Disclaimer: We do not own PotC in any way, blah blah blah.

Elizabeth Swann- Blackiwi, Norrington/ Bea- B-emo-B, Will Turner- a muggle named Caity. Actions are in italics.

Elizabeth Swann: okay where were we...

Norrington: um.

Elizabeth Swann: Yes this is where my heart truly lies Norrie.

Norrington: So this is where your heart truly lies, then?

BAHAHAHAH

Elizabeth Swann: Yup

Norrington: bad timing...

CUT

Restart, Norry's line

Elizabeth Swann: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH

okay andddddddddd.

Norrington: So this is where your heart truly lies, then?

Elizabeth Swann: ACTION

Yes

Norrington: thud DAMMIT

Elizabeth Swann: It is Norrie

Norrington: Oops..

DONT YOU DARE PUT THAT IN THE BLOOPERS.

dammit - TAKE 3

and ACTION

So this is where your heart truly lies, then?

Elizabeth Swann: For the third time-Yes

Norrington: For the third time (in my head) DAMN YOU DAMN YOU DAMN YOU DAMN YOU DAMN YOU DAMN YOU

CHANTS DAMN YOU DAMN YOU DAMN YOU DAMN YOU DAMN YOU

crestfallen look

Elizabeth Swann: gasp

Norrington: but - but I asked first!!!

I ASKED FIRST, WILLY BOY!!

Elizabeth Swann: I don't love you like I love Will!

Will Turner: Sorry - I'm objectively really good-looking, so no wonder she picked me!

Norrington: But I love her - I'll let her be.

Elizabeth Swann: You're more like a...brother

Awww

Okay!

Norrington: takes off hat in regards

walks away And Gillette, don't talk to me.

Elizabeth Swann: Bye James. I gotta go kiss Will now.

Norrington: walks out of camera

yeah, yeah...

plods off

Elizabeth Swann: stares into Will's eyes

Will Turner: Sorry, Norrie - no hard feelings.

Elizabeth Swann: He's already gone

Will Turner: Wanna kiss now, Elizabeth?

Elizabeth Swann: Okay!

kiss

Will Turner: kisses back

Elizabeth Swann: stops

...GO AWAY DADDY!

Gov. Swann leaves

Will Turner: This is a bit awkward with your dad, Liz...

Norrington: watches sullenly

Will Turner: Thank you LORD!

Elizabeth Swann: He's gone now

kisses again

Norrington: watches on sadly

Will Turner: goes again

Elizabeth Swann: stops

Do you mind Norrie?

Norrington: turns back on couple and walks off, his vision blurring

Will Turner: pulls back

Elizabeth Swann: Thank you

Norrington: blurring with TEARS, man!

Will Turner: I feel kind of bad...

Elizabeth Swann: sigh

Will Turner: You know I love you, man!

Sorry.

Norrington: turns around HAVE COMPASSION FOR THE DYING IN HEART!!

Elizabeth Swann: WHAT?!

I'M SORRY JAMES!

Norrington: plods off

Elizabeth Swann: If that helps

Now everyone's gone!

Will Turner: I felt the same way before, so don't you pull that victim card, Norrie!

Norrington: No - no, it doesn't. runs back and jumps off parapet

hits rocks in water

Elizabeth Swann: NORRIEE!

CALL THE POLICE!

Norrington: is dead

Will Turner: It's okay - he'll come back.

I promise.

Elizabeth Swann: Are you sure?

Will Turner: Do I ever break promises?

No, I don't.

Elizabeth Swann: smiles

Will Turner: He just needs to chillax for a bit.

Elizabeth Swann: He needs to take chill pill

Norrington: I REPEAT: is dead

Elizabeth Swann: I guess he can't though

Oh I get it

Kiss of life

Will Turner: YES HE CAN. Trust me.

Stop farting around, Norrie!

Elizabeth Swann: He's doing this so I'll kiss him

Norrington: Did someone say kiss of life?

is dead

Elizabeth Swann: No way Norrie

Will Turner: That won't wake him up, Liz...

Elizabeth Swann: It did last time...

Will Turner: It WON'T this time; he's playing you.

DON'T trust him.

Elizabeth Swann: But what if he's reeeally dying

Will Turner: He's not.

Elizabeth Swann: I gotta help him Will

Will Turner: Come on, Norrie!

Elizabeth Swann: It's the right thing to do

Will Turner: Fine...

Go.

Elizabeth Swann: But I love you Will

Will Turner: Mhmm.

Elizabeth Swann: Always remember

Will Turner: Sure.

Elizabeth Swann: It's just one kiss

Will Turner: Do you know what ONE KISS can lead to?

Bad things, dear.

Norrington: Or good things, from my point of view

is dead

Elizabeth Swann: Yes, but I love YOU Will

Will Turner: Shut up.

Mhmm.

Elizabeth Swann: I would not do that to you

Will Turner: Save him if you must.

Elizabeth Swann: I better get this over with

Will Turner: Yep.

Elizabeth Swann: takes deep breath

Norrington: TOO late... I've lost breath

is dead, once and for all

Elizabeth Swann: YIPPIE!

Norrington: unwakeable

Elizabeth Swann: Now I can kiss Will instead :D

Norrington: To haunt William Turner and any of his loved ones forever

Elizabeth Swann: gulp

Will Turner: STHU Norrie. That's mean.

Elizabeth Swann: Yes, but Norrie, you see. HE LOVES ME

Will Turner: That I do.

Elizabeth Swann: You want to haunt me?

I think not

Norrington: I very much do.

Will Turner: Yes, he does.

He's childish like that.

Elizabeth Swann: Nothing I can do now

Will Turner: Grow up, Norrie.

Norrington is now Ghost of Norry

Ghost of Norry: Make me - owooo

Elizabeth Swann: Oooo scary!

Ghost of Norry: I will haunt you both - owooo

Will Turner: I'd punch you, but apparently I can't... Hmm.

Ghost of Norry: I will look at you both through windows - owooo

Will Turner: Perv!

That's wrong on so many levels.

Come on, man.

Elizabeth Swann: Mhmmm

Ghost of Norry: Shut up - owooo

Elizabeth Swann: Lets ignore him shall we?

Will Turner: YOU shut up.

Ghost of Norry: I will be the death of you both

Will Turner: Righttt.

Elizabeth Swann: Ignore him Will

Just ignore him

kisses Will

Will Turner: I can't - he's right THERE.

Elizabeth Swann: So what?

Will Turner: kisses back

Ghost of Norry: You little - ! - owoo

Will Turner: Who - me or Liz?

Elizabeth Swann: Both of us?

Ghost of Norry: Will!

Elizabeth Swann: gasp

DOBBYS SOCK NORRIE! DOBBYS SOCK

Ghost of Norry: Will has a little beepGratedCENSORon - owoo

Will Turner: Ohhh - I'm shaking now, Norrie.

:P

Elizabeth Swann: laughs

Ghost of Norry: floats back down to rocks, where Norry's body lays dead

Will Turner: Coming back to life, are you now?

Ghost of Norry: magic's body with Wingardium Leviosar

Will Turner: Thought so!

Ghost of Norry: apparates body to Bea's Bedroom

Ghost of Norry is now Bea

Bea: OMG!!

YESSSSS!!

MINE!

Bea is now Ghost of Norry

Elizabeth Swann: AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Ghost of Norry: floats up to parapet where were we, - owooo

Are you OK Elizabeth? - owooo

Will Turner: Don't talk to her.

Ghost of Norry: You are laughing very hard - owoo

Will Turner: She doesn't like you.

Ghost of Norry: I've known her longer, Will. - owoo

Will Turner: She's MINE - NOT yours!

Elizabeth Swann: So what?

Will Turner: So!

Elizabeth Swann: I've loved Will longer

:P

Ghost of Norry: Oh shut up. - owooo

I've made you laugh a lot more times than he has - owoo

Will Turner: You're like 671747473783 years older than her.

Elizabeth Swann: Haha

Will Turner: GROSS, man!

Elizabeth Swann: Thats a lot

Ghost of Norry: I am not!

Will Turner: Fine - you're only 5246153615. Happy?

Ghost of Norry: In real life, William - or should I say Orlando - I am only FOUR YEARS OLDER THAN YOU

Will Turner: Keyword: OLDER.

Ha.

Elizabeth Swann: Haha

Ghost of Norry: And Elizabeth - or should I say, Keira - is 12 years younger than me; eight years younger than you.

Elizabeth Swann: YOUNGER

Ghost of Norry: BANG - owoo

Will Turner: She's closer to my age, so ha!

Elizabeth Swann: hugs Will

Ghost of Norry: Yes but closer still, to RUPERT'S! - owoooo

Will Turner: hugs back

SO!

Don't bring him into this!

Ghost of Norry: I will!!!!

Elizabeth Swann: I LOVE WILL AND THATS FINAL

Will Turner: NO!!!

Ghost of Norry: RUPERT! RUPERT! RUPERT! RUPERT!

RUPERT!

Elizabeth Swann: Oh yeah Norrie?

Wellllllllllll

kisses Will

Will Turner: SHUT UP! shoves Norrie; kind of

kisses back

No Rupert.

No.

Ghost of Norry: You cannot shove me for I am...

Elizabeth Swann: No Rupert

Ghost of Norry: un-shove-able!!

RUPERT!RUPERT!RUPERT!

Elizabeth Swann: shoves to ground

Ghost of Norry: RUPERT! RUPERT! RUPERT! RUPERT! RUPERT! RUPERT! RUPERT! RUPERT! RUPERT!

Will Turner: That's why I said KIND OF. God, Norrie, you're such a moron!

Elizabeth Swann: YOU LIAR

Ghost of Norry: You can't shove me, I am UNSHOVEABLE

RUPERT!

RUPERT!

RUPERT!

RUPERT!

Elizabeth Swann: kisses Will

Will Turner: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!

kisses back

Ghost of Norry: RUPERT!

RUPERT!

RUPERT!

Elizabeth Swann: hugs Will

Will Turner: She likes to kiss me today, doesn't she?

And hug me.

Ha.

Ghost of Norry: WE INTERRUPT THIS PASSIONATE KISS TO BRING YOU THIS UPDATE:

RUPERT!

Will Turner: SHUT UP!

Ghost of Norry: RUPERT!

Will Turner: Stupid.

Ghost of Norry: RUPERT!

Will Turner: Meanie face.

Elizabeth Swann: YOU NEVER SAID YOU WERE UNSLAPABLE!

slaps Norrie

Ghost of Norry: INVINCIBLE!

Will Turner: He's transparent, dear.

Elizabeth Swann: Too late

Ghost of Norry: MISSED!!

INVINCIBLE!

Will Turner: Unfortunately.

Elizabeth Swann: Dran!

Will Turner: -beep-

Ghost of Norry: MR. COLLINS! MR. DARCY! RUPERT!

MR. COLLINS! MR. DARCY! RUPERT!

MR. COLLINS! MR. DARCY! RUPERT!

MR. COLLINS! MR. DARCY! RUPERT!

Will Turner: DANIEL!

Ghost of Norry: TOM HOLLANDER! MR. COLLINS! MR. DARCY! RUPERT!

Elizabeth Swann: kisses Will

Ghost of Norry: MR. COLLINS! MR. DARCY! RUPERT!

Will Turner: Thought I'd throw him in.

Ghost of Norry: RUPERT!

Daniel?

Will Turner: Pick someone new for God's sake!

Yes - Daneil.

Ghost of Norry: AHHAAHHA nobody has yet mention MICHELLE GOMEZ!

Will Turner: Daniel.

Ghost of Norry: Nobody's said...

Jude Law! Gwyneth Paltrow! Michelle Gomez!

SO I AM UNDEFEATED!!

Will Turner: Jude Law is hot!

In a totally non-gay way.

Ghost of Norry is now Bea

Bea: I wish I was Michelle

Will Turner: Yeah.

Bea: she gets to be married to Jack Davenport - it coulda been me, but NOOOOOO

Noooo

It had to be MICHELLE.

Will Turner: Sorry, hun.

:D

Bea: Or was it Maria?

Elizabeth Swann: At least you have Norries body

Bea: I forget - M.Gomez.

Bea is now Ghost of norry

Ghost of norry is now Ghost of Norry

Elizabeth Swann: Norrie!

Ghost of Norry: LOL, Tayer, isn't it like 2 am now?

Will Turner: It's Michelle.

Elizabeth Swann: Yeah

Ghost of Norry: Yeah, Michelle, thought sp.

Elizabeth Swann: For Caity it is too.

Will Turner: It almost is.

Ghost of Norry: So

Wow.

Will Turner: Yep.

Elizabeth Swann: Hey Norrie!

SotB

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Ghost of Norry: thud

Elizabeth Swann: Take THAT.

Works every time.

Will Turner: That's what you do with me! Ha.

Ghost of Norry: I meant - transparent thud

Will Turner: Nice save.

Elizabeth Swann: rolls eyes

Ghost of Norry: is unconscious

Elizabeth Swann: I love you Will :)

Will Turner: SN: Michelle is his wife; Maria is his mom.

Ghost of Norry: SN: Thought so :)

Will Turner: I love you, too:)

Ghost of Norry: SN: His dad is Nigel

Will Turner: SN: yep! lol

Elizabeth Swann: Norrie? Are you alive...or...whatever

concious

Ghost of Norry: NO.

is unconscious

Elizabeth Swann: SN: SPELLING PROBLEMS!!!

Will Turner: He can't make up his mind.

Spell stuff right, dranit!

Elizabeth Swann: sighs

Ghost of Norry: Sooo...

I give up being a ghost! I want my body back...

Elizabeth Swann: Sorry Norrie. I dunno how to bring back dead people

Ghost of Norry: apparates body back

Ghost of Norry is now Bea

Bea: NOOOOOO!

Will Turner: That always works.

Bea: WHERE DID IT GO!!

NO

Will Turner: Bye-bye, dear.

Bea is now Ghost of norry

Ghost of norry: It's mine again!

big whirly magic thing

Ghost of norry is now Norrington

Norrington: I'm alive...

Wow.

Elizabeth Swann: I love you Will!

Will Turner: See, Liz - I TOLD YOU that he'd come back.

Elizabeth Swann: kisses

Will Turner: I'm never wrong.

Norrington: SONOFA- WHY DID I HAVE TO PROVE HIM RIGHT...

walks away sullenly

Will Turner: HEHEHE.

Norrington: AAAAND CUT!!