go wrong.

I wouldn't let them get my mom. I'd stomp every one of them if they even tried. Forget the morals, my mom was more than they could ever wish to be. I'd kill them all till I'd get to my mother if I had to. Get to my mother locked in the cages at the Yeerk pool, screaming and begging and sobbing.

I realized I was crying. A tear streaked the window. I sat down on my bed. I was going to find a plan. There had to be a solution, an answer, anything. There always was one. Always an answer or some hope left. I'd find the answer or the hope.

I laid down on my bed, mentally exhausted from just thinking about the possibilities. I closed my eyes, ready to retire to a land of true nightmares, but they were in the past. A dream could be no worse than this.

The phone rang in the other room and I groaned. I got ready to ignore it. A ditz from school asking me for the answers to the homework in some class probably. She could figure it out on her own.

"Cassie!" my mother shouted up to my room. She had picked up. "It's for you!"

"Who is it?" I shouted back.

"Some boy." she answered. She paused for a second. "He says his name is Marco."

Chapter Four
David

I sobbed. I sobbed, and sobbed and sobbed. A dream. It had all been a dream. But... But it had felt so real, seemed so real. I had been so close to victory I could almost touch it. And then I find out it was all a dream.

I wanted to just lay down and die. Hope? There was no hope for me. I was left to live out the rest of my miserable life on this island of hell, with my only companions being rats. The dream was the closest I was ever going to come to my goal and my future. Why was I still here? Nothing was keeping me on this Earth.

I collapsed with the full intentions of dying. Let it go, David. I thought to myself. Let it all go. Let the past slip out of your fingertips. I'd lost. The Animorphs had won... again. I closed my eyes..

Suddenly I was no longer on the island. I was suspended in... I don't know. I was my rat self still, yet I didn't have the rat vision. I could see through things, into things. I saw complicated designs that I couldn't begin to understand. I shook my head, trying to clear it all out, but couldn't. Is this heaven? I wondered out loud. Is this hell?

NEITHER, DAVID.

I jumped... mentally at least. Who are you? I demanded. Am I dead?

The air... I don't know. I guess the only way to describe it would be to say it opened. And out of it stepped a man. He had fur covering his face, and his ears slid up higher on his face than a usual person's would, but other than that he was human... or at least human looking. But I could tell that this was only an illusion. This was not what or who he really was.

God? I whispered. I had never really believed in God, never really believed in anything. I believe in what I can see. I always assumed that spirituality was a mere myth. I was beginning to strongly doubt that fact. The force that radiated from him...

He shook his head. He looked like he wanted to laugh but didn't. "I'm no where near it." he said with a human voice. I quivered even though I could no longer see my body. It was he who put that vivid dream in my head. I knew it. "I am an Ellimist." he said at last.

Uh huh. I said dryly, putting on the tough-guy routine. And what exactly is that?

He smiled. He saw right through me. Somehow I knew. I knew he knew everything that I knew, that I had kept so carefully hidden over layers of ego. I wanted to pull a blanket over my head, even though I know he could see through that too. I wanted to run away but I couldn't move.

"What am I?" he repeated. The voice was not the huge resounding voice any more. It was a human voice... and yet so much more. "I am more than you could ever imagine. But leave it at this: I am a being that sometimes... well... let's just say aids the Animorphs."

I would have spit at him if I could. But I was too frightened. I had tried to kill the Animorphs. And this guy had transported me into this... well whatever it was. He had power. I didn't. I could suck up to him. I thought desperately, my mind reeling.

"That won't work." He said. My stomach turned. He had read my thoughts! And I knew deep inside that he had read much more. More. It was all I could clearly think. He was more. More than me, more than what he seemed, saw more, knew more, believed more.

The Animorphs... They... My family... I started sobbing in my head. Real sobs, not planned sobs. I cried and cried and cried for who knows how long. It could of been minutes. It could of been no time at all. The Ellimist's face stayed stoic. Finally, after I had quieted down he said, "I said I aid the Animorphs."

GO AHEAD! I screamed. Torture me! Do you're worse! I tried to kill your precious Animorphs. Just go ahead and make me suffer for it! I don't care any more!

"David." he said quietly. "You too, are an Animorph."

I stared at him. W..what..? But I tried to kill them! Why would you help me?

"You are needed." he answered. "And you are an Animorph. You may not fight along side them, you may despise them, but whether you like it or not, you are an Animorph. And I will help you."

I think even as a rat my mouth dropped open. Will you give me... Will you give me...

"Your old human body?"

"Yes." I whispered. Sound?! "AHH!!!" I jumped in the air. On two legs. A voice! I had a human voice! And hands! Human hands and feet! It was me... Back in my own body. The Ellimist smiled. I turned on him suddenly. "There must be a catch!" I said. I realized suddenly that the fur on the Ellimist's "face" was gone, and the ears were in the normal human place. "There must be! Where do you benefit on such a deal?!"

"I do not benefit." he answered. "This is for your cause only."

"Yeah, right." I said, rolling my eyes .

"What if I do have a benefit?" he said. "Why would you care? It does not effect you."

"It does if the Animorphs kill me!" I said.

"That depends on your own doing, David."

"There must be some catch!" I said again. "Will I only remain human for a certain amount of days? Have to demorph to rat?"

He shook his head to both.

"The Controllers will all recognize and take me!"

"They have all forgotten about you and those who remember, their memory of your physical appearance will be wiped. No controllers will know who you are unless you make yourself known."

"The morphing ability! I won't have the morphing ability! That's it, right?"

"You will have the morphing ability, and all the morphs you have previously acquired."

"But... there must be a catch! You're sending me out to kill the Animorphs!"

"No. I'm restoring your human body. What you do afterwards is your choice."

I looked at him in disbelief. Was this guy serious?

Oh well. I wasn't going to wait around to find out. "So. Can I leave now?" I asked.

I was back on the island as soon as the words left my mouth and the echo was still fresh. Human eyesight, human skills. A rat came scurrying out and stared at me for a second. Before it could run back I stepped on it's tail so it was trapped and stomped on it with my shoe. "DIE!" I screamed. "You filthy rodent!"

Hope. A new feeling, a wonderful feeling. It made me want to cry real tears. Human tears. But I didn't cry. No more crying, from now on it would be laughter and fun and my old life back

After I killed the Animorphs.

Chapter Five
Cassie

"He says his name is Marco." my mom called up.

I felt an awful sinking sensation. I couldn't even get two hours to forget my life as an Animorph temporarily. So much for putting things on hold.

"Cassie, are you coming?"

I walked downstairs and took the phone from my mother.

"Hey, Marco." I said.

"Who died?" he asked. I must have sounded depressed.

"uh." I mumbled in reply.

His voice laughed from the other end. "Or is it that someone's still living?"

"Marco," I said snappishly, "what do you want?"

"I can't just be calling to catch up on the latest gossip?"

"Uh-uh."

"But I want to know about all the recent breakups!"

"Marco. You are calling me. And I want to know why."

"We were wondering if you'd like to come to the beach again tomorrow. With some friends from school."

"Beach." I echoed.

"Yeah. But, you know, it can be hard to find a few people at a crowded beach on a weekend, so we figured we'd all meet at the bus stop."

It was a code. We'd meet at the bus stop, but we wouldn't go to the beach. We'd go to the Gardens. We'd go to find out another way to get ourselves killed. But for now we'd pretend that we were going to spend a happy day at the beach.

I really hate paranoia.

"I don't know." I said. "Isn't it a little soon to be going to the beach?" It was, after all, right after a meeting. "I don't know if I can take much more fun after today's trip. How about next week?"

"Jake and I decided that it would be easier to just get this over with. Pretty soon it'll be too cold to even think about going to the beach. And I have plans next week anyway."

"Oh." I said, at a dead end.

"So can you make it? And call Rachel and tell her about our new plans?"

"Sure." I answered. "It sounds like fun."

"Oooh yeah." he replied. "The fun won't stop till tomorrow is over."

~~~

Jake, Rachel, Marco, Ax and I stood in front of the Gardens entrance. I was fidgety, jumpy. Couldn't help it. My mother was at stake. My own mother, the one who took care of me when I was sick, and helped me with my homework and worried when I came home late. I looked at Marco, smirking, even as his mouth moved with some joke. Was this what it was like?

Tobias flew overhead. We needed him in the air to keep watch. After we paid to an attendant who looked about ready to jump off a cliff for some excitement, we silently walked to the amusement park section. I think we were all feeling a little creeped out, like we were surrounded by controllers, even though the roller coaster wasn't finished and the entrance wasn't in use yet, according to Jake and Marco anyway.

The bad LOUD music hit me first. I've never liked the rides at the garden, or any other theme park for that matter. Everything seems so artificial, and gives off this bad, unnatural feeling. I've never been one for rides that make you want to throw up, or those thrill rides that bash your head around as you hang what seems like hundreds of feet up in the air.

We walked up to the wall hiding the roller coaster, which had pictures of the monster in progress. A crowd was gathered around, talking eagerly, glancing at the detailed sketches hung here and there. But it wasn't the pictures that were impressive.

It was the wall.

It was huge. Wooden, amazingly, but thick. It went up for what looked like miles (of course at most it was a few hundred feet, but you know how roller coasters look from the ground...) No curves, no twists, nothing bending back. A regular wall that went on and on. And on. And on.

"We get passed that?" Rachel said, looking straight up, squinting from the sunlight.

"It shouldn't be too hard." Jake murmured.

"Uh... Jake?" Marco said, tearing his eyes away from the height for second. "In case you haven't already, how about looking up?"

"Size isn't everything, Marco." Jake said and laughed. "I sound like one of those Godzilla ads turned around. Anyway, the Yeerks security is up to a really really...really really big wall? Doesn't seem like such a threat."

"I believe Prince Jake is right. Ja-KUH. This wall does not seem particularly strong. It's what is beyond it that worries me. eee."

"Don't call me Prince." Jake grumbled.

"Yes Prince Jake."

You guys? Tobias's voice in our heads. It looks like there's going to be a little meeting with some of the Garden's staff . Most of the staff going is... higher in position. In about half an hour the meeting starts. Want to try and make it?

"What do you guys think?" Jake said.

Rachel of course said yes. Quickly. Marco and Ax did too, with slightly more hesitance however.

I gulped as they turned to me.

"Cassie?" Marco said.

"Uhm... Why not?" I mumbled.

After a pause, Jake looked up into the sky and nodded so Tobias could see.

All right, you should hurry up. Not much time.

"Do we want to do this?" Jake said to all of us, but he was looking at me. I looked down, suddenly not able to stand his glance.

But we all nodded. Ax saw what we all were doing and nodded vigorously.

"Then let's go." he said. "Morph in the bathrooms. Our only choice. Something with reasonable eyes, and something that blends in." He walked away from the wall and we followed him, Ax stumbling slightly, dizzy from his nod.

"Ax, can you ask Tobias if he'd pick us up in fly morph?"

"Flies?" Rachel made a face. "Not the best eyes, Jake."

Jake shrugged. "You can't say we won't fit in and the eyes are all right, once you get used to them. Tobias can take us over the wall, drop us off above the bathroom." Jake took a breath and turned. "Ax?"

"Yes Prince Jake."

"Don't call me..."

Tobias? Ax said to Tobias.

Yeah, Ax-man?

Can you pick us up from the bathrooms? Take us over the large human wall to the other side and drop us off at the other bathroom there?

Sure. he said.

"Then do it." Jake said. I was disturbed by his readiness to put Tobias, his friend, in danger. Was I losing Jake to this war too? Sometimes I feet like I already lost Rachel. My mother and now Jake? I felt dizzy. Exhausted, even though I hadn't done anything exerting. I could tell I wasn't myself lately. I should of told Marco no way, too much homework tomorrow, no beach. Busy next week? That's fine. See you in two weeks. Hang up the phone. Walk up into my room and sleep. Go to school and avoid Jake and Rachel and Marco. Face Rachel questioning me like I was in court, "how much homework did you really have? Need any help? Couldn't you have made it anyway?" See Marco scoff at me. And worse of all, see Jake's honest concern.

They wouldn't be that bad, maybe. But just the same, who could stand it? All those emotions, even lessened, hitting you all at once, while you worry about your mother's life.

Rachel and Marco respect me, I know. But sometimes it seems as if they think I'm weak. It's not that they're awful, cold, people. I love them. But I can't stand that look. When they look at me like I'm a different species all together.

How can Ax stand that?

Worse is when they look at me warily. Here comes some more moral crap. Deal with it the best you can, let her keep talking. Let her hear the sound of her own voice and then leave and get the job done, with or without her.

We headed over to the bathrooms, Jake, Marco and Ax peeling off. Rachel and I looked around the scaringly clean women's room. Rachel looked at me and raised an eyebrow. "My eyes hurt."

"Well, the Gardens always makes big deals out of how sanitary their park is." I said, in a tone just above a whisper, not to sound suspicious talking about clean bathrooms as if we were up to something- though I had a feeling Rachel would have said that, Animorph or not.. "They need some proof to back the whole clean-thing up." I shrugged. "Anyway, it makes the job a lot easier on us."

Rachel nodded vigorously. "Good point. I got no complaint." She grinned and headed into an empty stall. I did the same. I felt the changes begin. Two huge glistening fly wings with light rainbows streaked across them sprouted out of my back. Very cool. Now if only this was the end of the morph.

The next to go were my eyes, and I can't say I wasn't glad since I've never been particularly fond of the rest of the morph. Before I could adjust to the fly eyes I felt this heavy falling sensation that over took me. Falling through nothing but a dizzy mess: my eyesight. Meanwhile, I had to worry about anybody coming in.

I didn't hear a scream. No one had entered the stall.

Unless, of course, they fainted before they could scream.

Once the morph was completed I called out, Rachel?

I'm almost done. she said. There was a pause. Okay, let's go. Er, let's do it!

I smiled to myself. Can't have a mission without Rachel's blessing.

Amen to that. she said and laughed at how gung-ho she was being, as usual. I laughed too, a real laugh. My mood was lightening. Having Jake as a boyfriend is amazing, and I don't know what I'd do without him. But who else knows how to cheer you up better than your best friend? Follow the light. I said, as I zipped out of the bathroom into open air, Rachel behind me.

Tobias? she said. Jake? Where are you guys?

I found Marco. Tobias said. He's somewhe... Ack, Marco, get out of my eye! He's somewhere on my head. Still looking for Jake and Ax. These flies are hard to keep an eye on in a place like the Gardens. Can you guys all land some where together?

We'll try. Jake said. Hey, Cassie, Ax and Rachel? Try and assemble somewhere where there aren't any people. We don't want anyone to see Tobias. Try for that garbage can that's back in the bushes some ways.

That was easy to find. Soon the garbage can had five more flies than before. We saw the huge missile- Tobias- come heading straight for it in a dive as slow as possible. Okay, all of you hop on in five... four... three... two... We all buzzed onto the missile.

Are you all on? Jake asked. Yes. I'm here. Now let me get off. Don't let me hear how my mother's fate is in the shifting, how she could be minutes away from

I am here, Prince Jake. Ax said. a life as a slave to a filthy slug.

Present! Marco piped up cheerfully, like it was roll call in class. From having to obey the commands of a Yeerk, from having to listen to it's plans to destroy the wildlife she loved so much. She wouldn't be my mother. I might never speak to her again. Life without my mom. Life with a slug from outer space. Slight change there. Might be a wee bit of teenage angst as I plotted the death to the Yeerk inside my mother's head with details fresh and real.

And Cassie and I made it on too. Rachel said. I think. Cassie?

Huh? Oh. Yeah.

Okay, we are now reaching our destination. Tobias said.

Please fasten your seat belts, ladies and gentlemen. Rachel said in a high pitched voice. And prepare for some major kicking of Yeerk butt. Thank you for flying Red Tailed Airlines.

I do not understand. Ax said, and Tobias chuckled, but Jake cut in sharply.

This is just to spy it out. No kicking Yeerk butt. he said forcefully. Then more calmly, leveling his voice, No fighting. No battle. Not yet. We're just going to listen in on them, see if we learn something we can use to our advantage. We have plenty of time to make a plan.

Unless they take her by then. You said you would protect her, Jake. Will you keep that promise? Or will you forget it for the good of the group? The good of the group is more important, of course. You'll comfort me, pat me on the back, as my mother is dragged under and away. Say you did everything you could.

Yeah, yeah. Rachel said, acting like she had blown that off, but actually taking his words to heart. She doesn't like to be an Ax, obeying Jake's every word. It makes her more comfortable to disguise how much she listens and respects him. Sometimes it's hard to tell who has more pride: Rachel or Ax.

We're almost there. Tobias said. I'm going to move behind the other side of the wall... Don't want anyone seeing me.

Right. Jake said. A few moments later Tobias came diving down to the earth, and then made an abrupt halt.

You guys, I'm standing on the other side of the wall. Not many people are here, it's just raw fields, but I don't feel comfortable, just sitting out in the open like this.

You should get out of here Tobias. Rachel said. We'll be fine, don't need you to endanger yourself.

You sure, Rach?

Positive. She paused for a second. Tobias and Rachel were talking in private thought speak, I was sure. It made me feel an extra edge on uncertainty. Were they saying those frantic good-byes hidden in the words good luck, I love you, be safe? Jake and I said those, on the dangerous missions that we dived into with no weapon but hope. The ones where there was a chance we wouldn't come out of it. Was Rachel trying to make this more than a spy-out mission? She might. I should have told her about my mom. But I couldn't bring the words out.

It almost hurt me. No one else but Jake remembered my mom worked here. But really, how much did I expect of them? Marco had gone- no, was going through an emotional roller coaster. He thought he killed his mom. She turned out to be alive. Tobias had just been tortured to the brink of death. Ax had been having a rough time lately, I notice, his heart becoming more torn everyday, between his friends and his people. And Rachel was fighting a private battle between the warrior and the girl everyday. Even if we beat the incredible odds and win this war one day, it may not even matter by then. Those words were surprisingly bitter sweet, instead of just depressing. It may not even matter by then.

We had begun moving. Tobias had flown off, and we were on the other side of the wall. The bathrooms weren't particularly hard to fine. Flies are pretty good at some things. Not exactly things you would want to be good at, but sometimes it's useful, although rarely pleasant. The five of us gathered on the roof of one of the bathrooms.

So. This Yeerk meeting is going to be fun. Marco said. Men in suits, dude! The proclaimed rulers of the world! Hey, scratch world. The Universe! Forget the Yeerks or the Andalites. These guys have POWER! Not to mention more control than the Yeerks could ever hope for!

Uh... Marco? Jake said.

Sorry... he said. Uh-oh. Don't tell me that pixy stix transfer into morphs.

Ax perked up at this. I believe that is impossible, Marco. he said. But I have had the sugar candy, pixy stixs They were quite delicious, although they tasted rather chemical.

Chemicals are also the proclaimed rulers of the world, Ax-man. Marco said. Sugar and chemicals. You can't tell me that a combination like that doesn't make your mouth water... in human morph, of course.

No, I cannot honestly tell you that the mixture does not sound appealing. Personally, I think that none of the pixy stix are quite so satisfying as the blue sugar.

Blues are good. Marco agreed. But none of the other flavors are halfway up to par with the orange pixy stix.

Orange? Ax said, with a pitying laugh. I'm afraid you are mistaken. The blues are certainly dominating, as far as a pleasant taste goes.

I think not! Marco shot back brilliantly.

You are entitled to your own opinion, of course. But I must disagree with that false point. I repeat: Blues are superior. Ax paused for a second. Then, Are we going to the meeting now, Prince Jake?

All of us remained silent.

Umm... Don't call me Prince? Jake replied hesitantly.

Is that a question or a statement, Prince Jake? Ax said, sounding confused.

Yeah. I mean no. You know, just forget it. He sighed. Tobias? he called out. Will you guide us to the place of the meeting if you can hear this?

Yeah, sure. Tobias replied.

Tobias? Rachel said. You're close enough for thought-speak? That's dangerous! The Yeerks are on the lookout for morphs. They're familiar with yours!

Don't worry, Rachel. Tobias said, reassuringly. I'm out of sight.

If you say so. Rachel mumbled, sounding like she didn't believe a word of that. Tobias led us to the spot of the meeting. Through, right, left, forward. Turn. Left. We traveled in a pack. Bad for security, yes. But we couldn't lose any one. There was only eight minutes left till the meeting started, and we were hoping to get there before it started, so we could keep an ear open for important small talk. It was surprising how much you could learn from the gossip of aliens.

Finally we got to the meeting with a couple of minutes to spare. It was on the edge of the wall, inside a not yet in-use lost and found center that had been placed there. Pretty big, air conditioned. Only about ten controllers.

Hah! Marco said. All wearing suits!

Oh, shut up Marco. Rachel said good naturally. We all scattered, finding a safe hidden place, and began listening to the controllers. They were talking, nervously,

"Did you hear about the council's new verdict?" one said in a hushed whisper.

"New verdict? Why would I hear about that? It's only all over the home world."

"No need to be sarcastic." was the reply. "Don't tell me you're becoming a human, Lartis." I made a note of that. They talked on a first name basis.

"This coming from the yeerk who was half an hour late for duty because she was occupied with a human television program."

"It was a special!" the yeerk said, like that was an explanation. "Mike and Carrie's LAST DAY on the show! They were getting married. It was a happy ending." We heard a sniffle from the Yeerk who said that. I could tell Marco was using all of his strength to stifle a laugh.

I saw that! Ax said excitedly to us. It was so sweet! They rode off on a horse. Though why they left Sami to Austin I will never know. He too, gave a sniffle.

Once again our group could do nothing but remain silent.

"Happy ending indeed." one of the yeerks said, rolling his eyes. "If Sami gets her hands on Austin after she lied, cheated and manipulated, I swear I'll..."

"How can any of you watch that human sap?" The yeerk, Lartis said. "The Simpsons are QUITE more intellectual, and portrays the true human, while managing to be witty at the same time. And Sovarn, why didn't you simply TAPE the show, instead of being late for your duty? Not so smart after all, hm?"

"The new Simpsons are on at eight, no?" someone else said, while Sovarn grumbled ,

"It's not the same watching it on tape."

"Eight, that's right." Lartis replied.

"Then I can't watch it." the someone said. "I'm watching Felicity then."

"FELICITY?!" the other nine shouted.

The someone jumped back. "What's wrong with that?! Why am I constantly harassed for watching Felicity?"

"It moves at the pace of a turtle in a coma is why!"

"It's a GOOD show, okay?! It's gotten better. Just because I have an attention span about twice as high as you morons doesn't mean..." Total chaos erupted after this, and all the while Ax was mumbling in our heads, Felicity isn't bad, but it does not rate with the Simpsons. Foolish Yeerk. I suppose it watches that lifeless show Passions too...

I heard a door close and suddenly there was silence.

"Good afternoon." a voice said.

"Good afternoon, Iniss 226." the Yeerks all replied immediately like kindergartners, stumbling over the words slightly from their surprise. Iniss 226. Chapman.

Did you guys catch that? Marco said.

Huh? What? That Chapman's working on this project? Rachel asked.

No. I answered. Well, that too. But listen to them. The Yeerks are afraid of him.

They've always been though. Jake said. I mean, Chapman's a high-ranking controller.

Not that high-ranking. Marco said. He must have moved up in the ranks.

He is in charge of this project. Ax said. And if I'm not mistaken this is a very important project at that. Many more controllers, easier pool access, and Visser Three will certainly have more access to the many useful Earth morphs we have acquired here.

I felt my stomach... all the way in Z-space maybe... drop. My mom. The Visser would need to be in contact with her to acquire the morphs here.

To be in charge of this says many things about his rank. Ax finished.

Point made. Jake agreed. Chapman's moved up. Not good news for our school either.

Remember the good ol' days when you made yourself feel better by thinking that your school was probably part of an alien conspiracy whenever you got detention? Marco asked.

Well... no. Rachel said.

Marco ignored that. Who would have thought it was true?

"The project is going well." Chapman said, sitting down at the head of a desk all the controllers were sitting around. "Faster then we've expected. Tonight the construction crew shall all be brought down through the new entrance for infestation"

The controller we recognized as Lartis timidly spoke up. "Do you think it might be...er, wiser, to wait until we are closer to completion of this Roller Coaster before we start the infestation?"

"No!" Chapman snapped. "It's too dangerous. With twenty or so of the crew running around we can't keep our cover forever."

Suddenly another fly buzzed in besides me. Hi guys.

Tobias? I asked.

Yep. I saw Chapman coming in here and figured you guys might need some help.

Chapman's moved up in rank. Rachel said tersely. And they're planning on making the whole construction crew into controllers tonight.

Whew. Great. Tobias said.

"Lartis 446 and Sovarn 391 are in charge of assembling the crew. Hork-bajir will be there to keep them under control. Two of you make sure to be backed up with enough dracon beams for ten of us. I'd rather be safe than sorry, with Visser Three breathing down our back I'm sure you all feel the same way."

There was a murmur of agreement.

Suddenly we heard a loud, angry knocking at the door. The group was silent for a minute and the knocking continued. Chapman frowned, as a guard came stumbling in the room. "I thought I specifically requested that we NOT be interrupted!" Chapman snapped, while the guard nervously wrung his hands.

"Yes sir." the guard said. "But the people at the door won't go away!"

"Oh fine." Chapman mumbled. "Let them in. We'll deal with them anyway we need to."

The guard went to open the door and a little more than fifteen people came pouring in. They were shouting angrily. Protesters. I didn't even hear what they were saying at first, because at that moment my rotten fly eyes focused on someone in the crowd, and the Earth detached itself from me.

In the crowd. My mom.

"By the way," Chapman said over the noise, "Felicity is one of my favorite shows. I advise you think twice next time, before you berate it, or your head will be mine."

Chapter Six
David

I cruised down the streets, confident, sure. It was hard to be anything but. My human body back. Yeerk worry-free, and most importantly, morphs restored. My morphs. They were the power and the strength I needed. Without them I was what? Just another weak kid. Another nobody. What kind of fool would deny power when it was right in front of them, in their reach?

The Animorphs, that's who. Pretending to be moral while they killed. Pretending to be morals as they trapped me and took away my life. I really don't care what you're like, as long as you don't pretend to be something you're not. That's what the Animorphs wanted me to do: Pretend to be grateful to them. For what? Shoving me into the middle of a war with no choice? After I had just lost my parents? I was supposed to be grateful for that?! Sorry. Not happening.

People were giving me nervous glances. I've never been really big or anything, average size, average weight. Before, when I was younger, I use to just melt back into the crowd. Then I got smarter, and realized I couldn't get anywhere in life like that. I guess I sound power-hungry, but really, I'm not. I just wanted to go about my life having fun, not overweighed with worries and morals. The nervous glances told me that average size or not, I could get places. And people could sense that. It scared them. I smiled, as my strides grew longer.

I was walking. Just walking. I had gotten off the island by boat. I had found a canoe tied to a rock. It was half filled with water and had two paddles floating dismally in it, but I jumped in anyway. Some Ellimist must have been in the paddles, since I could have flown with those paddles as I quickly made it to an empty shore. It was one I had explored the first day I got to this town, so it wasn't extremely difficult to find my way out. Now I was walking aimlessly. And I was happy too. People ignore human eyes. True they aren't that great, but the eyes of a rat aren't all that wonderful either. I thought about morphing Golden Eagle but decided against it. All I really needed was this life.

And the Animorphs dead, of course.

Who to kill first?

Jake came into my mind immediately. If he was gone, the Animorphs wouldn't last much longer. All of their special little abilities wouldn't last with out a leader to bring those powers together. Yes, Jake was certainly the best one to kill first, if only for the qualities of leadership he carried. He was also annoying and tiresome, but that was besides the point.

So. Number One on my to-do list is to kill Jake. But I didn't know where he lived. I didn't know where any of them lived come to think of it. I mean, Cassie was out on some farm, but I had know idea where. Oh hell, how long was it going to take to find them? The last thing I needed was to go on a missing person search.

I sighed. I deserved a breather. Of course I did! I'd been a rat, and here I was, spending my time walking. Stupid. I scanned my dimming memory of life as a human, trying to remember a place, any place, where I could forget revenge, or at least clear my head.

"My mom works there." Cassie said. I nodded, distantly. "You'll like it." she said, trying to get something out of me. "It's a zoo and all, but the animals are really happy, especially considering they aren't in their natural habitat."

"You can't speak for them." I said, suddenly. She looked at me strangely.

"You're right." she said, to my surprise. I had expected criticism. "I don't know that they're happy. Humans have observed, and because of that they automatically assume they're right. Maybe they are."

"You shouldn't assume that your right just like that. You make mistakes, but you keep going, right? You can't give up because something isn't right the first time. That's the loser's way to play."

I wasn't sure what we were talking about anymore. I saw the look on Cassie's face. She was registering this. Folding it away in a file cabinet in case she needed access to it.

"The Gardens. You'll like it there."

The Gardens. Amusement park. What better way to forget something momentarily then by rocketing at high speeds to the ground? What better way to stay in the moment?

I remembered the way there. My family moved so many times I had gotten use to knowing the way around places quickly. Get use to things, start having a life, move to another state, and start it all again. It was a routine. A continuing cycle that never seemed to stop. Pathetic that one of my "amazing" abilities was knowing my way around.

I walked over to the bus stop and fished out some money in my pocket. I smiled. I had always left money in my pockets. I knew it would have to come in handy some day. The bus to the Gardens came rolling by, slow but solid. I hopped on, paid, and took a seat.

No psychic feelings. No leap of faith. Just a kid wanting to have some fun before he murdered a group of people.

I mean, why not the Gardens?

Chapter Seven
Cassie

I was hanging from the ceiling, terrified. I was watching myself being terrified. My emotions were far away. It reminded me of being a controller. Everything was happening far off. But not to me. Never to me.

Chapman laughed. As if on que all the other controllers started laughing too. The group of protesters glared.

Chapman and the group laughed for another ten seconds. Then Chapman stopped abruptly, the other's not long behind.

"What do you want?" he asked sharply.

"The Roller Coaster is a nuisance!" someone spoke up from the crowd.

"How so?" Chapman asked, genially, falling back into the role of a caring community person.

My mother walked forward I tried to warn her to stop, to run, but I couldn't seem to form the thoughts and direct them towards her. My mind was an odd jumble of memories and random thoughts. Couldn't control my thoughts.

Help me God!

Somehow I managed to comprehend what was going on. Barely. My mother stepped forward with what could have been a booklet. "THIS," she said forcefully, "contains your answers. It lists all the problems with this new contraption." Chapman began flipping through the pages.

Cassie? A voice ran through my head. Cassie! the voice said, desperately. It was Jake.

Yes? I said. A little weakly, but personally I thought I controlled my thought-speak voice well.

Yes?! Like you didn't know Rachel burst out. Cassie this is your MOM! Talking to Chapman! Arguing with Chapman. Arguing, for goodness sakes! Are you okay?!

I'm fine, Rachel. I said, sincerely as possible.

FINE? Hah! I'm your best friend! Since when did you have to lie to me? You knew about this! Remembered about your Mom and didn't tell us, even while it was eating you up. Since when did you have to fake your emotions and...

Rachel... Tobias said, calmly. She stopped. I was glad. I felt... I don't know. I'm not sure what I felt at that moment, but all I know was that I didn't want to blow up at Rachel. Rachel shows that she's concerned by getting tied up in her emotions, like a kitten tangled in a ball of yarn. She trips over herself trying to straighten it all out, and sometimes the only way she deals with her confusion is through anger.

This isn't the time Rachel. Jake said, angry too now. Rachel said nothing, but I'm sure this only infuriated her more.

Cassie... Ax said. He sounded concerned, not sure how to show it. At least we know your mother is not a controller. She would certainly not confront Chapman like this if she was.

Ax is right. Jake said, kindly. She's your mother and just your mother.

I knew that! I snapped. I could tell. I'm her daughter. My question is, how long will it be? "Oh she's no controller" you guys say. Like that means anything! She's opposing Chapman. Opposing the Yeerks! And last time I checked, she didn't have the morphing power to defend herself. So how long do you think I can be happy about having a controller-free mom, Jake?

Cassie, he said calmly, look. I've been there. My dad was almost a controller, remember? It's tough even thinking about the possibilities. But he's free. And your mom will be too.

Sorry Jake. I said. Somehow your wonderful 'been there, done that' speech just doesn't make me feel better. And as for my mom being free, I can't have your word. I need a guarantee. As much as I care and love you Jake, your word's not good enough any more. I don't need you to be my anchor. Just because you say it's going to be all right doesn't mean it will. Your words don't mean anything any more! I remember when they use to comfort us. Make us feel like, you know, maybe we would survive the insanity of what we were going through. But the words are nothing any more. You're just saying what you need to say to make us keep going. You aren't anything you say anymore. Just a fraud, playing friend.

I regretted the words right after the anger fell out of them, but they had flown out of my head before I could stop them. There was silence between our group.

Cassie, Marco said trying to be gentle and breaking the silence. Maybe you should take an out on this mission, huh? Just a rest. I paused. I wasn't sure if I should be touched or not. Marco could actually be concerned about me. Or he could just want me out before I totally cracked and put all my friends' lives and the mission in danger.

No Marco. I said. I'm making sure nothing happens to my mother. I'm staying here.

After that we were all quiet. Chapman was murmuring to himself as he looked through the papers my mother had given him. Finally he looked up.

"Well." he said briskly. "This is quite a presentation you've given."

"No need to talk like we're junior high school students!" my mother's friend, Joyce snapped. "We're adults, just like you."

"Oh, but that's the whole reason I got the training and took on this job. I'm just the vice principal. The principal is managing our school quite nicely, and this area of work needed a more... organized approach." Chapman said earnestly. "Don't you agree?"

"If we agreed," my mother said between her teeth, "we wouldn't be here. We think this should have no approach period!" I wanted to smile, despite the desperate situation. Some people make the mistake of thinking that, because my mother works with animals, she would be calm, gentle, more accommodating rather than aggressive. This isn't true at all. Not that my mother doesn't have qualities like patience. She's not a totally rash, aggressive, angry person and her stubborn nature makes her good with animals, as she won't give up on them or suddenly get scared when a tiger is conscious and under her care. It's just she's not a pushover. She won't let people walk all over her. This case was not an exception.

My mother took a breath, and looked at Chapman expectantly.

Chapman nodded, like he was thinking deeply. "Yes. Yes I see."

There was silence in the room. Silence between the protesters, the other controllers, and our little group. It got to the point where it was almost uncomfortable. It sure as hell made me uncomfortable to think this whole thing was in Chapman's hands. The fight was balancing on Chapman. But it couldn't move unless he pushed it. He wouldn't leave it there, to balance, teetering dangerously for an eternity, would he?

"Well." he said brightly, as he put the papers down and folded his hands on the desk "There must be some way we can settle this so both parties are happy."

"What?" a protester said, a confused look passing over his face. "How?"

"We're in the middle of a meeting currently. You'll just have to come over late. We'll... arrange something." He smiled, and all the controllers were struggling to keep a straight face.

The protesters glanced at each other. "We'll come over around eight or nine." my mother said. The protesters left the lost and found office, looking baffled. Once they were gone, the controllers broke out into laughter. It wasn't hard to figure out why.

The arrangement would be a lovely little trip to the Yeerk pool, along with the construction crew. And I was sure my mother would be all for the roller coaster by the next day.

Of course, not if I had my way.

After the last exchange I was even more lost. Fragments of memory, fragments of thoughts and unconnected words went through my head. Some how, I reached out of that muddle. I managed to form a thought, with all the words in the right place. Managed to direct it to Jake, Rachel Tobias, Marco and Ax. They weren't getting my mother. Not now, not ever.

Battle morphs, guys. I said. I could already see the wolf come running at Chapman, lunging for the throat.

David
Chapter 8

I smiled as I walked down the clean pavement of the Gardens, carrying blue (not to mention half eaten) cotton candy in one hand, and an ice cream cone (vanilla) in the other. I took a bite out of each happily. I closed my eyes and breathed in the scent of the Gardens. The amusement park section had this wonderful feeling going through it. Like charged electricity that vibrated through the air. The music helped keep the energy in place. There was the adrenaline rush passing by, the rush that comes from thrill rides. But it wasn't a bad rush. A kind of I'm-scared-and-loving-it rush coming from hundreds of people.

I'm not making any sense at all. I told myself, looking back at what I had just thought. I grinned and ripped away some more at the cotton candy. The nice thing was that I didn't care. I was rambling and eating cotton candy and ice cream at the same time, and if the Animorphs found out I was human again I'd probably be dead before I could tell them all to go to hell. And the wonderful thing was I didn't give a damn.

My day so far had been filled with old experiences turned new and exciting. First, and most importantly, food. Sugar! Salt! Grease! Magnified with wonderful human taste buds. How had I ever lived so long without them? I made sure I had my share of all, still wondering how my pocket was surviving this.

The amusement park rides made the day. Forgot everything for a couple of minutes, just saw the track curving upside down, or that I was about to tumble straight to the floor. I even played a couple of games at the stands. You know, the ones made specifically to cheat you out of your money. To my surprised I won something. An incredibly cheap looking plastic smily face. I ended up giving it to a wailing little girl, around four. She had lost five games at the stands and was obviously very upset about it. She squealed with delight when I handed her the cheap smily and she ran off, swinging it around and laughing. I won't go all cheesy on you and say it was the best part of the day, because it wasn't. But I guess I can't honestly say it didn't soothe something inside of me. I mean it did, just a little bit.

Human beings haven't done all that much for me. But it was nice being back with my "fellow man" rather than rats. People. Normal. Put those two words together. Being around people was normal. And since this was obviously a weekend I wasn't all that shocked the find the Gardens littered with people. Normally I'd be complaining, saying this park was just a commercialism thing. Probably was. But I didn't feel like being cynical. Not today.

I sat down at a bench, squinting from the sun, and sighed, feeling satisfied. I bet the Animorphs could never have this much fun. I thought. Not that they'd ever want to.

I sighed. Even one little thought about the Animorphs was bringing down my mood. Why? When did this happen?

When did killing the Animorphs become an obsession of mine?

It was an obsession, I knew it. And I didn't care, I realized. I had been dead set on revenge ever since I first saw that little island, and I couldn't back out now.

I dug into my pocket and pulled out a buck. I walked up the soda machine, did my best to uncrumple the dollar and slid it in, pounding on the orange soda button. Only as the soda began to clamor down did I come out of my thoughts and notice a large crowd I had wandered over to unconsciously. I picked up my soda and wandered into the crowd. Luckily, not much wandering was needed before I saw what they were all so in awe about.

It was a wall. Huge. Big. A gigantic wall that blocked an area- not too large of an area either- from sight.

I tried to get a glimpse at the pictures hung around, but the crowd was much too thick. It almost made me laugh. There was amazing rides that allowed people to go UPSIDE DOWN so high in the air without falling at great speeds. Denying gravity. And yet it was still just utter size that impressed humans. A wall that did nothing. But it was big. Size was something that amazed people all on it's own.

"Daaaddy." a little kid cried. "I wanna see what's behind it! Lemee see!" The child looked very close to a tantrum in front of everyone The father looked like he wanted to shoot out of there and be on the first plane to Hawaii before the fit started. Luckily the boy's mother picked him up.

"Daddy'll take you to see it later. LATER."

The boy pouted and I politely tapped a passerby on his shoulder.

"Excuse me," I said "but what exactly is the commotion here all about? What's behind that wall?" The man, an old looking guy grinned widely. "A roller coaster, son! One reaching heights and speeds beyond all of our imagination! They don't want us to be able to see the coaster, you see. So they built that..." He pointed to the wall, just in case I had missed something as big as Canada.

"Roller Coaster?" I echoed.

"Mmhmm!" the old man said nodding, looking glad to have someone to talk to. "Touches the sky, doesn't it son? It'll be some machine when it's done, I'll tell you that!" Just then a few kids, who must have been his grandchildren ran up, and he swung them around as they laughed. A perfect family picture, as if someone wanted to rub the fact that my mom and dad were gone in my face. I stepped away, not wanted anymore.

I sighed, as I took a gulp of my soda, pushing through the people, trying to see the pictures on the wall. As it was, the more I pushed forward the more I got pushed to the side. Finally I managed to see a picture, and I guess that the roller coaster DID look pretty cool. Hopefully I'd still be alive to see it when it was done. Then again a roller coaster under construction must look pretty interesting. Not that I have a chance of seeing a roller coaster that's not finished. I told myself, trying to persuade the idea that had sprouted not to fully enter my mind.

Then I noticed a crack below the wall. A tiny hole near the ground that someone made as a peephole. No one had noticed it yet. I felt a smile begin to form on my mouth. I needed a little fun, right?

See, the hole was just the right size for a rat. Who needs crappy diagrams when you can see the REAL work-in-progress? Besides, I needed to try out my morphs. Make sure the Ellimist had kept it's end of the deal and hadn't backed on me.

I calmly strolled over to the men's bathroom, stood on top of a toilet so no one would see me, and minutes later a wet rat (I had fallen in) came scurrying out. A couple of people screamed, but it didn't take long to find the hole. As much as I hated being back in the rat's body, I knew my way around with it.

As I slipped through, I found myself on the otherside, and able to see hardly a thing. I could just hear construction being done, and that didn't tell me anything. The rat easily found a bush to hide under. It didn't like being out in the open like that. A predator could come swooping down, it's talons secure around my head as it began to crush my scull...

No. Not my scull. The rat's.

Because you are human now David.

That thought brought me back. I began to concentrate on me. I had tried to do that time after time when I was stuck as a rat and of course nothing happened. But this time I began to change. It was frightening still. I hadn't morphed for so long but soon I was standing there, completely human (and with a morphing outfit, thank god. I guess I had also forgotten the minor fact of clothes. They were still in the bathroom.). Cautiously, I stepped out from my hiding place, shivering slightly.

The roller coaster wasn't even halfway done, yet it was still ...wow. Everyone was busy and no one noticed me. I wandered around for about ten minutes, watching them work, fascinated. It wasn't that great looking but it was going to be big. They were doing some more construction a little bit behind the roller coaster and I was just going to see what it was exactly, when

"Hey! Kid!"

I jumped. A construction worker was pointing at me. He threw down a tool.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" he shouted. Both of us stared blankly for a moment.

Uh oh.

"Gotta go." I said, and started running.

"HEY! Come back here!"

I ran faster, trying to avoid stepping on anything sharp with my bare feet.

"KID!"

I dared to look behind me for a second. A few construction workers were quickly catching up with my head start. The guy must have gathered up some of his friends.

I dived behind the bathroom, and the constuction workers ran right pass me. A classic move.

Unfortunately I didn't have much time to congratulate myself on the mistake. Before I could blink a construction worker had grabbed the collar of my morping suit.

"Yaaah!" I said, surprised. I pulled away and the guy was forced to let go. I started running away, zigzagging so they couldn't follow as easily. I couldn't keep this up. I had to lose them. I darted into a small building on the side of the wall and shut the door quickly. I found myself in a little hall, that lead to a room. After I caught my breath I peered through the small glass square in the door. I saw them running past, confused, wondering where I went. I started laughing, pleased at myself for escaping. That was too close! I was still chuckling when I heard something fall down in the room beyond the hallway. The door to the room was shut tight I walked up to the it. curious, and laid my ear to the door, only to hear another crashing sound. Slowly I opened the door a few inches.

I drew back, terrified by what I saw. Beasts, wild cats, gorillas, wolves, tearing up the office, people cowering in the corner, talking into phones, calling for help. Some people were lying unconscious. My first impulse was that they were wild animals that had escaped from the zoo section of the Gardens.

But when I saw the strange way the wild animals worked together the truth finally dawned on me. It wasn't hard to guess who they really were.

Of course seeing an Andalite prancing around and people fumbling with dracon beams may have been a clue.

"Well," I said to myself. "maybe I won't need a search party after all."

Chapter 9
Cassie

I had already flown out of the office, and was out back, demorphing. I could have been morphing wolf at the same time, I was going so fast.

Cassie, are you absolutely INSANE?! Marco. And he wasn't exaggerating either.

What are you doing?! Jake yelled angrily, a fly following me out. Where are you going? CASSIE! You're staying here.

No. I said simply. He wasn't sure what to say to that.

Demorph. Jake said, steadily after a few seconds. Demorph from whatever you've already morphed of the wolf.

It was an order, and I automatically followed. I demorphed, and a minute later Jake was standing there, human.

We both just kind of gawked at each other for a moment. That moment seemed to last forever and I was relieved when he broke it with a,

"Well."

"Well." I agreed.

"Cassie, what are you doing here?" he asked. He was still very hurt from what I had said about him earlier, but he was trying to keep this exchange unemotional.

"Jake..." I pawed at the ground with my foot a bit. "I'm sorry. For what I said."

He said nothing, but the awkward silence was over.

"I still think it's true." I continued. "But it wasn't supposed to come out like that... That's not what I really think."

He looked as if he wanted to know what I did really think but all he did was shrug. After a moment he looked up.

"We should go home." he said. "Take an out. Like Marco said. We all need it."

"No." I said, stubbornly. "I'm not giving up. Not leaving without a fight for my mother."

Jake sighed. Finally he looked up, defeated. "All right. If that's what you need to do we'll be behind you all the way."

All of us assembled in back of the lost and found office, between the wall and the office. Everyone morphed battle morphs.

"Let me get this straight." Rachel said as she began to morph bear. "We're going in to blindlerrrrr..." She switched over to thought speak. to blindly attack, try and distract the controllers for now and ruin or postpone their plans for tonight. Meaning basically, destroy the office and knock some guys unconscious?

That's the plan. I said, already finished with my wolf morph.

Cool! she said. I call Chapman! I've always wanted to knock him out during those long lectures in the principals office.

You know, I'm beginning to wonder about this mission. Jake said. It started out as a destroy-the-roller-coaster mission. The usual. However it has quickly gone to a save-a-mom mission, and now it's beginning to become a vengeance mission. We're trying to help Cassie's MOM, not get in all the paybacks for everything Chapman's done to us.

Com'on Jake. Marco said. There must have been a time when Chapman pissed you off.

Well... he began. There was this one time when I had supposedly disrespected a teacher. Yeah right! Just because he couldn't teach for shi...

Okay, that's enough. Marco stopped him. We all get your point.

I have nothing against the controller Chapman. Ax said. Except that he is a yeerk scum.

Yeah. Marco said dryly. Except for that.

All right. Jake said. Rachel? Can you please get the wall?

Sure. she replied. Tobias fluttered off from his perch on her shoulder, and the grizzly knocked down a piece of wall. BANG. It revealed a group of very shocked looking controllers. They all stood stock still.

I smiled inside. My wolf's eyes glared savagely at Chapman. I just stood their, staring at him for seconds, while the others tore down bits of walls and knocked controllers unconscious. They were trying to be silent as possible, so that the construction crew, who were many yards away on the other side of the wall didn't see anything strange. Silently ripping the inside of the office apart, knocking down weak humans.

But all I saw was Chapman's throat.

I leaped! Hung in midair for a second, came down on Chapman, came down...

And swerved to the right!

I had missed my chance at the throat. But it didn't matter. My weak wolf eyes saw a figure standing slightly cautious, in the doorway. Observing. I caught a whiff of the creature's scent. The confidant stance, the build, even the scent of the creature. It all seemed so familiar. Where had I seen it before?

My wolf eyes looked directly at it. And the creature saw this. Our eyes locked. And in that moment I knew.

Somehow I heard it speak, whisper really, two words meant just for me. Two words no one else could hear, because no one else knew to listen. But I heard the words.

"Hello Cassie."

David.


My happy after fic disclaimer: I have nothing big against Passions or Felicity ;) or Sami and Austin. Or pixy stix colored anything besides blue and orange. IT'S ALL THE SAME! ALL THE SAME I TELL YOU!


A special thanx to:Lesley, Gypsy, Rhi, Christy, Morphboy, Michela, Brooke, and anyone else I forgot and who will most likely kill me for forgetting them... Sorry! Thanks to all of you. :)

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Any comments/questions can go to mailto:Leigh2009@aol, or you can reach me in AIM my IMing SkySorceress or Leigh2009. OR YOU CAN JUST GIVE ME A REIVEW! Wow! Remember: Sanity is the playground of the boring...or somethin like that. ;) Critical reviews PLEEEEASE! ::likes making babbles longer than the fic::