I just needed this off my mind… I own nada.

I look down at the blood turning my once white sock a deep red. It's not the first time I've gone through this. It's not the first time I've bled at my own hands. Not the first scar that will be on my leg. Now that I think of it I have many scars. But it doesn't matter, now I am writing.

I don't know what to say other than sorry. If I hurt you I did not mean to do so.

I can't take this pain anymore, the secrets, stress. What pain? What secrets? And what stress? I know that what you are thinking. I would be thinking the same if I didn't know firsthand. Night after night of the same hell weather im awake or asleep the same hell awaits me. Some nights are worse than others. It depends on him. His mood.

I feel the blood starting to dry. I touch the drop wanting to spill over the cut, still wet. Not caring to clean my hand I pick up my pen and keep writing, soiling the pen.

Keeping this from my friends my family is so hard. To lie to them when they ask what is wrong, to plaster a smile on my face day after day. I can't sleep so I drink coffee, the coffee makes my hyper, hyper is happy. This is the mask I wear day after day I can't remember a time I slept the entire night. If I am to fall asleep when I go to bed I wake when I hear the door open. I don't move just wait, wait for him to be done.

I don't want to live this way anymore. So I am done.

Tears are streaming down my face as I pull each person's face I deeply care for from my memory. But It still doesn't stop me from taking my favorite knife in my hand holding on so tight my knuckles are white, bring it to my leg and pressing with all my might and sliding it across my skin as fast as I could. The blood flows faster than my tears and soon all is black.

Please review and let me know if I should continue… please no flames this story is very close to me.