So I recently got a plot bunny for a Phoebe/Ralphie Friendship oneshot and started writing and couldn't stop. Plus Phoebe angst it always fun to write.

Pairings: Ms.Tenelli/Mr.Terese, Wanda/Arnold, Onesided Phoebe/Arnold, Ralphie/Wanda

Enjoy!


Phoebe shifted her toes inside her tight red heels, the tips of which were pinching her feet together very painfully. She was dying to sit down and just take them off, but restrained herself. She really liked the shoes, and thought they hid the size of her large feet quite nicely, despite the pain the caused. And anyways, the hurt on her feet was much less than the one in front of her.

She was in one of her oldest friend's backyard, and had just seated herself in an unstable lawn chair resting on the grass. Her hands were folded on her knees; the bottom of her knee length red dress was fluttering slightly in the light summer breeze. She was a guest and maid of honor at her father's wedding, and was watching him, arms held tight and comfortably on his new brides waist as the two of them danced.

It wasn't the fact that her father had now remarried that was bothering her. She hadn't seen him this happy since her mother died six years ago. The grin he'd had on his face ever since he'd slipped the ring on Ralphie's mother's left index finger still hadn't left him. He looked so happy dancing with her that it made Phoebe smile and feel happy again. No, it definitely wasn't the fact he had remarried.

It was the couple dancing close to the newly weds that distressed her so. Two of her closest and oldest friends were swaying slowly to the music together, and the sight put such a tight knot in her stomach; Phoebe had to put her hors d'œuvre back onto the table.

Wanda was wearing a dark green dress that fell just past her knees and went just up to her bustline. It showed off Wanda's figure perfectly, and her shoes made her look much taller than she was; she was still at least a head shorter than Arnold though.

Phoebe felt her throat go tight. He looked so handsome today... She had always thought Arnold cleaned up nice. He was wearing a dark brown suit, and his hair, as orange and curly as ever, looked so nice. Phoebe would have done anything for the chance to run her hands through it and... and...

Her thoughts trailed off and she blinked and shook her head. It would never happen. Not now. It was all too obvious he didn't feel the same way about her as she did him. She had been dancing with him the song previous. It was absolute heaven to her. Her stomach had jumped excitedly when he placed his large, strong hand on her waist and taken her other hand with his left. She had been worried he'd say something about how sweaty her hands had gotten, but he didn't. He just smiled at her and lead her to the music. The song ended too soon and before she knew it, Wanda had replaced her as his partner. The live band had chosen another slow song.

Arnold was dancing differently with Wanda than he had with Phoebe. Arnold had danced with Phoebe how Tim was now dancing with Keesha. Just a hand politely on the waist, no other close contant. A pleasant smile on the face.

Arnold and Wanda's stomachs were touching, pressed close together. Both of Arnold's arms were wrapped around her waist as he held her close, and her arms in turn were wrapped tightly around him as if they were stuck in some tender hug. They were swaying slower than the music being played, and her cheek was resting lightly on his chest, her eyes closed.

Phoebe quickly looked away. The sight was almost too much to stomach. She felt sick. It'd been years since she'd gotten her crush on Arnold - seven years to be exact. Ever since the third grade. Seven years she had been praying he'd forget Wanda and fall for her instead. And - Phoebe blinked back tears as she looked back up at the two.

Wanda's head was no longer resting on his chest, but looking up into his eyes, behind his glasses, instead. There was a gentle smile on her face, rarely seen on Wanda. Arnold was not smiling, but Phoebe saw his lips part, and could, even from where she was sitting, see the excitement and hopefulness in his brown eyes. Her head began to tilt up, and his head began to tilt down, and Phoebe jumped up suddenly, dropping her champagne glass on the grass as she did so.

She couldn't watch anymore; she had to get out of here. There was a slight prickling in the corner of her eyes, but she felt more sick than sad.

Hardly feeling the pain in her feet as her heels pinched the toes, Phoebe hurried past the crowd of people standing around the dance floor chatting merrily and laughing joyously. It felt impossible that these people could be so happy around her when she was so miserable.

Phoebe burst through the sliding glass doors of Ralphie's house into the kitchen. Her presence wasn't noticed by any of the people jostled about in there; all gathered around the bowl of punch sitting on the kitchen table. Phoebe just wanted to get away from all the noise and happy banter. She exited the kitchen, turned a sharp left up the carpeted stairs, and hurried off down the hallway on the second floor.

She passed the room that was soon to be hers (the door had been left open and Phoebe had spotted Arnold's cousin Janet on the bed inside making out rather passionately with someone who looked like a relative of Ralphie's) and almost ran the length of the hallway to the door at the very end. She burst through the door, took four running steps, and collapsed on the bed inside, her face buried in the comforter.

She did not cry, however it felt like her insides were burning, and Phoebe gripped the covers on the bed tightly with her hands and took deep, gasping breaths as she tried to calm herself down. She lay there for only a few seconds before rolling over onto her back and sitting up. She reached down to pull her shoes off and flung them angrily across the room. Phoebe lifted her legs up and wrapped her arms around them, resting her chin on her knees, and stared outside of Ralphie's window mindlessly.

It overlooked the front yard and the road before it. There was no one on the grass below. Just a lot of cars parked on the side of the street. Phoebe breathed in deeply and then back out; the sight soothed her and calmed her down somewhat. She only managed to sit there for a few more seconds, before the door to Ralphie's room burst open.

Phoebe jumped and just managed to stifle a shriek. Ralphie was standing in the doorway, looking at her a little surprised himself.

"Phoebe? What are you doing here? I saw you run off - "

"I'm fine," Phoebe said quickly, looking away from him. "I - I just wanted to get away from all the noise for a few minutes." She fell silent for a moment, and continued to gaze out the window. "Why are you here?"

"It's my room," Ralphie said. "I can be in here whenever I want!" He sounded as though she had just accused him of something. But Phoebe thought the opposite to his response.

"Fine," she stood up. "I'll go..."

"What - no!" Ralphie looked confused. "I didn't mean I didn't want you here. Just - sit down. Seriously what's wrong. You just stormed off there..." He sounded concerned, but he wasn't even looking at her anymore. He had turned to the mirror above his desk and started loosening his tie. Phoebe slumped back onto the bed.

"Nothing..." she said quietly. It wasn't as though Ralphie would care much, or offer any words of comfort. It was never Ralphie's sort of thing.

"What, are you that upset we're now brother and sister - in - law?" Ralphie tossed his tie onto his desk and started unbuttoning the jacket of his suit. "Look, I thought it was weird too, but there's nothing we can do about it and anyways - "

"It's not that, Ralphie," Phoebe said. "I couldn't be happier daddy's finally found someone like your mother..."

Ralphie sat down next to Phoebe on the bed. The mattress groaned and sank an a few inches. "Then what?"

Phoebe didn't answer. When she didn't, Ralphie spoke up again. "If you're not going to tell me, can I guess?"

"Um... sure...?" Phoebe raised an eyebrow. Like he could ever guess... She'd never told anyone about her crush on Arnold, not even Keesha, her best friend for seven years.

"Was it because Arnold finally got his long desired kiss from Wanda?"

Phoebe was too shocked to find the words as horrible as they were. Even though Ralphie couldn't have put it in a worse way. "W - what?! How - how'd you know! I - I've never told anyone!"

"You didn't?" Ralphie looked confused. "Well, we've been talking about it for years - "

"Wait, what?!" Phoebe gasped desperately. "What do you mean 'you'?!"

"Not with Arnold!" Ralphie said quickly. "Just - I dunno! Keesha was always talking to me about it and how cute it was and all that crap back in the fourth grade..."

"Well stop talking about me behind my back!" Phoebe said, suddenly feeling quite outraged. "You have no right to - "

"Hey, calm down," Ralphie said quickly, backing up slightly at the look Phoebe was giving him. "It wasn't just me! And, er - to tell you the truth, Arnold with Wanda kind of bothered me too..."

Phoebe felt suddenly calmer, but also even more confused. Ralphie had turned away from her. His hands were loosely folded on his knees, slightly spread apart, and he was staring down at the carpet. "It did?"

Ralphie nodded and Phoebe saw him swallow. "Yeah..." his voice suddenly very scratchy and quiet. He shrugged. "I dunno... Really. Seriously, it was always me giving him all the advice on how to get Wanda - and Carlos."

"Well it worked," Phoebe said miserably, bringing her knees up to her chin again.

"It's just - God - Wanda - " he turned to look at her.

"Don't tell me you like her too," Phoebe groaned. "She has every guy at Walkerville Secondary after her."

Ralphie turned away again. "Erm - no... I don't..."

"You're lying!" Phoebe accused.

Ralphie suddenly looked determined. "Well, why do you think it's so bad! Me liking her I mean!"

"Sorry," Phoebe said quickly. "I just - I really don't want to talk about her right now." She really didn't like where this conversation had headed. Here she had come to forget about the whole mess and horror of what she'd seen in the garden, and now she was being forced to relive the event over and over again in her mind. She felt her throat get tight and she tried to swallow.

Ralphie didn't reply. He shifted restlessly beside her, and brought his legs up so that he could sit cross legged on the bed. Phoebe saw a hole in one of his white socks; his big toe was sticking out.

Phoebe blinked. She loved Wanda like a sister. They had been close friends for so many years. There had always been that growing fear that one day she'd return Arnold's feelings... but now that it had happened... Phoebe really didn't know what to do with herself. Just the thought of them sitting in Carlos' living room or hanging out in the park as usual, with Wanda curled up cosily in Arnold's lap... Her stomach burned again at the thought, and this time she couldn't help but let a few tears flow.

She had completely forgotten Ralphie was there, but only jumped very slightly when she felt his hand graze her back lightly. It felt unsure at first, but eventually Ralphie put his whole arm around Phoebe and started rubbing her arm. Phoebe let out a small sob and buried her face into Ralphie's side. She felt him pat her back awkwardly. This sort of thing wasn't Ralphie's territory, but she couldn't help it.

Her uncontrolled sobs stopped after a few minutes and Phoebe adjusted her head so that her cheek was now resting on Ralphie's side. She felt a lot calmer all of a sudden. As well as slightly embarrassed. It now became clear to her, that despite the fact her and Ralphie were always hanging out, there were few instances when it was just him and her alone. Even fewer where they would discuss things as private and personal as this. If Phoebe ever felt upset about something, Ralphie would have been the last person she would have run to.

Ralphie was good for laughs. Hearing him talk excitedly to Wanda and Carlos about some new crazy scheme always amused Phoebe. He tried to act tough, but even Phoebe knew she was braver than he was. Well, at least she'd go on the roller coasters at Walkerville's amusement park at any rate...

"Are - are you okay?" Ralphie broke the silence. He sounded very uncomfortable, but he hadn't removed his arm from around her and Phoebe felt it tense up.

"No..." Phoebe said quietly, pulling away. Ralphie dropped his arm. "But thanks.."

"You don't think it's permanent do you?" Ralphie said. Phoebe noticed it wasn't in the form of a question.

"What, what do you mean? He's liked her for ages..."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean she feels the same way..." Ralphie said slowly. "You - um - you want a tissue...?"

Phoebe hadn't even realized her nose was running. She quickly nodded, flushing slightly and took the Kleenex Ralphie pulled from the box on his bedside table. "Thanks.." she said, and blew her nose.

"Anyway... I - I really think, that - well that this won't last long..." Ralphie said. He wasn't looking at her anymore, back onto the ground. "You know Wanda... I talked to her recently about this actually.."

"About what?" Phoebe said, her voice sounding very stuffy.

"Well she asked me if I knew if Arnold liked her," Ralphie said, turning back to her. "And I said ask him. That was the last time I talked to her..." he paused, sounding a little down. "It could just be all this wedding stuff going on.. Wanda hasn't had a boyfriend for a month..." He stopped again.

"You've got my Therese luck," Phoebe said grimly. "Bad luck..."

"No," Ralphie smirked. "It's Tenelli now. And I'm lucky! I have a four leaf clover somewhere in my closet!"

Phoebe smiled, and her eyes couldn't help but shift to his closet for a second, before looking back. "So you're really my brother now I guess..."

"Brother - in - law," Ralphie reminded her. "So you know, it's not incest if you ever want to stop over in my room one night and - ah!"

Ralphie toppled over the edge of the bed and jumped up spluttering. "Phoebe! You pushed me!"

"You deserve it, you pervert!" Phoebe crossed her arms.

"I think I hit my head too!" Ralphie said, moving over to his mirror so that he could examine any damage in the mirror.

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in," Ralphie answered, turning away from the mirror. Phoebe quickly glanced in it and saw, with a dread, that her eyes still looked red. But there was nothing she could do about it now, she turned towards the door too and saw Carlos poke his head in.

"Hey, what are you two doing up here? Your uncle says they're about to do the garter and bouquet toss."

"Yeah, be right there," Ralphie answered. Carlos stepped in the room, Phoebe hoped he wouldn't notice her eyes.

"How come you're not downstairs?" Dorothy Ann came in behind Carlos.

"Just felt like being alone for a bit," Ralphie answered. Phoebe saw Carlos raise an eyebrow and glance at DA, but by the look DA was returning, she seemed to think that whatever he was thinking was preposterous.

"So how does it feel to be brother and sister?" Carlos asked, leaning against the doorframe casually. Dorothy Ann sat down next to Phoebe on the bed.

Ralphie shrugged. "Fine.. I guess... It'll be weirder when she moves in I suppose..." he nodded at Phoebe.

"I've come to terms with it," Phoebe assured, speaking for the first time since the intrusion. She stood up. "Come on, let's go back downstairs." She saw Ralphie give her a brief, curious glance, but Carlos and DA didn't seem to have noticed.

"Alright," Carlos said, opening the door again. DA jumped up from the bed to follow. When the two were outside, Phoebe stood up and walked over to Ralphie. She took his hand. "They're playing a fast song now anyways..." she said.

"I'm coming right back up here if I see Wanda kissing Arnold again," Ralphie said, gripping her hand.

"Right back at you," Phoebe said, and the two walked out the door together, after Dorothy Ann and Carlos.

The same fast song Phoebe had heard in Ralphie's bedroom was still being played when they reached the yard again. "Wanna dance?" Ralphie asked. Neither of them had spotted Wanda or Arnold on their way down. Carlos and Dorothy Ann had disappeared somewhere together as well.

"But I can't dance fast..." she hesitated.

"Phoebe, I've seen you make a fool of yourself more times than you can count," Ralphie sighed. "Just come on, sis."

"If you never call me that again," Phoebe agreed, and followed him onto the dance area.

"You know, when Wanda dumps Arnold for me," Ralphie started, taking both her hands in his, "I swear Arnold's going to notice you eventually."

Phoebe rolled her eyes. "You don't have to tell me lies like that to make me feel better." She paused as Ralphie lifted her arm so she could do a spin.

"No I mean it," Ralphie said. " He told me a while back that he thought you were always the easiest girl to talk to. No really," he said when he saw Phoebe's skepticism. "He likes how you don't freak out over every little thing like Wanda does. And," he added, "When he saw you come downstairs today in that red dress you're wearing, he choked on his drink and spat it out all over Carlos."

Phoebe studied Ralphie's face carefully. It wasn't carrying that normally sly look; it looked earnest. She felt her ears redden as she was reminded. She wouldn't have noticed Arnold doing that, because as soon as she was halfway down the steps, she had spotted Arnold looking so painfully cute in his brown suit, that she had stumbled over her shoes, tripped, and fallen down the rest of the stairs.

Phoebe suddenly grinned; a burst of hope filling her previously miserable insides. "Thanks Ralphie," she said before throwing her arms around him and pulling him into a hug.

Ralphie didn't reply right away, but returned the hug. "Your welcome."

The two of them stayed in the hug until the song ended, until they had to get off the grassy area meant for dance to make room for the bouquet toss. Phoebe would have never thought that before today Ralphie could actually make her feel better about something like this. But she had never appreciated his friendship with her until now, and couldn't be happier that the two were now family.

Phoebe smiled and took the seat next to Ralphie, watching the newlyweds making their way into the center of the yard, feeling suddenly happier than she had all day. She trusted Ralphie in being right, and did not think he'd let her down with this. She was filled with a new sort of hope that everything would make itself alright in the end.


This might be the last thing I write for awhile, as I'm going away on vacation soon. I'll try to update my other story as soon as possible though.

Reviews are good :)