FIRST THERE WAS NOTHING – THEN THERE WAS PINKIE
By Ponydora Prancypants
My sisters and I were raised on a rock farm outside of ponyville
Life, of sorts, existed even in the endless void before time and space. Bits of matter, antimatter, and particles still nameless in the many continuums drifted, purposeless, through dimensions that intersected unbound by physical laws. From this primordial unreality coalesced beings made real only through force of will. I was one of those beings born from chaos. There we traveled, among the flotsam and jetsam before creation.
We spent our days working the fields
Some of us decided to exert our will to shape order from the madness. We played with planes of existence, dimension, and gateways into realms real and imaginary, possible and impossible, but we could not find purpose in this eternal entropy.
There was no talking
Aeons passed without a comment or observation
There was no smiling
As we lacked physical bodies, flesh, bone, blood, synapse, receptors, glands – we knew not the chemical reactions that move creatures such as yourself – we were creatures only of true will, not of biology and chemistry. We simply were.
There were only rocks
And so we passed among the non-creation, manipulating matter and energy yet without purpose or motivation, for there was nothing to interest us, no goal that we could reach, no beginning or end, for time did not exist. There was only the cosmological dust, formless, phaseless, indistinct.
We were in the south field, preparing to rotate the rocks to the east field when all of a sudden
As we did on countless occasions, some before, some after the others, we prepared to shift the multiverse once again, rebooting this ruleless, quasi-existence in yet another vain hope that the next one would be worth keeping.
[BANG!]
Suddenly, as my companions blinked out of this particular multiverse, I heard a noise echo magically through the vacuum of space and saw a glimmer of a spark twinkling in the darkness. It was like nothing I'd ever encountered before. Down, down I went through the layers of the cosmos, until, quite near the most basic layer of physical reality, in a place where magic coexisted with more base laws of nature, but still bound in a functional physical existence, I saw life! It was so amazing that, despite lacking any corporeal form, I smiled.
I never felt joy like that before. It felt so good I just wanted to keep smiling forever
I locked myself into a temporal existence so I could better observe this phenomenon. Billions of years flew by as I watched the life grow and blossom in this place.
And I wanted everyone I knew to smile too. I wondered, how else could I create some smiles?
I called my kind out of the interstices in the fabric of the void to see this beautiful place, where creatures much like yourself now romped across the fields and forests. It was beautiful.
You like it? It's called … a party! You like it! I'm so happy!
One of my kind I was closest to – I called her my sister. We shared many of the same fascinations with how life could come to exist in a multiverse essentially and interminably destined for entropy. We elected to remain in this place, taking on bodies that you would recognize as we wrapped your world tightly in a blanket of sun, moon, and stars, keeping you safe and special. Though we know you will be gone in what to us seems but an eyeblink, we shall treasure our time with you.
And that's how Equestria was made.
Maybe on the way home I can tell you the story of how I got my cutie mark. It's a gem!
Pinkie Pie chuckled to herself as she left the gathering at Sugarcube Corner and bounded up the stairs to her room. She drew the shades to her windows, and closed her eyes. Anypony observing would have been shocked at what happened next. Her form seemed to collapse inward on itself, as if being pulled into a singularity. Then, just as it collapsed into nothingness, Pinkie Pie's body was replaced by that of a majestic winged unicorn with a coat as white as snow and mane that shone with a prismatic array of rainbow pastels. Celestia's sister, Luna, then winked into existence beside her.
"Tia!" Luna tsked. "Very funny!" she said sarcastically. "You keep that up and somepony will surely figure out that their friend 'Pinkie Pie' is merely an avatar of yours."
"Oh come now, Luna. Have some fun!" Celestia replied. "I've always wanted to tell that story, and you must admit I did I good job disguising the true subject of the tale."
"Maybe … When you think about it, it's shocking they haven't figured you out yet," Luna said. "Don't they ever wonder how an earth pony like Pinkie Pie can outrun a Pegasus like Rainbow Dash? How she can swallow pure rainbow and survive? How she can eat unlimited amounts of food without gaining an ounce? How she can defeat enchanted trees with laughter? PINKIE SENSE? I mean, really, Tia, it's like you're trying to be found out! And then you go tell the story of how Equestria was made to those little fillies!"
"Well, I thought it was pretty clever," Celestia replied. "Plus it's not like they've never seen us at the same place at the same time." Celestia stomped a hoof lightly and a half dozen Pinkie Pies popped into existence around her. They vanished with a second stomp.
"Just you wait, Tia. They're cleverer than you think …" Luna warned.
Across town.
"Wait just one dern minute!" Apple Bloom exclaimed with a look of consternation. "What kind of pony farms rocks, anyway?"
"Oh, she's just being Pinkie Pie," Scootaloo replied.
