Authors Note
Hi everyone! This story is dedicated to my roommate who is possibly an even bigger Loki fan than I.
Now some ground rules.
First this is going to be long. It will progress as it sees fit and will not be your usual boy gets girl love story.
There will be torture, mention of rape, sexual content, and a hell of a lot of tragedy. I am writing Loki as in character as I can and in a way I interpret his person based off the comics, movies, and shows.
I will use Norse and Pagan rituals, myths etc. Jormungar, Fenrir and Hel will be in this. I have not decided about Sleipnir. Jor and Sleip will not be his actual children, but instead creatures he summoned like pets that human myth regarded as his children, much like a person to their own pets. This is because I do not feel comfortable with a person, even in animal form, having sex with an animal so I want it to fit as best I can. Fenrir I believe in the comics has a human form so he gets to stay as a blood son.
Next, this is partially inspired by Kingdom Hearts stating that Marvel will be in the next game, supposedly. I am putting my take on how that would fit in and how it could fit in. I always saw KH as a dark story so as such, this is my take on that as well. Please note that aside from heartless and Xehanort and mentions of nobody's, there is no intention to bring in any KH characters. I do not feel it is important to the story nor do I want this in the crossover section as I feel it will give away important story points and parts.
This will be as canon as possible BUT I will be changing certain points to make my plot flow properly AND so that KH can be fluidly apart of the story. I do not need any reviews trying to tell me I am wrong, I am aware, this is how I am telling this story though.
Next, I will explain choices for certain word choices, rituals, etc, and where I got them at the end of chapters so please feel free to read those if you are ever curious about the stuff I put in this story.
My biggest thing is I want to stay close to Norse mythology if I can, so I will be doing lots of research.
Updates will not be super consistent, but I will do my best.
Alright lets get this story on the road!
Story Start
I could feel the water move like silk through my fingertips, swirling around them, dancing before they rejoined and continued down their path.
It was a frigid winter night and I had found myself standing in an equally frigid river when I awoke. My teeth chattered and my hair stuck to my face in odd angles from my sweaty sleep.I brought my fingers to clutch painfully at my arms.
This was the 4th time this month I awoke in the river. I shivered violently as my thin cotton pants and shirt clung in desperation to my lithe form. I pulled myself from the river finally after what seemed like hours. The river was violent tonight and the last thing I wanted was to be swept away.
I stood on the bank staring up at my dark windows in contemplation. My dreams were swirls of black and white, figures without faces, and words without meaning. Dreams were an incorrect word I suppose, they were more like nightmares.
I always remembered standing upon a stain glass platform staring at a door I could not open as I felt the void of darkness pressing in so deeply upon my heart I couldn't breath.
I could remember the panic as my voice whispered in my head to use the key to open the door, to open up all my answers. I didn't have a key, and I remember searching everywhere before the inky black sky blanketed the platform up and swallowed me whole in its frozen and suffocating presence.
This is when I usually awoke in the river, cold, wet, and fearful. I didn't even bother to try the door, knowing after the last 3 times it was still locked. I climbed an old willow tree near my bedroom window and snuck in, my wet clothing leaving a dripping trail all over my bedroom as I stripped down to my bareness, shivering violently.
I pulled out some heavy pajamas and tiptoed my way to my small bathroom to warm up. Turning the hot knob on the shower to full and allowed it to pelt my body in an attempt to stop my shivering.
'Two hearts connected through everything, they will always find each other, it's so romantic isn't it?'
'These necklaces will make sure we remain connected forever...'
'Sometimes, without reason, we find ourselves tied to something bigger, greater, and beyond us, isn't it amazing to think out there among all the worlds there may be someone destined to find us through it all?'
'Will you share one with me?'
I jolted upright with a start, the water had long since become lukewarm. I shivered slightly as I noticed my ruby red skin. I had fallen asleep in the shower this time.
Better than the river I suppose.
I pulled myself from the bottom of the shower, turning off the shower as I went, and pulled a fluffy purple towel around my form, drying myself off.
Dressing myself I wandered into my living room and sat on the couch, turning on the TV, and just enjoying the glow.
I was beyond sleep now.
~Break~
Loki wasn't sure how long he had been asleep, in fact, he wasn't even aware how long he had been imprisoned in his god forsaken cell. Time had lost all reason and he soon fell into a mostly catatonic like state to save his sanity from the prolonged solitude.
The days did not show in his cell, he could not feel the seasons change, not even the slightest breeze. His mouth sewn shut, his arms locked across the expanse of his stomach, his eyes unable to see past the darkness he was secluded in.
Which is why it was odd he kept feeling a tugging sensation while he laid against the wall comatose. It kept awakening him from his self induced trance.
If he could swear to the heavens he would without hesitation to the being that kept calling upon his.
It resonated with him some nights, and tonight, was no exception.
He felt the pull so strong he tried to gasp for breaths he could not gather. Blood seeped through the iron tight stitches pulling his mouth closed. Gasps pressed through his nose and he felt the burn as his spit redirected through his nasal cavity in panic.
Whoever the being was, it called him with such fervor his bones ached, in that moment Loki Laufeyson truly wished for death.
As soon as it came it subsided, he fell forward to feel the cold stone against his now bruised cheek. He panted as he tasted copper in his mouth as he swallowed thickly.
If the gods truly wished to condemn him, they had indeed gotten their wish. Somewhere in the stirrings of his mind he knew it was the fine line between sanity and insanity he walked that had caused his hysteria, but he had grown so used to knowing everything that he forgot what it was like to fear the unknown.
Much like a child again he curled in on himself to block out the reality he didn't want to face.
A reality he couldn't face yet.
~Break~
I awoke to the sun stinging at my eyes and curled into a tiny and awkward position on the floor.
At some point in the night I had ended up on the floor I suppose.
So much for returning to regularity.
Then again, I don't think I will ever really know what is regular for me.
Stretching myself out I attempted to yawn but let out a pitiful cry as I felt a strong pain at my lips.
"What?" I gasped as it quickly faded to nothing. I pressed at my lips and moved it in awkward angles in alarm, but the strange stinging pain never returned.
Moving myself to the kitchen I poured myself some water and drank it in, allowing it to cool my sandpaper throat. I deposited my glass in the sink and fell against my table, slumped over.
Clutching my hair I willed myself to pull myself together. I had work today, down at the diner and I didn't have time to breakdown from lack of sleep, or otherwise.
Pulling myself from the kitchen table I gathered myself together and prepared for work.
~Break~
For the faintest of moments Loki felt a presence stir within his mind before it snapped shut leaving him with a pounding headache. Whoever was resonating with his soul had no idea it was happening, and it did nothing but cause his great pain.
Head bowed he heard the echoing of footsteps falling from the stairs leading to his coffin.
No doubt it was his fool of a 'brother' attempting to reach him.
He had no clue, no idea, the hells he experience, used by everyone in his life, he had long since closed his heart off and wished nothing but the same pain upon others.
He would rule them, he would rule those pathetic little mortals Odin and Thor had held so dear.
He would take from them all they loved, and maybe, just maybe, they could comprehend the pain he felt.
But he had failed didn't he? When he was given such promise of power he had foolishly accepted without realizing he, the god of lies, was being played when he had released the Chitauri onto earth.
He was used again, his body taken and used up for someone elses purpose, his rage fueled on stronger and he let the darkness that ebbed at his heart in. he had become, in that moment, a prisoner in his own body, the use of the staff that allowed him to control others hearts, had also allowed him to control his.
It was too pathetic for words, it really was.
This cell was his resolve, and he promised he would change what he had become, every single person who hurt him, he would pull them apart until they begged for the same circumstances he found himself in.
Odin was by no means merciful, this may only be the beginning of his punishment, but he would endure, and remember every moment in perfect detail.
"Brother, I have not come for our usual pleasantries, Odin has felt a stir of magic from here, and he is furious...please, this once, tell me truthfully what you know so I can help you, if not, you know your reputation, and it will precede you."
If Loki could snort, he would.
~Break~
Popping another Advil I groaned, wishing for the headache to eb even the littlest of bits. God, just as everything had started to regain normalcy it had to come crashing down so hard I found myself spinning.
Ever since that attack on New York too...
Ugh! Who was I kidding, it was a coincidence, and really narcissistic of me to assume I had any connection to such an important event.
But it was hard not to think, even for a second, that maybe that event held the answers I seeked.
~Break~
Odin had pulled him from his cell in a rage, pulled him forth in front of his council, eyes burning from the light he had yet to adjust to, and pushed into his mind to find some proof of foul play.
When all he found was Loki's pure and unadulterated rage he grew angry and threw him back into his cell without care.
Thor kept swearing their father loved them both, all Loki could feel was such resentment he could taste it on his silver tongue.
He had no answers to give for the strange presence that had been curling around him like a kitten since a month after his incarceration.
He had no answers to give, but he would not admit that, he would not admit such a weakness, he would not give such a power to anyone.
No, he would remain silent, as if it were on purpose he was causing such trouble.
Let them run around like the ants they were, seeking answers to the questions he also asked.
~Break~
A week had come and gone, halfway through January and it was still such a strong chill. I was sitting awake again, wet from my warm shower, and the winter chill still clinging to my bones.
I felt at a loss, I had no one to go too...I was 20 years old and I only knew the past 2 years of my life...I didn't even know where to begin...
One day, I awoke in a field of flowers belonging to a nice family who raised horses. They fed me and allowed me to clean my weary body and even tried to help me figure myself out.
After 2 days I realized I probably never would know, and instead opted try and live my life in hopes it would come back to me.
Taking what money and belongings that were on my person I purchased a small home and got myself a job.
2 years later I had no answers and many more problems.
I was afraid to go back to sleep, but I felt a pull so strong I soon faded to blackness.
~Break~
Within the past week Loki had concluded for whatever reason someone had produced a connection with him, a connection he could use to escape.
Yes, but then what, his magic would still be bound by the same spell that bound Thor from his hammer.
His mouth would still be sewn shut, what would he do...
But if the person who had called out to him was also a mage, or even just a creature with a connections he could use it to erase the bonds that held him captive.
It was a gamble, he was at a disadvantage, no magic, no silver tongue, just his pitiful state and a way out.
Well, Loki never did make it this far without taking a few risks, and he was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth.
He concentrated hard on the presence that had been in his mind moments ago, pulling it back to connect with him.
He felt a pitiful resistance and almost laughed, within moments he allowed it full access and slumped over, sucumbing to the presence as well.
~Break~
The world was dark, just as I remembered, but this time, there was no platform, not even a clear floor.
I looked around trying to distinguish where I was only to feel stuck in the inky black surroundings.
"I would be careful if I were you," a silky voice chided, "My mind is not a place to get lost in."
I whipped around so fast my neck screamed in protest. I saw a beautiful face surrounded with long dirty black hair and dirty black and green clothing.
His face was weary and I could see he had not been living easy.
"Please stop taking note of my appearance, I am aware of my circumstances and how they have wrought on my body, so please, spare me such pitiful thoughts." he chastised.
"I...did I say that out loud?" I squeaked, suddenly fearful.
"Just my luck." He laughed out as he spun to stare in the expanse of emptiness.
"What?"
"It is a midgardian who has called to me, a pitiful excuse for a being who is my only source of salvation, the irony is not lost on me oh gods," he let out a wicked laugh this time, his crazed eyes boring into my very being, "Listen here you mewling quim, you are within my minds, nothing you hold is secret, so stop trying to hide your disgusting thoughts." he was spitting in fury now.
"I..." I took as shaky breath, "I didn't mean to come here, I don't even know how..." I was shaking now, suddenly wishing for my usual nightmares.
"Of course not, you only haunt me night after night, pulling me forth as you see fit, and you have no clue what you are doing, tell me human, do you know why you are here?" his eyes held a glint and a sudden thought spewed forth from my mouth.
"Answers, I am here for answers." he belted out such a resounding laugh my insides tingled and my heart clenched so tight I wanted to vomit.
