All these characters belong to J.K. Rowling!!!!!!! (except for Marianne) And please do not write reviews saying it doesn't make sense…it's not SUPPOSED TO MAKE SENSE!!!! And Teltubbies belong to the people who made them up. And Barney belongs to whomever he belongs to. Got it? DON'T SUE ME!

************************************************

Madam Pomfrey looked at Harry and Ron with curiosity in her eyes. They had been in many accidents before but this was the strangest. They had purple blotches all over them!

        "I know," said Harry. "It's a long story,"

        "I have no time for long stories," said Madam Pomfrey, looking for something to help them.

        Ron did not start a long story, but simply held out a splotched arm and said, "It was Barney!"

        "Barney," said Madam Pomfrey. "This has nothing to do with Barney; these must be the side effects of the bite of a radioactive cow!"

        "No, this is the work of a purple Teletubbie! They're crazy, dude!" argued Harry.

        "Assistant, what do you think?" Madam Pomfrey asked to her faithful assistant, Marianne.

        "Personally, I think it was that Purple Anaconda thing outside!" she said, staring out the window and pointing at a large anaconda.

        "NO, NO, NO, IT WAS BARNEY!" shouted Ron.

        "It was that purple Teletubbie!" insisted Harry.

        "BARNEY!" Ron screamed again.

        "ENOUGH!" shouted Madam Pomfrey. "It was a radioactive cow, and that's that. I have just the thing…"

        "It was the Purple Anaconda!" said Marianne. "I have just the thing for that…"

        The arguing went on and on, into the night, when Professor Dumbledore finally appeared.

        "I saw the whole thing," he said "It was nothing of which you speak. I was there. I was bit." Professor Dumbledore rolled up his sleeve and extended his arm, which was full of purple splotches. "It was a GREEN Teletubbie!"

        "Close enough!" chirped Harry with a smirk on his face.

        "I guess. But who knew you guys were chilling with Teletubbies?" asked Marianne.

        "It's a long story…" said Dumbledore.

        "We can hear long stories later," said Madam Pomfrey. "I need to give you all medicine…"

        The next morning, Dumbledore woke everyone up and started the tale.

        "I was walking down to breakfast with Professor Snape in the dungeons, when a green Teletubbie came out of nowhere and bit me. Snape ran out of the way just in time and didn't get bit…"

        "I wouldn't be too sure of that," said a voice behind them. It was Snape! He held out his arm full of purple blotches. "I need medical attention!"

        Marianne rushed over and made him drink a bottle full of yucky green stuff, just like she did to the other patients.

        "Thank you," said Snape and continued the story.

        "I was in my office when the evil green Teletubbie appeared and it threw my desk against the wall. I was really livid, so I chased it and it got furious too…and it bit me." Snape took out a hankie and blew his nose. "It was horrible…pain you couldn't imagine…"

        "Well, my story is…it bit me," said Harry.

        "That's my story too…except I swear it was Barney!" said Ron.

        "Yeah, yeah, Weasly, that's what they all say!" shouted Snape. " Five points from Gryffindor!"

        "Aw, man!" said Ron.

        "Is that all you can say?" whispered Harry. "Last time he did that you called him a…"

        "OK, I think that's enough!" shouted Marianne.

        "Those were your long stories?" scoffed Madam Pomfrey. "Well, you are all free to leave…"

        So everyone left, arguing about who was right.

        "Honestly, Marianne…" sighed Madam Pomfrey "I'm getting too old for this sort of thing…"

THE END.

Adopted from a story by Mrs. Coopersmith's 6th grade class…

Although it was not about Harry Potter…