A/N: I recently joined Tinder. It's a seriously weird app. Don't join it, kids.

Also, in Tinder lingo, "Swiping Left" means you don't like the person, and "Swiping Right" means that you do.


All Lovino was sure of was that it was all Feli's fault. Things that went wrong in his life usually were. His brother was a dunce.

So it started when they were waiting for an Uber to take them home from their restaurant. Lovino and Feli both worked as chefs: Feli made the pastas and Lovino made the pizzas. They shared an apartment to save on money and split the rent evenly at the end of each month. Feli was on the phone with his loser of a boyfriend Ludwig, who was a mechanical engineer of some sort and good with cars. (Ludwig was the diner and Feli was the chef who served him a hella great pasta – a match made in heaven, or whatever.)

"You're so cute, Lud," Feli cooed into his phone, giggling and blushing. Lovino rolled his eyes, checking his phone for the cab. The driver's name was Antonio Fernandez something, and the car number was 8761. It was a blue Prius, and –

"Oh, we should do that tomorrow night." Feli snickered wickledly.

Expected time of arrival: 3 minutes. Come on, blue Prius 8761, hurry up…

"Could you wear your sailor suit? Pleeeaaasee? You know I just love you in it."

Oh god, when was this Uber going to come?

ETA: 2 minutes.

"That would be hot."

ETA: 1 minute.

"…Oh, are you going to capture me, Captain Beilsch—"

"Fucking finally!" Lovino virtually shouted as the car arrived, stepping onto the road with his hands waving wildly. "Feli, get off the phone – no, don't get off of the phone – Jesus!" Throwing open the car door, Lovino jumped in the back seat, scowling at the rear view mirror. "What the hell took you so long?"

The driver glanced at the mirror, his green eyes landing on Lovino with a long, curious stare. "I only took five minutes, sir. I'm sorry if I delayed you."

That was when Feli slid in, still chatting animatedly on the phone. Still giggling. Still blushing. Lovino rolled his eyes, barked out their home address and curled into the corner of the car, pretending to sleep. Easier said than done. Feli blabbered on, a cross between slutty and flirty, ignoring the fact that the Uber driver could hear everything – didn't Feli have any sense of propriety? Lovino was the older brother, he should be instilling some morals or something.

So he snatched the phone from his brother's hand, put it to his ear and said, "yeah this is Lovino, he'll call you when he's in his room and wants to play with himself, we're in a cab right now, so bye." And cut the call.

Feliciano glared at his brother. And then started to laugh. "Your face is all red, Lovi."

"What the fuck do you think?"

"I'm sorry I was being inconsiderate. I know it bothers you." Feliciano suddenly took on a very concerned tone, tilting his head to the side and looking at his brother like he was on his deathbed. "Are you doing okay?"

What the hell did Feli mean by that? Sure, Lovino was a bit mortified, but come on. He wasn't like…upset or anything. He didn't personally like Ludwig, but Feli was happy with him. That was what mattered, really. "Uh," Lovino spluttered out, "yeah?"

Feli put a hand on his arm. "I know you don't like being alone and you've never been in love and that must suck."

Instantly, Lovino glanced at the driver – he had an awful feeling that guy was eavesdropping on everything. How could he not? They were being so loud and it was an enclosed, air-conditioned car. The driver had his eyes on the road, yes, but oh, Lovino knew…

"Can we not?" he told his brother. "I know you like to have these long, emotional conversations but I'm really not in the mood." He opened the Game Center on his phone and pretended to be engrossed in Candy Crush. It worked for about five minutes.

"I should ask around if any of my friends are single. I know Kiku just broke up with Alfred but maybe he'd agree to a date or two."

"Feliciano, shut up. I'm not going out with your friends. Especially not Kiku."

"What's wrong with Kiku?"

"He's into some weird porn."

Feli giggled. "Oh, that's right." But his cheer died down and once again, Sweet Caring Feli Angel reared his pasta-filled head. "But I worry about you! I know you get really lonely and you're so shy so you never talk to anyone. Remember when that cute customer complimented your pizza? You just said thanks and went about your business! You could have at least flirted a bit!"

"Hey," Lovino snapped, because they were doing this conversation now, it seemed, "for your information, I get a lot of dates."

Feli raised his eyebrows as if to silently say, oh, really? "We live in the same flat, Lovi. I'd know if you got a lot of dates."

"You don't notice anything these days with that stupid potato man of yours."

His brother snorted so hard it must have actually hurt. Doubling over to laugh, Feli managed a raspy, "Potato man! That's hilarious!"

"Whatever." Lovino crossed his arms over his chest and gazed out of the window. He definitely felt like sulking now. It shouldn't have been such a big deal, but yeah, okay, he did get kind of annoyed that Feli would cancel plans because he was hanging out with his boyfriend. Lovino couldn't blame him, he had his own life. It just made things worse that Lovino didn't, not really. Sometimes he'd hang out with Sadiq, but other than that he really didn't have too many friends. Just people he talked to because they were around.

"Is this it?" the Uber driver suddenly asked.

I hope not, Lovino thought, in a thorough gloom. His brother, however, said, "yes, here is good. You can stop the journey."

Lovino made a cashless payment through his phone and stepped out first. The blast of warm, summer-evening air didn't quite cheer him up, but it felt better than sitting in that stuffy car, listening to Feli talk about how much his brother's love life sucked.

"You should download Tinder," Feli declared as they entered their apartment.

"We're still talking about this?"

"Yes! Download Tinder."

"Feli, Tinder is for hook-ups."

"Nuh-uh! Kiku met Alfred through Tinder and they dated for like a year. Besides, so what if it's for hook-ups? You can get some." Feli nudged his brother with a suggestive wink that made Lovino want to take a bath and cleanse the sin off him.

Here was where Lovino made the critical error. He rolled his eyes, placed his phone on the dining table and went to make some coffee, saying, "Yeah, right, Feli. There's nothing you can do that would make me join Tinder, or any one of those bullshit apps. They're for sad, pathetic losers who just want to get laid."

"Sad, pathetic losers like you?" Feli called after him.

"Asshole," Lovino yelled back.

But the damage was already done. He'd left his phone undefended and Feliciano took the opportunity given to him, broke into his password-protected mobile (Feli had always known Lovino's passwords), and downloaded Tinder. He went ahead and created an account, syncing his brother's Facebook and Instagram with the dating app, and writing an awesome profile.

And Lovino was none the wiser.


You have been Super Liked! Swipe Right To Find Out by Whom.

Half-asleep, Lovino stared at the bizarre message. It was about 5.00 AM. Lovino always set an early alarm. It was more like an aspirational thing. He'd usually get up, check his phone, turn off the alarm and go back to sleep for at least four more hours. This morning he had a text from Sadiq, a couple of promotional e-mails and this.

What was this, actually?

Lovino couldn't go back to sleep until he found out. He never could. He had this obsessive need to check all his notifications, every single one. He didn't even have a single unread e-mail in his inbox, he'd check all of them, even the stupid ones. Unread messages bothered him on a spiritual level: it felt like there was a disturbance in the universe and he had to set it right.

So then, what was a Super Like?

Sitting up in bed, Lovino rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and dutifully swiped right. Nothing happened, though, that just made the notification disappear. He still had to know where it came from. He'd checked his e-mail and texts. It wasn't a software update or an app-store advertisement. Scroll, scroll, what was that little icon with the fire symbol? There was an unchecked notification there.

Lovino opened it and nearly died of a heart attack.


"YOU PUT ME ON TINDER?"

Feliciano woke up to someone ripping the blankets off him, turning on all the lights and stomping about the room.

"FELICIANO, WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT TINDER?"

"Lovi, go to sleep, it's too early…" Feli tried to bury his head under the pillow, but his brother ripped that off the bed too, throwing it on the floor.

"And look at this profile you've written!" Lovino waved the phone in his face.

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard – because I'm a bomb-ass chef.

"It's hilarious!" Feli protested, finally sitting up and taking the phone from him. "And look, I put such a nice series of profile pictures."

Well, at least that was true. The first picture was taken secretly by someone at a party, with Lovino holding a wine glass and laughing. He looked good. His shirt was slightly unbuttoned and his hair caught the light beautifully. The second picture was him scrunching his nose at the camera – a funny selfie he'd sent to Feli on Snapchat, before saving because it was pretty cute. The third one was of him at work, taken by one of the waitresses, Emma. It was a side profile where he was frowning in concentration was he put a pizza into the oven, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

"I told you I wasn't interested," Lovino snapped.

Feli sighed, rubbing his eyes again. "Okay, yes, I'm sorry I went behind your back. But really, Lovi! You're twenty-two and you've never dated anyone, ever. And I know you want to, okay. I know you get pretty lonely and you're shy and it must be hard. And I just want to help! If you don't like Tinder, delete it. But promise me you'll at least give it a chance? Please?"

How could Lovino ever resist that pathetic, puppy-eyed look? He'd always been soft with Feli when his brother looked at him like that. Besides, Lovino wasn't going to deny it – being 'Super Liked', whatever that meant – was quite flattering.

"Fine. Now how do I check who Super Liked me?"


Lovino spent the entire morning morbidly fascinated with Tinder. He always swiped left – who knew who these strange men actually were. Maybe they were rapists or murderers. But some of them were actually pretty cute. He even found one who was a chef (so there was a common interest there). Some creepy-looking guy with a serial-killer gaze had 'Super Liked!' him, and Lovino immediately swiped left.

Feli found him in his room, shirtless with only his pants on as he sat on his bed swiping left. "Aren't you getting ready for work?"

"In a minute."

Feli came and peered over his shoulder. Swipe Left, Swipe Left.

"You're not even looking at them! You're just swiping left! Look, that guy is cute – wait, at least read his profi—Lovi!" Feli glared at him. "You're not doing this properly." He stopped Lovino's hand at the next picture. "That guy is cute."

Actually pausing to see, Lovino had to agree. He was twenty-three, green-eyed, tan-skinned, and smiley. His profile picture was him grinning into the camera. The second picture showed him feeding a turtle in a tank. The third one was of him playing football, shirtless. Holy shit.

His profile read: Hola :D I am interested in many things: painting, football, cute animals and fun people. (That cute turtle in the second picture is called Tomate and he is the best wingman B) okay not really, but still he's cute.) I'm looking to meet awesome people. Thank you for reading my profile :3

"He's a loser."

"He's adorable!" Feli squealed. "Look at his turtle!"

"Who names a turtle 'Tomate'?"

"He thanked us for reading his profile, that's so polite!"

Lovino had an awful feeling he'd seen this guy somewhere. His name was Latin-sounding an oddly familiar. He couldn't place it. Antonio…Fernandez…C-Carr…wait a second –

"No! Don't!" Lovino yelled as Feli snatched his phone and swiped right to 'like' the man's profile.

"It's done! You'll get a notification if it's a match!"

"You idiot!" Lovino grabbed the phone back. "That was our Uber driver! From yesterday!"

Feli's expression became impassive. "What?"

Furiously, Lovino went into settings, his heart racing. "How can I unlike someone? Why did you swipe right?!"

"Because I knew you liked him!"

"You pretend you know these things but you don't!" Lovino yelled back, his voice getting higher and higher. "He was our fucking Uber driver from yesterday, Feli! I recognized the name!"

"Then why didn't you tell me sooner!" Feli shouted back, his voice just as high, perhaps in reaction to Lovino's own agitation.

"I didn't know sooner!"

It would have been funny for an onlooker. The two of them were just staring at each other and screaming, and one of them was half-naked.

"Oh, what's the big deal?" Feli rolled his eyes. "So he's the Uber driver. That's okay."

"It's weird."

"You're just a classist." Feli walked out of the room, actually flipping him off. Wow. "Wear a shirt," he added as he slammed the door shut behind him.


A/N: I shall update soon. Haha, I'm adding all my new apps here, I swear. I recently downloaded Uber and Snapchat as well and I've mentioned them here xD

Thanks for reading. Please review :D