Captain Jack Sparrow on
the Virtues of Married Women
Hot, passionate kisses. There were few things in life that Captain Jack Sparrow liked more than hot, passionate kisses. And most of those things came immediately after (and sometimes during) the hot, passionate kisses.
Jack was battling to get the hooks of her dress undone. She was clawing at his belt buckle. Their lips were leaping together whenever they got within range.
Then the door to her bedroom swung open, and there stood her husband. Okay, this was going to be a bit dicey. The man's jaw hung open, and his eyes bulged in shock and disbelief.
Jack rounded on him. "Aren't you ashamed of yourself?"
The cuckolded husband wasn't sure he'd heard right. "Ashamed of myself?"
"To go away and leave a beautiful woman like this all alone! And when there are pirates out and about too!"
"There are no pirates."
Jack advanced on him. "When was the last time you told her she is beautiful? When was the last time you wrote her a love poem?"
"I,I,I, I- She's my wife!"
"And for that, you should treasure her all the more. To have a woman like this is beyond the dreams of most men." He spoke over his shoulder to the lady. "Donna my love—"
"Deborah," she corrected him.
Jack's mouth stumbled to a halt but then continued, "Deborah my love, what gift can this man give you that would make you supremely happy?"
"Jewelry!"
Jack winced. He'd been hoping for a more useful answer. But he grinned. "See there? All she wants from you is a simple gift of jewelry. Savvy?"
The husband roared and grappled for his sword.
Jack spun, gave the errant wife a peck on the cheek, and then leaped out the window and onto the roof.
The husband, waving his sword leaped out the window after him.
Jack leaped in another window. He grabbed his hat from on the dresser, gave Donna, that is Deborah, another kiss on the cheek, raced out the door, and ran for his life.
