"It's always nice being wanted. Even if it's by the wrong person." ~ Tabitha Suzama
Prologue:
"I HATE YOU!" I scream down the stairs at Paul.
"Hate is an ugly word Bella, you shouldn't use it" he scolded me, walking up a couple of steps towards me.
"Newsflash! YOU'RE NOT MY DAD!"
I ran to my bedroom and slammed the door, jumping on my bed. I stay out past curfew and he grounds me? I WAS 5 MINUTES LATE!
"Bella." He ground out through gritted teeth. "I know I'm not your dad but you are 14 for bob's sake! It's my job to look after you."
"Ugh!" I groan burying my head under my pillow.
"Ugh!" He mocks me, walking away. I threw my biology book at the door.
4 years later
"Bella, I've got patrol. Do you want to go hang with someone?" Paul shouted up the stairs.
"Yeah, see you later." I called down. The door slammed, letting me know that Paul was gone. I smiled. I didn't like Paul any more now, at the grand age of 18 then I did a tender 14 years of age. The only difference was, I learned to be civil, to be indifferent. The truth was, I just didn't feel anything around him, I knew I was supposed to because he imprinted on me. But I didn't.
I couldn't decide who to visit, Paul usually patrolled with Jared, and so he was out of the question. Quil would be with Claire, Sam with Emily and Embry with Angela. That left… Leah, or Jacob. I hadn't talked to Jacob since we were six. Leah hates me. I chose Jacob, he was the safest bet.
I walked over to his house, I knew he was alone there since Billy passed away so maybe he'd be glad of the company? I got to the front door and pushed it open not bothering to knock, walking in like I owned the place.
"Jacob?" I called out, wandering into the living room.
Heavy foot falls in the hall, let me know he was coming. I turned to see him stood in the door way, doing a double take.
"Isabella Swan? What are you doing here?" He asked with a strange formality.
"Call me Bella, and I just wanted to… catch up?" I didn't mean for it to sound like a question, but somehow it did.
"After 12 years?" Jacob asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah…" I trailed off. This idea was seeming worse and worse by the second.
"Okay," he shrugged, "Long time no see Baby Bells." And just like that I knew he'd forgiven me.
"You're only a week older than me" I reminded him.
"Thus meaning I have licence to baby you all I want," he grinned smugly.
"I'm not six anymore Jake," I snorted.
"I can see that," he told me, giving me a quick once over, "Paul must be very proud."
"I'm sure he is," I replied tersely. He raised an eye brow, trying to get me to elaborate, but I wasn't in a sharing mood. After brief, yet still awkward silence, he offered to show me a car he was working on. It was an offer I was more than grateful for.
"So… this is your thing right? Fixing cars?" I asked, trying to think of something to say that would make me sound like I knew anything about it. Sadly, my knowledge was greatly lacking, so I gave up on that little endeavour.
"I guess, yeah," he agreed.
"You spend a lot of time in here I see," I nodded towards the empty pizza boxes that littered every available flat surface.
"You got a problem with that Swan?" Jake challenged, playfully.
"Nope," I grinned, "the dirt is actually kind of refreshing." Paul was so anal about cleaning I swear I could eat off the carpet in that house.
"Paul too clean for you?" He chuckled. Paul's OCD was clearly well known by the pack.
"Only a little," I nonchalantly replied.
"A little?" Jake gasped, faking incredulity, "You Bella, are in desperate need of being dirtied up."
"What are you doing?" I asked, confused as he walked over to his work bench.
"Just getting the oil," he replied casually. Too casually.
"That oil had better be for the car," I warned, feeling more than a little suspicious.
"Sure it is Bells, sure it is," Jake nodded amiably, walking towards the beaten up hunk of metal. He spun so quickly I had no time to react. The next thing I knew the whole can of oil had been emptied over my head, and was running down my neck into my shirt.
"You stupid, fast, annoying, dog!" I seethed, wiping the grease from my eyes.
"What's wrong Baby Bella?" he teased, "too much dirt for you to handle?"
"I'll show you too much dirt," I threatened, stalking towards him.
"Hey now, don't be angry. This is a good look on you," he complimented, whilst backing away from me.
"Oh really?" I snorted. Jake's back hit the car and I pounced, wrapping my arms around his shoulders, sharing the 'good look' with him.
"See? Now you look as good as I do."
I took a step back to admire my handy work, however, I was disappointed to find that the oil had little to no effect on Jacobs black shirt, but my white one might as well have not been there. I blushed a little turning my back to Jake. Wearing a black bra with a white top was bound to land me in an awkward situation like this at some point.
"Aw, don't be embarrassed Bella. We used to bath together, right?"
"I certainly hope you didn't" Paul's loud voice echoed in the tiny garage.
"Well actually, yes we did." I turned to face Paul with my arms across my chest. Paul's face flushed red, as a small growl escaped.
"Home. Now." He shouted, pointing to the garage door.
"Yes mom." I sneered at him, before mouthing a quick sorry to Jacob.
"I'll deal with you later." Paul paused to threaten Jacob, then hurried after me, stripping off his shirt and passing it to me.
"You do that Paul!" Jake shouted after us. Heaven help him.
"Home is this way Paul" I reminded him as he turned around. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, and led me home. I pushed open the front door and leapt in the shower, then I headed into the kitchen and opened the fridge, starting to make dinner before I got into another fight with Paul.
"Bella." Paul sighed, moving towards me. I continued to ignore him and went about chopping the vegetables.
"I'm sorry, I know I've upset you. Please just talk to me?"
"No" I moved to the cupboards to find a pan.
"I've never had an imprint before, and I'll never have one after you, so you have to give me a chance. I messed up, okay? Be nice?"
"I'm being as nice as I can be."
"Well, I'd settle for a smile?" I grimaced at him.
…..
It had been a long week. I hadn't seen Jacob since the Monday Paul patrolled last, and after what felt like eternity, Monday had finally come around again.
"I'm going now, bye!" Paul called from the kitchen. I smiled, running to my room and changing clothes. I put on my favourite dark blue skinny jeans, white vest and black leather jacket with gold studs. I applied some eyeliner, mascara and lipstick and headed over to Jake's. His house was only down the street, so I was there in seconds. Yet again, I neglected to knock; walking in and heading straight to the living room.
"Bella?" Jacob called from the door way, I turned around to face him. I wish I hadn't. He had clearly just got out the shower, with just a towel wrapped around his waist. I blushed, turning away.
"I need to start knocking." I cringed.
"No point, I've answer the door naked before."
"You what?" I screeched, horrified.
"Just kidding! Relax! I'm going to get dressed, be back in a minute" he winked, before turning and walking to his room. After my palpitations stopped, I went to the back door, and stared out into the garden that I vaguely remember from past summers spent with Charlie before he died whilst investigating an 'animal attack' out in Port Angles. It was bizarre, seeing it after all these years. Memories came flooding back to me, of happier, carefree days.
"Bewa! Bewa! Look out, the evil troll is coming!" Little (but bigger than me) Jacob cried in dismay. I gasped, running to Jake.
"We have to climb the tree houwse! It's the ownly way!" He declared, much to our father's amusement. He ran on ahead of me, nimbly climbing up the ladder with ease. Then there was me at the bottom, not able to reach the next step.
"J-J! Help me!" I screamed.
"I on my way Bewa!" He shouted, climbing back down. He lifted me up, so I could reach and stayed below me on the ladder in case I fell. We reached the tree house, and both gave excited squeals of delight.
"We did it J-J" I laughed, giving him a hug.
"I will always rescue you Bewa" He announced, hugging me closer.
"Do you remember the games we used to play?" Jacob shocked me by appearing by my side.
"Yeah," I answered still in the memory.
"You up for it?"
"For what?" I asked, confused.
"Bella! Bella! Paul is coming!" Jacob joked playfully, sliding the door open and running out into the grass. I play along, gasping and running to his side.
"We have to make a mess in the tree house, it might just kill him!" Jake goofed around, making me laugh. He grabbed hold of my hand and towed me to the ladder.
"You first." He told me, all but pushing me up, we got to the top and collapsed in a heap.
"We did it Jake." I smiled at him, wrapping my arms around him.
"We certainly did Baby B" he answered, resting his head on my shoulder.
…...
I snuck home and showered before Paul could get back and miss me, putting my clothes in the wash. I had dinner in the oven, and the dishes were already done. I was happy.
"Did ya' miss me?" Paul called out from the doorway. I gave him a look, and shook my head.
"No not really."
"I could make you miss me?" He asked walking over to me and giving me a wink. I turned my back to him and pretended to check the dinner.
"Not interested."
"Are you ever going to be?"
"How about no?"
"You do realise that you're the only woman I'll ever love? We're destined to be together." He grabbed my arm and pulled me in for a hug. I felt kind of guilty, but I'd never let it show.
"I do know, yes."
"Then why do you hate me so much?"
"I don't hate you, I just…" I didn't know what to say.
"Is there someone else?" Anger and hurt filled his voice, I pulled away from him. How dare he? He had no right to be angry at me if there was someone else! What happened to 'an imprint is whatever you need them to be?' Did I need and asshole?
"Yes, anyone else Paul. Anyone else who treats me like a person and not property!" I ran for the front door, locking it behind me giving me a five second head start. I ran for Jacobs, heading straight for his room. I flung the door open and threw myself on the end of his bed.
He dropped the book he was reading, and picked me up, cradling me in his arms. I broke down in tears, as Jacob tried to soothe me.
"Hey, hey! What's this about?"
"Paul. He's such a jerk." I tried to stop crying.
"That he is… What did he do? Do you wanna talk about it?" Jake asked as he wiped away my tears.
"No, no… I just needed to see you." I relaxed into him, giving a small smile.
"You're welcome here at all hours, in fact, do you need somewhere to stay?"
"No, no. Thank-you, he'd break your doors down and I can't do that,"
"You think I care?" Jacob held me firmer.
"BELLA!" Paul yelled, walking down the hallway. I sent Jacob a desperate look, before getting up.
"That would be my ticket home." I sighed.
"You don't have to go?" he offered, his expression concerned.
"Thanks," I left his room to meet a red faced Paul.
"What were you doing in there?" he growled.
"Nothing!"
"Right, right… Get yourself home right now!"
"What are you doing?"
"Teaching Jacob a lesson."
"No! He's not done anything wrong, he's only doing your job for you!" I stomped my foot.
"What did you say?" He growled at me.
"Nothing. Just take me home already." I seethed, pushing him towards the door. Jacob stood in the door way, growling and shaking.
"Fine." He swept my legs out from under me and carried me home, glaring at Jacob through the thick walls. I'd never felt so smothered in my life. He kicked open the front door, nearly taking it off its hinges. He kicked it shut behind us, throwing me onto the couch with a growl.
"You will not see him again!" His whole body shook as he fought against the phase.
"Yes I will! Because he is my friend!" I stood up, staring him down.
"Do as your told Bella." He warned, his eyes turning amber.
"No!" I turned away from him, intending to storm off to my room when he caught my arm in his hand and pulled me against his chest.
"You are mine, don't think he can change that. You'll always be mine." He crushed his lips to mine possessively. I couldn't do a thing to stop him, I was helpless. I struggled with him, for the first time in my life feeling scared of him. He'd always restrained himself around me, but now I found my boots were too big. He pulled back, his eyes still a feral yellow and chest still shaking. I started shaking too, biting my lip as I tried not to cry.
"Paul?" I sobbed pathetically, backing off from him. His eyes instantly turned back to their normal brown as he stopped shaking.
"Shit." He cussed, looking at me. "Bella…" He pulled me against his chest once more, gently rubbing my back as he cooed to me. For now I caved in, letting him comfort me as he pulled me onto his lap on the couch. I swore to myself, when I left Phil's house I'd never feel that helpless again. That I'd never feel so insignificant and weak. But I still felt it. After all this time, I thought I was over it, but I wasn't. I was back there, a little girl again, whimpering behind the couch as he shouted.
I hated Paul for making me feel like that again. I knew I would never be his, not after that.
A week later
"And you promise you won't go to Jacobs?" Paul checked with me desperately before he left for patrol.
"I promised five times!"
"Okay… I'll be back in a couple hours." He leant forwards as if to give me a kiss goodbye, and the realised we didn't do that and left. After ten minutes, I ran over to Jacobs walking straight in.
"Bells? So you survived! I thought I'd have to come and get you." He joked, but I could tell he meant it. He wrapped his arms around me, lingering for a moment longer than normal.
"Yeah, you'd have to climb in my bedroom window." I smiled.
"I would if you wanted me to." He pulled back, one hand on my shoulder, our eyes meeting for a moment.
"Of course! You've always rescued me from evil trolls." We both burst out laughing. Moving into the garage together.
"So… This car looks… Like a car… Okay, you're gonna have to teach me how to do stuff with cars," I cringed.
"Sure, sure. You see this? This is…" I zoned out, nodding and smiling every now and then. It was nice though, everything seemed so easy with Jake.
"You get it?" He asked, clearly assuming I understood a word he was saying.
"Um… Maybe?" I nodded studiously.
"Ah you're full of crap Bells," He ruffled my hair playfully. "Can you hold this?" He pass me a small cap.
"Sure, sure." I smiled, watching as he worked on the car.
"So… How's the ass hat doing?"
"Ass hat?"
"Yeah, um… I mean Paul. I bet he gave you a hard time." He looked at me uneasily.
"Well he's angry… but isn't he always? I don't really speak to him much."
"You're kidding right? You live with him, but you don't speak? I thought you were his girlfriend or something!" He elbowed be jokingly.
"In his dreams." I snorted. Jake raised an eyebrow, smiling slightly.
"Sweet. I never liked that whole imprinting thing anyway." He shuddered. "Don't you think we should all have the choice?" He asked lightly, watching for my reaction.
"I seriously think the worst thing you can ever do is take away someone's choices." I passed him back the cap as he motioned for me to pass it to him.
"I'm glad I'm not the only one." He passed me a can of oil.
"How do you do that? I mean… you just always so the right thing."
"Because I'm all knowing, and in my infinite immortal wisdom I… read your mind." He paused for a moment, pressing his fingers against his temples as he was reading my mind right then.
"Stop it!" I laughed, whipping him with an oil rag.
"Hmm… Oh Bella… You really need to listen to your conscience, and it says buy Jacob Chocolate." He grinned cheekily.
"Oh does it now?" I giggled.
"It does, it also says, there's 5 dollars on the shelf in the hall,"
"Okay, I'll be back."
"Thank you Bella," he wrapped an arm around my shoulder, before letting me go. I walked down the street to the tiny off licence and grabbed a chocolate bar for him, walking back quickly.
"Here you go," I threw it to him, smiling as he caught it easily.
"Here have some." He threw half the bar at me, chuckling as I leapt up to catch it.
"Thanks." I leant on the side of the car.
"Jacob?" A male voice shouted from outside the garage.
"Shit," Jake bit his lip.
"Who is that?" I mouthed.
"Sam." He mouthed back. "Go, back door!"
I tiptoed out of the back door, making my way home as quickly as possible.
I was about to cross the street when I ran into someone…
"Bella? What are you doing?" Thank god it was Sam and not Paul.
"I was um… Walking. In the woods. And stuff… Um… What are you doing?" I redirected.
"Paul asked me to check on you." He nodded, taking a deep breath through his nose.
"He did?" I seethed.
"You weren't walking were you?" he sighed.
"No I wasn't… But I didn't do anything wrong!" I grumbled.
"Shit… Um well, go home and shower before Paul get back. Please don't let me find you with Jacob again." he shook his head at me condescendingly, walking off without so much as a goodbye.
"Ugh!" I kicked a can across the street before taking Sam's advice. Once more, I had dinner in the oven by the time Paul got home.
"Hey," He greeted, coming in the front door. I pretended he wasn't there.
"Hello? Bella?" He appeared behind me a little too fast for my human senses.
"What do you want?" I mumbled childishly.
"How about a hello when I come home?" He suggested, reaching around me to grab a beer from the fridge.
"Hello! I'm robot Bella, nice to see ya' honey!" I chimed in a too-sweet tone, a feigned smile clear to see.
"Grow up Bella." He growled, storming off into his study.
"Whatever." I huffed. I hated feeling like this, like the breath in his lungs was there only to annoy me. At least Sam hadn't told him where he found me, or there would have been a real fight. The timer chimed, telling me the lasagne was ready. I pulled it out, throwing together salad and serving it on the table.
"Paul!" I reluctantly called. I heard the door open and slam shut, as he thundered back into the kitchen.
"I don't know what your problem is but… Oh. Food." He sat down, forgetting all about whatever he was about to say. I let out a relieved breath, picking up my fork. Suddenly a phone started ringing.
"Is that me or you?" He patted his pockets.
"You." I said between mouthfuls.
"Oh. Sam." He looked at me suspiciously before answering, going back into the study. Crap. I ate quickly, nervously waiting for him to come back. I heard a muffled shout of WHAT? And then silence. Crap. I got up, scraping my plate. I opened the back door quietly, running out into the garden, which lead into the woods. All the pack houses seemed to. Maybe I could just stay there, in a tree or something and avoid the inevitable.
"Bella?" Paul called from the door. "I can hear you." He stood there, tapping his foot. SHIT. I tried to scramble up the nearest tree, and ended up falling, and being caught by Paul.
"Oh, hey there! I didn't notice… Um" I waited for him to shout, but instead he laughed.
"Going for another walk eh? Sam was telling me all about your new athletic side." He smiled, still holding me in his arms. I spastically fell out of his arms, only just landing on my feet in shock.
"Are you alright?" I asked. Maybe he was ill?
"Yeah, of course. Let's walk." He took my hand, strolling at my pace easily.
"So… how was your talk with Sam?" I asked cautiously.
"Good. I got some advice on an issue I've been having… in the… pack." Ah. They'd been talking about me.
"Okay…" This was weird.
"You know, we don't do this enough. I'm sorry." He sighed.
"Oh. Yeah, S'alright." I mumbled, still in shock. At some point we found the end of the street our house was on, and headed back.
"It's nice spending time with you," He whispered. "I'd like to do this more often." He opened the front door for me, as we both went in.
"I guess." I answered uncertainly.
"Good night. I'll do the dishes." He went to kiss me goodnight, but stopped himself, giving me and awkward pat on the back instead. I went to my room and changed, not sure what had just happened. Jacob would piss himself when he heard about this. With that I fell asleep quickly.
The next morning, Paul made breakfast, greeting me with a smile.
"Good morning sunshine!"
"Wha?" I groaned, rubbing my eyes.
"I made pancakes."
"Why?"
"Because you do far too much."
"Okay…"
When Paul finally had another patrol, I hurried to Jake's eager to see what he made of this sudden change with Paul.
"Hey Bells," He was sat on the couch reading wuthering heights.
"What on earth are you reading?" I double checked what book it was.
"A classic Bella. It's so…"
"Horrible? I hate it. They don't really love each other if they can hurt each other the way they do." I shook my head.
"I agree. But it's romantic anyway." He insisted.
"You're funny Jake."
"So… Did Sam catch you?"
"Yeah… I think he called Paul and told him but…"
"But?"
"He suddenly started trying to be nice. He made breakfast."
"What?" He let out a shocked laugh. It was well known that Paul didn't cook.
"Yeah, he's weird. So… How's the car?"
"It's getting there. Wanna see?" He asked excitedly.
"Yeah." We headed to the garage as usual.
AN:
This is just an idea… What do you think? Please tell me what you think :)
.
