You know he doesn't love you. You see the way he looks at the little mundie (because you refuse to accept she's a Shadowhunter) and you know that your times running out. It's pathetic really, the way you feel because you're Isabelle Lightwood and you're supposed to be invincible. But you can't help but love him and you've fallen downdowndown.
Magnus knows. He knows how you feel towards your adopted brother, and he sympathises with you because your stupidstupid actual brother can't see what's right in front of him. So you go shopping together and suddenly he's your new best friend. It helps.
You know how Simon feels and you wish you could love him back, like he deserves to be loved because even though Jace let you fall, maybe just maybe, Simon will catch you. So you date him but it doesn't feel right, not when your imagining he's Jace, it's not fair. So you don't mind when he picks Maia because Maia loves him and Simon deserves to be loved.
You wish you could tell Alec how you feel, but you can't because it would break his heart and he's your brother and you don't want to hurt him. So you don't tell him and you keep it to yourself.
So you give up on Jace because it'll never work- even you have to admit that. But one night (a couple of weeks after he finds out he and the mundie are related) he corners you in the hallway on the way to bed and you can smell the alcohol on him but that doesn't matter. What matters is the way he's looking at you and then he's kissing you and you don't have the heart to stop him (even though he let you fall). He whispers your name, and why does it have to sound so good?
Afterwards, you lay in your bed and cry your heart out because he's using you and the worst part is- you don't even care because for a moment he was yours. You know it's pathetic but you still love him.
So when he finds out that the mundie isn't his sister, you aren't surprised he leaves you but your heart breaks just a little more.
But you're Isabelle Lightwood and you're supposed to be invincible, so you keep quiet and ignore the pitying looks Magnus sends you and the way your heart flutters when he's near.
Because you know he doesn't love you.
