Memories and Deceptions
Summary: Post Shalom, Gibbs goes back to Mexico where someone confronts him about things he might be able to face just yet.
Rating: T, for implied sexual encounters between two consenting adults.
Pairing: Implied Gibbs/DiNozzo
Disclaimer: As exciting as it would be to own the show, it would also probably be a lot of work, and I think I'm just too damn lazy for that.
Warning: This story is the sequel to Delusions and Fantasies, which means it is SLASH! Which means it includes implied sexual encounters between two consenting adults of the male gender. If that bothers you, turn around now. There's nothing graphic, and I pulled back the language a bit.
Author's Note: Well, after I checked my email the day after Delusions and Fantasies was posted, I realized I had about TWELVE reviews. At this point, I have almost 30, which is more than any other one shot I've ever written, so, I decided to please everyone who asked and go ahead and write my sequel. I hope you enjoy it!
The sun beat down on the back of his neck as Gibbs made his way back to Mike's little cottage. As usual, Mike was lounging around out front. He was reading what looked like a dirty magazine, but Gibbs couldn't be sure from the distance. Camila was nowhere to be seen, but she was no doubt around. Mike liked to have her near him. Mainly so he could flirt with her.
The trip back to D.C. was more awkward than he would have preferred. DiNozzo didn't actually say anything about their previous conversation, but it still hung in the air between them.
"Hey, Probie, how was the old team?" Before he had the chance to respond, Camila came running out of the house. She smiled brightly at him.
"Senor Gibbs! You're back." She walked up and wrapped her arms around him tightly.
"Good to be back, Camila." She finally released him, but she didn't move away. Instead, she gave him that look she saved for him. In the background, Mike grunted. "How've you been?"
Camila shrugged. "Not bad. But much better now that you're back." She gave him a wink before she walked back in the house. Gibbs followed her movements with his eyes.
Mike grunted again. Gibbs turned to him, his smile gone. "What?"
Mike shrugged. "I spend all my time trying to get her to look at me that way, and instead she wants the one who doesn't want her." He chuckled. Gibbs sat down across from the other man. He was confused.
"What are you talking about?" He thought he liked Camila.
"I worked with you long enough to know you, Probie. You ain't… interested." The way he said that didn't sit well with Gibbs. It sort of brought up memories of his conversation with DiNozzo.
"Tell me, Mike. Why would you think I'm not interested?" There was a challenge in his voice. Even though Mike was his role model, he was pretty sure that he could take him in a fist fight.
But the older man didn't rise to the bait. Instead he laughed again. "You don't remember, do you?" It was really starting to grate on him that people insisted on bringing up his amnesia all the damn time. "Let's just say, Probie, You don't ask, and I won't tell."
That was met with silence.
Gibbs tried to wrap his head around what Mike just told him. And he didn't like it. "Are you saying you think I'm gay?"
"I don't think, I know."
Gibbs groaned. "What, are you gonna tell me that we had a relationship too?" As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he regretted them. He never told anyone about that. Least of all Mike.
"Too?"
Gibbs ran a hand down his face. "Yeah, one of my former agents, he told me," he stopped. He couldn't even bring himself to say it.
That made Mike burst out laughing. "Seriously? Which one? Tell me it wasn't that goofy looking kid." Gibbs tried to look back to think when Mike had met his team. He couldn't think of the time.
Still, he shook his head. "No, it wasn't McGee." At Mike's confused look, he reiterated. "The goofy looking kid."
"Oh."
"No, it was," he chuckled. "It was DiNozzo." Recently, every time he thought about that conversation he had with Tony back at his house, he couldn't help but chuckle. Tony DiNozzo, ladies' man extraordinaire, obsessed with him.
"Which one was that?"
Gibbs was pulled out of his thought at the question. He almost didn't hear it. "Oh, the, uh, the tall one, with the eyes, and the smile. Wears a lot of designer clothes."
Mike was quiet for a second. "The eyes and the smile?" He chuckled again. "So, let me guess, you don't believe him." It wasn't a question. So Gibbs didn't treat it like one.
"Would you?"
"If it was about me, personally, I'd smack the kid around a couple times. But about you, yeah, I can actually believe it." Gibbs shook his head.
"I think I'd remember if I was gay, Mike."
"Not with the serious denial you were in." Mike stood up to get himself another beer. Gibbs' eyes followed. "You weren't exactly out of the closet when I met ya, Probie. And with the whole, "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," I can't really say I blame you." Gibbs turned away.
"So, how did you figure it out then?" It wasn't a serious question, more sarcastic—or challenging—than anything else.
Mike shrugged. "There were a couple a' guys. Caught you leering at one of 'em once. Course, you denied it though."
"Maybe, 'cause I wasn't leering." This was ridiculous. How many times was he going to have to defend his sexuality. "I'm not gay. I've been married four times!"
"Yeah, and how well did those work out for you?" Gibbs was silent. Mike moved to sit back down in his lounge chair. "My guess, Probie, you married those last three wives, to replace Shannon." Her name still hurt. "All of 'em were redheads, all feisty."
"They were a little more than feisty."
"Points still valid Jethro. You weren't lookin' for a soulmate. You were lookin' for a permanent bed buddy." Gibbs stood up.
"Still doesn't prove anything, Mike." He looked off into the distance. His eyes caught sight of his unfinished boat.
His hands were most likely going to have blisters in the morning, but he just couldn't find it in him to care. Tony wrapped his arms around his chest to hold him still as he panted against his neck.
Gibbs turned back to Mike. The older man eyed him curiously. "Alright then, tell me. What do you think of Camila?"
"I like her." Silence.
"That's it?" Mike arched his eyebrow as he stared at him incredulously.
Gibbs smiled. "What else is there?"
"How about, she's a beautiful woman, she obviously has a thing for you, if you wanted her, you could have her in a heartbeat." He stood up and invaded Gibbs' personal space. "The question is, do you want her?"
Gibbs glared back with equal intensity. He knew Mike's tricks. Hell, he'd used most of them himself over the years. He knew that Mike was trying to get him to crack, but he wasn't going to. No, he made other people crack, not the other way around. "She's a little young for me."
He turned around and went back into the house. He immediately found the kitchen. He desperately needed a beer. It had taken him almost four months to come close to reversing the mind fuck Tony put on him. And Mike was just redoing the whole thing!
Gibbs and Tony lay in the hallway, naked and panting. Gibbs had his head resting on his chest. He was mentally scolding himself. He knew this was a bad idea. Not only did Tony work for him, he was a man. With the exception of a few one night stands, he had practically succeeding in pushing those urges out of his mind entirely. But Tony just brought all of them to the forefront.
Tony took a deep breath before turning to him. "So, I think now might be a good time to talk, boss." He was smiling. Gibbs honestly thought he would melt.
"This was a mistake, DiNozzo." Tony rolled his eyes.
"One time is a mistake, Gibbs. Twice?" He shook his head. "Not so much."
"You came onto me!"
"You weren't exactly stopping me."
Gibbs almost retaliated until he realized something. He wasn't angry. This wasn't a real argument. This was… bantering. They were bantering. That wasn't good.
"Rule twelve; never date a coworker." Of all of Gibbs' employees, past and present, Tony followed his rules as though they were his commandments. Hell, he followed them better than Gibbs did sometimes.
Tony rolled his eyes again. "Never date a coworker. But," he gave him a mischievous grin, "There's no rule about sleeping with one." He wriggled his eyebrows. And he'd have to admit, Gibbs was almost tempted.
"NCIS does, particularly about two men."
"Our business, not theirs." Gibbs was quiet for a second.
"Are you saying you want this?"
"Do you?" He still had a bit of a smile on his face.
"No." Gibbs was sure that statement would deter the younger man. Wipe that grin right off his face. Except it didn't. He gave it a thoughtful moment, that twinkle still in his eyes.
Then he came up and straddled Gibbs' hips. The older man sucked in a deep breath as his body reacted. "Then throw me off. Tell me that's not a hard on I'm feeling right now." Tony's mouth was less than an inch away from his own. His hot breath tickled his lip. "I'm going to kiss you right now. Are you going to stop me?"
Gibbs lightly shook his head. "No."
"Senor Gibbs?" Gibbs threw the fridge door shut at the sound of Camila's voice. He had no idea how long he was standing there, but he was pretty sure he looked like an idiot. "Is everything alright?"
He didn't speak. Instead, he looked her up and down. There was no denying her beauty. And she was such a great person. The way she came up and hugged him sort of reminded him of Abby. The way she ignored Mike reminded him of Kate. But the way she flirted with him reminded him off…
"Yeah," he said finally. "I'm just looking for a beer." She smiled. It was that warm smile she always seemed to have when looking at him. He could tell that she truly liked him. As more than just an escape from Mike, or because she found him attractive.
She generally liked him.
She came up and stood next to him. She pulled a bottle of beer off the top shelf. It was right in front of his face the entire time.
They shared a chuckle as he pulled off the top and took a sip. "Not one of my finer moments, huh?" She shook her head.
"Not really. But it's ok. Everyone is allowed a few." She winked at him before she turned around and left the room. He took another swig of his beer.
"Well if that wasn't flirting, then I don't know what is." Gibbs didn't even bother to turn around. He knew that Mike was standing in the doorway. And more importantly, he knew he was smiling all knowingly at him.
"What's your point?"
"My point, Jethro, is that beautiful, sensual Mexican woman just flirted with you, and you're not trying to get her in your bed as we speak." The older man moved from the doorway closer to his former partner. He leaned on the counter next to the fridge. "I wonder why."
Gibbs glared at him. "I told you, she's a little young for me." He turned around and headed off towards his room.
"So is DiNozzo."
Gibbs didn't stop moving. He was afraid that if he did, he would punch his mentor straight in the face.
He walked into his room and plopped down on his bed. He rubbed his eyes with the balls of his hands. It was happening all over again. Except Mike was worse. Tony was delusional, Mike had no such excuse. He was messing with him strictly out of cruelty.
The question was why. Mike wasn't a necessarily cruel person, so Gibbs couldn't figure out why he would do this.
He didn't know how long he lay there, but after a while, exhaustion overtook him.
He grasped the head board, his head thrown back against the pillows as Tony pushed inside of him. He was so close to the edge, and he knew Tony would soon follow. His legs tightened around the other man's waist in an attempt to push him further in. A feat in and of itself, considering Tony was buried deep as it was.
His gut twisted and his muscles tightened. He cried out as his orgasm took over. Tony's movements increased in pressure, but decreased in speed as he climaxed. He collapsed on top of the older man with a grunt. Gibbs lowered his legs. He rubbed Tony's back.
The younger man tried to pull away—out—but Gibbs grabbed his shoulder to stop him. "Don't. Not yet." Tony gave him a lopsided smile, but nevertheless complied.
"Can I ask you something?"
Gibbs nodded. "Shoot."
"Why do you do this?" He pointed between them. "After sex, you always… make me stay… in you." He flushed as he said those words.
"Embarrassed there, Tony?" Tony gave him an awkward smile.
"I just think it's a little weird. I mean, having me in you during sex is one thing, I don't get the whole deal about afterwards. It can't exactly be all that comfortable." He looked down at the way Gibbs was practically folded in half. "So?"
Gibbs smiled warmly. "I just like it."
Tony looked at him confused. "Are you trying to tell me that you're a masochist, Gibbs?"
Gibbs shook his head. "No."He said it that way he does at work to tell people there was no arguing.
"Then why?"
He sighed heavily before he answered. "I like it. I like… feeling you close." He started rubbing Tony's back again. "It… makes me feel whole. Complete." Tony's smile widened with every word he spoke. "Ok?"
Tony didn't say anything for a bit. "Gibbs, I," he paused and pulled up a little bit. "I never realized… how much of a sap you are." Gibbs threw his head back and laughed out loud. "You also laugh a lot more when you're at home."
Gibbs looked at the younger man. There was a gleam in his eye. Tony truly was a sight to see. Gibbs pulled him closer and shook his head. "Only with you, Tony. Just you." Tony's smile widened. "You can spare an old man a few minutes, can't you?"
Tony rolled his eyes. "You're not that old, Jethro." Gibbs smiled at the use of his first name.
Tony snuggled closer into Gibbs' chest. "And, I suppose a few more minutes like this isn't that weird." Gibbs smiled again. He kissed Tony's forehead as he pulled him closer.
Gibbs jerked awake with a gasp. He sat up panting. Nausea rolled around in his stomach.
He remembered.
He remembered everything that he had with Tony. Every sappy, cheesy moment, every argument, every moment in the bedroom… or under the boat… or in the car, the couch. And it sickened him.
How could he ever have forgotten him? He told Tony that he loved him. And he humiliated him. He basically said he was crazy. How could he do that to someone that he loved.
He clenched his eyes shut tight and ran a hand over his face. A sob caught in his throat as tears slid down his cheeks.
I'm sorry this one doesn't have a happy ending either, but to be honest I had this idea before I even posted the first one. I fully understand if you want me to stop, but let me know if you want me to continue, because I really like these stories. Again, flames are welcomed!
Also, I should probably mention, I was really tired when I wrote this, so if it's confusing, let me know, and I'll probably rewrite it so it makes more sense. Sorry for any confusion!
