A/N: 63, theme. Short, SG drabble that was inspired by this beautiful comic strip here (it's three parts) - http :/zibanitu6969. deviantart .com/gallery/26576612#/d2zzqpi
I'm Sorry
Sometimes Soundwave calls him Rumble by accident.
One careless slip of the glossa, his defenses down and his mind wandering, and the word comes tumbling out.
And then, for that brief moment, the familiar, golden-colored visor lights up in joy and surprise, their linked connection sparking with a jolt, and he can see all that his master usually hides. Regret, guilt, sorrow, fear, all wrapped around one thick film of affection—a whirlwind of haunting emotions that has no place on the face of someone usually so cheerful and bright.
But then, just as quickly, Soundwave catches himself.
He apologizes, sincerity and embarrassment marring his tone. The look fades away, the glow and happiness in them fading into dark disappointment, and nothing is left but hollow words. Empty, meaningless words.
Just as careless, just as cruel, words.
"I'm sorry."
Afterwards, Soundwave's actions try to make up for the lapse. He lavishes attention on him, sending him waves of love and care through their bond, murmuring words of regret again and again. And in the end, he knows that it was just a simple mistake, born from too much repression, too much thinking and guilt, too much of missing someone so close...
But he still hates it. Hates how cruel it sounds, coming from the mouth of someone like Soundwave, who should only gift him with smiles and cheerful exclamations, not soft apologies cloaked in remorse.
Because why? he always wonders. Why apologize, when it didn't matter? Why say sorry, when it wouldn't matter? Nothing could be mended with those words. Nothing could be brought back, or taken back, with such flimsy, meaningless words.
It only serves to haunt, to remind him of how much he has lost in life. A constant mantra of things better left forgotten, memories better left unremembered, maddening, loathsome things he can't change, no matter what.
Nothing could be changed, even if he wanted it – needed it – to change.
He would still be himself and not his brother, his name would still be Frenzy instead of Rumble...
And he would never have the courage to say back to Soundwave instead, "No. I'm sorry."
