Show me your soul

Amaya Hitomi 253

Kingdom Hearts

Axel

These are my dreams, that I've never had before

It started way back when. Before everything spiraled its way down to the widdled nothing it is now. When he laughed stonily at my hot headedness, and I scoffed at his need for rules. Some would have said that as nobodies, as beings with out hearts, as things that shouldn't exist, none of this should have happened in the first place. They are completely wrong. Or completely right. I'm not sure anymore. I'm not sure of much anymore. Only that I just gave my all so that some kid…Roxas… so that Sora could live and do away with organization 13. All I know is that stupid song he used to love was stuck in my head. It's a pretty song I'll give him that. Somber and slow, ringing oh so true. Right now he'd probably glare at me, for my rashness. He'd stand there, distinct apathy on his scarred face He'd say…

"Look what you've gone and done now." a deep voice came from my side. I knew it was him. It could only have been him. I open my eyes, my fading body taking its good ol' time in doing so, and look into deep hazel.

Somebody wake me cause I, I must be sleeping.

"Aren't you happy?" I ask testily. My body fading ever so slowly now. He looks at me, still completely emotionless. His hair is really shiny, for some unknown reason.

"Why would I be? How could I be?" His eyes still bear no emotion. As if it was everyday your lover, ex lover I remind myself, dies. Can I even be considered his lover? Doesn't that entitle love? Doesn't it mean he'd actually have to love me?

"Shouldn't I be punished to the highest extent, shouldn't you be here to execute me, not that you could being as late as you are…" He doesn't even budge, not a flinch at the thought of killing me.

"You love to be a pain in his ass don't you?" he says naturally, not moving anything but his lips as he says it.

"Yep, and you love following his orders, but we've had this conversation before." I say starkly. He raises one eyebrow.

"Why do you insist on doing foolish things?"

"You mean remembering what it's like having a heart?"

"I still remember my heart Axel."

"Obviously not but we've had this talk also. Why are you here Sai?" I'm exasperated by this time. He walks closer, until his feet are at my ear and he looms over me. He's formidable at this angle. Tall, muscular, with a cold stare. He starts to kneel, and I can see the tears in hazel eyes.

Now that we're here so far away, all the struggles we fought were in vain

"I'm sorry"

"I don't care"

"What did you want from me? More then I could give you?" he sounded frustrated now. His voice taking on a huskier tone.

"I could never ask for more than you could give. What I asked for… was a look at your soul."

"Axel…"

"Still don't have the words to say to save me do you? Go back to your superior, I bet he wants his pet back…" With that I closed my eyes, then overtaken by nothing, knowing nothing, and everything. Thinking of nothing, but him. Him and the blue eyes of the boy who I fucked up in the same way HE did me.

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Saix

He never explained why he hated seeing me with our superior. He never once uttered a single word. Almost as if he couldn't. I guess I should have known he couldn't. I should have known that the hot head would bottle it up until the end, until it tore him apart. He was quite emotional for someone with no heart.

I have to block out all thoughts of you so I don't lose my head.

He's quite a skillful boy… that Roxas… Sora, whatever. Though he'll always be a petulant wretch to me. Waltzing in here like he owned everything, laying claim to everything. On things that were mine. Placing his sticky unwashed paws on my things, on Axel. He was an immature child that still wanted to find himself, and who he was. And yet they all fell for it, they all did. As if his innocent blue eyes ensnared them all. How could I lose to him, how could I lose to him again. I've lost everything to him.

Ok so maybe blame could be placed on me. I could have tried harder, I could have spoken to him about everything, and I could have made the decision of keeping what I had instead of desiring what I won't get now. And this stupid boy didn't even know what he had. He was but a child caught up in a web of things he couldn't understand. And he ran off and away from his problems, like I expected him to.

That bit me in the ass too. All I wanted was for him to talk to me again, to look at me gain, to love me again

Make a porno feel like home

I bet he always thought I was pragmatic. Like I never once cared about him. I never did like he asked; I never showed him my soul. Even while with him never once did I let him in, not when we first kissed, not when he first let me in, not while he slept afterwards. I couldn't, wouldn't. He was always there, no matter how much I tortured, brutalized, hurt, and abandoned him. He always was there smiling in satisfaction.

"I don't care what you do to me. I don't break. Got it memorized?" He'd say. Blue-green eyes shining in determination. "I know you're trying to push me away but it won't work."

Eventually I guess it did… I guess I just kept bending him until he broke. As I fade now all I can do is think of him. Him and the blue eyed boy who took him from me.