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Journal V

-Uchiha Main House, Konoha-


So, let's review. Or rather, begin, since this marks the start of my fifth volume since my arrival in this world. Much has happened, but I find it's always worthwhile to remember the blessings we've been given. The other word for that is children.

Kazuo, my oldest boy, born not long after the World War ended. Unsurprisingly, he never lacked for classmates, since there was a baby boom shortly after the war. After Kazuo's birth, there was a little stint of finally analyzing my chakra once and for all, and it was determined that Kazuo was, in fact, all the better for having my otherworldly genes. Fortunate, because the next child was already on the way. It should be noted that Kazuo takes after his father's personality and intelligence. Like my clever husband, Kazuo became a chūnin soon after he became a genin. Unlike his older male relatives, he hasn't seen fit to leave the village. I blame my influence.

Sanae is next. Unlike Kazuo, she decided to stay a civilian. In the village's eyes, it's a shame, but I don't blame her—if she'd gone the shinobi route, she would be on a team with an Uzumaki kid, or Sarada, or any of those lot. Sanae says she chose not to become a shinobi because she shares my chakra. In truth, she hates the thought of murder and has set her eyes on the political side of life. I've tutored her in seals, but she isn't interested in pursuing them. She doesn't have to, since Tsunade declared her chakra completely safe. Frankly, Itachi and I trust her to decide what she wants to do with her life, and Sanae will make that decision when she's ready. It's nice to have a kid who isn't risking her life . . . but that's not saying much. Healthy children seem to risk their lives every day, regardless.

Minoru and Minako are disturbingly identical fraternal twins. Fortunately for everyone not in their immediate family, Minoru is a boy and Minako is a girl. They've always had their subtle differences, and as they've grown, it's become easier to tell them apart. They just entered the shinobi ranks and now at least their weapon pouches are on different legs thanks to different dominant sides. I know Naruto must have been a pain in his younger years, and his son Boruto is trying his level best to out-prank Naruto, but my twins have certainly not been a blessing to anyone's sanity. Back when Hinata used to babysit . . . well, that's in the past and she's still friends with me. I fear for the day the twins learn the shadow clone jutsu.

Naomi is the terror of the family. She has more energy than the Nine-Tails—and this is the truth. Kurama has a lot of chakra, but I've met the poor bijū, and he himself has met Naomi and agreed. Where the twins enjoy fooling people, Naomi enjoys being blunt. This has gotten her into trouble with her parents on multiple occasions. Anyone who can get on Itachi's bad side (however rarely) has serious potential to go a long way in life. I have a horrible suspicion that Naruto is going to put Naomi and his daughter Himawari on the same genin team one day, and on his head be it. If I ever become a jōnin sensei, it definitely won't be with that team. Besides, that would be a long time in the future. I'm afraid I'm having too much fun with my own offspring to take a vacation just yet.

After the force of nature that was Naomi, Mikoto comes across as an angelic child. In all fairness, she's about as close to the ideal as Kazuo was. Unlike Kazuo, Mikoto has a stubborn streak that brings to mind the Milky Way galaxy. It's always been terribly amusing when new genin teams show up on my doorstep, but I can say with bias that the reaction to Mikoto—a sweet, adorable girl as loving as her paternal grandmother who subsequently sets into them with fire unknown by jutsu—has been my favorite so far.

Taiki is my baby. He hasn't had much of a chance to grow up yet. Intriguingly, when Sasuke visits, which is rare, the one thing he wants to do is hold my babies. Taiki's the first one he's actually held without being prodded. Like the brat brother Sasuke is, he told me that I'd probably need him to hold my son, what with another baby on the way. Such idiocy. When I need help, Itachi always sends a clone or two. It's not rocket science.

Kazuo, Sanae, Minoru and Minako, Naomi, Mikoto, Taiki, and an unborn baby on the way. Yes, that covers it. Well, except for the whys and whens and little things that get left out in the hubbub of life.

I suppose there is one additional person in our family that bears mentioning. There are extended family members—Sasuke, Sakura, and my darling niece Sarada—and, of course, a certain husband that I consider important. The unknown in the equation is me. I defied the odds. I defied the laws of chakra. I refused to believe that fate couldn't be changed, and I won. After that great victory, it wasn't much harder to go ahead and pull off a life expectation that shocked the shinobi world even more than marrying Itachi.

Marry a well-known traitor and help him rejoin the village? That's forgivable. Sakura waited a few years to do the same thing and no one batted an eye. Have seven kids, however, and everyone loses their mind.

Like it's not enough to marry a man with PTSD and the Mangekyō without myself having shinobi strength! But enough about the old days.

Once upon a time, a homeschooled girl from a large family woke up in a world full of shinobi. It wasn't so bad, really—I was usually able to keep up journaling, and none of the kidnappings turned out to be permanent, so it all ended up all right. Raising the kids hasn't dropped my sanity much lower than it was to begin with. Whatever will I do with myself now?

Reform the country, of course. And care for my family.

And right now, go change a diaper.


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~Don't worry, I don't know what this is, either. Besides a plot bunny. I mean, why aren't there large families in Naruto? It's cultural, and I get that. I would just like to point out that having huge families has been done, can be done, and is done by several families I personally know.

And hush. You know that Itachi with umpteen cute kids is the most adorable thing ever.

The concept for this came from a picture I drew of Itachi and a hypothetical future family—was it ever hard to get him middle-aged!—and I couldn't resist as more and more kids kept sneaking onto the paper. They were cute! There's a link to the picture on my profile if you're curious. It took me some time to draw that adult face.

Where is this going? I don't know. Maybe short random chapters. Maybe even chronological order. There's a really long backstory behind this, but I don't intend to do more than hint at it for the moment. That wouldn't be any fun.

Any suggestions? Anyone else inordinately amused by this whole thing? I know I am. I'm off to snicker right now, in fact. *shakes head* Eh, it was worth it for the title alone. Right? *crickets*

Ha! I fully expect this to become the Next Big Thing, guys! ;) (But seriously, if you noticed typos or think I should reword the summary or anything, let me know.) Just tell me what you want to see next.