Red Alert And His First Day In Training


Author's Foreword

It took me sometime but finally, I came to post this series!

You see, when it comes down Red Alert, just on his own he is a comedy gold mine and I am digging the ever-living scrap out of it!

A few things you should know about this series, it may not follow chronological order (if it doesn't, I will specifically say so) (I will do my best to keep them in chronological order) and it some of them may conflict with each other in terms of some things happening (I apologize in advance, I will do my best) but overall I think this is a very enjoyable little project! I already have a few written but I want to figure out some that should go before some of the ones I already wrote so ... this series may take a long while to be updated after next week ...

So I saw Rapunzel today! By Disney! It was actually a lot better than I expected. Well, it is still rather cliche in a number of parts but overall I do have to say that I enjoyed that movie! She was very cute! Shut up, a guy can dream, right?


The world was a scary place, the war was a scary thing and people were scary too. Everything was scary.

Red Alert walked into the barracks and saw the twenty something other mechs, like him, recruits.

"Um, ok, no need to panic," the dicolor closely inspected everything and everyone in the room as he walked in, "Yet."

A sudden silence befell the room, everybody looking at the car.

"No need to panic, no need to panic, they are just all staring at me, probably wanting to harvest my organs …" He raised his hand, "H-hi?"

No response followed. After gazing at him for another good few astroseconds, everybody turned back and continued their conversations.

"I am not dead! Yay!"

"ATTENTION!" A powerful voice roared through the whole facility, frightening all younglings.

"WHAA! IAMGONNADIEIAMGONNADIE!"

"WHAA! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!"

"Wha…" The recruit again became the center of attention as he slammed his head on the ceiling when he jumped in panic.

"OOOWWW!"

"Hey! What's with all the noise?" A grey mech came up to the dicolor, "You all right, kid?"

"I am sorry! I didn't mean to break your ceiling!"

"Eh, kid, what's yer name?"

"Oh, Cybertron, this is it! They will kill me and probably sell me for spare parts!"

"R-r-red Alert."

"My name is Kup. Come on," the oldbot helped the dicolor back up, "I will take you to Ratchet."

"Not so fast, Kup," a red, tough-looking mech slowly walked up to them, "He ain't goin' nowhere."

"Iron Hide, Red Alert just made a hole in the ceiling, he could have a concussion …"

"I don' give no damn if he had his head chopped off 'n' served Megatron with Jazz's speshl energon with a petro-rabbit side dish …"

"I am dead …"

"Need I remind you that a soldier with a potential wound …"

"Need I remin' you that he ain't no fraggin' soldier 'till I say so?"

"I am so dead …"

"He may have a concussion!

"He'll be havin' more than jus' them jibber-jabber concussions," the red mech slammed his hands together so loud that it scared everyone. Then, he squinted at Red Alert "'Specially afteh I'm through with 'im."

"Meep …"


"Oh, Cybertron!" He was never so tired in his life. All his muscles were screaming from strain, his systems on the verge of a critical meltdown, "We will have to do this again tomorrow?"

"Ey!" A red minibot pushed Red Alert, almost throwing him off the chair and grabbing yet another drink of high-grade as he wobbled from one side to another, "What the frag is yer problem? Can't handle a lil' trainin'?"

"A little?"

"Yer an Autobot! At least you seem to wear the logo but are ya really one of us?"

"E-excuse me?"

"How do I know yer not a traitor?"

"I am not a traitor!"

"That's what they all say!"

"… b-b-b-but …"

"How do I know you ain't gonna come back to Megatron and whine how hard it is to become an Autobot?"

"I am not a Decepticon!"

"So you say but who the frag knows you?"

"I am scared of them!"

"Then why 're ya here? Spyin' for Megatron I bet."

"I am not a spy!"

"Ya think that with all the high-profilin' you did there nobody would notice or think about you bein' a spy but I got you in my optics!"

"What high-profiling?"

"With all the jumpin' and ceilin' breakin', showing off …"

"I threw up four times in the middle of this torture!"

"So ya do agree that we were interrogatin' ya?"

"What? No!"

"Well there's bound to be at least one spy among those slagging recruits."

"S-say what?"

"Traitors, all o' them! With their collapsin' 'n' breaks 'n' emotional breakdowns 'n' other slag to make us think they are just recruits."

"All of them?'

"All o' them! Traitors! Decepticons! Spies!"

"Holy Cybertron!"

"Ya bet yer spyin', lyin', throwin' up aft!"

"I know that I am not a traitor!"

"Do ya know that yar not or do ya think yar not?"

"What?"

"Ya could be thinkin' that yar not of them traitors but you could be programmed to think that!"

"Oh, frag!"

"'N' all yer actions could be driven by some sort of a nefarious traitor, Decepticon programming out there to betray us and spy on us!"

"Holy Cybertron! What if I really am a spy!"

"I don' know 'bout spy but yer definitely a traitor."

"I am not a traitor!"

"Ya barely made it 'live through the first day."

"How does that indicate that I am a traitor?"

"Real Autobots wouldn't faint three times after bench pressin' a couple of tons for a few cycles!"

"I can't lift my own weight!"

"Then yar a traitor, traitor!"

"You couldn't lift up even half of a ton!"

"I can fraggin' figure out yar a traitor! That's good 'nough!"

"Eep!"

"If yar so scared of everthin' then why 're ya here? Some sort of punishment from Megatron?"

"I just want to protect Cybertron!"

"From yarself?"

"I am not a traitor!"

"Ya keep sayin' that but so far ya ain't givin' me no proof."

"I am too tired to do anything!"

"An Autobot wouldn' be tired."

"We are all tired!"

"And all of ya traitors! Those lambotwins, Bluestreak, Grapple, Powerglide, Warpath, Iron Hide, Kup …"

"Kup is one of the oldest Autobots!"

"'N' who's ta say he ain't old to make us trust him?"

"Holy Cybertron? Really?"

"Ya!"

"What about Iron Hide is the recruit trainer!"

"Trainin' all of ya to become traitors!"

"Say what?"

"Traitors 'n' spies 'n' Decepticons!"

"B-b-but Grapple is an architect!"

"Buildin' all these things to harbor traitor armies!"

"By The Matrix!"

"See what I mean?"

"What about Warpath? Warpath is a veteran!"

"A spy!"

"Is there anybody I can trust?"

"If ai w're you," a mech with a gun for a hand butted into the conversation, "Ai wouldn' list'n tah eh single word he be seyhing."

"Traitor!," the minibot spouted , wobbling for one last time on his seat and falling on the floor. He then mumbled before shutting off his optics and going into recharge, "Traitors all of ya …"

"He could be right!"

"Ya gonna list'n tah Cliffjumpah? The mech's eh nutcase!"

"… b-b-but …"

"He ain't right 'bout anyone, trust me, ai know 'im fer a lon' time 'n' nevah has he been righ' 'bout anyone bein' eh spy."

"Or a traitor?"

"Or eh traitah."

"What if you are just covering for him?"

"Yah see me draggin' the guy back tah his quartahs?"

"No."

"The'es yer answeh."

"Oh."

"By the way, name's Inferno."

"Red Alert."


Author's Notes:

Hope you enjoyed it! More is to come! Remember, I am not dead ... just painfully slow ...

Forgot to add one thing! You won't really have to remember anything that happened in the past chapters, most of the general (big) events I will be loosely taking from cannon and the pairings are, well, pretty obvious ... aren't they ... so basically I will just be filling in some of the gaps here and there in Red Alert's life in this series ... woohoo ... ! ...

So, please don't forget to leave a review!

Thanks to Crescent-Moon-Demon for editing and reviewing!