Plummet into Darkness
She goes into town, finds the nearest club and goes inside. Now, she can't remember the last time she set foot into a club, she's not really one to go drinking but tonight, she's had enough and she needs something to forget all the shit inside. She sits at the bar, one leg over the other hoping to become invisable.
She becomes one of those, the young ones who spend every weekend drinking their livers to death. Most of them have that casual attitude of, "you only live once" and she agrees with them, you really do only live once.
Last year she nearly died. She was stabbed in the stomach and left for dead. It still haunts her. Mostly when she thinks she's over it and the memory of being stabbed comes back to bite her in her sleep. Or a case. Sometimes a case triggers the memories.
She orders five shots, downs them impressively and orders five more. The first five don't take effect straight away nor do the next three. After the nineth shot, she feels the alcohol seeping through her veins. It's dutch courage to throw herself at any man who pays her a little bit of attention.
She only does it because since she threw Aide out, she's felt lonely. And no amount of telling herself that she prefers the single life will change the feelings inside. It gives her that rush of confidence when she throws herself at men but it disappears into guilt once their shagging session is over.
/
It's four in the morning when she's thrown out of the bar and she staggers down the empty streets. She's alone and in her drunken state, she's aware of the danger she might find herself in because Manchester isn't a nice place after all.
And she's only got one best friend to call, so she sits on a brick wall, swinging her legs; the mobile phone pressed to her ear. It's around about half four when Rachel collects her in the middle of town and takes her back to her place.
She knows Janet wouldn't want the girls to see her in such a state.
/
The first thing Janet does is run to the bathroom. She's knelt in front of the toilet, throwing up the contents of her stomach like a teenager who doesn't know their limits. Rachel's there, perched on the edge of the bath, delicately scrapping Janet's hair back into a scrunchie.
She rubs her back and Janet whispers she misses someone. Rachel doesn't ask who because she knows it's Aide.
"Done?" She asks and Jane nods, holds onto the bath and stands up. She flushes the chain before stumbling out of the bathroom and falls into the wall. As she does, she brusts out laughing. And it's that laughter that makes Rachel realise how vulnerable and fragile she looks.
It worries her because Janet's always been the strong one, the one who picks up the pieces when Rachel's having a bad day.
She goes into the spare bedroom to find Janet asleep on the covers and she smiles a little. She notes how peaceful she looks and she walks towards her. Gently taking the covers from underneath her, she tucks her up into bed and kisses her forehead.
Then she turns of the bedroom light and pulls the door closed. She goes into her bedroom, crawls into bed and thinks. She thinks about Janet and how the hell she missed the signs that her best friend wasn't as strong as she appeared.
And inside it makes Rachel feel a bit shit because best friends are supposed to be there for one another and she wasn't. And before she falls asleep, she tells herself that she'll pick up the pieces just as Janet did for her.
/
notes ― it's out of character but i don't care. reviews are love, please leave some. merci.
the ending sucks, i apologise. and no, i won't be continuing this. it's a oneshot, sorry. :3
