I don't own anything!
I suppose you could say this is a crack fiction, it was just an idea that has been bouncing around. Hope you enjoy!
"Is it true you wanted to be a pirate when you were a kid?"
Sherlock looked at John shocked. He just smiled, glad he had stopped Sherlock's constant whining about being bored, which had been steadily going on for the past hour. Making it rather hard for the army doctor to think as he typed up their latest case.
"Mycroft," Sherlock commented after a moment, his eyes narrowing. "I don't see how it matters, but yes I did want to be a pirate." He added with a sigh supposing a conversation with John would be more interesting then wondering what he was going to post on that stupid blog of his.
"Really?" John asked. "It is a bit normal," He added thoughtfully.
"What do you mean, 'a bit normal'?" Sherlock asked sharply.
"Nothing," John replied. "It's just that it's a fairly common childhood dream, I figured yours would have been a little more unusual." He added with a shrug. "Tea?" He offered standing.
"What do you mean by unusual?" Sherlock asked his boredom blossoming in to wondering why John thought being a pirate was 'normal' behavior.
"Nothing," John replied with a small laugh.
"It obviously isn't nothing if you brought it up," Sherlock stated fixing John with his best stare.
"It's nothing, really," John laughed. "It's just I pictured you as the stubborn kid that knew exactly what he was going to do and made sure they end up doing it." He added with a sigh giving into the stare.
"Real pirates don't actually exist anymore," Sherlock replied with a pout. He hardly wanted to discuss the real reason.
"Consulting Detectives didn't exist," John replied handing Sherlock a cup of tea. Sherlock swore, out of all the times John used his brain it had to be on this.
"There were other factors in play," Sherlock replied broodingly as he looked at John over his cup of tea.
"Really?" John laughed. "Like what?" He added with a grin. Sherlock pouted and took a sip of his tea. "You obviously would have had enough money; if not you could just steal it." John started thinking. "Crew would be easy seeing how every kid in the world at one point wants to be a pirate. Your ship could also have been stolen." He continued watching Sherlock. He paused for moment thinking. A young Sherlock would have figured this out easily. So it would have to be something he couldn't control.
"Do you get sea sick?"
The consulting detective glared at the army doctor.
"Sherlock Holmes gets sea sick," John laughed. "Who would have guessed," He added taking a sip of his own tea. Sherlock glared at the doctor.
"What about you? I doubt being a retired army doctor who runs around London solving crime was your child hood dream." Sherlock replied. John knew his childhood dream, it was only fair he knew his.
"No, you'll just laugh," John replied his face turning serious. A smile spread across Sherlock's face, something interesting at last.
"Really? I'll just have to deduce it then," Sherlock commented placing his tea down. He leaned forward placing his fingertips together as he started to study the army doctor. "So you didn't want to be a doctor or a soldier as a child," He started.
"How did you?" John asked shocked.
"Just confirming a suspicion," Sherlock smiled. He saw John sigh. "I doubt you wanted to be a pirate. Taking your comment on a pirate being a 'normal' childhood dream, then it's something off the beaten track. Nothing like a knight, astronaut, princess, or a cowboy," He listed for good measure watching John's reaction to each one.
"Sherlock, I'm afraid you aren't going to guess this one," John smiled. "I doubt even you could pull it out of thin air." He added. Sherlock's eyes narrowed, a challenge.
"Penguin farmer?" Sherlock asked trying to pull something out of thin air. John only laughed.
Sherlock's deducing (read: guessing) only became more and more strange, and the detective was starting to become quite invested in figuring it out. He found it rare to find something he couldn't deduce, so if he couldn't deduce it, maybe he could force John to tell him.
So he started listing every idea that came to mind, each one in a loud or annoying voice. After half an hour he noticed John was starting to get annoyed.
"Will you please stop?" John groaned after another 15 minutes of guessing.
"Only if you tell me," Sherlock grinned triumphantly.
"Alright I wanted to be a," John mumbled.
"I didn't catch that," Sherlock replied with a smile. John mumbled it a bit louder. "A what?" he added. It continued until John snapped.
"I wanted to be a damn hobbit alright?" He yelled. Sherlock sat back for a moment.
Hobbit? He thought to himself. His mind raced to figure out what it was; he searched room after room in his mind palace. Then it connected, The Hobbit by J.J.R Tolkien and a series, Lord of the Rings, he had seen it on the book shelf in John's room. He had read them as a child, though it was interesting, the plot was like all others, predictable. So he had deleted it, but somehow when he saw the books on John's shelf a ghost of the story had reappeared in his mind.
"As in Tolkien?" He verified just in case he was making the wrong connection. John looked at him shocked.
"You don't know that the earth revolves around the sun but you know Tolkien?" John asked shocked. "How does that even make sense?"
"With a mind palace you can't forget anything," Sherlock replied exasperated. "Things that I have deleted take a while to find, I must have found something about Tolkien important enough or something important connected to it." He explained. "You wanted to be a hobbit," He added again rather astounded.
"Yes, I did," John replied stiffly.
"May I enquire why?" Sherlock asked curiously. It wasn't every day he learned someone he knew wanted to be a hobbit. He also found it hard to get John to talk about himself, and due to his annoyed and tired state, it was the best time to get information.
"I rather not," John replied trying to return to writing his blog, only that he had been writing down what Sherlock had been guessing. He sighed as he started deleting the list.
"Fine, I'll just work on my new experiment," Sherlock shrugged. "The one experimenting using the smell of a body to identify the state of decomposition," He added. "I'll have to get other smells to compare it to as well. I also might have to use up all your jam."
"Fine," John snapped. He wanted to be able to eat in the next week, preferably something with jam on it. "I was a small kid, so I got picked on. Hobbits were these small unremarkable creatures, but they got to go on adventures and be the hero." He explained. "For me it meant that I could do anything, it didn't matter how small or unremarkable I was."
"You're wrong," Sherlock commented.
"Excuse me?" John asked. Typical Sherlock, he went and told him something personal and he had to find something wrong or dull about it. "I think I know how a younger version of me thought." He added about ready to go into a rant.
"John Waston," Sherlock interrupted. "You are by far the most remarkable living person I have ever met. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise," He added standing up.
He moved up the stairs and into John's bedroom. He pulled out the four books before returning to the sofa. He proceeded to start reading. He stayed there until he was done. After he had he closed the last book looking up to see John still sitting in his chair.
He smiled slightly noticing that the man was asleep. Then he snuck over reaching down to pull off one of John's socks.
No hair. Good, he didn't want his doctor running off on an adventure without him.
Done! This idea came to me after I saw the Hobbit with my mom. She stated that she was going to have a hard time watching Sherlock and not seeing John as Bilbo.
I hope you enjoyed! If you follow my other story a chapter should be up soon…..if I don't procrastinate and write more one-shots.
Reviews are welcomed!
