Guy Love
Snape sneered as he looked around his potions class room. Freaky little midgets were actually doing their work. Even Ronald Weasley and Harry Potter. It was unnerving. Something was up. Something big. And Severus did not like being in the dark. Even Albus kept him up to date on the goings-on of the Order. So what the hell were the idget fifth years planning? He caught Ronald and Harry grinning at each other momentarily before going back to their potions. Severus shook off the unnerving feeling he felt and walked back to his desk, sitting on it. And it happened. Harry and Ronald jumped up and Harry began singing.
"Let's face
the facts about me and you,
a love unspecified.
Though I'm
proud to call you "Chocolate Bear,"
The crowd will
always talk and stare."
Everyone (including Hermione) turned to stare at them. She hadn't really thought they'd do it… Kind of creepy… Severus's jaw was on the floor and he was too in shock to pick it up. He stared blankly, his eyes dilating. Ron responded.
"I feel
exactly those feelings, too
and that's why I keep them
inside.
'Cause this bear can't bear the world's disdain,
and
sometimes it's easier to hide,
than explain our," sang the
Weasley boy.
Together, Potter
and Weasley sang, "Guy love,
that's all it is,
Guy
love,
He's mine, I'm his,
there's nothing gay about it in
our eyes."
Draco glared daggers at Ronald and Blaise daggers at Harry. Wonder why, Severus briefly thought.
"You ask me 'bout this thing we share," Ronald sang.
"And he tenderly replies," Harry sang. And he hit the high note perfectly. No falter and he didn't sound half bad. He sounded pretty good, actually.
Softly, Ronald sang, "it's guy love…"
They took each other's hands and pressed their bodies against each other, pressing their foreheads together, smiling softly at the other as Draco and Blaise growled. "Between two guys…"
Ronald spun away from Harry as he sang, "We're closer than the average man and wife."
"That's why our matching bracelets say Ron and Harry!" the Potter boy retaliated. Ronald spun back to Harry who dipped him down low.
In a low, seductive voice, Ronald sang, "You know I'll stick by for the rest of my life."
"You're the only man who's ever been inside of me!" Harry proudly declared. Hermione cringed at Draco's wild (but quiet) growl and Blaise's glare. If looks could kill, Harry would be long gone.
Ron blinked and looked around and smiled sheepishly, waving his hands about. "Whoa, whoa! I was just trynna fix a spell!" he exclaimed. The deadly aura around Draco and Blaise calmed only just.
"There's no need to clarify," Harry murmured softly.
"Oh no?" Ronald sang back.
"Just let it grow more and more each day. It's like I married my best friend," Harry sang, jumping onto the table in front of him, spinning in a circle. He shot Draco a cocky smile and pulled Ronald onto the table with him. Severus was forever embedding this moment into his mind to present to Albus and the Dark Lord.
Ronald stepped back and punched the air and screamed (but still managed to sing it), "BUT IN A TOTALLY MANLY WAY!" Together, he and Harry jumped onto Draco's and Blaise's table while singing.
"LET'S GO!"
They grinned
down at the boys they towered over and faced each other. Harry spun
to Ronald who dipped him down. "Its guy love, don't
compromise," they sang softly. Slowly, Ron pulled Harry up and
they took hands, swinging them above them, keeping them there. "The
feeling of some other guy,
holding up your heart, into the sky."
The two then jumped onto Severus's desk and Severus had to dive
down to avoid being kicked in the head. Ronald pulled Harry to his
chest.
"I'll be there to care through all the lows," Harry sang softly.
"I'll be there to share the highs."Ronald hit the high note without fail, and he, like Harry, didn't sound half-bad. Ron smirked in the general direction of Blaise while Harry merely smiled coyly at Draco.
"And when I say "I love you Ron", it's not what it implies," Harry murmured as Ronald stepped off the table.
Harry smiled down at his best friend as they sang slowly together, "Its guy love…" They paused. "Between…." They smiled at each other and there was a snapping of a quill heard from Draco and the snap of the spine of a book from Blaise. "Two…" Harry smiled his coy smile at Draco and Ronald grinned at Blaise. "Guys…." Ronald offered Harry his hand to pull him down. Harry slapped it away and Draco perked up.
"No hands," Harry chided. He threw himself into the arms of his best friend. "Hugs." Severus stood up from his spot on the floor, locking that memory away for blackmail later on. He dusted himself off as Draco and Blaise stood up. Draco's chair was literally in pieces and Blaise's looked like it couldn't handle any more.
Slowly, Draco walked over to the Gryffindors, Blaise right behind him. Most of the Gryffindors sucked in their breaths as the pairs faced off.
"Yes?" Harry asked coyly. "Can we help you with something… Draco?" Draco visibly shuddered in pleasure as the Boy Wonder practically purred his name. Ronald just smirked at Blaise.
"Yeah Malfoy, Blaise," Ronald murmured, uttering the last name huskily.
"Weasley, hallway, NOW," Blaise ordered. Ronald obeyed without question, something alight in his eye that only Hermione, Harry, Draco, and Blaise caught. Blaise sneered cruelly at Harry and left. Harry put his hands on his hips and looked at Draco. The picture of the Golden Boy before Draco looked really……. Gay. Draco looked the Boy Wonder up and down and his eyes widened.
"Oh. My. God. Potter, are your nails actually painted?" Draco exclaimed. A light pink tinged Harry's cheeks.
"… 'M-'Mione told me green is my color…" He mumbled shyly.
"I was criticizing it, idiot," Draco remarked. Harry's eyes narrowed and Draco slapped him upside the head.
Harry just looked at him. Draco stared at him incredulously.
"JUMP HIM, DRACO!!" Pansy screamed from somewhere behind the Malfoy heir. Harry blinked and had to do a double take and he grinned shyly.
"Why the hell not?" He asked.
"NOT IN MY CLASSROOM MALFOY, POTTER!!" Severus yelled. I mean, c'mon, he had to draw the line SOMEWHERE. Lucius would be seeing this anyways. Draco would probably have to go spend the rest of his summers with Harry. Severus shuddered at the images that conjured up.
"Awe, you're boring Professor," Pansy moaned in pain.
"Weasley, Zabini! Get in here now!" Severus yelled. Blaise and Ronald walked in, both looking perfectly normal. Not like they had just been making out or anything. I mean, Ron's hair looked like road kill and Blaise's hair looked like he licked his finger and stuck it in an outlet. Ronald looked like he just finished bull fighting, his clothes were so disheveled. Blaise's looked like he escaped a tornado he was disheveled. Severus, Draco, and Harry all did the Malfoy Eyebrow Raise©, looked at each other, shook their heads, and looked away in denial.
"Creeps," Harry muttered.
"What?!" Ron exclaimed. "Mate, I'm not the one who agreed to let Malfoy jump me. That was you. You're the creep here," he explained, nodding to himself. Severus whacked him upside the head with a book he pulled out of nowhere.
"Take. Your seats," the teacher growled. Harry turned Lily's eyes onto his teacher.
"You… Didn't like our singing…?" he asked, his eyes beginning to water. Unwillingly, Severus melted under the penetrating puppy eyes of Lily's son. He clapped mockingly three times, very, very slowly.
"Bravo with your song, Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley. Now. I would appreciate it if you returned to your potions," Severus snarled.
"What do we get if we do?" Ronald objected.
"Two hundred points to Gryffindor and Slytherin respectively if you boys move back to your seats," Severus growled through gritted teeth. At 'two hundred' all four boys were in a seat. Not necessarily in their seats. Draco took Ronald's seat beside Harry and Hermione and Ronald took Draco's seat beside Blaise, across from Parvati. "Thank. You."
