Harley was going to get these papers signed if she had to shoot up the entire damn adoption agency.
The Joker on the other hand couldn't understand for the life of him why Harley would want to adopt children. For much less trouble, and much more fun, they could just kidnap Batsy's Birdbrain.
"C'mon," she sighed, draping herself over his arm. "These will belong to us. Do you really want to rip him off when we can one-up him?"
"It's not ripping him off Harls. It's just taking one of his kids. He has so many, he wouldn't notice if we took one of them." Joker argued. He sometimes questioned all the stuff he did for Harley to keep her from turning on him. He was surprised how scary she could get when she was angry.
She pouted. "Yeah, exactly. He won't even care. But if we get a pair of sweet little marionettes of our own… we can train the wittle babies however we want! Don'cha think they'll take to it better than the birdboy?"
Joker had to admit, she was kinda right. And he hated admitting when she was right. He almost missed the days he could push her out of a window and she would still come back wanting him. She'd always come back, of course… but lately, it'd be with weaponry. Like he said earlier, it was scary pissing her off. He remembered the time he ditched her, and she came back dressed as a cop… He still had bruises from the beating he got.
"Puddin,' please? For me?" she turned wide puppy eyes on him, pouting her lips.
Joker sighed. "Fine, but don't you expect me to clean the little brats, read them a bedtime story, or whatever parents do."
"Don't worry, we'll get the big 'uns, so we barely haf'ta do a lick!"
Joker wanted to argue, but at the same time he didn't want to waste more time on this. He knew if Harley set her mind to something, then even he couldn't convince her otherwise. "Fine by me Harls. But not too old. I don't want them crying for the attention they never got."
"How 'bout seven? It's good luck!"
"You know I don't belief in that good luck stuff Harley. But alright, seven will do. But not older!"
"Anythin' ya say, Puddin'!"
Atleast she's still submissive to him. He had to admit, Harley was usefull. Too useful sometimes. He was still a little angry at her for daring to capture Batman instead of him. And explaining the joke! Atleast she learned not to do that anymore.
She walked up to the desk. "We'd like to buy two seven-year-olds please!"
The worker at the desk looked at the two. She could swear they looked like The Joker and Harley Quinn. Luckily for Harley, but less so for Joker, the disguises the two were wearing fooled her enough. She gave Harley the documents necessary to complete the adoption.
"Thanks soooo much!" she giggled. "I promise I'll feed 'em and walk 'em and clean up after 'em!"
"They're kids Harls, not dogs or your hyenas." Joker reminded her.
"Same difference!"
Joker chuckled a little. "Okay, that was funny."
She glowed at the rare praise. "Am I learnin'?"
"Just a little bit."
She hugged him, excitedly, "When will the kiddies arrive?"
"It can take pretty long, usually multiple months, or even a year." The woman at the desk answered.
Joker tried his hardest not to crack a smile at the news. Then he did smile knowing Harley is likely not going to accept that as an answer.
"I want my babies. Now."
"I'm sorry miss, but we can't give you the children earlier." The woman responded, getting a little scared at Harley's sudden outburst.
She growled. "I. Want. My. Babies!" she pulled out a gun. "Gimme!"
Joker laughed at Harley's outburst. Maybe this could still get pretty funny.
Her eyes flashed, holding the gun to the woman's forehead. "Two seven-year-olds. Now."
The woman shook in fear. "I'd love to give you the children now, but I'm not allowed!"
"I don't care! Give them to me! You probably have some extras in storage, right?"
The woman gulped. "Alright, just sign the documents, and they're all yours!"
She beamed, signing "Dr. H. Quinn" in pink pen. "Where are they?"
"They're not here! That was what I was trying to explain to you!"
"Then take me to the foster home. You know where it is."
"Yes miss."
She dragged the woman at gunpoint into the car.
Joker followed and was just enjoying the entire thing. It was fun to see Harley freak out, as long as he wasn't the target.
"Where do we go?" she giggled. "I want them!"
"Just go straight, then to the right on the second turn!" The woman responded in a panic.
She frowned. "I know where the police station is, Lady."
Joker started to get impatient with the woman immediately. Tricking them to go to the police station, who does she think she is. "Harley, could you get out of the car please?"
She frowned, but pulled over. "No problem, Puddin.'"
After Harley got out, insane laughter could be hear, and it was not joker's.
She peered in the window, curiously.
Joker came out with his trademark psycho grin. "After sharing a good laugh with her, she told me the real directions. Follow me Harley."
She clung to his arm, batting her lashes. "We're gonna be parents!"
Joker sighed at the thought of this. Atleast Harley wasn't going to chase him with a gun… Again.
