Disclaimer- No, I do not own any of these characters. Excuse me while I go cry a little.

-Too Much-

It was too much for you to handle. Why didn't you let me in? I could have helped you. You could have leaned on my shoulder instead of the barrel of your gun. Those words that you said still burn into me like the hot sun on a summer's day, "I'm your partner Liv, for better or worse." Then why didn't you talk to me? Damnit it hurts so much to think about how you would still be alive today if you would have just talked to me, Elliot.

You're everywhere I go, your spirit haunts me and I just want it gone. I wish that this guilt that I have would just disappear. I wish that I could be with you again, feel your loving arms around me, breathe in your scent. You were my other half. Now I sit in the dark at night, drinking myself to oblivion, then crying myself to sleep wishing you were next to me. I'm dead inside. Nothing phases me like it used to. I go to work, look at dead bodies without a flinch, and when another creep is put in jail, half of me wishes I was the victim.

Each memory of you cuts deep into me like a knife through butter. I memorized every feature of your face and every "part" of your body. I remember the heat that would come off of your body and warm me on the coldest nights of winter. This pain that I'm experiencing just won't seem to go away. It seems the harder I try to forget you the more I remember.

The news seemed unreal when Cragen came to my apartment and told me you had been shot. The two things going through my mind were who, and when you would recover and get back to my side. It never crossed my mind that you might have committed suicide. I guess I didn't know you as well as I thought. He told me that you hadn't made it, and I felt my stomache rise into my throat unexpectedly causing me to lose what little I had eaten.

The scene was something I had only had nightmares about. Cragen was nice enough to leave me alone with your body for me to say goodbye. It felt like someone had ripped out my heart and stomped on it as tears flew down my face. I fought so hard to wake you up as if you were having a bad dream that I made myself exhausted. Staring at your cold blue eyes that were once filled with desire and compassion, I slowly pressed my lips to yours, no longer feeling warmth, but emptiness. Pulling away I tasted your own blood on my lips, and I curled up and lay down next to you for what seemed like hours. My whole world left with you on that terrible day.

So now, as I stand here at your grave holding onto your gun and badge, I want nothing more then to be with you. Grasping the gun, I lie down and take a picture of me and you out of my wallet. Placing it on my heart and aiming the gun at my temple, I smile and close my eyes. This was all too much for me to handle.

Ready, aim, fire.

The End