Shepard walked down the stairs from Aria's, what would you call it, office? She brought up her omni-tool and contacted the Normandy.
"Joker, we're staying here on Omega for a while. Shore leave until 07:00 tomorrow."
Aye-aye, Commander.
She walked two more steps before she got a ping from Lawson.
Shore leave Commander? Did you find anything out from Aria T'loak?
Shepard rolled her eyes, "Yes, Miranda, data on the Scientist and Archangel. I'm not sure how Cerberus does things, but dragging a doctor out of his volunteer clinic in the middle of the night generally doesn't go well. We'll go first thing in the morning. From what Aria was able to tell me, it looks like we'll have to take a team to help him out."
Understood, Commander.
Shepard got some supplies and upgrades for the Normandy, then headed for the bar. She used to love being on her ship, but the Cerberus crew, while mostly polite and supportive, just wasn't the same as being with the Alliance. She didn't feel like she could trust them yet, so a night away was a welcome relief. She ordered a drink from the Turian bartender and turned around to take in the scene at Afterlife. She was in her uniform casuals with the Cerberus logos cut out. She'd taken those off her first day on the Normandy. She had her long dark hair pulled out of its bun, not wanting to attract too much attention when she researched the dossiers Miranda had given her. For the most part, she was still incognito when she went out. Alien races were less able to discern the nuances of human facial features, and she was rarely recognized. That and the fact that she was still supposed to be dead.
She saw some of her crew walk by, and they nodded in their direction as they passed. She used to go out with Garrus on shore leave, but not knowing where he was, even if he was still alive, damn. She finished off her drink. She started to feel a familiar ache in her gut. Her longing for him was not diminished by his absence. She'd tried to find him, looked through the Cerberus databases, put out feelers, but found nothing. He had disappeared. Problem is, it's only been a few weeks for me, but it's been years for him, she thought. She'd found out he had reapplied for Spectre training, but he left unexpectedly before finishing it, and his trail was cold after that. She smiled ruefully to herself remembering the times she had tried to flirt with him and he consistently failed to return her attentions. Fuck, she thought, I should have tried harder. Instead she'd turned to Kaidan out of frustration, and while he had returned her affection wholeheartedly, she had quickly realized he was a poor substitute.
She signaled the bartender for another drink. She wished Joker got out more often, he'd at least make her laugh, keep her company. She could trust him. Not that she couldn't hold her own. She'd grown up on the streets of Earth, running with gangs. Omega seemed pretty much the same.
She noticed a Turian trying to attract her attention. "I've got a ship and a mate, and I only brought one with me." he said leaning over in her direction. She shook her head and took a drink. He got closer. "Naw, just kidding. I don't have a mate, but I am on the hunt for one." He leaned down and sniffed her hair. She shot him a warning look. He ignored it and reached down to touch her shoulder. She turned swiftly to face him and blocked his hand. She reached up and grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him towards her. He grinned until she pulled the collar down, exposing the bite scar on his neck. He tried to loosen her grip but she was surprisingly strong. "I'm sure your mate would like to know you cover this up when you go 'on the hunt'. Now back off, or you'll regret it." She let go, pushing him away. "Okay, okay! Bitch." and he knocked her drink over, walking away. She looked up and noticed another Turian, a younger one, tall, approaching from her other side. "Are you okay? I was about to step in, but it looks like you handled yourself pretty well." He said.
"Yea, no big deal. I get that a lot." She sighed and signaled the bartender.
"I'm sure you do."
She looked at him, arching an eyebrow.
"Get a lot of attention, that is." he corrected himself.
The bartender approached and cleaned up the spilled drink and empty glass.
"I just hate guys like that, they give Turians a bad rap." He held a hand out, "I'm Avek."
She shook his hand. "I'm Jane."
"Can I buy you a replacement drink?"
She took his Turian ale he'd left on the bar and took a swig of it. He panicked, "Don't! Shit, you'll get sick!"
She smiled and wiped the drink from her mouth. "I'm not your typical human. I don't have dextro allergies."
"Wow, never heard of that. Interesting."
She eyed him for the first time. He was young, probably mid-20s. Dressed in casuals, but something about his body language said military. The way he stood up straight, his formality and respect. His silvery skin with brown undertones looked warm and inviting. She looked up at his eyes, amber with yellow flecks. Wonder what he thinks about humans, she mused.
"So, Avek, you live around here?" Damn, that was so lame. She was really out of practice.
He didn't seem to mind. "I work here. I'm former C-sec, working with a few other former officers to help keep the petty crime down. You know, make sure nothing happens to the patrons."
She narrowed her eyes. C-sec. That's what she was picking up on. He didn't seem the type to give up a career to work as one of Aria's clean-up officers. I bet he's secretly here to keep an eye on Aria, too. She thought.
"Well, if you're drinking, I guess you're off duty."
"Yes, I am." Avek answered.
"Good, then I can buy you a replacement drink." She finished off his Turian ale and ordered two more from the bartender.
They continued to drink and talk about general happenings on Omega, C-sec and politics. Nothing too personal. She started to feel warm and relaxed. She looked up at him, He's really cute. It's been a long time. She reached out and put a hand on his arm. He glanced down, but didn't move it. She edged a little closer, listening closely to his story about taking out some Cerberus operatives trying to hack into C-sec files a few years back. Good thing I took that damn patch off, she thought.
Dealing with human guys on Earth in the gangs, even in the Alliance, had given Shepard an appreciation for Turian males. They were more respectful, honorable, but were rough in the bedroom. She rarely found a human male who could handle how tough she was, but understand the sensitivity behind it without trying to control her. Her first Alliance assignment had brought her to a planet with mostly Turian military presence, and they all shared quarters. She'd had her first experience with a Turian cadet in his bunk her 2nd week there. She didn't know anything at the time about chafing or allergies, and they'd both ended up in the med ward the next day. She'd been rubbed raw, and his tongue was swollen up. The doctor gave them disapproving looks, but some lotion and pills later, they were free to enjoy each other's company as much as they liked, and they did. Since then, she'd stuck to mostly Turian relationships, short and passionate, her work not allowing her anything more. She'd had a few human boyfriends, but mostly short-lived. Her ill-fated attempt to have a romance with Kaidan had resulted in her frustration with his overly emotional moping. They were opposites in so many ways. She'd been horny, and Garrus hadn't returned any of her advances. It had been a disaster.
Avek's put his hand over hers, warm and inviting. "It's getting late," he said, "can I walk you back to your quarters?"
She smiled at the C-sec term. "I'm just here on leave from my ship. I don't have a place to stay."
"Well, as one of Aria's staff, I do have access to rooms she keeps for VIPs. There are quite a few available."
"Mmm. Sounds great." She beamed up at him. They got off their stools and he put his arm around her shoulders, walking her around the back and up a set of stairs to a back elevator. They got on with a group of Asaris and stood next to each other until the Asaris got off at the next floor. As soon as the doors closed and they were alone, she turned to face him and reached up to the back of his fringe, grabbing and pulling it lightly. He was taken aback, but quickly responded with a low growl and pulling her closer by her waist. The doors opened on the next floor.
"It's here." He said, letting go of her as they walked down the long corridor of rooms. Halfway down the hall he punched a code in one and they entered. Shepard looked around. The room was nice, like a hotel room with a table and small kitchen too.
He motioned to the bathroom. "You can use that if you'd like." She nodded yes, and went inside. After she went to the toilet, she used her omni-tool to message Joker and Miranda she would be staying on Omega that night, then she turned it off.
She came out to see Avek sitting awkwardly on the edge of the bed. He jumped up as soon as he saw her. "Look, I'm not expecting anything. If you just need some sleep and a place to stay, I can go and it won't be any problem."
She was disappointed. "While I appreciate your chivalry, I was hoping for more than that. Have you never been with a human before?"
"Yes, actually. I just didn't want you to feel obligated."
That Turian honor and respect. She loved it.
"I don't feel obligated, I'm excited." And she walked closer to him, putting her hand on his chest. She looked up and lightly licked his mandible. He let out a low growl and realized she had definitely been with Turians. The thought excited him more. He had been with human females twice before, but they had been younger than him, and they didn't really know what they were doing. She was more experienced, and he was looking forward to seeing what she knew. He felt her pull on his shirt and he stepped back, taking his clothes off as she did the same.
He gasped as he saw her naked. She was perfect, not a mark, not a scar, wait – some faint glowing lines on her body, that was something he'd never seen. She noticed what he was looking at, "Oh, that. It's a long story, but don't worry, it doesn't make a difference." She approached him and wrapped her arms around his waist, enveloping herself in his warmth. She ran her hands over his back, feeling in the folds of his carapace with her fingers. Oh, she had missed this. His hand was stroking her back, but she could feel his hesitation. "What is it?" she asked looking up at him.
"I, I'm afraid to…I don't file down my talons, for my work, you know. And your skin, it's so soft, so beautiful, I don't want to mark you up."
She grabbed his shoulders and jumped up on his hips, wrapping her legs around him. She growled in his ear, "That's exactly what I want you to do. I hated losing my battle scars, and I need you to give me some. If we leave here without you making me bleed, then you haven't done it right." Her words ignited a fire in him, and he grabbed her legs and dug his talons in, eliciting moans of ecstasy from her. She looked down at him with lust and longing and kissed him, as he kissed her back snaking his tongue in her mouth, tasting her. She could feel his plates starting to shift already underneath her, and he turned around and lay her on the bed. He swiftly got on top of her and started licking at her nipples while she moaned and grabbed his fringe, pulling harder. He was completely erect and exposed and she started to wriggle down to feel his tip against her hot, wet core. "Wait, wait." He croaked out. He reached over for the nightstand and opened a drawer pulling out some lotion that she grabbed from him and quickly rubbed on the inside of her thighs and lower abdomen. She put the cap on and threw it down on the floor, looking up to see him starting to roll a condom on. "You don't need that." She said.
"What?"
"Remember I told you I don't have dextro allergies?"
"But, I don't have any pills here for you."
"No, it…it's a long story, but I have implants and, shit, the short of it is, I have no dextro allergies at all, can drink it, eat it, in any way ingest it, it's all okay."
Wow, she really was something extraordinary. He said, "As long as you're sure." She nodded yes, and he took the condom back off. He'd never felt a human female directly before, and he became rock hard with the prospect. He leaned his hips back over her and she readied herself, remembering this was her first time since her Cerberus rebuild. Well, only one way to find out.
He gently pushed into her as she pulled her hips up towards him. He held onto her back, lightly raking his talons under her as she rocked back and forth, taking in his whole length. He'd never imagined how soft and wet it actually felt like being enveloped inside a human female. She leaned her head back and screamed out in pleasure as he stretched her out. It did feel like being a virgin again. She came quickly and he responded in kind, finding his own release. They clung to each other for another minute, slowing their breathing down. "Mmm, nice and hot." She murmured.
"Hmm?"
"When you cum, it's hot inside me, I love it."
He ran his talons through her hair, taking a dark strand and looking closer at it. She smiled, Turians were always fascinated by her hair. That was one of the reasons she kept it long. She stroked his face and he looked down in her eyes.
"Ready?" he asked.
"Ready." She replied and pulled out of her and lay next to her on the bed. She turned and cuddled up into him, both of them falling fast asleep.
He woke the next morning to her sitting up in bed turning off the alarm on her omni-tool. She started to get up and he grabbed her arm, bringing her back down.
"I hope you have a little more time before you go." He lay back down on the bed.
She smiled and pulled the sheet back, seeing his erect penis pushed out from his plates. It was amber and gold colored, just like his eyes. She reached over and grabbed it in her hands, working it up and down as he groaned loudly. Suddenly she bent down and took it in her mouth. He gasped, no one had ever done that before. The feel of her warmth, her wetness and her tongue moving over his head while she squeezed his base was exquisite. He started to feel his release and moved his hands down, holding her head in place as he spilled into her. She sucked hard and swallowed, relishing in the taste and heat in her mouth. She wiped her mouth on the back of her hand and grinned down at him, getting up to go to the bathroom.
"No." He grabbed her arm and slammed her back down on the bed. "Now it's my turn." He held her arms up over her head with one hand, and with the other one relentlessly worked her clit with the pad of his thumb while putting his other fingers inside her. She growled lowly at him and gasped as she thrilled at him finally taking control. She got close to climaxing, and she turned her head and bit down on his arm that was holding her hands. He pulled his fingers out and jumped up. "You want it like that, like a Turian?" he demanded. "Yes" she said, eyes blazing, his blue blood tricking down her mouth. She kicked his arm away. He reached down and grabbed her ankle, pulling her off the bed. He grabbed her just as she started to hit the floor and picked her up and pushed her down face first on the table. He held her arm out flat with one hand and pinned her down with his hips as he grabbed her hair and wrapped it around his other fist. He slammed her head back down on the table holding her by the hair and pinning her other arm down and entered her roughly. She was completely helpless and she loved it. In every aspect of her life she was in control, but sex was one area she wanted someone to control her.
The timidity of last night's sex was completely gone as he ravaged her. She screamed in ecstasy as he slammed into her again and again. He let go of her arm with his left hand and scratched deep lines down her back, then he grabbed her hips, pinning her down while keeping his right hand down on the table, her hair still wrapped tightly in it. "Holy fuck!" she yelled as he continued. He held her arm back down again, and she felt teeth in the soft part of her bicep. He continued to bite down hard and suddenly she started to climax. He felt her walls close down on him, heard her scream out his name. He released his bite, then felt his own climax and bit down again on her side. As he spilled out inside her, he started to calm down, and felt her relax her legs from around the back of his. He lifted up and looked down at her, suddenly alarmed at the extent of the damage he had caused. She had bites, scratches and bruises. His talons had pierced her hips, and blood was visible on the table. Red drops of her blood were dripping down from his mouth making circles on her back. He let go of her hair and untangled it, gently pulling his hands out, and pulling his penis out of her. Female Turians could take that and give it back, but human skin was vastly different. He didn't even know who she was, maybe she had a ship captain who would bring him up on charges for attacking her like that.
He stood back and she slowly pulled herself off the table and turned around to look at him. His blue blood was still visible on her mouth as she grinned and said, "Damn, Avek, that was the best sex I think I've ever had."
He sighed in relief, "Uh, your back is pretty bad, I'm sorry."
She waved him off, and went to the bathroom to have a look. "Nothing a little medigel can't fix" she called out. She peeked around the corner, "Could you help me with it? I can't reach back there."
He grabbed some medigel from the kit on the wall and came into the bathroom. She had a large bruise on the right side of her face from the force of him holding her down on the table. She smiled broadly up at him in the reflection. "Now that's a good night, where there's blood on both of us."
He shook his head, this woman was amazing. He cleaned her off first with a wet washcloth, then applied the medigel to the worst areas on her back. "Sorry, I did bite you twice-"
"Bites are fine, as long as it's not on the neck."
He got her meaning.
"There's not enough medigel to cover all of it."
"I have some in my uniform, too."
He went out of the room and looked in her pockets. A pistol fell out, as well as old Alliance dog tags. He looked at them for a name, but they were blank. Odd. He put it back in, and searched the other pocket and found the medigel. He came back to the bathroom and finished putting it on her wounds while she used a washcloth to wipe his blood off her face. "You should probably still see a doctor for the ones on your hips." He said.
"Yea, I'll do that. I've got to get dressed and go, though. They'll be waiting for me soon." He went to the bedroom to change, while she grabbed her clothes and used the bathroom and changed back in her clothes. She exited the bathroom and gave Avek an embrace. Kissing him on his cheek, she leaned back and smiled at him. "I guess I won't see you again." He said.
"No, probably not. And if you do, it's better you pretend you don't know me."
"Who are you exactly?" he asked.
She scoffed, "I could ask you the same thing. You're not just one of Aria's muscle. You've got secret mission written all over you."
He gave her a silent smile.
"You'll probably figure me out someday," she sighed, "but it was nice to be just Jane with you."
They left the room walked out the hallway together as Shepard turned on her omni-tool. She pinged Joker, "I'm going to get a quick bite, then have Miranda bring my armor and weapons and meet me by the outside entrance to the wards with Jacob."
Sure thing, Commander.
Commander? He watched her back as they walked and she pulled her hair up and tied it into a tight bun. Well, he understood secrecy and respecting privacy. She had trusted him, and he wouldn't let her down.
He reached for her sleeve before she got to the elevator. She turned around to face him.
"You have my word." He said simply.
She reached for his hand and squeezed it, then turned and got on the elevator alone. He held back, to give her privacy for when she got off the elevator downstairs.
Shepard leaned back against the wall of the elevator, closing her eyes. Damn, what an experience. For once she wished she could just be a normal person and have a lasting relationship with someone. She sighed. His C-sec roots reminded her of Garrus. She had tried so hard on the SR1 to get him interested in her, and he had no inclination that way whatsoever. It still disappointed her. Every Turian was a pale comparison to him, and she had even gone back to humans in an effort to get Garrus out of her mind. And look how that turned out, she thought. She got off the elevator and made her way out to the Omega markets, eating a quick breakfast at the fish shack and then meeting Miranda and Jacob.
"You're late." Miranda sniffed, then got a close look at her when she got in the light. "Shit, what happened to your face?"
Shepard put her hand up to the deepening bruise, "Oh, nothing."
"Geez, Commander, did you get in a fight last night?" Jacob asked, helping her get her armor on over her casuals.
"You should have had someone with you!" Miranda's voice started to screech.
"Christ, Miranda, I'm not your project anymore. It wasn't a fight, I'm fine. I promise, when we get back, I'll have Chakwas take a look." She was glad humans didn't have the same keen sense of smell Turians did. Without time to take a shower, they would have picked up on what had actually happened right away.
After the mission, Shepard kept her promise and after she got Mordin set up in the lab, she obediently went to Dr. Chakwas. Miranda was already there talking to her. Damn, she hated how much this bitch micromanaged her. Shepard put her hand on her hips, Miranda looked up at her, "Just having a word with the Doctor, Commander." She walked past Shepard's glare and out of medbay. Shepard turned to look at the Chakwas.
"What was that all about?"
The doctor made a waving motion in the direction of the door. "Don't worry about her, I don't pay attention to half of what she says."
Shepard grinned, then sat down at the table. The doctor examined her face. "Hmm, not too bad. I'll apply some light gel to it that should reduce the bruising somewhat and speed healing." As she finished up the medicine on her face, Shepard said, "Um, I think you need to draw the shades and lock the door, there's more."
Chakwas did as she was instructed while Shepard took off her clothes, keeping on her underwear. She heard the doctor draw in a quick breath when she turned and caught sight of her back. Shepard stood while Chakwas looked her over. The medigel had started to work, but was not completely covering the wounds. "You know Shepard, some of these will scar."
"Yea, I know. I'm fine with that." Shepard appreciated the doctor's discretion in not asking her what happened.
Chakwas went to her cabinet and got disinfectant and more medigel and got a close look at her front. "Nothing much here," she said to herself.
"Just these," and Shepard showed her where the talons had dug into her hips.
"Yes, I see." Chakwas cleaned them with disinfectant and started applying medigel when suddenly the doors whooshed open.
"Commander, I – bloody hell!"
Shepard looked back over her shoulder to see Miranda in the doorway. She looked back at Dr. Chakwas in front of her, "I thought you locked the door!"
"I did!" a surprised Chakwas walked around Shepard towards Miranda.
"Are those…bite marks!" Miranda pointed, looking disgusted.
Chakwas got between Miranda and Shepard. "You are violating patient – doctor confidentiality, I don't know how you got in, but I insist that you leave immediately!"
"With my override codes, I wanted to make sure the Commander was-"
Shepard had wrapped a sheet around her, and turned around to face Miranda. "Let's get one thing perfectly clear, I am the Commander on this ship, and you report to me, not the other way around. I will drop you off at the next port if you dare disrespect the chain of command one more time. I appreciate your concern and your advice, but know your place. Now I suggest you leave, and forget everything you just saw."
They stood in place for a few moments and Miranda glared at them, then turned silently around and left. Dr. Chakwas locked the door again. "I suggest you have EDI override those override codes, Commander."
"Just what I was thinking, Doctor." Shepard sat back down on the table and took the sheet off. Dr. Chakwas finished cleaning and applying medigel. She had to stitch a couple of the gouges on her hips.
Dr. Chakwas smiled at her. "You'll be good as new in a day or so."
"Thanks, doctor." She jumped off the table and started putting her casuals back on. She couldn't wait to get in the shower and completely clean the dried blood off.
Dr. Chakwas sighed. As much as she wanted to lecture the Commander, she knew if she did, she'd never come seek her out for help again. That meant she would try to fix herself up on her own, and that could go very badly.
A month later, Shepard was calling for shore leave again, this time on the Illium. She had most of her old crew back with her, but still relished getting off the ship for a while to have some downtime. She wore the dress Kasumi had given her to wear on their mission to get Keiji's graybox. She'd invited Garrus to come with her, but he'd insisted on staying on the Normandy for more calibrations. She sighed and looked down as they walked towards the restaurant. After seeing him again on Omega and him almost dying in front of her, she had nearly gone mad thinking she had lost him. Having him back was like heaven and hell at the same time, because while they had reforged their strong friendship, he was still oblivious to her romantic feelings for him.
She thought back to earlier when she had gone to his quarters, trying to entice him to go out drinking with her. "It'll be fun, Garrus, like old times." She sauntered towards him. She thought the sight of her in the leather dress might give him another perspective on her. Her hair was down, hanging in long dark curls on her back. She leaned forward and lowered her voice, putting her hand on his arm. He hesitated for a moment, but looked down at her and said, "Can't Shepard. I'm still not finished getting my weapons in order. Next time. What's it called, a 'storm check'?"
"A rain check," she said fighting back tears of frustration and an aching want that couldn't be satisfied.
She frowned at the memory. I just have to get it through my head that he'll always be just a friend and move on, she thought. She sighed and pushed thoughts of Garrus out of her mind for the millionth time. This would be a nice distraction, if at least to just get her mind off it for a little while. This time, Kasumi and Tali were with her. They planned on having drinks and then a nice dinner at one of the fancy restaurants at Illium.
"Hey Shep, first round of drinks are on me." Kasumi grinned as they walked into the restaurant.
Looking around, it was very upscale and posh. They walked over to the bar and Kasumi ordered drinks. Shepard took a sip of Tali's drink while Kasumi looked around. She couldn't help her habit of quickly scoping a place out, for danger and for valuables. She turned back to look at Shepard. "Nice crowd tonight."
"You've been here before?" Shepard asked.
"Sure, lots of times. And not all of them cloaked."
Shepard rolled her eyes. "Don't get us into any trouble Kasumi."
Kasumi laughed, "I don't think you need me for that Shep." They all laughed.
"That was my best Miranda impression, did you like it?" Shepard sipped her drink and smiled.
"She's not that bad." Tali said.
"You don't know the half of it Tali," Shepard scoffed.
"So ladies, let's stop talking shop and talk about what really matters."
Tali and Shepard looked at Kasumi expectantly.
"Men."
Tali groaned, "If this is another conversation about Jacob's perfect abs, I'd rather talk about the next mission."
"Okay, okay. We can talk about Kal Reeger and his perfect, uh, whatever." Kasumi said.
Tali sipped quietly on her drink.
"Are you blushing underneath that mask, Tali?" Shepard smiled.
"Uh, maybe."
Shepard and Kasumi giggled.
Suddenly the bartender came over and handed a drink to Shepard. "I didn't order-"
"It's from the guy over there." He pointed at a table. A well-dressed Turian walked up to Shepard.
"Allison Gunn?"
Kasumi almost spit out her drink.
"Um, yes." She looked more closely at him. He was at Donovan Hock's party on the mission she'd gone on with Kasumi. They had struck up a conversation when she was trying to gather data and work the room. He'd figured out she was there for more than just the party, and had helped point her in the right direction for some of the passwords she needed. He was there undercover investigating art thefts, and was eager to help her take Hock down.
He smiled at her, "I don't think you remember me-"
She smiled broadly at him, "Tavin! Of course I remember you." She shook his hand. "We couldn't have completed our mission without you." She introduced Kasumi and Tali.
"Would you ladies care to join me?" He gestured towards his table.
Kasumi spoke up, "We were going to check out one of the dancing clubs, so you go ahead Sh- um, Allison. We'll catch up with you later."
"I don't like to dance." Tali mumbled as Kasumi grabbed her, saying, "That's why you need to learn. Let's go, it'll be fun." She took her by the arm and out of the restaurant.
"I hope I didn't mess up your evening." Tavin looked back at Shepard.
"No, Kasumi really wanted to go clubbing in the first place."
"Not your scene?" he asked. Shepard shook her head no. "Well then, would you like to sit down?"
She took her drink and sat at the table. "So, what brings you to Illium? Business?"
He leaned back in his chair, "Um, yes. I just finished up tracing a stolen sculpture for a Salarian client. I live here, and I'll be here for a few days until I go to my next assignment."
"You did a job for another Salarian recently too, right? An antique musical instrument?"
He was surprised, "Yes, how did you know about that?"
She turned pink. "I did a little research on you when I finished my mission."
Tavin's mandibles fluttered. "Well, nice to know I made an impression." He took a drink and looked over at her. He had felt a connection when they met on Bekenstein, the events of the night had been so crazy, he didn't even know if she'd made it out alive. Allison Gunn had fallen off the map after that. When he saw her at the bar, he couldn't believe it.
"You keep talking about being on a mission. Are you C-sec?"
She put her drink down. "No, military. That's all I can say." She smiled.
He put his hands up, "I understand, I don't mean to pry. Just glad to enjoy your company. You made quite an impression on me as well, although I tried to look you up and was much less successful."
She looked down into her drink. "My name's not Allison Gunn. That was a persona we created to complete our mission. My real name is Jane."
He nodded. "Okay, Jane. How long are you here on Illium?"
"Just for tonight. I have to leave tomorrow-"
"On a mission."
She smiled, "Yup."
"Well then, here's to successful missions." He raised his glass to hers and she clinked it.
He looked at her over the top of his glass. "Would you like to order some food? I just got here myself, and I'd love to buy you dinner."
"I really owe you dinner after you helped us on Bekenstein."
"That's true, but I rarely get the pleasure of buying a beautiful woman a meal." He looked down. He was trying too hard.
She laughed. "Well, I'm not one to disappoint a handsome Turian." She reached across the table and put her hand over his.
He summoned the Asari waitress and they looked at menus. He placed his order, with Shepard saying, "I'll have the same." and handing the datapad back to the waitress. They looked at her confused, until she said, "Oh, I don't have any dextro allergies. Really." The waitress shrugged and left with the menus while Tavin studied her.
"I've never heard of a human being able to eat dextro food."
She sighed, "I know. I'm a bit of a special case."
"Hmm. Very intriguing."
She took his drink, "May I?" he nodded yes, and watched in fascination as she drank from it. "Umm, good. Could you have her bring another one for me?" He ordered one from the datapad at the table.
She'd had three drinks by now on an empty stomach, and was starting to feel very comfortable. She looked over at Tavin. His silvery skin had a slight greenish hue to it. That was unusual in Turians. His eyes were green as well. "So, you seem like a pretty great guy. You're not bonded with anyone?"
He cleared his throat. "I was, my wife died three years ago. I've pretty much poured myself into my work ever since."
Damn, Shepard thought, why did I ask about that.
Reading her thoughts, he quickly said, "Don't feel bad, it's been a while, and I'm able to talk about it. So, what about you? No boyfriend or husband?"
"No, neither. My family is gone too. I grew up an orphan on the streets of Earth. Pretty rough. Like you, my work is all consuming. My friends and uh, co-workers are pretty much my family."
The waitress brought their meals and the extra drink for Shepard. He watched her eat a few bites of food before he started eating. It was interesting watching a human eat dextro food, but she seemed to enjoy it. He couldn't tell how much she was interested in Turians, he wasn't sure if she was just being nice, having a friendly dinner with him or looking for more. He hoped she might be looking for more. He was a bit hopeless with women, but before he was married he'd had a few relationships with human females. They ate and talked about Bekenstein. Shepard had to keep most of the details under wraps. He told her about his recent job. They talked about Illium, he told her it was his favorite place to live out of all the other exotic places he'd been. She looked over the table at him. He was just as handsome as she had remembered, but they didn't seem to be connecting the same way. He was talking so much about the art world, the politics of Illium, she started to think maybe she should have gone with Kasumi.
Suddenly he said, "Do you like ice cream?"
"What?" she asked
"You know, ice cream? Dextro ice cream, ever had it?"
"No, I didn't know it existed, actually."
"I know a place down the street from here, it's great. They have a fruit flavored one you'd probably like. Plus they have sprinkles too – Turian chocolate."
She smiled. Maybe he wasn't such an uptight sophisticate after all. "After this, let's get some. But that would be my treat."
He nodded. They continued to eat and drink, and after a while they left the restaurant, walking out into the cool night air. "Hey Tavin!" They looked across as a human male came up and patted him on the shoulder. "How's it going!"
"Great Mike, how are you?"
"Great game the other night!"
"Yea, it was good to have you guys over. I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Jane."
She leaned forward and shook his hand. He squinted at her, "Don't I know you from somewhere?"
"I doubt it." She said.
"She's in the art business too, so you may have seen her around." Tavin said. "This is Mike, he's one of my former clients, now a friend."
Noticing Tavin's hand around Shepard's waist, Mike excused himself, "Well, let's get together again man, when you get a chance. Have a good night. Nice to meet you ma'am."
She leaned against him as they walked towards the ice cream shop. "He seemed nice."
"Yea, until he gives me the third degree about you," he grinned. "like your friends will about me later."
She laughed, "Oh, my crew know better than to do that."
"Your crew?" he asked.
She bit her lip, shit. She really wanted to be just Jane tonight. Made things less difficult.
"Don't worry, I won't ask." They stepped into the shop and ordered an ice cream each. Shepard insisted on paying, and they walked out, taking a seat on a nearby bench.
"Mmm. You were right, this is good."
"I still can't get over seeing you eat dextro food."
She leaned back against the bench, wondering what Garrus was doing that night. She looked over at Tavin and pushed those thoughts away. He was really nice. This was like a real date. Again she couldn't help but think about what her life could be if she had a normal job and could settle down with someone. She was getting to a point she never thought she would, where she wanted something more in her life than just her work.
"Hey," Tavin said, "You seem lost in thought. Anything you can talk about?"
She sighed and leaned against him. "Just wondering how things could be in a different world."
He leaned over and took in her scent. She continued to eat her ice cream, leaning against him. Her omni-tool went off and she punched a few buttons. "I have to take this," she said and walked away down the street a little bit. He finished off his ice cream and threw the wrapper out. He looked up and she was gone.
"Jane?" He said, looking around. "Jane?"
This was Illium, but it was late at night, and anything could happen. He walked in the direction she had left and saw her ice cream on the ground. He looked in a doorway and saw her struggling with two human males. One had her arms pulled back while kneeing her in the back, and the other one had a gun at her head. Tavin pulled a gun from his pocket and aimed it at the guy holding her, "Drop it now!" He kicked him in the side and he let go of her, which gave her enough time to crack the gun out of the other guy's hand and reach under her dress to pull out her own pistol. She shot him in the leg, which made the other guy panic and run off. "Fuck!" the guy who was shot yelled, grabbing his leg. He tried to get past Tavin who grabbed him.
"Let him go." Shepard said.
"What! He tried to kill you!"
"Please, just let him go. It'll be easier this way, I promise."
Reluctantly, he let go of his grip on him, "Looks like it's your lucky day, asshole. Don't waste it." He pushed him down and he limped off down the street.
Shepard slowly came out of the doorway, brushing dust off her dress.
"Spirits, are you okay?"
"Don't worry, they wouldn't have gotten far. I'm glad you showed up, though." Her omni-tool pinged again, and she keyed it open, "Kasumi, geez, she's drunk messaging me." She held it up to her mouth and said, "No, Kasumi, I don't want to go with you guys for ramen. Please don't message me anymore until tomorrow. You almost got me killed tonight, so quit."
He helped her out into the light and looked her over for injuries as she told him they tried to rob her, then decided to take her in the doorway and rape her. Tavin looked like he was going to pass out.
She wasn't used to being that fussed over for so little. "It was no problem. I think I twisted my ankle a little bit though when I fell down. I'll be fine."
"I should have shot the other guy." Tavin said.
"No, I can get away with it, but you can't." She stopped, again, saying too much.
He turned her around to check her more closely, "He got you on your arm, here." He reached his hand up to look at it closer.
"Did he?" she strained to look behind her.
"Oh, no, that's a scar. It's – a bite scar?"
Shepard turned crimson. Damn, she forgot that was visible when she went sleeveless. Not that she professed to be a virgin or anything, but she cared about his opinion of her. She didn't want him thinking she was a slut. Wait, was she a slut? No, she decided. Definitely not a slut.
She turned around. "Um, well, it is a bite scar, but not where it counts." She didn't think it was possible to blush any more, but her body was certainly trying to outdo itself.
"Well, and I was wondering about what your stance on Turians was." He helped her down to the bench and took a look at her ankle. "It's not swollen or anything. Can you move it?"
She tried and had no problem. "Can you stand on it?" She tried, and was able to put weight on it and walk without difficulty. It twinged a bit, but didn't give away.
"You know a lot about humans, Tavin."
"You aren't the only one who's been in interspecies relationships, Jane." He looked around. "Come on, let's get out of here. I can hail a cab if you need it, or, my apartment is nearby."
He looked at her waiting for her response. She took his hand, "I don't have to be anywhere until the morning. Let's go to your place."
He smiled and they walked the short distance to his apartment building, Shepard holding her heels in her hand. The building was upscale, and they rode up the elevator to his apartment. He turned to look at her, "Um, the place is a bit messy, I'm afraid." He punched in the code and they entered. She looked around and laughed. He had clothes strewn about, an open suitcase on the coffee table. Stale Turian ale and human beer in glasses around. It was a nice place, but she could see he was very much a bachelor. "Sorry, I had some guys over the other day." He cleared her a space on the couch.
"Where's your bathroom?" she asked.
He said, "Let me make sure it's okay first."
He went down the hall and she walked around his living room, looking at his bookshelves. Tons of books on art in different languages. It was unusual to see paper books. She started to get a better take on him. He was an intellectual, but not a snob. He must have been nervous at dinner, and that's why he'd kept talking. He was a bit more ordinary than the usual Turians she went for, but she liked that about him. Something different, she thought.
She saw a picture of Tavin with a pretty Turian female. He came back in the room. "You can go in there, it's okay."
"Is this your wife?" she asked him.
"No, that's my sister. My wife is in the picture over there."
She looked over and saw a picture of him with a beautiful Asari. She wondered why she had died, but certainly wasn't going to ask. She smiled at him, "She's lovely."
She walked down the hall to the bathroom. She used the toilet, then brought up her omni-tool to let Joker know she'd be back on the Normandy in the morning. She thought a second, then forwarded the message to Miranda as well. Don't want to hear any of her flack, she thought.
When she came back he had cleaned most of the glasses off the tables and piled the clothes back in the suitcase. He looked embarrassed about the mess. Shepard assured him, "Don't worry about it. You should see my quarters." She sat down, and he sat down next to her.
Suddenly he felt extremely awkward. The alcohol had worn off, and he didn't know what to do. Sensing this, Shepard put her hand in his and looked up at him. "Tavin. I know you're an upstanding guy. If I had a different life, we'd be having a very different conversation right now, but I'm only here tonight, and probably won't ever see you again, just because of how my job is."
She placed a hand on his shoulder. "I really want to be with you tonight, and I hope you feel the same way, but if you're having second thoughts, I understand. I can get a cab and go back to my ship, no hard feelings."
He reached out and stroked her hair, falling down over her shoulders. She smiled, Always the hair. "I want you to stay." He said. He reached his hand around her face and held it in his hand as he leaned down to kiss her. She sighed into the kiss, gentle at first, then intensifying. She reached her hand up from his shoulder and lightly placed her hand at the back of his fringe, tugging gently. He let out a low growl which encouraged her to pull a little harder. He pulled back, looking down at her with green eyes boring into her.
"Have…have you been with a human before?" she asked.
"Yes, a few times."
"Oh," she was relieved. She decided to take the lead. She stood up and turned around, asking him to unzip her dress. He stood up behind her and did so, helping her pull it down to the floor. Looking at her back, he could see the scars, some of them Turian made, others from what looked like battle scars – knife marks, bullet wounds. The dress didn't need a bra, so she turned to face him in only her underwear and her gun strapped to her thigh. As she unsnapped the gun strap and placed it on the table, he could see she had a few more scars on her front, along with some very faint orange lines going down her body. He was mystified by how her body told a story that he would never know.
He looked up at her, "You're beautiful." She smiled with relief and pressed her body against his, feeling him stroke her back. She looked up at him and pulled back. "Now it's your turn." She said, and crossed her arms as he took off his clothes and stood in front of her. He was a bit shorter than the average Turian, but he was strong and very muscular. Her breath hitched as she saw what had been hiding under that expensive Turian suit. She looked down at his hands, his talons were filed down. Less blood on the carpet, she thought.
She reached out for him and ran her hands over his massive chest while he placed licks and kisses over her face and neck. He was very gentle. She would have to work to bring out his Turian instincts. "Let's go to your room." She said softly.
He nodded and they walked back to his bedroom and he turned on a low light on the dresser. At least this room is clean, she thought. He started kissing her neck again and licking at her while putting his hand down her panties and pulling them down. Now we're getting somewhere, she thought.
"You know, I thought about this moment happening a lot after leaving Bekenstein." She said, kicking her panties off.
"Really?" he was surprised.
"Oh, yea." She squeezed him tighter.
"And how did it usually go in your fantasy?"
"With lots of biting and clawing."
He laughed. "You're really into that, huh?"
"Well, I told you I'm a bit of a special case. You have had sex with Turian females before, right?"
"Yes, of course."
"Well, then think of me that way. Not as a human."
"I guess I can do that."
"Oh, and you don't have to wear protection. I don't have those reactions."
"Mmm, noted."
He picked her up and hitched her on his hips, wrapping her legs around him. She leaned back as he lightly licked at her nipples. Damn, this was going to be better than she thought. She reached down and pulled hard at his fringe as he spun her around and threw her down on the bed. She grunted loudly with the impact and he hesitated for a second, "You said – "
"Yea, I know what I said, and I meant it. I'm not made of glass." She reached down for his plates that were still tightly closed. She frowned, he was still tense. She thought about everything she'd learned about him that night. Her need for roughness must be putting him off. She changed tactics, and pulled him down on top of her gently. This is about what he needs just as much as what I need, she thought. She placed light kisses on his neck and shoulders and slowed down her movements as she stroked the folds in his carapace. She could feel him start to relax. She realized he was being gentle because he didn't want her to feel like a piece of meat, and didn't want to feel like one himself. She held his face in her hand and started to lick his mandibles. He groaned and started cupping her breast, teasing the nipple in his fingers. She gasped slightly at the intensity of it. She wanted to grab at him more, but made herself slow down and run her hands down his back and backside, pulling his legs up and holding her hips up a little higher to rub against him. He brought his leg out from around the outside of her and pulled her legs apart, placing himself between her. She thrilled at the feel of his warmth between her and she pulled her hips up higher. She reached down for his plates and could feel they had shifted and his erect penis was emerging. She gently squeezed it, asking, "Is this okay?" He nodded yes and she kept moving her hands up and down, feeling the ribs on it while he stroked her side with his hand and down her backside, giving her a light squeeze. He got harder and harder, then he pushed her hand away.
He turned her on her stomach, reaching underneath her to pull her hips up. She spread her legs apart and reached her hands out forward on the bed to brace herself. He hesitated. She looked back, "Tavin? Um, is there a problem?" He let go of her and stopped. She turned around and sat on the bed to face him. He was looking down at the bed. She put her hands on his knees and looked up at him, "What is it?"
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I want you, I really do. It's just that you're the first female I've been with since…"
"Oh." She understood – since his wife had passed. She reached up and gave him a hug. "It's okay. I understand."
He took a deep breath and held her tight. "I should have said something before now."
"You have nothing to be sorry for, Tavin. I should have been more sensitive to you." They sat and held each other for a few minutes. Finally Shepard said, "If you want to just lie down and sleep together, it's okay."
"You're an amazing woman, Jane." He kissed her and she was surprised by his tongue gently entering her mouth. It tasted delicious, and she relaxed into their intimacy with a calm she had not felt for a long time. She returned with her pink tongue and they started exploring each other with their hands. He felt down to her folds, and gently massaged her clit through her dark curls, feeling the wetness on his fingers. "We don't have to." She said softly.
"I know, I want to." He said, and turned her around facing away from him. He picked her up and placed her down on his lap, impaling her slowly on his cock as she held on to his knees for support, gasping in the pleasure. When she had taken in his full length, he reached around and grabbed on her legs, pulling her down on him. She rocked slowly back and forth as he reached up his other hand to grip her waist. He was incredibly huge, and she was actually hoping he would climax soon to give her a little relief. "Oh my god, oh my god." She repeated over and over. She could hear herself, but couldn't stop saying it. He started licking and nibbling at her back, her shoulders. It was gentle, but intense, and suddenly she realized, he was making love to her. This wasn't having sex, this was making love. She let herself go in the sensations, not trying to accomplish a goal or make anything happen, just feel. He increased his speed and she felt his teeth on her upper shoulder. He didn't disappoint. He bit down, softly at first, then harder. She felt a wave of heat rushing over her as she started to climax. She screamed out his name and he bit down to the bone, causing her to scream out again as she came. He held her down tightly and got longer and harder inside her, if that was possible, and then he climaxed as well, both of them panting and spasming as they continued to slowly rock back and forth together.
She leaned over and he let go of her, licking the wound he had made on her shoulder.
"Wow," was all she could get out.
They stayed like that for a minute, then he pulled her up and off of him, laying her down on the bed and laying next to her. She cuddled up to him and put her arm and leg over him. She looked down at his penis, seeing it for the first time. It was a light green.
"What is it about Turians and their penises matching their eyes? Is that the way it always is?" she asked.
He laughed. "Yeah, what is it humans say? The carpet matches the drapes?"
She let out a raucous laugh. "I guess so."
He looked down at her picking up a strand of hair, "Well, it's true for you too, isn't it?"
"Um, yea."
He held her tight. "Do you need to attend to your shoulder?"
She looked down at it, "No, it'll be fine. I'll have the Doctor take a look at it tomorrow." She leaned against him and they slept in each other's arms.
In the morning he patted her awake, "Your omni-tool alarm is beeping."
"Oh, shit." She sat up and turned it off, rubbing her eyes. She looked around his room, and back down at him, smiling at her. He looked a little sheepish and she crawled back down and gave him a hug. "Did you enjoy last night?" she asked.
He let out a sigh, "Oh, very much."
She smiled, "Good. So did I." She sat up and looked down at him, leaning down to give him a kiss. Her omni-tool pinged and she brought it up to check the message. They had a new development on a human colony on Horizon and she needed to get back to the Normandy immediately. She jumped off the bed. "I've got to go, now."
"Everything okay?"
"Yeah, it's just somewhere urgent we have to get to. Can you help me get my clothes together?" He nodded and looked for her panties on the floor as she went in the living room to retrieve her dress. She held it up, it was wrinkled like an accordion from being crumpled on the floor all night. "Shit!" she said, as he rounded the corner handing her the panties. She put them on as well as her gun thigh strap. "What am I going to do about this dress? It's bad enough I have to take the walk of shame through my ship, but this is so obvious, I might as well go back naked."
"Come in here." Tavin said, and brought her back in his room and opened his bottom dresser drawer. "I've got clothes in here you can have."
He saw her hesitation, and quickly told her, "They're not hers, they're my sister's clothes. She visits here a lot when she's on break from teaching. She won't miss one outfit, and if she does, I'll replace it. Go ahead. It's better than that." And he pointed to her wrinkled leather dress.
Shepard nodded and grabbed a pair of pants and top. The pants were a little long, but the top fit fine. "Dammit, shoes."
"Sorry, that won't work."
"Oh, that's okay. I'll just go barefoot."
"You can't do that!"
"Well, I can't walk in those heels with this wonky ankle."
He grabbed her shoes and snapped the heels off, handing them back to her. "There you go."
She put them on and looked up at him. "Tavin, I…"
He smiled and reached over to her for one last embrace. "Jane, thank you for a wonderful night. Spirits be with you."
She smiled and turned to go.
"Hey, what about your dress?"
"Um, give it to your sister! And thanks." She went back for another quick kiss and rushed out of the door and down the elevator, hailing a cab in the street. She opened her omni-tool and contacted the Normandy. "I'm on my way. ETA 10 minutes."
She made it back to the dock and onto the Normandy. Her hair was disheveled, she was in clothes that weren't hers, no bra. A bloody stain was appearing on the shoulder of her shirt. Her shoes were broken. She waved at Joker, then walked down the hallway past a wide-eyed Kelly and into the elevator. She went down a floor straight to Miranda's office to get a sit rep.
Miranda looked up. "Well, Shepard. See you enjoyed your shore leave with your usual enthusiasm."
Shepard shrugged, "You should try it sometime."
Miranda made a disgusted face. "Hope you don't plan on taking Kasumi and Tali with you on the mission, they're both still shitfaced from last night."
"Well, don't blame me, we started out together, but they went off themselves pretty quickly."
"I know, that's what they said when we were trying to find you this morning."
Shepard sighed, "Well, here I am. What's the situation?"
"We have intel a colony on Horizon is about to get hit by Collectors. We've never gotten such a head start, we may finally be able to see what's really going on. Our ETA is 2 hours. I suggest you get cleaned up and something to eat."
Shepard rolled her eyes, "Did you think I'd show up there looking like this?"
"Nothing you do surprises me, Shepard. Oh, and one more thing. Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko is stationed on Horizon. He used to work with you, I believe."
Shepard was stunned. Kaidan? Christ, he's the last person she wanted to see. "Yeah, he was on my crew. He's on Horizon? Sounds a little too convenient."
"I agree. At any rate, you need to investigate the colony. This could be our opportunity."
"I should go." Shepard turned and left. She started for the elevator, but turned and went to medbay first.
"Dr. Chakwas."
"Shepard, I thought I might be seeing you this morning." She noticed the blood seeping through the fabric on Shepard's shoulder and pushed the button to bring down the metal shutters on the windows and lock the door.
"So, what do we have this time?"
Shepard took off her shirt and showed her the bite on her shoulder.
"Is that all?"
Shepard nodded. "Oh, and I have a problem with my ankle, I think I sprained it."
Dr. Chakwas shook her head, "Probably those heels."
"No, it was when two guys tried to rape me, I shot one of them and fell-"
Dr. Chakwas held up her hand, "That's okay. I don't need to know. You make my motherly instincts go haywire, you know." She pointed at her shoulder, "Did they-"
Shepard shook her head no and smiled, "That was somebody else."
She took a look at her ankle and ran an ultrasound wand over it. "There, healed my dear. Shouldn't have any more problems. Now let me disinfect and put some medigel over that shoulder, and you should be free to go up and shower."
Shepard left medbay a few minutes later and went up to her quarters, taking off the clothes and shoes and throwing them in the incinerator shute. She didn't want any trace of Tavin left for Miranda or the Illusive man to get nosey about. She went in the shower and thought about last night and Tavin. As much as she would like to imagine they could have been a couple, she knew he needed much more time and patience to get past his wife's death. She hoped at least she may have helped him to take one step closer to finding some closure, and maybe the next girlfriend he has will have an easier time. He definitely deserved to be happy. She emerged from the shower, freshly soaped and shampooed, then went down to the mess to get something to eat.
Her thoughts went to the upcoming mission. Horizon. She brought her datapad with her, and looked over it as Gardner got some breakfast together for her. She did some preliminary research on it. The planet was an agricultural colony. Nothing remarkable, except it was pretty far out in the Terminus system. What about Kaidan, he was stationed there? She shook her head, they never really resolved their relationship. She had been avoiding him the weeks before she was spaced, and had planned to break up with him, but never actually did it.
She ate her breakfast as the crew came in and ate their meals as well. She started to think about who to take with her on her team. Miranda was out. She had no idea how much she screwed herself out of going on missions with her snarky attitude. Jacob was out, he was Miranda's lapdog. Tali and Kasumi were out too. Hmm. She'd take Garrus. He knew Kaidan, and would help give him some perspective if he started giving her a lot of questions. Who else? Jack was a bit of a wild card, but her biotics were strong. Maybe Samara? No, she was a bit too straight laced for decisions they might have to make. Better to take another human along. Jack it is. She sent messages to the both of them that they were coming on the mission, and left with her datapad for Mordin's lab. He'd better be ready with something to protect them against the seeker swarms.
Garrus got the message he was going on the mission to Horizon with a brief mission report to read. He had spent most of the night calibrating the guns, and was satisfied with how they had turned out. When Shepard had come to his quarters the night before asking him to go out, he'd been tempted to take her up on it. The sight of her in that dress, her hair hanging down, her scent, it threw him, but he refused. He knew she was bonded to Kaidan, and would not jeopardize her relationship with him, no matter how much he was attracted to her.
He left his quarters and went to the mess hall, getting himself a dextro meal. He started walking to the tables when he picked up a scent. He started to sniff, looking around. It was the scent of another Turian. He looked around the crew, there were no other Turians on board. He hadn't picked up on it last night when he was in the mess. Strange. He sat down at the table with his meal. It was stronger there, but still relatively weak. He looked around puzzled. There hadn't been another Turian on board last night. He shook his head and finished his breakfast, retreating to his quarters until they were ready to board the shuttle.
Shepard and Jack were suited up and waiting in the shuttle when Garrus came down. They were deep in conversation. He forgot about the scent until he opened the doors and walked in, and it was so strong it nearly knocked him over. He looked over at Jack. She must have had sex with a Turian on shore leave last night. Even with a shower, he would still be able to detect the scent for days. Great. Why hadn't Shepard brought someone else with her on the mission with them. It would be distracting.
They fought on Horizon, protected by Mordin's measures. Garrus tried to get past the lingering scent that kept wafting past him, even when they were outside. For once he wished he had a human's inferior sense of smell.
At the end of the mission, the collector ship had left with half the colonists, and right as they were getting ready to leave, Kaidan suddenly showed up. Shepard was speechless, and after an awkward embrace, he accused her of being a traitor to the Alliance and betraying him. Garrus stood by and watched stunned as Kaidan disrespected Shepard, he was her lover and former crew member, it was shocking. Garrus stepped in and tried to get him to back down. Even Jack had her biotics crackling in her fist when he went off on her. Finally Shepard told him they wouldn't be able to agree, and Kaidan left, adding a, "Be careful" at the end of his kiss-off speech. Shepard called Joker on the com to pick them up, "I've had enough of this planet."
Back on the Normandy, they left the shuttle, with Garrus returning to his quarters. He knew Shepard was hurt by the exchange with Kaidan, and he wanted to give her some space to process it. She always came back to talk over things with him, after she finished her ship duties. After a few hours, she still hadn't come by his quarters. He walked out and onto the bridge. She was probably there, talking to Kelly or Joker. He scrunched up his nose. The smell was all over the damn ship. Spirits, he thought, did Jack have to go all over the place? It was an assault to his senses. Whoever this guy was, he must have had some real quality time with her for that much of his pheromones to be still around. A few more days and it should be dissipated. Until then, he'd have to avoid her at all costs. If he was on a Turian ship, it would be barely noticeable, as his brain would be desensitized to other Turians around him, same as it was when they were on Omega. However, on the rarified air of the Normandy, it was a different story. He went to the cockpit and talked to Joker about Shepard.
"I heard Kaidan's speech to her. What a jerk."
"Yea, I wanted to punch him in the face." Garrus said.
"You and me both, man."
"How did Shepard take it?" Garrus asked him, "She was really quiet on the shuttle."
"She said she was tired of his crap. You know, I don't think she was ever really that into him. I think he was just convenient. I always got the feeling she regretted the whole thing, even before today. The way he acted on Horizon just cemented it for her."
Garrus was surprised. She'd always acted like she was attracted to Kaidan on the SR1. He knew they'd been intimate and he'd always kept a respectful distance from her so as not to step on Kaidan's toes. There were a few times he'd thought she might have been showing an interest in him, but he knew nothing about human mating practices. Shepard was with Kaidan, at least he thought she was. Shepard wasn't interested in Turians, right? Had he been making a mistake all this time? He wanted to talk to her himself to figure it out.
"EDI, where is Shepard?"
Commander Shepard is in the cargo bay.
"I'm going to talk to her." Garrus turned to go.
"Good idea, man."
Garrus got in the elevator and went down to the cargo hold. A makeshift gym had been set up there by Connelly with some punching bags and weights. Spirits, that smell again. He looked over and saw Shepard hitting the punching bag. "Shepard. Came down to check on you."
She looked up at him and smiled, giving the punching bag an extra hit. "Hey Archangel. Just letting off some steam. Care to join me?"
"No thanks. Hey, where's Jack? Is she still here?"
Shepard looked around puzzled. "No, she hasn't been down here that I know of." She started punching the bag again.
"I uh, wanted to talk to you about what happened on Horizon."
"Okay." Shepard stopped the bag and looked up at Garrus. Damn, those crackling blue eyes. I suppose that means he's blue down there too, on the carpet. She grinned.
Garrus looked at her, confused. Why was she smiling? "About Kaidan."
"Okay." Shepard continued her steady gaze on him.
"Well, I thought you might be upset. I know we don't talk about your love life, but I am your best friend, and I hate to see you hurting. To have your boyfriend talk to you like that, well."
"Geez, Garrus. I made the mistake of fucking him before we fought Saren, because I was horny and flattered by his attentions. I've regretted it ever since, and today showed exactly why. He and I are like oil and water, we just don't go together."
She saw Garrus was surprised. She continued, "I should never have gotten with him. It turned out to be a disaster, and in a way, I'm glad he's moved on. I am disappointed that he called me names, traitor is hard to take, but I have to consider the source. He's an ass. I'm glad he's off the Normandy." She started hitting the bag again.
Garrus realized he had thoroughly misjudged their relationship. He had taken her silence on it as her attempt to keep it private. Now he saw she hadn't really loved Kaidan at all. He wished he had talked to her about it sooner.
"Hey, want to catch a vid with me tonight in my quarters?" she asked him.
Garrus walked towards her, confused as he starting picking up on the other Turian scent, stronger than before. She looked up at him, "Garrus?" He walked right up to her, then leaned over her. "Garrus are you okay?" He was acting strangely and it was starting to make her nervous as she could read his Turian expressions, and they weren't good.
He leaned over her and then he saw it under the strap of her tank top. A bite mark. It was fresh, and Turian. He grabbed her arm with one hand and her neck with his other hand and pushed her up against a stack of crates. "Garrus!" she said hoarsely, eyes wide with fear. She tried to pry his hand off her throat with her free hand, but couldn't. His subvocals increased in an angry tone. She'd heard that before. What the hell was he doing? No one else was in the cargo bay. She'd have to handle this herself. He let go of her neck and spun her around, pinning her against the cargo crates again, this time her face slammed up against it, a corner hitting her on her eye. She gasped as he pulled up her shirt and inspected her back and saw faint scratch mark scars on her back and an older bite mark scar on her other arm. Turian! He let go of her and she spun around, her fear turning to rage as she leaned over and yelled, "What the hell was that!" punching him in the face. Blue blood started gushing out his nose.
He put his hands up to his face, blood pooling in his hands and running down his arm. He couldn't believe it. All this time, he'd thought she was with Kaidan, was bonded with him, would never be with him because she'd preferred to be with humans and she was having sex with other Turians!
She walked up to him saying softly, "Garrus?" and put her hand on his arm. "Don't touch me!" he yelled and knocked her arm away with his forearm so forcefully she heard a crack. She fell against the shuttle, holding her wrist with her other hand.
"Just what is going on, have you lost your mind?" She was in tears. He paced around, starting to growl, then increasing in volume until he started yelling, "You!" he screamed at her pointing, "You! It was you!" he said with disgust.
She leaned against the shuttle, holding her broken wrist. She was crying. "Garrus, I don't know what you're talking about. Please!"
He ran over to her with such speed she panicked and backed up and fell on the floor, scooting with her feet in an attempt to get away from him. When he got close she kicked up and hit his shoulder, dislocating it. He barely registered the pain. He reached down for her and grabbed her tank top, ripping the strap off her shoulder.
"This!" he grabbed her shoulder making her wince in pain from the still fresh wound. "This! I.." he collapsed on the ground, banging his fist on the floor.
"All day I've been smelling another Turian on the ship. All day I thought it was on Jack, but the whole time it was on you! How could you!"
Shepard was truly speechless.
Garrus got up and held his head against the wall, completely defeated, his arm over his head.
"It's not a bonding mark, Garrus." She said, trying to calm him down. Where was this protective behavior coming from? She'd rarely seen his Turian instincts before, and never this strongly.
"No, but I know what it's all about." He said weakly. The doors to the cargo bay suddenly opened and several Cerberus officers rushed in, alerted by EDI when Garrus had become violent towards Shepard. They stopped short when they saw the Commander on the floor, bruise on her eye, holding her broken wrist in her hand, red and blue blood on her shoulder. They looked over at Garrus, blue blood gushing from his nose and jaw, one shoulder hanging limply at his side. He was starting to calm down and realized how his white-hot Turian rage had physically hurt her. She was human, not Turian, and couldn't withstand the type of exchange they had had.
She stood up. Garrus walked towards the officers, "I'm coming." He said.
Shepard interrupted, approaching the officers. "Thank you, but you are not needed here. Dismissed."
They all looked up at Shepard. "I said dismissed, that's an order!" She commanded, raising her voice. They looked at each other and started back for the door.
Garrus was still looking down at the ground. "I should go with them Shepard-"
"You are not dismissed, Vakarian." She pointed at him.
The officers left. They stood in silence for a few moments while Shepard collected her thoughts. "We are going to medbay. We will continue this discussion in my quarters after that, is that understood?"
Garrus nodded numbly. They walked to the elevator and got in. "EDI?"
Yes Commander.
"I am ordering you to erase all vidfeed from the last 10 minutes in the cargo bay and to keep confidential the entire exchange with Garrus. No exceptions. Is that understood?"
Yes Commander.
"Has any of it gone to Lawson yet?"
No Commander.
"Good. Let's keep it that way."
They stood in silence until the elevator stopped and they got out and headed to medbay. Heads turned at the sight of them walking past. Doctor Chakwas jumped up from her desk when she saw them come in. "What –" she started.
"Just a sparring match that got out of control, Doctor. Lots of stress to work out after that mission. Need your help in getting us patched up." Her eye was swelling up so much she couldn't see out of it.
Chakwas looked back and forth at them, Garrus continuing to look down. "Please see to Shepard first, Doctor." He said, sitting down on one of the beds. Doctor Chakwas noticed the gawkers outside and pushed the buttons to lower the metal shutters on the medbay windows and locked the door. She handed Garrus some gauze to stop the bleeding and returned to inspect Shepard's eye. "What else, Shepard?"
"My wrist. It's broken." She looked at the wrist and scanned it.
"Fortunately we won't have to do surgery on it. I'll treat it, and bandage it up and it'll be fine in a few days. Fortunately it's not your writing hand."
"Can't we just tell the Illusive man that so I can get out of writing reports?"
Chakwas laughed, "Nice try, Shepard."
Garrus was beside himself, still thinking he deserved to be in the brig, and here she was covering for him, making jokes. He didn't understand why she was reacting this way.
Chakwas used a diathermy wand on her wrist and then bandaged it up. She treated the eye with ultrasound to diffuse the blood, and gave her a cold compress to put on it. "I won't lie to you Shepard, that'll take a few days to improve."
Chakwas stayed silent while she used gel on the faint bruises on her neck. Shepard looked up at her, warning with her eyes not to ask.
"You're good to go Shepard. Keep that cold compress on your eye for another 10 minutes, then 15 on, 15 off for the next two hours."
"Okay, Doctor, thanks." Shepard paused by Garrus on her way out and said quietly, "When you're finished please come up to my quarters.
She left. Doctor Chakwas looked at Garrus' face. "Well, the good news is it's not broken. Considering how much work we put into rebuilding your face, that's positive." She took a look at his dislocated shoulder. "That's going to take more strength than I have to reposition." She called over the com, "EDI, could you have Grunt come to medbay please?"
Garrus looked up at her. "Well, you don't think I can do it, do you?" she shrugged.
She blotted disinfectant on Garrus' nose. "She's tougher than she looks, you know. And seems like she gave as good as she got."
Garrus hung his head. Chakwas patted his arm. "Take the fact that she's still talking to you as a good sign, Garrus."
The door pinged. "Oh, I forgot the lock." She opened it and Grunt came in.
"You wanted to see me doc?"
A few minutes later after much noise coming out of medbay, Garrus and Grunt emerged with Garrus' arm back in joint and Grunt laughing, slapping him on the back. "Next time, invite me to the fight, Garrus!" and he walked over to the mess hall as Garrus got in the elevator and went up to Shepard's quarters.
He stood outside her door for a few minutes, knowing he couldn't leave, but not wanting to go in. Finally he opened her door, she had given him the code the first day he was there. She was standing in her quarters, scrunching water out of her hair with a towel. "I took another shower, Garrus. Hopefully it won't be so strong now."
She sat down on her couch. Her eye looked like shit – it was purple, and still swollen. Her wrist was in a bandage. She had changed her clothes into a T-shirt and loose pants. He stood in the doorway and hung his head, ashamed. Shepard sighed.
"Well, that was an unexpected reaction." She said looking up at him.
He stood, still looking down at the floor. "Shepard, I should be in the brig-"
She waved her hand, "Bullshit. You reacted like a Turian. That's not a violation on my ship. I was caught off guard, that's all. How's your shoulder?"
"Grunt pulled it back in joint."
She laughed, "Oh, I should have stayed to see that."
Garrus didn't move. She sighed, "Garrus, we've been through too much to not work through this, please sit down."
He walked down her steps and sat on the couch. She looked at him, waiting patiently. He still sat silent.
She cleared her throat. "Garrus. I'm sorry you didn't know I've had other relationships with Turians in the past. I have since I was in the Alliance."
"Are you serious about him?" he asked pointing at her shoulder, afraid of her answer.
"No. Not at all."
"Serious enough for him to bite you."
She turned pink, "I like it rough like that. I had no idea you could still smell his scent on me after I showered. He was very nice, but no, there's no relationship and I have no plans to see him again."
"Then why, Shepard?"
That seemed like a strange question. "Why not, Garrus? You didn't react like this when Kaidan and I were together."
Garrus stood up and went over to look at her empty fish tank. "That's different. He's human."
"Okaaay. Not sure I follow your logic. Why does that matter?"
Garrus was flustered. "I don't know, it just does."
"Are you saying you're disgusted by human – Turian relationships?" Damn, he was starting to piss her off now.
"No, not at all."
She was getting exasperated. "I'm sorry, I just don't understand what this is all about. You acted like I had betrayed you-" it dawned on her.
"Is that it? Were you jealous? Jealous of me being with another Turian?"
He hung his head down.
"That's it, isn't it! You thought I was only interested in humans, that I was still with Kaidan. Then when you found out I wasn't with Kaidan and was with another Turian, you couldn't handle it."
"I…I'm sorry Jane. I never thought you would allow another Turian to mark you, even on your arm. I always pictured me being the only one to do that. I lost control, I'm so sorry."
He turned around to face her, "I've bonded with you on some level over all these years. When you chose Kaidan, I had to step back, keep my feelings for you in check. He's human like you, after all. But when I could see another Turian mark you, have his scent on you," he clenched his fists, "I was instinctively territorial, and I know I had no right to be. Please, please forgive me."
Shepard sat back on the couch stunned.
"Wait a minute, wait a minute. What feelings, Garrus? What exactly do you feel for me?"
He took a deep breath. "I'm in love with you."
All this time. All these years. She couldn't believe it. She started to cry.
"Spirits, Jane, I'm so stupid, I'm so sorry. Please, just let them throw me in the brig, I've been such an asshole to you today, I completely deserve it." He knelt down in front of her, completely dejected and disgusted with himself.
She looked up at him. "Dammit Garrus, do you know what you've put me through? I've been in love with you for years, since you first came on this ship. I've been with these other Turians as a substitute for you. Even Kaidan, I was trying to distract myself from how frustrated I was that you never returned my attentions. What the hell?" She stood up and punched him again on his arm and walked towards her desk. Her mind was reeling.
She turned around, standing by her desk holding her hands up to the sides of her head, "I…I just can't understand this. I practically threw myself at you on the SR1, and you completely ignored me. Now you're saying you were attracted to me?"
"Not at first, but by the time I was, you were starting a relationship with Kaidan."
"But, but…" she sputtered, "when you came back on board the SR2, you continued to push me away. I've been flirting with you like crazy!"
"I didn't know! You never said you weren't with Kaidan anymore. I don't know much about human females, I've never been with one before. I just," he sighed, "I didn't know what to do."
She shook her head, the more she thought about it the angrier she got. "You know what the ironic thing is, Garrus? Every time I was with those other guys, human, Turian, I was always thinking about you." She banged her fist on the table.
The com crackled, Commander, the Illusive man wishes to see you.
Shepard pushed a button on her com, "Not now, Miranda."
Sorry Shepard, it has to be now. He's been waiting for your report from Horizon. Please go down to the conference room. His call is cued up there.
Shepard looked up at the ceiling and took a few deep breaths. "I have to go, Garrus."
He nodded and she left for the elevators. She went down to the conference room and stood on the platform, suddenly cognizant of her appearance. She had a swollen, bruised eye, bandaged wrist, and had walked down there barefoot in sweats and a T-shirt. She hurriedly wiped the tear stains off her cheeks. Oh well, she thought, you said it couldn't wait.
The Illusive man raised an eyebrow at her appearance, but discussed the mission on Horizon with her nonetheless. At the end of their conversation, he said, "One more thing, Shepard."
She closed her eyes, bracing herself. "Yes?"
"There have been concerns voiced about your mental state. You seem pretty unraveled now. Is the stress of the mission getting to you?"
She crossed her arms and looked at him squarely. "Everyone has issues with their mental state, however there's never been a time I've compromised the mission or my crew."
"That is true, however-"
She interrupted him, "You brought me back to be me, and that's what you've got. You can't try to change who I am now. There's no control chip you can place in me and get the same results."
He was disappointed in Lawson's slip of that prior plan. "Understood Shepard. I'll be in touch."
He turned off the com link and Shepard walked off the platform. She stood in the room, leaning back against the conference table. "EDI, where is Garrus?"
He is in the main battery.
"Thanks, EDI"
I just can't deal with this anymore today, she thought. She didn't know where to go next. She didn't want to go back to her quarters. She couldn't really do anything because she was still healing. She wanted to talk to someone, but wasn't sure who. She sighed. She walked out and headed towards the mess hall. She was pretty sure Garrus wouldn't be coming out of his quarters anytime soon. She grabbed a meal, looking around at the crew. They were getting used to her extremes of appearance and lack of decorum at times. Miranda walked into the mess hall, and caught a look at Shepard.
"Don't, Miranda, just – don't." Shepard had had enough, and at least Miranda was savvy enough to notice that for once and back off.
Shepard popped the top on the box of her meal and turned to go, deciding to head for medbay instead. She entered and put her boxed meal on Chakwas' desk and sat down in her office chair. Doctor Chakwas was cleaning her instruments, and looked over at Shepard. She looked completely dejected and emotionally spent.
"Well, dear. What a mess today, huh?"
That was all it took. Tears started to fall down her face silently and she couldn't stop. Dr. Chakwas walked over to her and put her hand on her shoulder. Her motherly presence was something Shepard had allowed herself to rely on, and she so appreciated having her there as a crew member and a friend.
"Oh, Jane." She leaned over and did something she'd never done before. She gave her a hug. Shepard choked out tears as she felt Dr. Chakwas comforting arms around her. Her mother had been such a negative existence in her life, when she was left as a child to fend for herself, she'd blocked out that void. Now with Dr. Chakwas, she realized how much that was needed in her life, and was grateful to have it. She slowed down her breathing, and Dr. Chakwas let her go, reaching for the other chair to sit down in front of her.
Shepard wiped her eyes and brought up her omni-tool, turning off the Cerberus bugs in the room how EDI had shown her. She took a deep breath and started talking, starting with the SR1, how long she'd been in love with Garrus, had turned to Kaidan, which was a big mistake. She told her about her history of her love of Turians, which the doctor pretty much already knew. She talked about Avek and Tavin, what happened on Horizon with Kaidan, and what had really happened down in the cargo bay with Garrus. Dr. Chakwas handed her a glass of water, and she drank it, finishing up with detailing the conversation she'd had with Garrus in her quarters.
Dr. Chakwas listened, nodding her head, placing a hand on her leg when she became emotional. When Shepard finished, she looked up at Dr. Chakwas and leaned back in her chair. "I'm sorry, Doctor, I didn't mean to take up so much of your time. "
"Don't fret about that, Jane. I'm always here for you. You know that."
Shepard smiled wanly. "So, what do I do?"
Dr. Chakwas let out a long sigh. "What do you want to do?"
Shepard looked down at her feet. "I don't know. I love him, but I'm furious at him for the way he's acted and how much he's put me through."
"It sounds like he was trying to do the right thing. What did he do intentionally that was so bad?"
"He didn't tell me how he felt! This could all have been avoided if he had just been honest with me."
Chakwas laughed softly, "But didn't you do the same thing to him?"
"No, not at all."
"But you told him with subtlety in a language he couldn't understand. He has no romantic experience with humans, while you have knowledge about Turians, far more than he realized."
She shot Chakwas a look.
"It's true, Shepard. Try to see things from his perspective for a minute. He developed feelings for you late, you were in another relationship by then with Kaidan. He consoled himself by thinking you were never interested in him because of the interspecies differences. Today he found out he had lost time with you by thinking you were, what's the term? Bonded?"
Shepard nodded.
"He thought you were bonded with Kaidan. At the same time he thinks Jack's been whoring around with another Turian, and then he's shocked to find out it's you. His protective Turian instincts kicked in, he told you that, right?"
Shepard nodded again.
Chakwas continued, "and you know for yourself how primitive that can be. The higher functions of the brain shut down. Probably in his mind, he was your Turian, and when he saw and smelled that was not true, his emotions for you completely over took him. Even after you both calmed down, he was ready to be arrested for assaulting you. You should have seen how much he was beating himself up about it. He really does love you very much."
Shepard mulled over everything she said. She hadn't thought about anything from his perspective. He had gotten on his knees in her quarters and begged her to forgive him. He never accused her of being a slut, or anything. The only thing he had accused her of was not being with him. She should have been braver with him years ago, not expected him to figure out her feelings. She shook her head.
"Oh, Chakwas, I've really screwed everything up."
"Hey, don't start beating yourself up either. You both made mistakes, and mostly mistakes in communication and understanding because you are from different species, different backgrounds. As much as you wish things had gone smoother with Garrus, you have some memories of Avek and Tavin you wouldn't trade, right?"
She shrugged, "I guess so. Well… yes. They're important to me."
"It's a lot to think about and you don't have to decide anything now. We have a few days of down time, Jane." Dr. Chakwas stopped and looked out the window over her, and Shepard looked behind her shoulder to see what she was looking at. Garrus turned his head down quickly from where he sat in the mess hall looking up in the medbay window at Shepard talking to the doctor. Shepard looked back at Chakwas. "Thanks, doctor. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your advice."
Dr. Chakwas handed her the box of food, now cold. "Maybe you should go warm this up in the kitchen."
Shepard nodded and took it from her. She took a deep breath as she walked out of medbay and towards the kitchen. Garrus was still there, sitting at a table eating his food quietly. She heated up her food walked towards the elevator, stopping by his table to place her hand on his shoulder, giving him a light squeeze. She kept walking and went to the elevator and up to her quarters. She sat at her desk and ate her food, feeling better today for the first time. Dr. Chakwas' perspective helped her to think about the whole situation and decide what she wanted, and to prepare to ask Garrus where he wanted to go from here.
Seeing Shepard talk to Dr. Chakwas through the medbay window made Garrus' heart lurch. He could see she had been crying when she looked up at him watching her. He was determined to give her space, let her come to him. He had laid all his cards on the table, she needed to process it all, and he didn't want to push her any further. When she came out of medbay and heated up her food, he kept his head down, unsure of her reaction. The feel of her touch on his shoulder and gentle pressure had given him a hope that she would not continue to be mad at him. He turned to watch as she walked away with her box of food, likely going to her quarters. She would not have stayed in the mess hall with obvious signs of crying on her face. They wouldn't have been able to have a private conversation, either. He finished eating his food, and as he picked up his drink his omni-tool pinged. He saw a message from Shepard.
Garrus, I know we have a lot more to talk about, and I'm sorry for everything. I want you to know I love you so much, and please come up later to talk. Whenever you are able to.
He sighed with relief, and re-read the message. He knew she had just gone upstairs with her meal, so he decided to wait twenty more minutes before he went upstairs. He returned to his quarters, pacing in the main battery for the longest twenty minutes of his life. He thought about what he wanted to say, then walked out towards the elevator, forgetting everything on the way up. Honesty would have to be his only strategy. That, and groveling.
Shepard sat on her couch with a glass of wine, jumping at the sound of the code being put in her door. Her heart started racing as she saw him come in. "Shepard."
He walked down the stairs and saw she had taken yet another shower with wet hair hanging down her back. He felt guilty for making her feel embarrassed for something she had done that wasn't wrong.
"Hey," she said, "I have a glass for you, it's dextro wine."
He sat down next to her and took it from her, taking a sip. She looked at him and noticed for the first time he had a bruise on his face from where she'd punched him. She started to laugh. "We're a mess, Garrus." She reached up and gently touched over his nose. "Does it hurt much?"
"I should be asking you that, Shepard. Still don't know how exactly your eye got like that, the whole scene is a blur."
"Oh, the corner of the crate got me."
"And your wrist? It's not too bad?"
"No, I think I hurt it when I punched your face, then you finished it off when you pushed my hand away."
"So, I hurt your hand with my face?"
She grinned, "Exactly." They laughed.
Shepard let out a sigh, "Oh, Garrus. I'm so, so sorry."
"Jane, it's all my fault-"
"No, please," she interrupted him, "I need to say this. I don't know how you want to move on from here, but I meant everything I said earlier. Well, not as angrily, but I was honest when I said I've been attracted to you since you first came on the Normandy. I should have talked to you about it, but I was too afraid. I'd rather have your friendship than nothing at all." She came to this realization as she talked to him.
"I thought you weren't into humans, into me, so I turned to Kaidan as an alternative. I did have feelings for him at first, but we were so bad together, well, you know how that turned out. Anyhow, when I was spaced, you were the one I thought about as I was dying." She started to choke up and he reached over for her, hugging her.
"Oh, Jane."
She held him for a moment then pulled back. She wanted to make sure she said everything she needed to. She took a deep breath and continued, "After I was brought back by Cerberus, I tried to find you. I searched the databanks, even tried to contact the Shadow broker to find out. I thought you might be dead. Then when I found you on Omega as Archangel, and you almost died in front of me, I lost my mind. I know that doesn't compare to what you went through when I was dead for two years, but it did make me realize how much you meant to me."
"When we got back on the SR2, I wanted to tell you how I felt, but again I was afraid of losing your friendship. I thought if you didn't respond to my advances, you weren't interested. I never considered you might think I was still with Kaidan or not understand the messages I was trying to send you. I just got frustrated and blamed you, and turned to other Turians to help me try to forget how I felt about you. But I never really could. I just can't imagine my life without you, and I hope you can forgive me, I never meant to hurt you with my stubbornness and stupidity."
Garrus was overwhelmed by her speech and forthrightness. He was prepared to give her a speech and beg for her forgiveness, and instead it was the other way around. He felt understood by her for the first time. He reached up and held her face in his hand, careful not to touch her black eye. He leaned his head down and pressed his forehead against hers. She closed her eyes and felt at peace. In all her relationships with Turians before, none of them had made this intimate gesture with her.
He leaned back and she smiled up at him. "Jane, I'm so in love with you. There is nothing to forgive. I want to be with you, and want you to be my girlfriend."
She gasped. "Yes, yes, definitely!" She hugged him. She felt him wince from her pressure on his shoulder and pulled back. "Thank you, Garrus, for giving me a second chance."
"It's not like that, Jane. We weren't a couple when you were with those other Turians. I was wrong to act like that about it."
She placed her hand in his palm. "Let's move on Garrus, okay? We've wasted enough time." He nodded. He wanted to stay with her, spend the night with her, but with all her injuries, and with the other Turian's scent still lingering on her, he didn't want it to be awkward. Plus he had no idea about interspecies sex. He would have to do some research. To his relief she made the decision for him.
She looked up at him and stifled a yawn, "I've got a lot of work to finish up. I'm really behind, and want to be prepared for the next mission. Can I see you tomorrow?"
"Sure, Jane. Come down and get me and we'll have breakfast together." He gave her another embrace, and got up to leave. He stood at the door and looked back at her. She beamed up at him. "See you tomorrow." He said.
"Can't wait, Garrus."
The doors closed behind him and she contacted Dr. Chakwas on the com. "I need your help taking care of some things, Doctor. Do you have some free time in about thirty minutes?"
"Of course, Shepard. Come down when you're ready."
Shepard finished her reports quickly, then went down to medbay. Doctor Chakwas looked at her expression and smiled. "Have you worked things out, Jane?"
"Yes, thanks to you and your advice, we have. We had a good talk, and we agreed to move forward together. He even asked me to be his girlfriend."
"Well, that's wonderful! Glad to hear it." Doctor Chakwas was relieved.
"And, I do need your help with a private medical matter."
Doctor closed the shutters and locked the door. "What is it?"
Shepard started taking off her shirt, "When you helped me with these wounds, I didn't care about scars, in fact I wanted them. Now I'd like to get rid of them. I don't want Garrus to look at me and constantly see other Turians. The only marks I want on me are from him. Or battlescars, those are still okay. Is there any way you can remove them?"
Doctor Chakwas took a good look at her back, running her hand over the scars. "Yes, Shepard. I think I can get them down to nearly invisible. It will take a little time, though."
"How long do you think?"
"A couple of hours. Once I finish with one part, it can heal while I work on the next part. It's not painful, just time consuming."
"You can really do it in one night?"
"Oh, yes, no problem. Go ahead and strip down, I'll get some blankets and we'll get started. I need to work on those ones in the front I stitched up, too."
Shepard complied and Dr. Chakwas got to work. After almost two hours and a few breaks, she was finished. She looked back and turned Shepard around looking critically at her. She nuanced one more area on her back with the dermatool and then stood back. "I think you'll be pleased with how it turned out, Shepard. Since these were fairly new, it was easier to reconstruct the skin and smooth it out." Shepard could see from the front and over her shoulder that the marks were gone. Chakwas handed her clothes back to her, "Get dressed and take a good look upstairs in your bathroom mirror. If you see anything else you want me to work on, come back and I can fix it. Take a cool shower tonight and let the spray wash down on these areas for 10 minutes or so." Shepard nodded her head and got dressed. Another shower, that would make four today. That reminded her – "Doctor, do you have anything that would take away the scent of another Turian? You know, remove the pheromones or whatever? The showers I've been taking aren't doing it I think."
"Um, yes I might." She reached in her cabinet and brought out a plastic bottle and handed it to her. "This should help, it's used to soap up for surgery, so it really cleans and strips. Just make sure to completely rinse it off so it doesn't burn." Shepard took it from her and thanked her again.
She couldn't wait to look at her back in the mirror. As soon as she entered her quarters she stripped off her clothes and ran in the bathroom, examining her skin. She couldn't believe it, it was completely smooth. She looked closely – even the scratch lines on her back were gone. The bite marks, nothing was there, no red marks. Doctor Chakwas was a miracle worker. She had left her battle scars, she was pleased she had taken the time to leave those. She didn't look like the pristine Cerberus rebuild, and she was grateful for that. Remembering the doctor's instructions, she grabbed the soap she'd given her and got under cool water in the shower and lathered up all over, head to toe. She took the bandage off her wrist, she could get it re-wrapped tomorrow. She stood under it for the required ten minutes and stepped out. She threw all the clothes and sheets she'd used into the laundry shute. She'd have to get her armor scrubbed, too. What a freaking long day. She collapsed on the clean sheets on her bed and went immediately to sleep.
The next morning Shepard's omni-tool woke her up. She got up confused, then the events of the day before started playing around in her mind. She grinned, That's right, I'm Garrus' girlfriend now. She usually started her day off with a shower, but after the marathon sessions she'd spent in there yesterday, she decided to give her skin a break. She went to the bathroom and after using the toilet, she looked again at her back in the mirror. There were a few minor red spots here and there, but nothing that indicated the marks that were there before. She was so glad she had asked Chakwas to help her out. Hopefully this will give us a fresh start, she thought.
She dressed and made her way down to the mess hall, happy to see Garrus was already there, getting food together for them in the kitchen. She walked up to him and put her arm around his waist, leaning in for a hug. He leaned over her and was relieved there were no traces of the other Turian's scent on her anymore, just a faint medicinal smell. She must have gotten something from the doctor. He looked down at her and smiled. Instead of her being mad at him for overstepping his bounds by being angry at her for going out with someone else while she was actually single, she had gone out of her way to make him feel more comfortable and reassure him that he was the one that mattered to her. He leaned down and pressed his forehead to hers. "Good morning, Jane."
Her heart thrilled at the gesture again. "Mmm. Good morning Garrus." He pulled back and she looked at what he was getting together. "I see you made me a dextro breakfast. Thanks." She liked it when they could share, and liked even more that he knew that about her.
They sat at the table and ate together, Shepard wrapping her leg over his. They got a few pointed looks from a few of the crew, but she didn't care. The opinion of Cerberus crew on her love life meant nothing to her.
"Where's your bandage?"
She looked down at her wrist, "Oh, I took it off in the shower. I'll get it re-wrapped this morning."
"Please do. I want to make sure it heals properly."
She poked him in the ribs, "Is this the start of you being overprotective of me?"
Garrus laughed, "I would never dare. You'd kick my ass."
She leant her head back and laughed, then entwined her arm in his while she continued to eat.
"Did you get all your reports done last night?"
She frowned, "Most of them, but I had a project to work on that delayed me. I need to finish the rest of them up today."
"A project?"
She smiled coyly, "You'll see."
"Looking forward to it." They finished their breakfast together and sat and talked for a while. Other crew were milling into the mess to eat, not on a particular schedule since they were a few days away from Shepard being able to lead a mission. After the scene in the cargo bay and medbay yesterday, most of the crew were relieved to see things were back to normal.
Shepard went to medbay to get her wrist re-bandaged while Garrus stayed at the table sipping on his dextro coffee. When Shepard came out of Dr. Chakwas' office, Jack and Kasumi had joined him at the table.
"Ohhh, Shep, I'm still not over Illium. I don't think I'll ever be able to eat ramen again." Kasumi said, rubbing her temples.
"Been puking it up, have you?"
"Ugh, ever since."
Jack looked at Shepard's black eye. "What the hell happened to you?"
Shepard reached up to touch it, "Oh, nothing. A little misunderstanding between friends."
Jack looked over at the bruise still evident on Garrus' face. She pointed at them with her fork, "Why don't you guys just fuck and get it over with?"
Garrus started coughing on his coffee.
"Jack!" Kasumi said.
"Actually, Jack, Garrus and I have plans to do just that." Shepard wrapped her hand in Garrus' on the table.
Jack grinned, "Really? Well, glad you two finally came to your senses."
Kasumi looked inquisitively at Garrus and Shepard. Were they just messing with Jack, or was there something really going on here?
Miranda came in the mess hall and walked purposefully over to Shepard. "I hate to have to confront you here Shepard, but you have repeatedly ignored my requests for a report on what happened in the cargo bay yesterday." She stood and crossed her arms.
"Just a little foreplay, cheerleader. You should try it sometime." Jack said, looking up at her wickedly.
Miranda became flustered and turned back to Shepard, "Commander-"
"Miranda," Shepard said, frustrated, "let it go."
She put her hands on the table, "I must insist-"
Garrus stood up, "And I must insist that you leave my girlfriend alone. The matter is closed." He reached down for Shepard's hand and she took it.
Kasumi looked approvingly up at them, "Nice, Shep."
Miranda hadn't seen that coming. She was gathering her thoughts when Jack stood up and got close to her and grabbed her shoulder. "Don't get mad sweetheart, just because you can't get a piece of action on this ship." She leaned over and whispered something in her ear. Miranda froze and turned bright red. Jack leaned back, looking confused.
Miranda cleared her throat. "Fine, Commander, Garrus. Consider it closed." She hesitated a second, then Jack let go. She turned and went back to her quarters.
"Well," said Kasumi, "this has certainly been an entertaining morning. We should have breakfast together more often."
They all sat back down. Shepard looked over at Garrus accusingly. "What?" he asked. She smiled, "What happened to not being overprotective?"
"Yeah," he said, "It's a Turian thing. Can't help it."
She laughed, "I don't want you to help it. I love it."
They looked at Jack who was sitting silently still looking in the direction of Miranda's door. "Just what did you say to her, Jack?" Kasumi asked.
"Huh, what?"
Kasumi, Garrus and Shepard all looked at each other. They'd never seen Jack flustered before. "Oh, I was trying to get under her skin, but now I'm thinking it worked too well." she mused.
"What do you mean?" Kasumi asked.
Jack looked back at them, refocusing. "I told her I wanted to stick my tongue between her legs."
Shepard facepalmed while Kasumi's mouth hung open. Garrus shook his head.
"Christ, Jack, seriously?" Shepard said.
"I expected her to punch me in the face, but she didn't."
"No, because she was totally shocked and embarrassed." Shepard said.
"Yea, but she gasped and put her hand on my back. I could feel her biotics snap. That's what happens when you're aroused. You guys didn't see that?"
They looked at each other, eyes wide. Did Miranda really?
"Hmm. I may have to think of her in a whole new light." Jack said, turning back to her breakfast. "I think I'll be hitting that later."
"Geez, Jack." Shepard said.
"Hey, I'm not one to waste time waiting like you two. Don't worry, I'll give you all the details."
"Ugh, please don't." Garrus said.
They finished their breakfast, Garrus returning to the main battery to get caught up on his work. Shepard did the same, with all the drama of the past few days, she was seriously behind. She needed to review reports from various sections of the ship and answer her emails. She had lunch in her quarters and worked on her reports until later that night. She ate dinner with Kasumi in her quarters, talking girl talk about the events of the last few days. Kasumi was finally over her hangover, and able to eat something. "I don't hold my liquor as well as you do, Shep."
"Well, I don't mix it with ramen."
"Ugh, please, don't mention that for at least a few more days." Kasumi made a gagging sound. She pointed at Shepard's eye. "Looks like your eye is getting better."
"Yea, Dr. Chakwas is taking care of it."
Shepard got a ping on her omni-tool and checked it, smiling.
"Your boyfriend?" Kasumi asked.
She smiled and nodded. She loved hearing him called her boyfriend. "We're making plans for tonight."
"You should have him move in with you. I mean, why not? You could spend more time together."
Shepard raised her eyebrows, "I, uh, never thought of that. But, it would be nice. Maybe I'll talk to him about that tomorrow. One step at a time."
"Yea, but you guys have known each other for years. I would move in with Jacob in a second."
Shepard leaned forward, "Then why don't you take your own advice and tell him how you feel?"
Kasumi waved her off, "Oh, I have. Several times. He's not interested. Doesn't mean I've completely given up though."
"Oh, I'm sorry."
"Don't worry, I can always watch him on the vidfeed." She smiled and laughed.
Shepard got up to go. "See you tomorrow Kasumi."
"Have fun. Glad things have worked out for you guys, no one deserves to be happy more than you, Shep."
"Thanks, Kasumi, you're a good friend."
She walked out and took the elevator up to her quarters. She changed the code on the door so she could have privacy with Garrus. The rest of the crew would have to get used to being locked out. She thought about Kasumi's suggestion that Garrus move in with her. She would love to have them live there together. Since they weren't on an Alliance ship, there were no regs that they would be breaking. They wouldn't have to sneak around. Would he like to do that? And so soon? She wouldn't bring it up tonight, it would be a little too much on their first night together.
She took a shower and looked again at her body in the mirror. The marks were still gone, he would be so surprised. She smiled thinking about his reaction. She changed into a tank top and sleep shorts, anticipating he would be there any minute. She sat on her couch and waited, idly listening to music and towel drying her hair.
Garrus paced in his quarters. He'd spent the last few hours doing research on human-turian sexual relations, and it was a bit overwhelming. He knew Shepard had experience, but he had none, with humans anyway, and didn't want to offend or hurt her. Finally he decided he could research for another week and not feel any more prepared so it was time to go. He changed into his casuals and started out towards the elevator. Taking deep breaths, he tried to calm down on the ride up. At her door he his code didn't work. Must be nerves. He punched it in again, then the door opened with Shepard leaning in the doorway. "I changed the code so no one else has free access anymore." She smiled and moved away so he could come in, and she told him the new code. As she walked away he allowed himself to admire her lean legs, her long beautiful hair. He had never given himself permission to look at her that way before, but now he was free to do so. She sat on her couch and looked up at him. "Wow, you look scared shitless, Garrus."
He sighed, "I'm sorry Jane, I've spent all day doing research, and it's just confused me more."
She put her towel down and stood up and got some wine. She poured them both a glass and handed him one. "Do you have any questions you want to ask me?"
"Um, no, not yet."
"Well, let's just enjoy ourselves and see where things take us."
She sat back next to him and drew her knees up under her. She took a drink and put her head on his shoulder. He leaned over and took in her scent. He'd smelled it plenty times before, but tonight everything took on a new meaning. They sat together for a little while and he finished his drink. He sat the glass back down on the table and leaned back on the couch. She looked up at him and started stroking his shoulder with her hand, moving up towards the back of his fringe. She entangled her fingers and gently started pulling on it. Garrus reached his hand down and started stroking her leg. She sat up and on top of him, straddling his legs. She leaned forward and started gently stroking his neck with her hand while lightly licking his mandibles. Spirits, she 's driving me wild. He thought. He reached up under her shirt and gently started rubbing her back. Mmmm, she thought, this is going to be easier than I thought.
He let out a low growl, entangling his hand in her hair. He gave it a hard tug pulling her head back. "Ow!" Crap, I was wrong, she thought.
"Spirits, what happened?" Garrus' eyes got wide.
She chuckled, "Human hair isn't like your fringe, it's sensitive at the scalp. No big deal."
"I'm sorry Jane." He looked upset.
"Garrus, it's okay. We're both going to make mistakes. It's going to be a bit awkward, but that's not a problem, we'll figure it out. Don't worry, I'm not going to get mad at you if something doesn't go right." She cupped his face in her hands and gave him a kiss. He started to relax and returned her kiss. This part he had read about extensively. She was pleasantly surprised when he tentatively licked her lower lip. She opened, allowing him to explore her mouth. He thrilled at the sensation of her pink tongue playing with his. Her taste was exotic and intoxicating. She pulled back and leaned over and placed light kisses on his neck. He started a low growl again. She pulled at his shirt, whispering in his ear, "Take it off."
He complied, and she raked her hands over his chest. She had waited years to see him like this, it was like her fantasy come true. She felt in the folds of his carapace as he watched. She hesitated a moment, then took her tank top off, revealing she had no bra on underneath. His eyes widened at the sight of her bare breasts and he instinctively reached up and started caressing them. This was another topic he had done research on. She gasped at the feel of his rough hands on her, his warmth sending shivers down her spine. "Are you okay?" he asked.
"Yeah, I make noises like that when it's a really nice feeling."
"Oh, good."
"Let's move over to the bed." She stood up and pulled him by his hand, seeing he had filed his talons down. As he stood up, she wrapped her arms around him and gave him a warm embrace. The feel of her skin against his was entrancing, and he started to feel his plates start to shift. He pulled back and reached down pulling his boots off. He took off his pants and stood in front of her naked. She had seen plenty of Turians naked before, but this was Garrus. She looked at him adoringly. She took her shorts off quickly reached out for him again. He took her into his arms again and stroked her hair. She could feel his plates were completely shifted and his erection was pushing against her. She instinctively reached down and wrapped her hands around him. Garrus let out a loud growl as he felt her squeeze him and rub her fingers over his ridges.
Damn he's big. Shepard couldn't wait to feel him inside her. She let go and took his hand, placing it at her opening, gently moving his finger around the outside. He could feel her wetness, it surprised him.
"Oh, yessss." Shepard leaned her head on his chest. It felt so good.
She pulled away and smiled coyly. She turned around to get on the bed.
"What the hell?" Garrus said.
"What? What?" Shepard snapped back around.
"Your back, all those marks, they're all gone." Garrus held her arm out and got behind her, looking closer at her.
"Oh, I forgot. Dr. Chakwas helped me. That was the project I was telling you about."
Garrus let go and she turned back around to face him. "I wanted to make sure that any mark on me was from you, and only you."
He didn't know how to react. He was touched by her consideration of him, yet felt ashamed of how he had made her feel badly. She hadn't done anything wrong being with other Turians, it was his issue with it, and he was over it.
"I did it for both of us, Garrus. We have a fresh start. Come on, let's get in bed."
She crawled in and he followed her, laying down beside her. He stroked her side as she snuggled up next to him. "Jane, I want you to know, you don't need to be ashamed of being with those other guys. I reacted badly, but I know you're not a virgin. I'm not either-"
"Garrus, I know. You would never be a jerk like that. I know how much marks mean to a Turian, and now that we're together, I feel like a different person, and I want my body to reflect that." She reached across his chest and pulled herself over on top of him. She reached over to her side table and got the lotion she kept there. She took some out, rubbing it over her inner thighs and abdomen, sitting up over him. He watched entranced as she smiled down at him. He gasped as she sat back down and rubbed on his plates. The feel of her hair and her juices flowing down on him immediately got him excited again and it was her turn to gasp when she felt him start to push between her folds. His tip entered her slightly and she placed her hands on his chest and looked down at him intensely as she lowered herself down on him. He growled and leaned his head back as he felt her envelope him in her hot, wet core. "Spirits Jane, you feel amazing."
She started rocking slowly back and forth. He reached his hands around and gripped her hips, digging his blunt talons into her. She moaned. "Sorry, did I hurt you?"
"Garrus, I like it rough, remember? If you really hurt me, I'll tell you. I'm a Turian at heart." She smiled and grabbed his fringe, giving it a hard pull. He thought she was too beautiful to mark up, but he liked knowing she could take it a little rough. She started panting and he felt her walls gripping him harder. He remembered reading about this, when human females climax. Feeling close himself, he thrust into her a few more times and she screamed out. He felt his own release and they climaxed together. She held onto him as she started to relax, and looked up at him, kissing him passionately. "That was everything I hoped it would be."
He was relieved. "I must admit, I was pretty nervous, but it felt incredible. You are fantastic."
She smiled and kissed him again. She started to move up to pull off of him and lay next to him, sighing with contentment. She rubbed her hands over his chest as he stroked her back and down her round ass. "Mmm, you feel so good."
"You did too. Ready for another go?" Shepard asked.
Garrus was surprised, "What? But you climaxed, right?"
"Yea, but that doesn't matter. We're not like Turian females. Human females can do that more than once."
Garrus' eyes widened. This was a plus for being with a human female he hadn't read about. "Do you really mean?"
She reached over and felt his increasing erection, grabbing it. "Oh, yea. But this time we do it your way." She sat up and got on all fours, inviting him to get behind her. He growled and jumped up, placing his legs behind her and gripping her hips. He reached down, remembering how much she'd liked it, and placed his finger inside her, feeling her wetness dripping down. She moaned in ecstacy. He lightly raked his talons down her back and she responded, "Yes, please, yes." He gripped her hip and took her roughly as she threw her head back, screaming in ecstacy, "Yes, yes!" His primitive Turian instincts started taking over as his fears abated and he relentlessly thrust into her. She felt waves of pleasure over her again and again. So many years she had dreamed of this happening, and she couldn't believe she was so lucky. "Garrus, I love you, I love you."
He barely heard her as he reached down and grabbed her by the waist and sat back on the bed, holding her sitting on top of him, grinding her hips down on him. She gasped as she felt him biting lightly on her back. Her noises, her movements, her scent, it drove him further into his pleasure at possessing her. She suddenly screamed out as she was surprised by climaxing again so soon. He held onto her shoulders and bit down on her neck, hard, as he found his own physical release. "Oh, god!" she yelled, and felt again his hot juices inside her. He licked at the wound he'd made on her neck, and their panting became slower as he pulled her off him and down on the bed. They were both completely spent, and Garrus was soon fast asleep, his arm protectively over her waist. Shepard lay on the bed, in complete bliss. She reached up and felt where he had placed his mark on her neck. She grinned in satisfaction. He marked her as his bondmate. She looked over at him. He was asleep. Wow, she thought, I never thought I could be so happy. Soon she was asleep, protected in his arms.
Garrus woke up a few hours later, Shepard in a deep sleep. He stretched and tried to remember the last part of their love-making. Once he was in primitive mode, he tended to get more violent. With a Turian female, that was no big deal, but with a human, he didn't want to hurt her. She was facing away from him, and he looked at the light scratches he'd made on her back. That wasn't too bad. He was determined not to scar her up too much. If they were going to be in a relationship for a while, he didn't want her to have to wear a back full of scars, no matter how much she thought she was like a Turian. He snuggled up to her and drew in a quick breath when he saw his bite mark on her neck. Shit! he thought, now I've really screwed up. He now vaguely remembered doing it, he had been so carried away by the intensity all logical thought went out the airlock. He looked more closely at it. It was deep, and would definitely scar. Spirits, he hadn't meant to do something like that so soon. She was going to be pissed when she woke up. She probably didn't realize it at the time, too much in the moment like he had been. He slowly got up and went to her bathroom. He'd better take care of it before she woke up in the morning. As he got the medigel out of the cabinet, he silently cursed his carelessness. To place a bondmark on a female was the ultimate demonstration of the couple's lifelong commitment to each other. Not only hadn't he asked her if he could do it, he hadn't invited her to reciprocate. To do so prematurely in a relationship usually meant the end of it. It was an insult to do something so intimate, so permanent without permission. Dammit, he had been in a relationship with her for one day, and already he almost had her break up with him. He walked carefully out of the bathroom, and knelt in front of her at the side of the bed. He pushed her hair away and applied medigel to the bite. He waited 5 minutes and gently, carefully applied another coat taking care to smooth the edges. Having caught it so early, it should be completely healed up by the morning. He breathed in a sigh of relief. He put the medigel back in the bathroom, and crawled back in bed with her. He looked again at it and smiled. It was working already. She probably wouldn't even be able to tell. He fell back asleep.
Shepard's alarm went off for the third time as she gave up and sat up on the edge of the bed, rubbing her eyes. She looked back to see Garrus smiling up at her, rubbing his hand over her arm. "Don't go so soon." He said.
She smiled, "I'm just going to the bathroom, I promise. I'll be right back."
She grabbed a robe out of her drawer and went to the bathroom, reliving the events of last night. She used the toilet and washed her hands, looking at her reflection. She leaned over to look at herself. He loves me. I can't believe it. She felt like she was living a dream. She turned to go back to his warm arms waiting for her when she caught something in the mirror. Frowning, she reached up to her neck and felt – nothing. Wait a minute, she felt the other side of her neck – nothing. She took her robe off and pulled up her hair examining her neck more closely turning side to side. Where was it? Had she dreamt it? He had placed a bonding mark on her, she was sure of it. What the hell had happened to it? She put the robe back on and went back to the bed, looking around, trying to figure out what happened.
"Hey, what's wrong? Are you feeling okay?" Garrus asked.
"No, I don't- there! I knew it!" She saw blood on pillow where she had laid down initially. Red blood, it had to be hers.
Garrus turned to see it, "Spirits, did I hurt you?"
She frowned, "No, I just don't get it." and she put her hand up to her neck to where she had the bondmark the night before.
Garrus swallowed hard. She must have remembered. Damn. Hopefully she wouldn't be too upset about it, would understand how much she drove him past the point of sanity.
He sat up and sighed, "I'm sorry. It was a mistake."
Shepard felt the blood drain from her head, "A…a mistake?" she repeated.
"But I took care of it, it's gone."
She opened her mouth, but no sound came out. He looked up at her puzzled. Her reaction was hard to read. He tried to explain himself more. "I got carried away, I'm really sorry."
"A mistake?" she said again dumbly.
He nodded his head.
Everything she thought about last night changed in that moment. He didn't want a relationship with her, he was willing to have sex with her, but that was it. She turned around and silently walked away up her stairs.
"Jane?"
Oh my god. He didn't love her in the same way. He wanted friends with benefits. She put her face in her hands. She felt like an idiot. She felt heat on her face and rage building up inside her. He had possessed her, and now not only did he not want to bond with her, their friendship was ruined. Why had he asked her to be his girlfriend? Well, he didn't ask her to be his wife. Fuck!
She felt a hand on her arm and she snapped out of her thoughts.
"Jane? I really didn't mean to."
"Yes Garrus. I heard you. I heard you the first time. I get it, okay! You never wanted to bond with me. Fuck! Get out! Just get the fuck out!" She was screaming, her face red with hurt and rage. Garrus stood stunned and watched her go in her bathroom, locking the door. He knocked on the bathroom door, "Jane, please open the door, I need to talk to you."
"Garrus, if you don't leave in the next minute, I'll have EDI send Cerberus soldiers up to physically remove you from my quarters. So I suggest you leave, now!" she started choking up.
Garrus had no time to process the turn of events, he knew from the tone of her voice she was serious and would carry through with her threat. He quickly got his clothes on and started towards her door, hearing her sobbing through the bathroom wall. He hesitated by the bathroom door, but he heard her start to talk to EDI on her omni-tool and quickly exited her quarters, going down the elevator. As much as he wanted to talk to her, he knew there was no way that was going to happen yet.
"Never mind, EDI." Shepard said as she heard her door close. She sat on the bathroom floor a few more minutes until she couldn't cry any more. Her disappointment and hurt was too great, and turned into anger. She tore the sheets off the bed and threw them in the laundry chute, then went to the shower and scrubbed herself off. And to think I had all those other marks removed for him, for him! She thought. I open my heart to him, and he calls bonding with me a mistake. I'm a mistake. Fucking hell. This is why I chickened out before. This is exactly why. She leaned against the wall of the shower and fought back tears.
Garrus went down the elevator, his mind reeling. He knew a Turian female would be furious with him for placing a bondmark on her their first night together, a human female must react more intensely. He really didn't know what he was doing, he thought. Spirits, he would somehow have to fix this. He got off the elevator and walking past the mess hall, Kasumi was getting some tea.
"Hey Garrus, good morning." she called out as his strode purposefully past her without a glance and marched to his quarters. She frowned, "Uh, oh. Looks like trouble in paradise already."
Shepard finally turned the water off and looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were red and puffy. Dammit, she was tired of crying over him. She wiped her eyes. She turned around and looked at her back. His light scratches were still there. She turned back around. Hmm. I guess I'm good for that, but not good enough for a bondmark. She let out a yell and punched the mirror. Glass broke all over her sink. She looked up at her hand, it was bleeding, glass sticking out of her knuckles. Goddammit. She picked out a few pieces and went for her medicine cabinet for the medigel. It was almost empty. She realized, that's what he meant when he said he'd taken care of it. He'd snuck out in the middle of the night and put medigel on the bite to heal it up. That's why it healed so fast. Son of a bitch.
She put the little bit of medigel she still had over her knuckles and took the bandages out of the cabinet, wrapping her hand. She got dressed, not knowing where she was going to go, but knowing she didn't want to stay in her cabin. This is why the Alliance has regs against fraternization, she thought ruefully. She knew Garrus would be hiding out in his quarters. Glad I didn't ask him to move in with me, she thought. Hearing him tell me I'm not worth that type of arrangement would have been hard to hear. She got in the elevator and went down to engineering. She didn't want to face Chakwas or Kasumi and tell them what a fool she'd been. She got off the elevator and suddenly talking to Tali didn't seem like a good idea either. She had zero experience in relationships. She walked down the stairs to Jack's quarters. She knew she had been with Turians before also, and she wanted someone she could talk to that would get her frustration with the whole thing.
She knew Jack was an early riser, she often worked out in the mornings before she went up to the mess for breakfast. She looked around. She wasn't there. She sat on her cot and waited a few minutes. It wasn't even 07:00 yet.
"EDI, is Jack in the mess hall?" Shepard asked.
No, Commander. Jack is in Operative Lawson's quarters.
"Really?" Shepard pursed her lips in surprise.
She has been there since 22:16 last night
"Okay, EDI, I've heard enough."
Would you like me to contact her?
"No, absolutely not."
Shepard hung her head in her hands. She really didn't have any one to turn to. "What a mess." She said aloud. She stayed down in Jack's quarters for the better part of an hour, trying to figure out what happened and what to do about it. Why had he told her he loved her, touched foreheads with her? Was he that much of a game player? She was getting a migraine thinking about it all.
"Hey, are we trading quarters now? Because I'd love to have your sweet set-up."
Shepard looked up to see Jack walking towards her. She plopped down on her cot next to her. "Hey Shepard, what's up?"
She kept looking down. "I just needed somewhere to go to be alone for a while."
Jack leaned back against the wall. "I hear that."
They sat in silence for a little while. That was something Shepard liked about Jack. She wasn't the intrusive type. She might be blunt, but she wouldn't pry.
"When do we get to Citadel?"
"Um, tomorrow, I think."
"Okay."
After a few more minutes, Jack got up. "You can stay here as long as you'd like, Shepard. It's your ship. I'm going to get a shower." She grabbed some clothes from her locker. She stopped and pointed at her hand, "You might want to have the doc look at that. I think you're going to need some stitches."
Shepard looked down at the blood seeping through the bandages. She looked up at Jack, "Spending too much time with Lawson? You're not going to turn into a mother hen too, are you?"
Jack smirked, "Never."
"So…you were right about Lawson, huh?"
Jack grinned, "Me and the Cheerleader? Well, it was everything I thought it would be. Actually, more." She turned to leave up the stairs for the showers, and Shepard smiled weakly at her, remembering that's what she had said to Garrus last night too.
Well, she wasn't going to cower in the cargo hold the rest of her life. Her hand was starting to smart from shards of glass still in it. She went back up the stairs and got in the elevator, getting off and heading to medbay. The doors opened and she stopped short as she saw Garrus in there talking to Dr. Chakwas. He turned around to see her in the doorway, "Jane!" she turned around immediately and left for the elevator closing the doors quickly as she heard Garrus trying to catch up to her.
"EDI, make sure no one has access to my floor for the rest of the day."
Yes, Commander.
She sighed as she got off at her quarters again. The doors opened and she entered. She was starting to calm down, and now just feel more sadness about the whole situation. I suppose I was a stress reliever for him. Damn. Was there ever going to be a man who didn't let her down? Maybe she just needed to focus on her work and forget about a personal life. There would always be plenty of work to do. She sighed and got some snacks out of her cabinet and ate. She turned her omni-tool on, then off again when she saw the barrage of messages from Garrus, and Kasumi.
"EDI? Please block all pings and calls unless it's an emergency, please."
Of course, Commander.
She worked on reports for a few hours, then stopped to eat some more snacks. She wished she could go down to the mess, but there was no way she was leaving her quarters. She worked on reports another hour. The Illusive man will be impressed, she thought, making a face. After a while EDI's voice interrupted the silence.
Commander, requests you let her up to bandage your hand. She wanted me to tell you Jack had mentioned it. She also wanted me to tell you she was not coming up to talk about anything you didn't want to talk about.
Shepard sighed. She didn't want to act like a petulant child, and she was getting some blood on her desk. "Okay, EDI, tell her she can come up. Alone."
Dr. Chakwas pushed the button on her door, and Shepard opened it for her. "I tried to enter the code, Shepard."
"I know, Doctor. I changed it. Thanks for coming."
Chakwas put her bag of supplies on her desk. "Let's go in your bathroom to do this."
As they entered, she looked at the sink and said, "Well, I see what happened." Glass was still shattered all over the sink with blood on it. "Let's do this on your coffee table instead." She grabbed a couple of her towels and got set up as Shepard sat on the couch. They sat in silence as she removed the glass from the back of her hand and cleaned it, and wrapped it. Doctor Chakwas cleaned up her supplies and stood up. "Now you have a matched set," she said, pointing to the bandage on her other wrist.
Shepard smiled, and walked her to the door. "Thanks again doctor, you're a good friend."
got in the elevator and turned to face her. "As your friend, I want to tell you I'm sorry. And I'm disappointed in you."
Shepard was shocked, she felt like she had been slapped in the face.
"I suggest you read up on Turian culture. You apparently know much less about it than you think you do." she pushed the button and looked at Shepard with irritation until the doors closed.
Shepard walked back inside her quarters. She didn't know what Garrus had said to her, but it must have been pretty one-sided. She didn't even ask Shepard what she thought about it. Oh, that's right, I told her I wouldn't talk about it at all.
She sat back on her couch feeling more alone than ever. Suddenly she missed the very person who was causing her all this pain. Garrus. He had taken away her best friend, too. She hated feeling like her ship was the last place she wanted to be. What was that had said, she didn't know about Turian culture? What was that all about? She knew plenty. More than he did about human culture. Damn him. As much as Kaidan had made things uncomfortable for her, this situation with Garrus was ten times worse. That was because she was actually in love with Garrus. She pulled out a bottle of wine. Here's to forgetting about the pain, she thought, and poured herself a glass. As she drank she thought again about Dr. Chakwas' comments. She was disappointed in her? That hurt. She didn't see what she had to be so disappointed about. She continued to drink and without eating much but a few snacks that day, she started to get pretty drunk. She watched some vids, fell asleep, then woke up and had a few more drinks. She decided to go see Miranda. She wanted to make sure she didn't blab to the Illusive man about what was going on the ship. She got on the elevator and made it down to her floor, falling against the outside of the elevator as she got off. She was having a hard time staying upright. She walked past the mess hall, there were only a few people in there this late at night. She pushed the button on Miranda's door and it opened. She walked in to see Jack hanging out in the chair while Miranda worked at her desk. Shepard frowned. This was the scene that should be playing out in her quarters with her and Garrus.
"Commander." Miranda looked up at her, surprised. "What do you need?"
"What do I need." Suddenly she couldn't quite remember why she came down. She sat down in the chair. "I'm not sure what I need."
"Well, take your time, Shepard." Miranda folded her hands together on her desk.
Jack sat up in her chair, "She's drunk."
Miranda looked at Shepard more closely, "Are you, Commander?"
"Maybe I am, and you know what?" She pointed at Miranda, "that's totally my business."
"Um, yes Commander."
Shepard stood up. "I'm glad we could come to an understanding."
Jack snorted, and Miranda smirked and said, "Uh, no problem Commander. Maybe you should go back to your quarters and lay down a little bit. You look tired."
"Yes, but if I do, that is my decision." She pointed to herself and swayed back and forth slightly.
Jack was laughing now, and Miranda stood up and walked an unsteady Shepard to her door. "You're right Commander, you're in charge, and what you say goes."
Shepard nodded and they walked together towards the elevator. "Maybe you should get something from the doctor, you're going to have a nasty hangover tomorrow." Miranda tried to stay away from her breath, she reeked of alcohol.
"NO. No. She is not my friend. You, you are my friend." Shepard started to cry. "You're my best friend, right Miranda?"
Miranda rolled her eyes, but said, "Of course, Commander. We're best friends." She walked her to the elevator and got on it with her, pushing the button for her floor. EDI locked her out, per Shepard's earlier instructions for her not to let anyone up to her floor.
"Fine, EDI, I think she'd be better off in medbay anyway. She's a potential danger to herself alone." Miranda walked her back off the elevator and to medbay. They entered, and Dr. Chakwas got off her bed in the back, wrapping a robe around herself. Miranda helped her on one of the beds. Shepard passed out.
"Doctor, I know it's late and you were in bed, but she's a mess. I don't think she should be alone in her quarters tonight."
"Thanks, Miranda, you're right. I'll look after her."
Miranda left and Dr. Chakwas sighed, looking down at her. She gave her a shot to help her with the inevitable headache in the morning and pulled a blanket up over her. She went back to her bed and went to sleep.
In the morning, late morning, Shepard woke up, looking around Dr. Chakwas' office, confused. The doctor was sitting at her desk typing. Shepard sat on the edge of the medbay cot, then grabbed her head and moaned as the throbbing intensified.
"Well, you're up, Sleeping Beauty."
"Who?"
"Nevermind. Have a headache, do you?"
"Splitting. Too much dextro wine. How did I end up here? Did you bring me down?"
Dr. Chakwas smiled, "No, Miranda brought you in here."
"Miranda? The last thing I remember is drinking in my quarters."
"Well, you went to Miranda's quarters, apparently, and she was so concerned about your state she brought you in here."
Shepard thought back, she vaguely remembered being in Miranda's quarters, Jack sitting in the room. She couldn't remember any details about it.
"Damn, do you have anything I can take for this?"
"I gave you a shot last night, but I can give you some pills to take now with plenty of water." Chakwas got it for her and handed it to her.
"Thanks doctor." She took them. Looking up for the first time, she could see the crew eating through the medbay window. Joker looked up at her and waved.
"Dammit. I have no credibility with my crew after these past few days."
Chakwas laughed, "Oh, I wouldn't put it that strongly."
Shepard got off the bed, determined to make it back to her quarters and clean herself up. She leaned against the bed, fighting nausea off. "Well, thanks Doctor. I appreciate it."
"Oh, don't leave yet. I've got someone coming to see you."
"What?"
She walked over to her and put her arm on Shepard's shoulder. "I've messaged Garrus and asked him to come to medbay to talk to you."
She pulled away from doctor Chakwas, "No way, Doctor, I'm leaving."
Doctor Chakwas pushed the button to pull down the metal shutters on the window. Shepard could hear Joker outside saying, "Oh, man!" in disappointment.
Dr. Chakwas got in Shepard's face. "Now you look here, I'm not talking to you as a doctor, I'm talking to you as a concerned friend. You didn't follow my directions yesterday to research Turian culture, did you?"
Shepard shook her head no.
"I knew it. Well, Garrus is going to come by and explain it to you, and you are going to listen, do you hear me? And don't dare leave medbay until you two have worked it out. I've had it to here with your stubbornness and you're going to mess up the best chance you have at happiness if you don't get your shit together."
Shepard was shocked into silence by this outburst. She'd never had anyone care about her enough to talk to her like that before, well, except Anderson. "Okay." She said to a surprised Chakwas. She'd half expected Shepard to pull rank on her and tell her off. Dr. Chakwas walked back to her desk turning off her computer when Garrus came into medbay. He looked very nervous. Shepard crossed her hands over her chest and tightened her lips. Dr. Chakwas turned to go, "You remember what I said Jane, I meant it." She left and the door closed behind her.
Garrus looked at Shepard and walked over to her. "Jane, I-" he got close enough and Shepard slapped him in the face. He stepped back, stunned.
"How dare you, how dare you Garrus!"
"I tried to explain to you yesterday-"
"Oh yea you did, you made yourself crystal clear. I don't know what you've said to to make her mad at me, she's like a mother to me, and now I don't have my best friend, I don't have my mom, and I don't have a boyfriend either." She leaned over, putting her hands in her face sobbing.
Garrus was at a loss, every time he tried to say or do anything, it made things worse. "I talked to Dr. Chakwas to get some advice. I don't know about human relationships and culture, and I needed help. She knows you and I knew she would be discrete."
Shepard looked up and tried to regain her composure. She wiped tears from her face, "Why Garrus, why? Now it's my turn to ask you why!"
He took a deep breath, "I was trying not to upset you-"
She interrupted him, "I was so dumb, I fell for it."
Now he was really confused, "Fell for what? What do you mean?"
"I thought you really loved me, I thought you might want something more with me, something, oh, forget it. It was a mistake, right? Isn't that what you called me? Your mistake? Well, you don't have to worry, I won't be imposing myself on you anymore."
Garrus started to get angry. "Shepard, would you just listen! I've been trying to explain to you." He started to pace around in frustration. He stood in front of her and grabbed her by the shoulders. "I do love you!"
She started to talk, and he stopped her, "Please, just, just don't say anything for a little while. I know you're angry and obviously very hurt. I need to talk to you, and I need you to listen to me, really listen to me." She shrugged her shoulders.
He let go of her and pulled a chair over sitting down. He motioned to the bed and she sat on it, facing him. Garrus started, "Last night I meant everything I said. I'm not a liar, Jane. When I said it was a mistake, I meant giving you a bondmark was a mistake. Being with you is not a mistake."
Shepard looked at him impassively.
"How much do you know about bondmarks?" Garrus asked.
Shepard cleared her throat, "I know it's a mark you put on your partner on the neck to signify you are bonded, that you have mated and are committed to each other."
"Anything else?"
"Well," Shepard thought about it, "People at bars sometimes try to cover it up so they can pass as single and cheat on their mate. And, if you break up with someone, you get it removed so you can move on."
"Is that what you think I did with you, break up with you?"
"No, not exactly. I don't know."
"Look, Jane, I love you so much that I did something that is just not done in our culture, and that is to give you a bondmark our first night together."
"What does that have to do with it, if you wanted to be committed to me? Is it because you changed your mind? Or because I'm part machine, part Cerberus rebuild?"
Garrus shook his head, "You just don't get it. It's not like other bites, like on your arm or your back, a bite on the neck means you are bonded, which is like being married. To put a bondmark on your girlfriend your first night together is imposing your claim on her, to do so without asking her permission, not requesting having a bondmark returned, it's a great insult to woman. Relationships are over after a partner disrespects the other like that. I was afraid you would be furious with me for doing that, Spirits, I didn't even ask you. It's like marrying you without you having a say in it. I put the medigel on it to try and get rid of it, hoping you hadn't seen it. When you got upset, I was unclear about what you were saying, but I'm very, very sorry."
She frowned and looked down at him, "I'm confused, if it is so taboo, why did you do it?"
He looked down at his hands and said quietly, "The strength of my love for you. I already felt so bonded to you. When we had sex the second time, my Turian instincts came out full force, just like they did the other day in cargo bay. I guess they've been repressed for a long time. I acted purely on my feelings, without thinking about yours, and the need to bond permanently with you was overwhelming, and I did. When I calmed down and woke up later, I saw it, and was ashamed I had insulted you that way. I didn't want to lose you for doing something so impulsive and disrespectful. That's why I got rid of it."
Wow. Shepard took it all it and mulled it over in her mind. "I knew that you had given me a bondmark, but I wasn't insulted, I was flattered, excited actually. I thought that meant you were showing the world I was your girlfriend, I was yours. Like when we touch foreheads. I was so happy. Then when you had removed it while I was asleep, and you called it a mistake, I was devastated. I thought you were just using me for sex."
Garrus stood up and reached out for her arm, "No, never. That's not the way Turians see things at all. With your experience with Turians, I thought you knew that. I never meant that I didn't want to bond with you, in fact, I feel the opposite, but it's just not done that way. Do you understand how in my culture it is presumptuous to place a bondmark without even talking about it?"
Shepard nodded her head yes. "Do you see how for me it was like you were rejecting me?"
Garrus nodded yes.
"Damn, Garrus, we just don't seem to be able to be together without hurting each other, emotionally, physically. Maybe we really shouldn't be a couple." Shepard looked down at her feet.
Garrus smiled, "Jane, we aren't fit to be with anyone else. We'd probably kill them. I know we'd never be happy with anyone else."
Shepard laughed.
"Remember what you told me? We're going to make mistakes, we'll just figure it out together, and it's okay. Not to worry." He tentatively put his arms around her. She relaxed into his hug and returned it. She started to cry.
"Spirits, Jane, I seem to bring this out in you."
"Oh, Garrus. It's because I love you so much. I'm easily hurt, and I'm afraid. I'm afraid to count on someone because then I'm risking being hurt. I've always preferred to be alone and happy instead of let my happiness be in someone else's hands."
"I think about it more like happiness being multiplied by sharing it with someone. Sure the pain can be more intense, but the pain of a mediocre life without passion is worse, right?"
She nodded.
"Keep in mind Jane, that I will never intentionally hurt you. Please talk to me if something doesn't seem right. Don't think the worst. Just know I'm kind of dumb about women, because I am."
She laughed.
"But don't ever doubt the extent of my love and devotion to you. I would marry you today if you'd let me."
She was speechless.
"Yes, I mean that. That's why I did that last night, that's how I really feel. But I know that's moving way too fast." Garrus said.
"Well, how about you move in with me, and we see how things go. If you want to ask me to marry you in a week from now, we'll reconsider it then." Shepard said.
His eyes lit up, "Don't tease me, Jane. I'm serious."
"I'm serious too. Bring your things up to my quarters. I was actually planning to ask you to move in with me yesterday morning."
"You were?"
"Yes, I was. And Garrus, I'm sorry. I overreacted and I'll communicate with you more rather than jump to conclusions. I guess my fear got the better of me, and I lost my mind." She started to tear up again. She felt ashamed that everything she'd thought about him the day before was wrong, just a misunderstanding. She was afraid at the intensity of her anger and how quickly her fear of being hurt had made her lash out against him.
"Hey, no more tears today, okay? I forgive you, just like you forgave me the other day. We've been through too much together." He pulled her face up and pulled his forehead down to hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a hug.
"I promise to read up more about Turian culture."
"And I promise to do the same about humans. I really want this to work, Jane."
"Me too."
They embraced for a minute, then Shepard got off the medbay bed and intertwined her arm in his as they walked out into the mess hall. Most of the crew was gone, with the exception of Tali and Dr. Chakwas. Miranda and Jack were deep in conversation at another table. Dr. Chakwas looked up at them with relief. "Well, glad to see it looks like you guys have worked it out." She gave Jane a warm smile.
"Thanks for having the guts to talk to me like that, Doctor." Shepard told her.
"Anytime, Jane. Hopefully I won't have to again soon."
Shepard shook her head no.
Jack looked up from the next table, "Everything okay now, Shepard?"
"Yea, thanks Jack. Sorry to barge in on you guys last night, I don't remember much about it."
Miranda laughed, "You came by and sat in front of my desk telling me that if you got drunk, that was your decision."
"Oh, well, sorry about that."
"Hey, no prob, Shepard. We've all been there." Jack said.
Shepard sat down next to Tali and Garrus offered to get her some breakfast. "Maybe later, I feel like shit from drinking all that dextro wine last night." Garrus laughed.
Miranda stood up, "Shepard, we're arriving at the Citadel in 5 hours. Would you like me to declare shore leave until tomorrow when you'd be in better position to lead the mission then?"
She sighed, "Yea, thanks, that would be a good idea. I think I'll just hang out on the ship, though."
Jack stood up and put her arm around Miranda's shoulders, "Yea, I think I'll do the same." Miranda smiled at her and they both walked to her quarters.
Garrus let out a low whistle, "Well, I guess Jack was right about her."
Tali was dumbfounded, "Keela, what? Wait a minute-"
Shepard laughed, "Yea, they're a thing now."
"That's pretty quick, don't you think? I thought they hated each other." Tali was incredulous.
"You never really know what goes on in someone else's mind and heart, Tali." Garrus said.
Shepard scoffed, "And most people don't know what's going on in their own."
Garrus gave her a squeeze.
Shepard ended up eating a small breakfast, at Garrus' insistence, and went up to her quarters to shower. She smelled pretty rank after all that drinking last night. She vaguely remembered throwing up at some point in her quarters the night before, too. After her shower, she was busy cleaning up the broken glass when she heard Garrus enter her quarters.
"In here!" she called out to him.
He stood in the doorway, looking at Shepard on her hands and knees sweeping up glass from the floor. "I wondered how you got that bandage on your other hand."
"Yea, I seem to be very emotional when it comes to you, Garrus."
"Is that a bad thing?" he leaned against the door frame.
She sat back and thought for a minute. "No, it doesn't have to be. You're the only one I feel comfortable letting my emotional barriers down. It's like letting a floodgate of feelings out, and it can be really overwhelming. I have to make sure I don't drown the both of us in it. I think over time I'll get better at letting myself feel, but having some control over it. I'm just used to not feeling as my only way of control."
"Seems like you've given this a lot of thought." Garrus smiled.
"Yeah, I don't want to go off on you like that again. Next time, maybe I won't be able to fix it. I don't want to treat you like that, you don't deserve it." She looked down at the floor of the bathroom.
Garrus got down on the floor with her, "Jane, it's going to take a lot more than that to get rid of me. We just have to remember that there's going to be a lot of misunderstandings at first, and to be very patient with each other, and ourselves too." He gave her a hug. She leaned her head on his shoulder and sighed with contentment. Garrus leaned back. "Do you need help cleaning this up?"
"No, thanks, I've got most of it done."
"Okay, I've brought my things up with me," he pointed behind him to his locker, "so if you want to tell me where to put my stuff."
She smiled broadly. "I haven't had a chance to clear out my drawers, but I'll be out in a minute and get it ready for you. If you've got bathroom stuff, you can put it in here." She pointed up to the shelves.
He got things sorted, and Shepard cleared out room in her drawers for his things.
"I kept my armor in the main battery along with my weapons. No reason to keep them up here. I've still got to be down there during the day to work." Garrus said.
Later in the day they arrived at the Citadel, and as most of the crew went out on shore leave, Shepard and Garrus spent the day on the ship, eating together, watching vids in their quarters, talking. That night they slept in each other's arms, contented.
The next morning, Shepard met with Anderson at the Citadel and discussed the mission to Horizon. Shepard confronted him about using Kaidan to investigate her. "Why didn't you tell me he was there?" Shepard was frustrated with Anderson's lack of trust.
Garrus started to feel a twinge of jealousy as he saw her anger with Anderson. She didn't still have feelings for Kaidan, did she? He stopped for a moment and thought about their conversations about cultural misunderstandings. He took a breath and refused to jump to any conclusions. This was confirmed with the next exchange she had with Anderson.
Anderson sighed, "I'm sorry, Shepard. You were with Cerberus. There had to be secrecy."
Shepard grabbed the bars of the railing and huffed in frustration, "I thought we were better friends than that."
"If I caused problems with your relationship with Kaidan, I'm sorry."
She waived her hand and shook her head, "There was never any real relationship with him. That was over long ago. Garrus and I are together. This isn't about him, it's about being able to trust you, Anderson."
"You can, Shepard. I won't make you doubt me again. I thought I was doing the right thing."
Garrus smiled, she was so confidently making it known that they were in a relationship. He definitely wanted to put that bondmark back on her. That would have to wait.
They finished up some loose ends on the Citadel, then were back on the Normandy that night. The next few days they settled into a routine of working during the day, eating together, taking their meals in their quarters at night, and spending as much time as possible together. Shepard particularly loved taking showers with him. He was fascinated with her hair and shampooed it for her, running his talons through it while the weight of the water pulled it down her back.
Shepard spent the better part of the next few days scanning planets in close by systems, getting resources. They were pretty depleted from the last missions, and needed some upgrades. They were headed back to Illium to check out the dossier on an assassin. Shepard took Miranda and Tali on the mission. Garrus stayed back and worked with the engineers on the weaponry systems. He and Shepard had discussed making sure decisions to take him on missions were based on work alone. They didn't want to give the impression of favoritism to the rest of the crew. Shepard meant it when she told the Illusive man that she never compromised the crew or the mission because of her personal life. Garrus respected her all the more for it. He was still working in the main battery when she came in to see him, informing him about the mission.
"A drell, huh?"
"Yea. I don't know much about them. Fascinating." Shepard twirled a loose lock of hair around her fingers. She sat on a crate and watched as Garrus worked.
"I had a drell on my team on Omega. He was loyal and lethal. They often work as personal guards for hanar."
"Oh yeah? Interesting. Well, we're going to take a day, then investigate the next dossier, an Asari Justicar."
"Now that's a rarity."
"So I've heard. Seems like we're going to assemble quite the non-Cerberus crew."
"Things must be desperate for the Illusive man to be actively recruiting so many non-humans."
Shepard cocked her head, "I haven't really thought about that, but you're right. Maybe he's starting to soften a little bit."
Garrus laughed, "I doubt it. He's a user, a manipulator. As soon as we aren't an asset, we'll all be gone."
"Well then it's a good thing I'm in charge." Shepard got up and walked towards him, putting her arms around his neck. He started a low growl. "How much more do you have to do?"
"Not much, I'll be up soon. Oh – and while you've been taking Nassana Dantius down, I've been doing more research on human relations."
Shepard raised an eyebrow, "Now that sounds intriguing. I'll get some dinner for us and take it up. See you soon."
"Definitely." Garrus finished up his work and left the main battery for the night. He passed the mess hall and saw the new drell crew member she was talking about. He was eating quietly at a table. Looks like he can hold his own in a fight, Garrus thought.
He entered their quarters and saw Shepard sitting on the couch, their meals in boxes on the table. "You didn't have to wait for me."
"Of course I'd wait for you, hon." Shepard poured drinks for them.
"What does that mean, 'hon'?" Garrus asked.
"Did I say that?" Shepard laughed, "It's a term of endearment. Short for 'honey'. Like sweetheart or darling."
"Oh, then I like it, hon."
She scrunched up her nose, "Doesn't sound the same when you say it."
He sat down and laughed, "You are so picky, you know?"
"Yea, I'm high maintenance. But only with you."
"Well, I'm flattered Janey."
"Did you just call me 'Janey'?"
"Yea. You have to have a nickname too. I like it."
She pondered for a moment. "Okay, I think I like it too. No one's ever called me that before."
They smiled at each other and ate their meal. Shepard cleaned up while Garrus changed out of his casuals into shorts. One thing about living together, they could dress much more casually around each other. Shepard was in a loose t-shirt and sleep shorts, hoping they wouldn't be on for long.
They sat back on the couch and sipped on their wine. Garrus turned her around facing away from him on the couch and started massaging her shoulders. "Ohhh, that feels fantastic. Is that the research you were doing?"
"No, something else." He leaned down and starting licking at her neck.
"Oh, well, I can't wait."
He massaged her for another ten minutes until the tension was mostly gone from her shoulders and back. He reached down and pulled her shirt off, Shepard putting her arms up so he could get it over her head. He picked her up by her waist, and stood them both up. "Come on, let's go to bed." She turned around and reached for the waistband of her shorts. "No," he said, "let me do that."
She grinned and sat back on the bed as Garrus reached a talon down the side of her shorts and pulled them off. She arched her back so he could get them over her round ass, him giving her a squeeze as he did so. She leaned on her elbows and told him, pointing at his shorts, "Now it's your turn." He shook his head no, then kneeled at the edge of the bed and with both hands spread her legs apart. Before she could register what was happening, he leaned down and starting slowly licking between her folds. She gasped at the intensity and surprise of his actions. He started growling lowly, she could feel the vibrations. He darted his tongue inside her, then thrust it in further as she screamed in pleasure. The roughness of his tongue, his growling vibrations, she felt white hot waves crash over her and started climaxing. "Garrus, Garrus!" all she could do was call out his name, and he reveled in the pleasure he was giving her. She clasped her legs behind him, holding him tight. He grabbed at her ribs, digging his blunt talons in. She continued to pant and catch her breath as she loosened her grip on him. He looked up at her, "Feel good?"
She looked down at him, "Spirits, Garrus, I thought I was going to pass out. You completely surprised me." He smiled at her, and reached across the table for the lotion and rubbed it on her legs and stomach. He started to crawl up on her, when she backed away. "Oh, no. Just like I said before, it's your turn." She pulled his shorts down and as he sat up on the bed, she grabbed his emerging erection in her hands and looking up at him, put her mouth on the tip. He groaned and reeled in the sensation of her hot, wet mouth on his penis. She started sucking, slowly at first, then harder, moving up and down as he tangled his hands in her hair, holding her down as he spilled inside her mouth. She sucked down harder and swallowed. He caught his breath, then looked down as she wiped her mouth and came up to give him a hug.
"Janey, I couldn't wait-"
"I didn't want you to wait. You taste amazing." She licked the side of his neck and gave him a hug.
Garrus cleared his throat, "Janey?"
"Mmm. Yeah?"
"Well, it hasn't been quite a week yet, but it's almost."
She was puzzled, "What?"
He pulled back to look at her. "Remember you said we'd wait a week then talk again about a bondmark."
She pushed her hair off her shoulders and looked up at him, "Oh, right. I remember." She grinned. "Well, what do you think?"
He took her hands in his, "I think I want everyone to know we belong to each other. Being with you is so natural, we are meant to be with each other. I didn't think I could love you any more, but everyday I'm proven wrong."
She looked at her small hands in his palm. "So, are you saying you want to be bondmates? You don't have to rush it if you think we should wait. I mean, I'm all for it, but I won't be mad if you want to put it off." She bit her lip.
He reached up and stroked her hair, "I don't want to wait any longer."
"I would love to, Garrus."
He pulled her hair off her neck and grabbed her shoulders tightly, digging his talons in so she couldn't move. He started licking and nibbling at her neck. She felt chills down her spine with excitement. This was so much better than his impulsive bonding last week. With one hand he pulled her head to the side so he could have better access, then growled loudly and bit down on the side of her neck, hard. She gasped, feeling what she hadn't the other time. He started to retreat, then bit down again, further into her skin. She closed her eyes, the pain was exquisite, but she withstood it, knowing it was worth every moment. He slowly took his teeth out and released her from his grip. He took a corner of the sheets and dabbed at the blood coming out. She looked at him, her blood dripping down his mouth. "Now you do me." He said. Her eyes opened wide. Her teeth weren't sharp. How would she be able to do it? She imitated his actions, and knelt up, grabbing his shoulders. "Does it matter what side?" she asked.
He nodded yes, and indicated the right side of his neck. He had bitten her right side also. "It's so that when we embrace, they are touching."
She leaned over his neck as he cocked his head to the side giving her full access. She hesitated a second, daunted by how hard his carapace was. She took a deep breath and thought about how much she had dreamt of this moment, and put all her emotions into the bite she placed on his neck. Garrus groaned as she bit through his tough, leathery skin. "Harder." He yelled. She complied, biting with all her strength until she felt her teeth penetrate a good half inch. She retreated her bite, looking down at it. It was smaller than a Turian's would be, but it was deep enough she thought to make a scar. "Is that good enough?" He opened his eyes and looked at her, his blue blood trickling down her mouth. He reached up to feel where she had bit him. It was deep. He smiled and cupped her face in his hands, kissing her, their blood intermingling. He leaned back and looked at her adoringly. "I love you, my bondmate."
"I love you too, Garrus, my bondmate." Oh, she loved the sound of that. They leaned back on the bed, drips of red and blue blood on the sheets. They entertwined their bodies and slept.
In the morning they took a shower together, both of them marveling at the bite scars on their necks. The mirror had been replaced a few days prior, and as Shepard admired her mark, Garrus hugged her from behind, both of them looking at their reflection, smiling. "No medigel, Jane, I promise." She leaned back and smiled. "I know Garrus. It was better to wait. It felt so right last night." Garrus said, "Mmm, I'm glad you thought so." He kissed her shoulder and left the shower to dress as she fixed her hair into a bun.
As she got ready, her mind refocused on work. She decided she needed to talk with Thane. She hadn't had a chance to debrief him last night, and was considering taking him on the mission to get the Justicar, but had concerns about how they would interact. First she needed to do some research on Justicars. She came out of the shower and dressed in her casuals. Her bitemark was just barely visible peeking out the top of her collar. Garrus' was halfway seen from the top of his shirt. She reached up to touch it. "Does it hurt?"
He shook his head no. "This bigger question is does that hurt?" he pointed to hers.
"A little, but I don't care." She smiled and he took her in his arms for a strong embrace. She pulled back. "I have to get ready for today's mission. I'm going to have a quick snack here, if you want to go downstairs and get some breakfast that's okay."
"You sure you don't want me to bring you back some?" Garrus offered.
"No, I wouldn't have time to eat it anyway. But thanks."
Garrus nodded and left for the mess hall while Shepard scoured the extranet for information on Asari justicars, eating an energy bar. After she gleaned as much info as she could, she went down to Thane's quarters to get more acquainted.
Garrus finished his breakfast and went to the main battery. More than once his thoughts and his hand went to the bitemark she had placed on his neck. He was in bliss thinking about how well their relationship was going and how things had progressed. He smiled thinking about what Kaidan would think if they ran into him again and he saw her bondmark. He was pretty sure most humans in the Alliance knew more about Turians and would recognize that. He worked on calibrations for a few hours, and left for their quarters.
As he walked through the mess hall, he caught a glimpse of Shepard sitting at a table with Thane, talking intently. He knew she was going to ask him on the day's mission, but something about how close he was to her pricked up his instincts. She looked up seeing Garrus look at her and smiled. He smiled back and walked to the elevator, determined to give her space to do her job. It's not like she was talking to him at a bar, she was working, basically. He went up to their quarters.
Shepard came up a little while later, getting ready for the mission. She went to the bathroom, then came out, deep in thought about the mission ahead. "Who else are you taking with you?" he asked.
"Grunt." She said, putting her hair up in a tight bun and getting her armor out.
"Really?"
"Yes. If Thane gets out of hand, I'd like to have his brute strength to help out. Besides, he's going stir crazy down there. He needs to get out and kill something." She grinned.
"Need some help with that?" Garrus asked pointing at her armor.
"Yea, thanks."
He helped her with the clasps on her armor and turned her around when she was finished. He gave her a kiss. "Be careful out there."
She leaned up and touched her forehead to his. "Don't worry, hon. I will."
Garrus went back to main battery to work to keep his mind off Shepard's mission. He knew if he listened into the com, he would not be able to keep from giving her advice and cautionary warnings. That would definitely piss her off, he thought.
Hours later, Joker's voice came over the com, "Garrus, thought you'd like to know your girlfriend is on her way back to the Normandy in the shuttle with the Justicar in tow."
"Thanks, Joker." Garrus finished up the calculation he was working on and went down to the cargo bay. He wanted to meet her as she got on board.
Garrus entered as Grunt walked past him. "Great mission, Garrus. Lots of kills." and gave him a slap on the back. Garrus shook his head as he kept walking. Shepard and a regal looking Asari stepped out of the shuttle.
"The 3rd floor has an observation room that would work as your quarters, Samara." He heard her say. The Asari nodded and started walking towards Garrus, who introduced himself.
"My pleasure, Garrus." Samara said, shaking his hand. Garrus could just see past her as Thane and Shepard were talking very closely. She was leaning down to hear what he was saying, and he was holding his hand on her shoulder. He knew he didn't trust that Drell. He quickly finished pleasantries with Samara and walked towards them. Shepard was walking away from Thane by now, smiling at Garrus, "Glad you came down to see me."
"Commander, urgent message from the Illusive man. He's waiting for you in the conference room." Joker said over the com.
Shepard groaned, "Okay Joker, I'll be right there. See you later Garrus." She walked towards the elevator, getting in it with a waiting Samara.
Garrus watched her leave, then turned his attention back to Thane. He walked up to him, intending to introduce himself, but smelling Shepard's scent on him, he grabbed Thane instead and pushed him roughly against the shuttle.
"Whoever you are, I suggest you reconsider your actions before I reciprocate." Thane said calmly, his hand on his gun at his side.
"I'm Garrus Vakarian, and I suggest you keep your hands off Shepard." He growled.
"What?" Thane said.
"You heard me, I'm not blind, Drell. Your attraction to her is obvious, and you will stop." Garrus let go of Thane, but refused to back away.
Thane let go of his grip on his gun and adjusted his jacket. "What you want me to do is no consideration of mine."
Garrus started to lunge at him when the elevators opened and Shepard stepped back out. Garrus backed up and they both turned to look as she walked towards him. "Com in the conference room is down. I suggest we go to the mess hall, boys. It's been a long day, time to fuel up." She motioned them to follow her on the elevator. She turned back around, and as Thane started to walk away, Garrus swiftly caught up to him and grabbed his arm. "She's my bondmate." He hissed at him.
Thane scoffed, "She allowed me to touch her."
It took all of Garrus' control not to take him by the throat, when Shepard turned back, sensing the tension between them. She looked up at Garrus, puzzled. "Why don't you go up and change out of your armor first?" he said.
She looked down, "Oh, yea, I forgot about that. I'll meet you guys in the mess." Shepard got on the elevator and went up to her quarters as Garrus turned back to Thane. "Ask her yourself, Drell, if you don't believe me. And if you still have a question about it, I'll change your mind personally."
Thane stood impassively, amused by Garrus' reaction. He had been attracted to Shepard, but she gave no indication of being bonded with anyone. He was looking forward to seeing her himself and assessing the situation. This Turian was either a delusional lovesick psycho, in which case he would relish making Shepard his mate, or telling the truth, in which case he would have to accede to him and look elsewhere. Perhaps the Justicar.
Garrus turned around and marched towards the elevator. Thane followed him, and went to the mess hall with him. They walked out silently, Thane sat at a table, waiting calmly, while Garrus went to Gardner and got two dextro meals for himself and Shepard.
Shepard walked out and saw Thane at the table, sitting down next to him. He smiled over at her. He saw no mark on her neck. "I have a question. Are you bonded with the Turian?"
Shepard blushed, "Yes, how did you know that?"
Thane leaned back surprised, "He told me. I apologize, I didn't see a mark."
Shepard turned to show him her other side and pulled her collar down, exposing his bite mark. Garrus looked up and saw her showing it to Thane. He smiled. Told you so, asshole. He got the meals and brought them back to the table, handing one to Jane. She took it and started to eat, as Thane looked over at Garrus, now seeing the corresponding bite mark on his neck. It was lighter, but it was there. Garrus looked at Thane with satisfaction and put a forkful of food in his mouth.
"My apologies, Turian." Thane said. He got up and went to the cook to get himself something to eat. "What was that about?" Shepard asked.
"He had intentions on you. We argued in the cargo bay. He didn't believe we were bondmates."
Shepard was dumbfounded. "What? What makes you think he had intentions? He never did anything. And why wouldn't he believe we were bonded?"
Garrus moved across the table to sit next to her, "For Drell, any type of touch is an intensely intimate gesture. You must have initiated it somehow, and when he reciprocated, and you didn't stop him, he took that as your interest back in him. He told me so."
Shepard was horrified, "I swear Garrus, I never-"
Garrus put his hand on her arm, "I know you didn't mean anything, even if you just put your hand on his shoulder, that's all it would take. Their culture is different."
Shepard thought about it, "You're right. I need to read up on Drell culture, because that almost became a serious problem."
Garrus grinned, "I think he's got the message now. It shouldn't be a problem anymore. They might be aggressive, but they also respect boundaries."
Shepard snuggled up to him, "Well, I'm extra glad we made it official last night. I wouldn't want you guys to kill each other."
"You don't know how that almost happened in the cargo bay, Jane."
Her eyes widened. Thane sat back down across the table with them. "I hope we can start over, Shepard, Turian." He held his hand out to Garrus, "Thane Krios."
Garrus took his hand and shook it. "Again, Garrus Vakarian."
"You don't see many Turian – human relationships." Thane said, eating his meal.
"True, I'm a bit of a special case." Shepard smiled.
"I can see that." Thane said, pointing to her dextro meal.
She smiled, "Yea, I get that a lot."
The three of them ate and talked, and after a while, Garrus started to think they might actually become friends. They had a lot in common, and he knew Thane would completely back off his flirtations with Shepard. A Drell's sense of honor was like a Turian's.
Samara walked in the mess hall, and Garrus watched as she caught Thane's eye. Well, that was quick, he thought.
Samara sat next to Thane at the table and joined the conversation. Shepard caught on to Thane's intentions towards Samara thanks to Garrus' previous explanation, as she saw him place a hand on her arm briefly. Samara didn't react, but an Asari Justicar was a mystery, so who knows how she would respond.
Shepard looked over at Garrus who was smiling down at her. "Ready for bed?" Shepard asked.
Garrus leaned over and touched his forehead to hers, "Yes, let's go." They stood up and left the table. Samara was surprised to see they were in a relationship. She had a lot to learn about being on a Cerberus ship. She looked back at Thane. She had a more intimate knowledge of Drell, having worked with a few before. "Well, Thane. I suppose we need to have a conversation."
Thane was intrigued. He appreciated her forthrightness. "Indeed, Justicar."
She stood up and he followed her to her quarters. Samara looked out the observation window and turned back to look at Thane. "Unlike Shepard, I am familiar with Drell culture and customs. How familiar are you with Justicars?"
Thane stood in front of her, his hands clasped behind his back. "I am somewhat familiar with Justicars and their code."
Samara was impressed. Most other races, even Asaris were unfamiliar with Justicars. Afraid of them, actually.
She started to slowly pace in front of the window. "Exactly what are your intentions?"
Thane pursed his lips. "I am not looking for a relationship, if that is what you are asking."
"Hmm. That is what I am asking. I do not wish to go into particulars, but I am not looking for a relationship either. My reasons go beyond my code."
Thane looked down.
Samara continued. "That being said, I do not deny an attraction."
Thane was surprised, but kept his reaction in check.
She turned to face him. "However, I do not wish to be one in a string of romances you have on this ship." She mirrored his stance, her hands clasped behind her back.
"Whoever I would be intimate with on this ship would not have that embarrassment thrust upon them." He looked back at her intently. "However, I have an inclination towards the short term. I am dying."
Samara was shocked, then frowned. "What do you mean?"
Thane started to pace in front of her. "I have Kepral's syndrome. I won't bore you with the details, but it is a non-communicable lung disease that has no cure. That is why I agreed to come on this mission. Impossible odds do not scare me. This is also why I am so aggressive in pursuit of female companionship. I know this is my last chance to be close to someone, and I admit to being selfish in wanting to again feel that passion and joy."
"How much time do you have?" Samara asked.
"A year, maybe two."
She turned around to face the window. Thane watched her back as she stood for a minute in silence. She turned back around.
"Well, Thane. It seems that we are well matched. I agree to what you are offering. You look surprised."
"Indeed I am, Samara. I have little to offer, and yet you are generous enough to accept."
Samara sighed, "I too have little to offer. No potential for the long term or children. That is why it seems we are well matched. I admit it has been a very long time since I have known the comfort of a romantic relationship, and I miss it as well." She walked towards Thane and put her hand on his chest. He took her hand in his.
Upstairs in Shepard's quarters a similar scene was playing out. They embraced and Garrus stroked her hair. "I've got to check my messages before we go to bed." Shepard said. Garrus nodded and went to the bathroom. He came out and changed into his sleep shorts. "Do you want to watch part of a vid before we go to bed?" he looked up to see Shepard still looking at her computer, frowning. "What is it?"
"Oh, I got a message from Kaidan."
Garrus walked over to her, stopping short of the computer screen. Shepard looked up at him, "Oh, you can read it, I don't care. He's just trying to apologize."
Garrus read it. He looked back at Shepard. "Are you going to answer him?"
Shepard thought for a moment. "No, no need to. Anything I would say would just sound snarky. 'Hey, no problem, I never loved you anyway, now I'm with someone much better and we're deliriously happy'. It would just be kicking him when he's down. He'll get the message enough by my silence."
Shepard reached over and deleted the message.
"Yeah, saying , 'I've moved on with my fiance' would be pretty harsh." Garrus said.
Shepard froze. Fiance? She snapped her head up to look at Garrus. "Is that what you call a bondmate?"
"No, that's what you call it when someone proposes to you." And he got on one knee and pulled a ring out of his pocket.
Shepard was shocked. "Where – where did you get that?"
"When we were on the Citadel. I've done my research on human customs too, Janey. I know this is pretty quick, but considering we've known each other for over three years, well. I love you, and I know you're the one."
She stood stunned, looking at Garrus and the ring he was offering her. Was this a dream? She couldn't believe it. Finally she said, "Yes, of course, yes!" She gave Garrus a hug and kiss as tears streamed down her cheeks. "Oh, my god, I just can't believe it!" Garrus took her hand and held the ring out. "I think you have to put it on a certain finger, but I'm not sure which one." She looked at the band, inset with a blue stone. She put it on her third finger and admired it.
"It's a Turian stone. I know humans use diamonds in engagement rings, but I chose a blue one because it matched my family colors."
"Oh, Garrus, I love it. It's perfect."
He smiled with relief. He was happy he was getting better at reading her reactions and understanding human culture. He wasn't sure if she'd tell him they needed to wait, and he was thrilled she'd said yes.
"Wow, we've gone from best friends to boyfriend and girlfriend to fiancé in two weeks."
"Is it too fast for you, Jane?"
Shepard beamed at him, "No, Garrus. We wasted too much time before. I'm not going to do that anymore."
